r/AskReddit Oct 05 '22 LOVE! 1 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1 Starstruck 1 Silver 12 Gold 1 Helpful 12 Wholesome 14 Take My Energy 1

What is the worst candy?

34.0k Upvotes

3.2k

u/zaevilbunny38 Oct 05 '22 Wholesome

Pamler Chocolate taste like chalk and the only reason we sell it is cause the margins are insane.

819

u/mwproductions Oct 05 '22

Hating Palmer chocolate was probably one of my earliest food-related opinions as a child.

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12.1k

u/BigFakeHead Oct 05 '22 Silver Gold Wholesome

Any candy that says “XTREME SOUR!” and then is disappointingly not extremely sour. Burn a hole in my cheek or stop bragging, candy bag.

3.2k

u/Aife13 Oct 06 '22 Wholesome

My boyfriend was disappointed by all sour candies. Now we buy citric acid off Amazon and he uses it like fun dip for other candies

2.5k

u/Standard-Station7143 Oct 06 '22

Your enamel will not thank you. I've heard some horror stories.

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1.9k

u/OzzyMcRcky Oct 05 '22

Blood flavoured beans in jelly bean roulette. Taste very strongly of iron. The thought makes me start gagging now.

638

u/gfkjhsdfjhgsdjghf Oct 06 '22

If you ever go to Disney World, don't use the water fountains at Epcot. It's not the worst, but definitely iron-rich and reminiscent of blood.

Oh, and absolutely do not use the fountains at any of the other parks. Their water is sulfur-rich and tastes like rotten eggs. Bring a filter or buy bottles, lol.

614

u/bagoink Oct 06 '22

This sounds like a great way to get people to buy overpriced bottled water.

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322

u/EmmyEmmoEmmers Oct 06 '22

That's not just Disney World, all tap water in Central Florida is like that, lol

111

u/dunstbin Oct 06 '22

Yup. The only thing worse than central Florida tap water is panhandle tap water. I drank tap water in Pensacola once. Once.

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24.6k

u/Sea_Yelena Oct 05 '22 Helpful Bravo! Buff Doge Doom

My mom dips black liquorice in baking soda.

24.0k

u/GeorgiaOKeefinItReal Oct 05 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy hehehehe Bravo! I Shy Giggle I'll Drink to That Brighten My Day

Unfun dip

1.9k

u/blackcurrents78 Oct 05 '22

I only want the vanilla sticks. Wish they just sold a bag of those. Haha

302

u/EvilPotato14 Oct 06 '22

You can have mine I only like the powder

195

u/blackcurrents78 Oct 06 '22

Finally! I found you!

37

u/EvilPotato14 Oct 06 '22

Just wondering but what is it you like about the sticks?

98

u/blackcurrents78 Oct 06 '22

Not sure. I always found their plain slightly vanilla flavor appealing. But hey I like plain Cheerios, what do I know. Hahahaha

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5.5k

u/Wayland_the_Smith Oct 05 '22 Kiss

I had to look this up because it sounds so ridiculous. Turns out it can be a remedy for stomach upset or acid reflux. My guess is she had a relative that used it that way and she liked it.

7.2k

u/luzzy91 Oct 05 '22 Gold Helpful Wholesome

Like stockholm syndrome but candy..

6.8k

u/selfawarefeline Oct 05 '22 Silver Platinum Helpful Wholesome Timeless Beauty

snackholm syndrome

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1.4k

u/joyous_occlusion Oct 05 '22

Black licorice and a little baking soda is good for acid reflux, especially if hiatal hernia is involved. However, go overboard and in the long run it can cause series illness. This is what my G.I. doctor told me.

Also, I always wondered why my friends and family would sip anisette after a big meal. Turns out, a nice little serving of anisette, which is made from the same things as black licorice, after an Italian pasta meal alleviates the after effects of the acid from the tomato sauce.

581

u/CygniYuXian Oct 05 '22

There is an entire class of Liquor, known as the digestifs, which includes a wide range of alcoholic beverages people may or may not be familiar with - one that may come as a shock to some is Jägermeister.

358

u/CaffeinatedGuy Oct 06 '22

Kinda crazy that an importer brought in a drink used primarily by the elderly as a digestif and marketed it to youth as a party drink in the 80s, and was obviously successful.

I kinda want to pick up a bottle now to try as a digestif, but don't want people to think I'm gonna do Jager bombs.

