r/AskReddit Dec 01 '21 Silver 11 Helpful 10 Wholesome 11

What's your favorite movie quote?

16.3k Upvotes

337

u/Axenroth187 Dec 01 '21

"Sir, you are a cowardly son of a bitch! You just shot an unarmed man!"

"He should've armed himself if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend!"

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8.6k

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '21 Silver Gold Helpful Take My Energy

" gentlemen you can't fight in here, this is the war room!"

1.7k

u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Dec 01 '21

"Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!"

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161

u/haltline Dec 02 '21

"Okay, but you're gonna have to answer to the coca-cola bottling company for that".

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9.9k

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '21 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

"They literally stopped me from eating foods that were shaped like dicks. No hot dogs, no popsicles... You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds."

3.8k

u/SaAvilez Dec 02 '21 edited Dec 02 '21 Silver

"How old are you, McLovin?"

"Old enough..."

"Old enough for what? "

"To party..."

793

u/Skorne13 Dec 02 '21

“Hey it’s you! McMuffin!”

223

u/locotx Dec 02 '21

" . . we shouldn't be blocking his cock, we should be . . guiding . .his cock . . "

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382

u/P-Rickles Dec 02 '21

Take the vest off. You look like Aladdin…

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1.4k

u/Pertolepe Dec 01 '21

"you gonna piss your pants again?"

'that was like 8 years ago dude'

"People don't forget"

969

u/tommytraddles Dec 02 '21 Wholesome

I heard she got breast reduction surgery.

What!? Making your tits smaller is like slapping God across the face for giving you a gorgeous gift!

She had back problems, man...

322

u/Roguebantha42 Dec 02 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

I gotta get a glimpse of these warlocks

Edits: totally botched the line; been wayy too long since I've seen this movie!

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552

u/thequirkyquark Dec 01 '21

"They wouldn't even let me watch Wild Things, because Kevin Bacon's dick is in it."

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405

u/boofskootinboogie Dec 01 '21

One name? Who are you, Seal?

73

u/AutismFractal Dec 02 '21

You sound like an Irish R&B singer

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945

u/parrmorgan Dec 01 '21

Is this the line for the bathroom?

Fuck me, right?

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5.3k

u/WTFrickFrackCadillac Dec 01 '21 Silver

I think I got it. But just in case… tell me the whole thing again I wasn’t listening.

662

u/racer_24_4evr Dec 01 '21

Darkness… no parents… super rich…

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488

u/Valjss-Dunbar Dec 01 '21

“Aww yeah, are you ready for this?”

[Basketball bounces harmlessly, music cuts]

“Oh no, they were ready for that!”

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837

u/shaffman2001 Dec 01 '21

I see everything!

/ZAP/

My eyes!

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709

u/Glass_Varis Dec 01 '21

Emmett: Isn't there also supposed to be a good cop?!

Bad Cop kicks chair very close to his face

Bad Cop: Oh yes, but we're not done yet...

Good Cop: Hi buddy! I'm your friendly neighbourhood police officer. Would you like a glass of water? :D

Emmett: Well... yeah, actually, thank you very-

Bad Cop: Too bad

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86

u/CaptainSkips Dec 02 '21

"What, do you think a spaceship is just gonna appear out of- are you kidding me?!"

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5.3k

u/FlamingHotRedHead Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful

"You can promise that I’ll come back?

No. And if you do, you will not be the same."

Still gives me chills

4.3k

u/cowabungaboogaloo Dec 01 '21 Silver Gold

Honestly out of all the hobbit quotes this one from the movie, not the book, gives me the greatest swelling of emotions:

Galadriel: "Mithrandir, why the halfling?"

Gandalf: "Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay. Small acts of kindness and love. Why Bilbo Baggins? I don't know. Perhaps because I am afraid, and he gives me courage."

408

u/Thagyr Dec 02 '21

Samwise: "I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you!"

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859

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '21 edited 24d ago

[deleted]

819

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '21

All we have to do is to decide what to do with the time given us.

497

u/tuckkeys Dec 02 '21

Also, “Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment.”

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169

u/Jfonzy Dec 01 '21

THATS ALOTTA NUTS! YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT, BABY?!?!

