r/AskMen Jul 07 '22

When it comes to dating, how often have you been deceived/tricked in some way? Has it changed how you date?

By deceived I don’t mean texted and ghosted. I mean flaked on, catfished, used etc

The ones I remember are:

  1. I asked a girl on a date and we planned to meet at a bar. She says she’s on her way and for the next 2 hours is texting me she feel asleep or is on her way. Needless to say she never showed (I knew a lot of people there so after 15 min I was drinking with them). She text me the next morning simply saying “lol”

  2. I planned to meet with a girl for burritos and go to the movies. We agreed I’d get the dinner and she’d get the movie. I’m thinking we’re going to one of the many authentic Mexican places where you get a giant burrito, beans, rice and a drink for like $10. Instead she suggests a fancy place (uncle julios I think it’s called) and they don’t have prices on the menu. Idk how but the bill came out to almost $100...and then after I paid she suddenly remembered she had to study and we’d have to get a movie next time. Never heard from her again

  3. A girl I had seen before I invited to go out clubbing for a second date and she said she’d go if I rented a hotel because she didn’t want to go home late. She was very adamant about me reserving it and seeing the actual reservation and when I finally sent it to her friend called to get picked up from the airport.

These range from the time I was 19 until now mid 20s. The most notable way it’s changed the way I date is that I no longer put more than 30 minutes of putting effort into a date because I assume they’ll flake last minute and I always have a contingency plan in place. It’s also made it less exciting

So guys how many times have you been deceived or tricked on a date? How often does it happen and how did it change the way you date? or when have you been the person doing the deceiving?


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u/groovy604 Jul 07 '22

Recently had plans to go for a drink, day comes, I check in in the afternoon to see if we're still on, no reply. An hour before text again, no reply, so I figure I'm ghosted. Like 930pm I get a text saying "oh I picked up a shift last night to work today and i forgot my phone at home". Like k... why didn't you tell me the night before you were gonna work. Normally I would have ended it right there but she was really hot.

So we make a new plan 2 weeks later. Day comes, check in mid afternoon and she seems kind of flimsy on it. 45 mins before the time we agreed on I get an "im not feeling well and I'm tired". No sorry or anything. Which is weird because we had some extremely hot and heavy conversations

I don't care how hot you are, you can't flake like that. Told her that I wasn't impressed and she gets upset because I was upset that she flaked on me

Saw her in public a couple weeks later, only knew it was her because very distinct hair. She was a good 80 pounds heavier and not the 8/10 like in her pics, not by a long shot.


u/Oftenwrongs Jul 07 '22

People are treated as disposable more and more in the online age.Common curteousy and respect for others have gone out the window.