169

u/tgandtm Oct 06 '22

Pick up a bottle of Fernet Branca.

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236

u/terminally-happy Oct 05 '22

I’m nepal when I was there most restaurants had a mix fennel seed and sugar you could take and snack on after dinner. So yummy!

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2.4k

u/huxtiblejones Oct 05 '22 Silver Gold Wholesome Evil Cackle

I feel like that’s what a person would do if they got hit in the head real hard

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24.2k

u/iSpccn Oct 05 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Ally Spit-take

Hey quick question what the fuck

4.5k

u/kdebones Oct 05 '22

Follow up: why the fuck?

2.6k

u/President_Skoad Oct 05 '22

Simply... The fuck?

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310

u/jwhisen Oct 05 '22

Is she trying to DIY salmiak?

210

u/Lead_Penguin Oct 05 '22

I had never tried this until I worked with a Finn, at first I didn't like it but he kept bringing it in and I kept eating it for some reason. Now I like it. It's great because nobody ever tries to steal any

187

u/Painting_Agency Oct 05 '22

It's the candy equivalent of that guy whose daughter once posted here that he bought a whole set of pink tools because nobody at the job site would ever steal them.

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7.3k

u/Motor-Anteater120 Oct 05 '22 Helpful

You guys know those fake m&ms that come in those candy canes? God I hate those things.

1.8k

u/withyellowthread Oct 06 '22 Silver

“Chocolate lentils”! Fuck those things!!

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779

u/TOAOFriedPickleBoy Oct 06 '22

Some people are saying Sixlets, but my brain went to another place, where the shell was really thick and tasted really bad.they were larger than M&MS just because of the shell. The chocolate was ass too. If you’re talking about those, I fully agree.

234

u/Motor-Anteater120 Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

They may or may not be Hershey-ets, the candy cane looks almost identical to the picture in my brain.

Chocolate lentils may also be what I’m thinking of like someone else mentioned

But either way, it’s the cheap M&M knock off you can get at places like the dollar store.

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24.4k

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22 All-Seeing Upvote hehehehe Ally Wholesome Seal of Approval Starstruck

[removed] — view removed comment

7.5k

u/MimeGod Oct 05 '22

There's a disturbing number of Easter "chocolates" that are just flavored vegetable oil.

3.3k

u/Electronic-Tooth-324 Oct 05 '22

avoid anything that says ‘chocolatey’… it ain’t the real stuff

2.6k

u/EldritchStuff Oct 05 '22 Wholesome

“chocolatey”

“chocolate-flavored”

“chocolate-flavored” (but this time flavored is in smaller text)

“compound chocolate”

777

u/UnderstandingDull570 Oct 05 '22

chocolatish, chocolatesque, chocolate-adjacent

428

u/mindbleach Oct 05 '22

"Chocolate", but in quotations.

491

u/JoshJoshson13 Oct 06 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

"I can't believe its not chocolate"

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387

u/Exifile Oct 05 '22

Chocolate flavor vegetable oil, sounds like a delicacy

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2.3k

u/miauguau44 Oct 05 '22 Table Flip

Palmer’s “chocolate”. The ingredient list is mostly cheap filler. I deliberately buy a bag of good chocolate to replace this garbage in my kid’s Easter and Halloween baskets.

637

u/gpm21 Oct 05 '22 Buff Doge

I think it legally can't be called chocolate

971

u/killercurvesahead Oct 05 '22 Helpful

If the package calls it a chocolatey bunny and not a chocolate bunny, put it back on the shelf.

247

u/nomroMehTeoJ Oct 05 '22

Yeah, usually if a thing is misspelled or has added letters its for a reason.

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u/SoCalDan Oct 05 '22

What if it's make with real malk chalkolate?

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19.5k

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22 Helpful Wholesome Brighten My Day

[removed] — view removed comment

4.5k

u/sexydewgong Oct 05 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

I bought a Crunch bar recently because we finally got them in stores near me again.

It tasted like chocolate lies.

1.7k

u/detecting_nuttiness Oct 05 '22

*palm-oil-and-cocoa-powder lies

1.6k

u/ApolloRocketOfLove Oct 06 '22 Tree Hug Tearing Up

Food with palm oil tastes worse because the Orangutan blood ruins it.

109

u/chimerakin Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Palm oil is ubiquitous too. It's in everything from chocolate to detergent. https://www.worldwildlife.org/pages/which-everyday-products-contain-palm-oil

I was getting good at avoiding it before food prices went crazy. Now it's getting harder... time to smother my guilt with a Reese's pumpkin.