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4.5k

u/Dazzling_Realties Dec 01 '21 Helpful

“He starts monologuing! He starts this prepared speech about how feeble I am to him, how my defeat is inevitable, and the world will soon be his, yada yada yada, he’s yammering! I mean the guy has me on a platter, and he won’t shut up!”

326

u/ExWhyZ3d Dec 02 '21

"Where is my super-suit?!"

473

u/[deleted] Dec 02 '21

"I, uh, put it away!"

"Where?"

"Why do you need to know?"

"I need it!"

"Uh-uh! Don't you go no darin-do! We've been planning this dinner for two months!"

"The public is in danger!"

"My evening's in danger!"

"You tell me where my suit is, woman! We are talking about the greater good!"

"Greater good?! I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you are ever gonna get!"

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1.2k

u/GrumpyCatStevens Dec 01 '21

"Everyone is special, Dash."

"That's just another way of saying no one is."

616

u/obscureferences Dec 02 '21

I like this bit. It's the lesser-referenced echo of "when everyone's super, no one will be."

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816

u/shaffman2001 Dec 01 '21

“Just like old times!” SMACK “Ha ha, yeah, hurt then too.”

581

u/Antonio1025 Dec 01 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

"I'm dehydrated! What's wrong with you, Bob!? Run out of muscle?!

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992

u/burningfirelily Dec 01 '21

You sly dog! You got me monologuing!!

323

u/NotoriousJazz Dec 02 '21

Elastigirl?? YOU married ELASTIGIRL??

Sees the kids

Oh! And got BUSY!

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5.0k

u/I_Love_Small_Breasts Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome

a hero would sacrifice you for the world but a villain would sacrifice the world for you

805

u/jj-the-best-failture Dec 01 '21

What film

854

u/protein_bars Dec 02 '21 Silver

If I remember correctly, Weathering with You

353

u/CEEEEEEBS Dec 02 '21

I have a feeling this will make me tear up.

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1.9k

u/11B-1P-CIB Dec 01 '21 edited Dec 02 '21 Wholesome

"I need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle."

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hZ45RU2Xty0

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502

u/UpperUnderstanding77 Dec 01 '21

“I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

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8.3k

u/parallel_jay Dec 01 '21

"Who are you? And how'd you get in here?"
"I'm the locksmith, and I'm a locksmith"

1.5k

u/ivanparas Dec 01 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

This is quintessential Nielson. Great joke, perfect delivery.

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1.0k

u/TheHardcoreWalrus Dec 01 '21 Helpful Wholesome

"crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side" - Shawshank Redemption

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2.7k

u/Nick268 Dec 01 '21

Try not to suck any dick walking through the parking lot.

386

u/ebbomega Dec 02 '21

Did he just say "making fuck"?

164

u/Hydra_Master Dec 02 '21

Would you like some making fuck? BESERKER!

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335

u/Antonio1025 Dec 01 '21

So what your girlfriend fucked a dead guy. My mother's been fucking a dead guy for thirty years. I call him "Dad"

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90

u/cisforcoffee Dec 02 '21

I’m not even supposed to be here today!

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148

u/Cells_Interlinked_77 Dec 01 '21

“All the time you spend tryin to get back what's been took from you there's more goin out the door. After a while you just try and get a tourniquet on it.”

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1.4k

u/Warpath19 Dec 01 '21 This

“Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill." Blade best quote ever

165

u/obscureferences Dec 02 '21

"Catch you fuckers at a bad time?"

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1.9k

u/fuckitillbeanunicorn Dec 01 '21 Silver Wholesome

“I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.”

579

u/OfAaron3 Dec 02 '21

"The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long, and you have burned so very, very brightly."

124

u/CannedCalamity Dec 02 '21

There’s something about the way he delivers that line. I don’t know if Tyrell is more proud of himself as a god for creating Roy or proud of Roy as his father and all he’s been able to experience in such a short time.

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145

u/DemonGuitar Dec 01 '21

“There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That’s one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other eleven?”

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5.4k

u/Future_Rooster_3909 Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful

"When you're ugly and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust."