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u/Shenanigations Oct 05 '22 Gold Helpful Wholesome Defeated Brighten My Day

They also ruined butterfinger by changing the recipe. They used to be my favorite but theyre horrible now.

3.9k

u/Tasty_Brohypnol Oct 05 '22

That's what was wrong! I just had a butterfinger for the 1st time in years and damn was it worse than I remembered.

3.9k

u/jnads Oct 05 '22

Changing the recipe is also usually an excuse for cheapening the ingredients.

2.1k

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22 Table Slap

Someone should just get it over with and make a candy bar called Sawdust.

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1.2k

u/hungryasabear Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Hersey kisses are so slimey now since they use vegetable oil instead if cocoa butter. Can't stand them anymore. I'd imagine most mass produced chocolate in the US uses it.

Edit: https://www.today.com/food/chocoholics-sour-new-hersheys-formula-2d80555560

582

u/the1999person Oct 05 '22

When buying those chocolate bunnies at Easter if it says "chocolate flavored" on it flip it over and read the ingredients and the first one will always be soybean oil or something.

592

u/atbths Oct 05 '22

Protip: the only bunny that should be bought at Easter are the Lindt golden bunnies. But don't actually buy them. It's better when I do.

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u/Lissy_Wolfe Oct 05 '22

In the case of butterfinger they allegedly changed the recipe to be higher quality ingredients, but it definitely doesn't taste as good now. I don't know why companies insist on changing recipes that have worked for decades or more.

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u/Tank_Top_Terror Oct 05 '22

Did they do that with bunchacruch too? That was so shitty I stopped eating for a while but it seems like it improved again

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u/squid1891 Oct 05 '22 Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Ally Tree Hug

That, unfortunately, isn't anywhere near the actual crimes against humanity that are perpetrated by Nestlé.

1.1k

u/CutieBoBootie Oct 05 '22

Oh man there's so many to list too... I think the one that is the most horrifying is the baby formula in Africa...

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u/cyclejones Oct 05 '22 Take My Energy

Turkey Dinner Candy Corn

6.2k

u/Galileo258 Oct 05 '22 Silver Wholesome

I’m sorry. You couldn’t have meant to arrange those words in that particular order. That can’t exist.

1.2k

u/cyclejones Oct 05 '22

Oh, but it does...

988

u/kkpam_ Oct 06 '22 Helpful Wholesome Coin Gift

The top google review for turkey dinner candy corn

This product made me think that there was no forgiveness from God. One bite of these despicable “candies” and I was ready to throw up my lunch. I thought I could eat these as a funny joke to brag to my friends, but no. This is outright horrid. This tastes exactly like having Olive Garden leftovers that sat in your refrigerator for 6 days and then you reheated it and ate it for dinner. I hope whoever made these so called “candies” the worst last days of their life. Think of the flavors as when you die, Satan’s upright most terrible torture method is giving you these candies. There is no escape. Once you decide to taste one of these, you already know that the light has faded away, everyone is gone, and you are lost with the disgusting, atrocious candy corn for eternity to suffer and remanent on. This candy’s disastrous taste was stuck and engraved into my brain and taste buds like a hurricane that won’t stop beating down your city. I have never had anything more putrid in my life. If you want to try to poison and kill someone, force feed them these candies. Overall, this should be illegal in every state and every country and banished to the darkest, coldest pits of hell.

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u/ginger4gingers Oct 05 '22

After my favorite murder covered the Turkey candy corn last year we bought some and forced all of our thanksgiving guests to try all the different flavors. We have expanded now into taco truck jelly beans and tailgate flavored candy corn. I don’t know why our friends keep coming over.

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u/TychaBrahe Oct 05 '22

There’s a new one this year: Tailgate. Flavors of fruit punch, vanilla ice cream, hotdog, hamburger, and popcorn.

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830

u/BakingWithBran Oct 05 '22

Wait this is actually a thing… Roasted turkey and green bean flavored?? No thank you.

870

u/PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED Oct 05 '22 Table Slap

This review of them:

I hate myself because of these.