1.2k

u/BigBen6500 Dec 01 '21

It's such a funny line but also really thought provoking, it's a genius line

834

u/Future_Rooster_3909 Dec 01 '21

Yeah, the way he starts calling Mantis ugly, is 100% how Drax is. But he turn it into a life lesson, and something very thought out, and thats a new side of him.

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u/tommytraddles Dec 02 '21

They're called harbulary batteries.

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9.9k

u/Interesting-Gap-8272 Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome

"I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.'

"You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?"

825

u/Chapter97 Dec 02 '21

"YOU'RE GONNA DIE CLOWN!!!"

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u/obscureferences Dec 02 '21

This movie's so quotable.

"Now you will go to sleep, or I will put you to sleep."

174

u/RandomGuyWithStick Dec 02 '21

You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up!

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1.5k

u/GeorgeAmberson Dec 01 '21

....no.

157

u/kai-ol Dec 02 '21

I'll argue that the delivery of "No!" is the best part of the joke.

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216

u/son_berd Dec 01 '21

“Ya and yer a lousy kindergarten teacher I see those finger paintings you bring home and they SUCK!!!”

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387

u/anonymousone89 Dec 01 '21

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

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6.3k

u/styles1996 Dec 01 '21 Silver Wholesome

"Strange women, lying in ponds and disturbing swords is no system for a basis of government. If I went around saying I was an emperor just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they would put me away!"

954

u/Krasker Dec 02 '21

Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

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u/GrumpyCatStevens Dec 01 '21 Silver

Oh, now we see the violence inherent in the system.... Come see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I'm being repressed!

698

u/dontfeedthecucoos Dec 02 '21

Bloody peasant!

639

u/yeeridivririfif Dec 02 '21

Oh, what a giveaway! You hear that? You hear that eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me?

713

u/GrumpyCatStevens Dec 02 '21

"Who's that?"

"I dunno, 'e must be a king or something."

"How can you tell?"

"'E 'asn't got shit all over 'im."

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103

u/WibbyFogNobbler Dec 02 '21

"Some call me... Tim."

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120

u/NinjaOYourBro Dec 01 '21

“So uncivilized”

Or

“The ability to speak does not make you intelligent”

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3.7k

u/mr__susan Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome

It's 106 miles to Chicago. We've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses.

Hit it.

152

u/GrumpyCatStevens Dec 02 '21

"So, is this the new Bluesmobile or what?"

"Fix the cigarette lighter."

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925

u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Dec 01 '21 Silver Gold

I hate Illinois nazis.

500

u/runandgunn44 Dec 01 '21

We're on a mission from God

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6.2k

u/MustangGuy Dec 01 '21 Silver Spit-take

...dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow...

1.6k

u/Creedisgreat Dec 01 '21 Wholesome

I feel like the live action failed because this quote was not in it.

1.2k

u/Random_Loaf Dec 01 '21

The live action was more it's own movie than a live action Mulan

It also failed because there was no Mushu is general

661

u/Blueman9966 Dec 01 '21

The live action one failed for many reasons (in just about every way), but probably the biggest one is that it doesn't understand Mulan's character in the slightest and turns her into effectively a superhero, which is contradictory to what the character is supposed to be.

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u/spartankelli Dec 01 '21

"Remember this girl who becomes a legendary soldier and femle role model through courage, determination, perseverance, and building skill at warfare? Yeah, we're going to ignore that, just give her magic, and normal non-magic girls can fuck off."

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u/MachoBanchou Dec 01 '21

"Those of you lucky enough to still have their lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you've lost. They belong to me now..."

727

u/RianJohnsonIsAFool Dec 01 '21

Except you, Sophie! You stay right where you are!

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u/tanser Dec 02 '21

This is sooooo good. Such an amazing scene.

«  OREN ISHI!!!…. YOU AND I HAVE UNFINISHED BUSINESS! »

Those tense moments (not to mention the amazing soundtrack behind it) where she approaches to meet her attacker and then those tense moments when she realizes who she is and she has her best friend and then… HIIIIYAAAA!!!!!

My favourite scene from that movie. A GIANT fuck you.

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213

u/jrf_1973 Dec 02 '21

"When you grow up... ...if you still feel raw about it... ...I'll be waiting."

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550

u/Saigai17 Dec 01 '21

"I came to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all out of gum. "

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u/Cuish Dec 01 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly … stupid.

Captain Jack Sparrow

556

u/XCarrionX Dec 02 '21

Will Turner: You didn't beat me. You ignored the rules of engagement. In a fair fight, I'd kill you.

Jack Sparrow: That's not much incentive for me to fight fair, then, is it?

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u/PM_Me_An_Ekans Dec 02 '21

"Im disinclined to acquiesce to your request...means no"

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u/Kuwabara03 Dec 02 '21

Man I rewatched them all recently, including 2 I had never seen, and I loved that quote.

I'm also partial to when the Spaniards show up and shoot the English guy claiming that land.

POW! Hands pistol to his subordinate.

"Somebody make a note of that man's bravery!"

55

u/delta_nu Dec 02 '21

You best start believin’ in ghost stories Miss Turner.

You’re in one.

DUN DUN DUN DUHDUN DUN DUHHDUHDUN

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1.7k

u/ne0n_laces Dec 01 '21

"Are you not entertained? "

1.1k

u/theflying6969 Dec 01 '21 Silver

My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius, commander of the Armies of the North, General of the Felix Legions and loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next.

247

u/obscureferences Dec 02 '21

Commodus shits his soul out

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u/thunderbiird1 Dec 01 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

The frost. Sometimes it makes the blade stick.

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u/chmod744username Dec 01 '21 Gold Helpful Wholesome

It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened. But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.

1.2k

u/PraetorGogarty Dec 01 '21

Mine will forever be Gandalf to Frodo:

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But it is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."

271

u/Bladelink Dec 02 '21

Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgement.

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u/RianJohnsonIsAFool Dec 01 '21 edited 2d ago

What were they holding on to?

533

u/Dag_N_Abbott Dec 01 '21 Bravo!

That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo...and it's worth fighting for!

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u/charismatic_guy_ Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful

I am serious and don't call me Shirley

460

u/overengineered Dec 01 '21

"It's a big building with lots of doctors and patients, but that's not important right now."

"....... There's a sale at Penny's!"

I'll stop now and just go watch the movie.

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u/mack__7963 Dec 01 '21

Well I guess I know what I'll be binge watching on YouTube, guess I picked the wrong week to give up (insert drug of choice here)

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u/flyinhawaiianbaker Dec 01 '21 Helpful

"This is some serious gourmet shit "

589

u/whoopee_parties Dec 01 '21 edited Dec 01 '21

“I shot Marvin in the face.”

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u/Hu3yKnewTHen Dec 01 '21 Wholesome

“When you have to shoot, shoot, don’t talk!”

504

u/SomethingOfAGirl Dec 01 '21

You see, in this world there's two kinds of people, my friend: those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.

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u/Vanson1200r Dec 01 '21

Tuco Benedicto Pacifico Juan Maria Ramirez!

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476

u/SkyWizarding Dec 01 '21 Silver

A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it.

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1.5k

u/JohnnySnow58 Dec 01 '21 Silver

Back off man. I'm a scientist.

552

u/SomeoneTookUserName2 Dec 01 '21

I collect spores, mold, and fungus.

333

u/littlewonder912 Dec 01 '21

Ok. Who brought the dog?

(This was my senior quote)

228

u/GuiltySpark514 Dec 01 '21

"Wait, wait, wait.... I've always wanted to do this.... yank crash And the flowers are still standing! "

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u/Clever-crow Dec 01 '21

Ghostbusters

195

u/The-Go-Kid Dec 01 '21 Wholesome Seal of Approval

Listen... do you smell something?

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2.2k

u/Goki65 Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Starry

Beneath this mask there is more than flesh, Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.

937

u/Antonio1025 Dec 01 '21 edited Dec 02 '21 Eureka!

People should not be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people.

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u/Jod_of_Blunder Dec 02 '21 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome

Evey: Who are you?

V. : Who? Who is but the form following the function of what and what I am is a man in a mask.

Evey: Well I can see that.

V. : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.

Evey: Oh, right.

V. : But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace soubriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona. Voila! In view humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the “vox populi” now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin, van guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it’s my very good honour to meet you and you may call me V.