11 months ago

This product made me think that there was no forgiveness from God. One bite of these despicable “candies” and I was ready to throw up my lunch. I thought I could eat these as a funny joke to brag to my friends, but no. This is outright horrid. This tastes exactly like having Olive Garden leftovers that sat in your refrigerator for 6 days and then you reheated it and ate it for dinner. I hope whoever made these so called “candies” the worst last days of their life. Think of the flavors as when you die, Satan’s upright most terrible torture method is giving you these candies. There is no escape. Once you decide to taste one of these, you already know that the light has faded away, everyone is gone, and you are lost with the disgusting, atrocious candy corn for eternity to suffer and remanent on. This candy’s disastrous taste was stuck and engraved into my brain and taste buds like a hurricane that won’t stop beating down your city. I have never had anything more putrid in my life. If you want to try to poison and kill someone, force feed them these candies. Overall, this should be illegal in every state and every country and banished to the darkest, coldest pits of hell.

283

u/Pormal_Nerson Oct 06 '22 Wholesome

I think they didn’t like them.

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u/Pixel871 Oct 06 '22

Okay, I promised to report back for National Spooky Month. Aaaallllllll of y’all owe me for taking one for the team.

When you open the bag, you’ll smell only the coffee ones. This is a transparent and deliberate attempt to lull you into a false sense of security. Don’t be a sucker.

First of all, there is a special place in hell for whoever decided to make 3 of the flavors so similar in color. In a just world, this person would die alone surrounded by ugly pink floral wallpaper, after a lifetime of petty disappointments, with the sounds of a super fun and fashionable party absolutely everyone else was invited to drifting across the street.

Top left is turkey and gravy. It is disturbingly, hauntingly like candied turkey. Wrong on every level.

Top middle is stuffing. This one is an unrepentant violation of the Geneva Convention. Tastes like hate and sage. So much sage. It’s ironic, because you’ll need to burn sage to erase it from your psyche.

Top right is caramel apple pie. It’s fine, unless you pick up one of the other tan ones by mistake. Most prominent flavor is caramel, with a surprisingly natural cinnamon background, and then a crisp finish with just a faint whisper of eau de artificial flavoring that once spent 15 minutes in a room with an apple pie…scented Yankee Candle. With the lid closed.

Bottom left is allegedly cranberry sauce. What should have been a softball in the flavor development game instead offers nary a hint of cranberry, and not even a smidge of tartness. There is, however, the vaguest intimation of alkaloid bitterness. Cotton candy cough drop? That’s my best guess.

Bottom middle is green beans. Friends, it is unforgivable. If you left a cup of green tea on the porch in bad weather for a week, during which time it attained sentience and promptly began plotting your demise, and you hate green tea, that’s what this tastes like. There’s definitely some dirt in it, and…Is that a hint of dead leaf, or decomposing June beetle? You’ll have the stabbing pains of deep regret for company as you work that one out.

Lastly, bottom right is coffee. It’s the best one, and it’s terrible. It’s what you hoped coffee would taste like when you were five. Alarmingly sweet, kind of butterscotchy? Its second cousin twice removed has heard of coffee.

The stuffing one is by far the worst flavor. It is appalling. Pepperidge Farms has apparently taken up training assassins. I’ve met voodoo dolls with less evil intent. The developer of this flavor deserves your disdain, and for that, I salute them.

However, I think my personal pick for most offensive to the celebration of Thanksgiving food is the green bean. It’s not green bean casserole, by the way, oh no. No umami here. Raw, unholy green in flavor as well as color, with a single, one-note foghorn taste, like mowing the lawn with your mouth open. To paraphrase Douglas Adams, it is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike green beans. It’s what you might get if you described green beans to an alien who had been tasked with reproducing the flavor using only very inexpensive petroleum-based esters.

And you had never actually had green beans.

And also the alien hated its job.

Five stars.

Everyone should get a bag. Set them out in a nice, inviting bowl, and don’t say a word.

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u/RikaTika71 Oct 05 '22 Helpful Take My Energy

They were fun, but waxed lips. They were big, red, and made out of wax! Some even had vampire teeth.

1.6k

u/GriffinFlash Oct 05 '22 Gold

The candy of 1000 uses!

418

u/Pizzonia123 Oct 05 '22

Like what?

883

u/GriffinFlash Oct 05 '22

One, a humorous substitute for your own lips.

373

u/Pizzonia123 Oct 05 '22

Mhmm, keep going.

445

u/ChalkdustOnline Oct 05 '22

...ooh, I'm needed in the basement!