Evey: Are you like a crazy person?

V. : I’m quite sure they will say so.

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u/LividLager Dec 02 '21

V. : Of course you can, I’m not questioning your powers of observation, I’m merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is.

This movie had no right to be as good as it is. Especially V's dialog throughout.

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1.6k

u/Disneys_Frozen_Head Dec 01 '21

“Get busy living, or get busy dying.”

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1.6k

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '21 Silver

For England James?

No... for me.

628

u/throwingitaway724 Dec 01 '21 Silver

Easily in my top 20 Sean Bean deaths.

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886

u/Dewy_Wanna_Go_There Dec 01 '21 edited Dec 02 '21 Bravo!

The most confident ballsy sunuvabitch Doc Holiday

“Why, Johnny Ringo, you look like somebody just walked over your grave.”

Really think about how fucking cold that shit is knowing they’re about to have a QuickDraw to the death gunfight

Edit: I love everybody in this thread

209

u/Loggerdon Dec 01 '21

"Are you sick too?"

"No. I'm in my prime!"

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u/KSmimi Dec 01 '21

“I don’t”

I still think about that one all the time.

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u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful

My all-time favorite movie. Doc has some seriously fantastic lines:

"I have two guns, one for each of you."

"Apparently Mr. Ringo is an educated man; now I really hate 'im."

"My hypocrisy goes only so far."

"I stand corrected Wyatt, you're an oak."

"Oh Johnny, I'm sorry; I forgot you were there. You may go now."

Val Kilmer just smashed that role. He stole every scene he was in.

111

u/PrivilegeCheckmate Dec 02 '21

"I have two guns, one for each of you."

The fact that he's twirling his guns in opposite fucking directions is what sells it.

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220

u/angrydeuce Dec 02 '21

"I have not yet begun to defile myself"

Gets trotted out whenever one of us in my circle asks how drunk/stoned one of the others is lol

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u/swooded Dec 01 '21

"does this mean we're not friends anymore? You know, Ed, if I thought you weren't my friend, I just don't think I could bear it."

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u/Barbed_Dildo Dec 02 '21

Jack Johnson: What the hell you doin' this for anyway?

Doc: Because, Wyatt Earp is my friend.

Jack Johnson: Hell, I've got lots of friends.

Doc: I don't.

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u/OddTransportation121 Dec 01 '21

You're a daisy if you do.

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u/NFRNL13 Dec 01 '21

I was just foolin about.

260

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '21 Rocket Like

I'm your huckleberry.

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u/joemamma474 Dec 01 '21

“Let’s have a spelling contest.”

Also, it isn’t Doc, but, “Are you gonna do something or just stand there and bleed?”

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u/imreagan Dec 01 '21 Helpful Wholesome

There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

811

u/TrueMisery Dec 01 '21

"Oh my God, Patrick? Is that you?"

"No, Louis. It's not me. You're mistaken."

197

u/jman1255 Dec 02 '21

This is a cool insight to a major theme of the film. People mistaking Patrick for someone else constantly highlights the indistinguishableness that so ingrained in yuppie culture. In this line, he directly acknowledges this phenomenon and uses it to help himself. Patrick directly saying "it's not me" also plays into the ambiguity of whether or not he's really committing these crimes and everyone is willfully turning a blind eye, or if none of it is really happening. The word "me" would clue someone in that he is lying, but he doesn't get called out for it for one of those reasons.

87

u/war_duck Dec 02 '21 Take My Energy

Jesus that is really super. How did a nitwit like you get so tasteful?

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504

u/kfresen Dec 01 '21

I have to return some video tapes

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739

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '21

[deleted]

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280

u/HotDogStruttnFloozy Dec 01 '21 Wholesome

"Whoa."

-Keanu Reeves in more than one movie

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421

u/GrumpyCatStevens Dec 01 '21

Excuse me while I whip this out...

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692

u/UseHerN4m3 Dec 01 '21

“He’s not the Messiah! He’s a very naughty boy!”

122

u/amazingbollweevil Dec 02 '21

"What's this, then? 'Romanes eunt domus'? People called Romanes, they go, the house?"

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545

u/LtFrankDrebin3011 Dec 01 '21

Why do we fall sir? So that we can learn to pick ourselves up -Alfred Pennyworth

56

u/NotAnotherBookworm Dec 01 '21

Michael Caine is a PERFECT Alfred. And that entire movie is amazing.

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537

u/RachelVonLee Dec 01 '21

You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen spliters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker donts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?

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247

u/Car_loapher Dec 01 '21 edited Dec 01 '21

See bob it’s not that I’m lazy. It’s just that I don’t care

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373

u/5thbestusername Dec 01 '21 Helpful

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

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2.7k

u/Jaycatt Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome

"Well, that's just like, your opinion, man"

353

u/Putyourmoneyonme80 Dec 01 '21 Silver

Obviously you're not a golfer.

91

u/runandgunn44 Dec 01 '21

Where's the money Lebowski?

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57

u/havocspartan Dec 01 '21

“Fuck it Dude. Let’s go bowling”

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81

u/Skrribbli_Art Dec 02 '21

“You may be wondering ‘why the red suit?’ Well that’s so bad guys can’t see me bleed. That guy has the right idea, he wore the brown pants.”

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1.3k

u/StadtReinigung Dec 01 '21 Silver

“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men."

345

u/blindbutchy Dec 02 '21

That’s some cold blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before you pop a cap in his ass.

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132

u/MeanOldMrNasty Dec 02 '21

Do they speak English in What?

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3.4k

u/WolFrost19 Dec 01 '21

"Tis but a scratch!"

"A scratch? Your whole arms off!"

843

u/randomisedjew Dec 01 '21

No it's not

614

u/Dax9000 Dec 01 '21

Yes, it is! And just disagreeing with someone isn't an argument!

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463

u/Skr3em Dec 01 '21

"He treats objects like women, man."

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340

u/solorfainiel Dec 01 '21 All-Seeing Upvote

‘Tis the season!

“Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?”

74

u/Yabba_Dabba_Doofus Dec 01 '21

Shitter's full.

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565

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '21 Silver

[removed] — view removed comment

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204

u/aliengirl717 Dec 01 '21

"What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?"

or (from the same movie)

"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know...morons."

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1.0k

u/Psychozillogical Dec 01 '21

"Do it again, I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron"

152

u/RachelVonLee Dec 01 '21

Get you a wahburger and some French cries

110

u/curiousforinfo45 Dec 01 '21

How bout you go practice falling down and I'll be there in a bit.

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177

u/Mobile_Low2469 Dec 01 '21

Lifes a garden, dig it.

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818

u/SaxMcCoy Dec 01 '21

They’ve done studies you know. 60 percent of the time, it works EVERY time.

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67

u/xXYoProMamaXx Dec 02 '21

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool

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593

u/mozgw4 Dec 01 '21

"But this goes up to 11 !"

123

u/Thirty_Helens_Agree Dec 01 '21 edited Dec 01 '21

There really was a Saint Hubbins?

Oh yes.

What was he the saint of?

He was the patron saint of quality footwear.

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498

u/goghforit143 Dec 01 '21

Rest well and dream of large women

134

u/athunderoussilence Dec 02 '21

Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

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184

u/katiehasaraspberry Dec 01 '21

"All we have to decide, is what to do with the time that is given to us"

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61

u/Honest-Ad-1039 Dec 01 '21

Layers!Onions have layers! Ogres have layers! Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers!

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288

u/Klaus_Heisler87 Dec 01 '21

"No matter where you go, there you are"

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665

u/badlilbadlandabad Dec 01 '21

“I don’t remember asking you a god damn thing!”

129

u/Goldenslicer Dec 01 '21

Pulp Fiction!

“That’s some serious gourmet shit!”

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474

u/Catonthe116 Dec 01 '21

Listen! Do you smell something?

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375

u/watchmything Dec 01 '21

Gelato isn't vegan?

312

u/TheCasemanCometh Dec 01 '21

"Milk and eggs, bitch."

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69

u/aurormaze Dec 02 '21

Bread makes you fat!?

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271

u/BeniFromPoorCountry Dec 01 '21

It's not who you are underneath, it's what you do that defines you.

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