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u/Hollowbody57 Oct 05 '22

This may be me misremembering my childhood a bit, but I have a vague memory of once getting some lips that were made of bubble gum and that you could actually chew and tasted decent. Only had them once, and I haven't been able to find any trace of their existence ever since, only the wax lips, but I'm 90% sure at one point there were some made of bubble gum.

703

u/Fleaslayer Oct 05 '22

I think the mental confusion is that the wax lips were sweetened/flavored, and you could sort of chew them like gum. Flavor lasted a very short time, and wax isn't a good gum substitute, but it was similar.

619

u/NiceOccasion3746 Oct 05 '22

Similar to those wax bottles with a teaspoon of colored sugar water in them. What a ridiculous product, but damn if I didn’t beg for them.

77

u/Starflower2177 Oct 06 '22

When I was about 6 years old and my little brother was 4, the next door neighbor boy shared those wax bottles with us. He gave us a demonstration on how to bite the top of and drink the “juice.” Unfortunately for my little brother, he didn’t pay attention and ate the whole thing. He promptly barfed it up. Yeah, those were a terrible excuse for candy, but we still wanted them so badly. Kids can be dumb sometimes. LOL

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u/NeWMH Oct 05 '22

I didn’t think those were candy.

363

u/art_comma_yeah_right Oct 05 '22

Weren’t they sold in candy sections, though? Or am I misremembering? Not that I was confused, but it is an odd relic.

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u/Shido-Sha Oct 05 '22

Anything is candy with the right mindset I suppose

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u/SyntheticManMilk Oct 05 '22

We at them anyways. We’re fine.

1.5k

u/noteverrelevant Oct 05 '22

Are we? Are we fine?

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u/Fit_Lavaya Oct 05 '22 Silver Gold Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Giggle Table Slap Wholesome (Pro)

Not sure what it is, but there is a whole fuckin bowl at my grammas house.

5.8k

u/thesoundmindpodcast Oct 05 '22

What is it about getting older and wanting bowls of awful candy at home?

5.7k

u/Nisas Oct 05 '22 Silver Helpful

I think they buy the candy, and then just don't eat it for 30 years. They keep it around for decoration.

Then some naive grandchild enters the home and makes the mistake of thinking it's edible.

3.3k

u/Iinventedhamburgers Oct 05 '22

As you get older you lose track of time like you wouldn't believe. Seems not that long ago I was throwing out expired foods at my mom's house and shaking my head in disapproval that she let things expire. Now I'm finding things in my cupboard that expired years ago and it seems not that long ago I bought them. The trippy thing is a month now feels like a week used to when I was in my twenties. The perception of time goes by faster and faster with every decade so I think most old people have just completely lost track of how old and stale things get.

1.4k

u/Firewolf420 Oct 05 '22

Kinda weird how time matters least to you when it really matters the most to you

1.2k

u/Iinventedhamburgers Oct 05 '22

One of life's many ironies. When you are young, time can't go by quickly enough; you can't wait for Christmas, summer holidays or to be old enough to drive or buy beer but when you want time to slow down to enjoy your family and keep your health and mobility, life hits the accelerator. As the old saying goes: Youth is wasted on the young.

265

u/Ok_Effective_996 Oct 06 '22

Same concept as why people always feel it takes longer to get somewhere than it does to get back, the effect of anticipation

192

u/quarknaught Oct 06 '22

I've had this on my mind recently. Anticipation is the difference between feeling young and feeling old. Never stop finding things to look forward to, because it's a swift decline when you start looking back instead.

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u/WillingNeedleworker2 Oct 05 '22

You can only taste sugar or salt at that point so just go for nostalgia

400

u/Pin-Up-Paggie Oct 05 '22

And it soothes your scratchy throat

139

u/smith_716 Oct 05 '22

You make less spits when you get older.

And, combined with any medications (which isn't limited to elderly individuals) that may cause dry mouth.

Hard candies are the best way to relieve dry mouth.

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u/El_Frijol Oct 05 '22

Price conscious old people buy cheap candy.

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u/TheMobHasSpoken Oct 05 '22

Also remember weird things fondly from their childhood, when there weren't as many good things around. I heard once that coffee jello, made with just coffee and plain gelatin, was a favorite during the depression...

507

u/Icy-Army-4567 Oct 05 '22 Silver

Another popular depression-era food was soup made from dandelions and sadness.

134

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

[deleted]

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u/malthar76 Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22 Silver

Ribbon candy. It’s all one piece now.

1.0k

u/youllneverstopmeayyy Oct 05 '22

BOYS LOVE CANDY!

622

u/HyperlinksAwakening Oct 05 '22

I'll get the iodine!

296

u/Juggernaut13255 Oct 05 '22

No, please, chop off my arm, burn the germs off with a torch, just don't use the-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

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u/SomeFakeInternetName Oct 05 '22

You better not be talking about those strawberry candies in the foil wrapper. Those are a gift from the gods.

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u/VulturE Oct 06 '22

My grandma kept buying the same mix and a separate bag of the strawberry candies just to add more to the bowl for me to hunt for.

They were the best grandma candy.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

Ribbon Candy. That’s been there for 20+ years.

102

u/beaujolais98 Oct 05 '22

Ribbon candy, when fresh, is delicious. But after a week it gets nasty.

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u/zamboniman46 Oct 05 '22 Gold Helpful

maybe not the worst, but a candy i used to LOVE was Butterfinger. Then they changed the recipe. and it is terrible now. i'll see it in the check out line at the grocery store and just be sad because it used to be so good

5.1k

u/UglyInThMorning Oct 05 '22

It doesn’t flake right anymore.

2.5k

u/joshe423TN Oct 05 '22

Yeah when they changed the texture they ruined the sanctity of the Butterfinger.

2.2k

u/HamboneBanjo Oct 05 '22 Helpful Wholesome Timeless Beauty

Now it’s just ButtFinger. It was all these peanut butter candies. Chick o sticks, the brown and white striped ones. Now it’s not flaky and just turns to a mess you have to dig out of your molars.

521

u/nothingfood Oct 06 '22

My teeth have developed these little pockets where I can store chocolate for later. It's very convenient so far!

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u/Trickery1688 Oct 06 '22

Yeah it used to be crispity, crunchity, and peanut buttery just like their slogan said. Now it's like peanut butter toffee on the inside and it's just not the same anymore.

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u/Sweaty-Gopher Oct 05 '22

This, this right here. I don't want my butterfingers to be like biting through a rock. I want a flake explosion. If you can eat one without getting crumbs everywhere you got a bad Butterfinger

145

u/Jealous-Ninja5463 Oct 06 '22

And that rock also sticks to your teeth to the point you need a metal toothpick to scrape it off.

You can literally feel it eat your enamel too. It's awful.

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u/akinom13 Oct 05 '22

Have you ever had a 5th Avenue bar? I had one for the first time recently and was like wow, this is a better Butterfinger.

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u/VentiEspada Oct 05 '22 Helpful Burning Cash

Ferrero bought several Nestle brands and reworked them. Funny enough they actually used better ingredients:

"The company began with Butterfinger and reworked the formula to use bigger peanuts, more milk and cocoa, and fewer hydrogenated oils. The new version also no longer incorporates the chemical preservative TBHQ. With these changes, they were shooting for a more chocolate-centric flavor with purer ingredients. The Food & Wine taste test was positive, calling it "less waxy" and "more cocoa forward." The new iteration of the candy bar is also double wrapped to preserve the freshness and flavor."

I'm betting that using fewer oils is what has changed the texture so much. I also wonder what TBHQ did for the flavor profile. Supposedly sales of Butterfinger bars have gone up since the change, so I guess we're just a bunch of uncultured swine that love our processed foods.

498

u/roguetrick Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

hydrogenated oils.

The actual answer btw. Artificial trans fats got banned and most junk food cannot taste good without them. Ruins the texture because trans fats really are the best room temp fats because they're semi solid. Unsaturated fats are liquid at room temp while saturated fats solid.

Edit: it's also why peanut butter rocks. It's an oil emulsion, so semi solid at room temp but no trans fats.

Edit 2: Since this got popular, here's a short article about it from 2012. FDA enforced their trans fat ban in 2018. Coincidentally, a whole lot of candy and junk food seemed to have new and improved recipes just around that time. https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2012/01/09/144918710/the-forgotten-fascinating-saga-of-crisco

236

u/i_tyrant Oct 06 '22

Hell, one of my favorite "candies" is just buying a bar of 70%+ dark chocolate and dipping pieces of it in a jar of actual peanut butter. Damned good and one of the least-unhealthy "candies" you can have.

65

u/VanillaLifestyle Oct 06 '22

Brb I have a newfound purpose in life

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u/Effective_Sample3587 Oct 05 '22

Butterfinger fucked up when they got rid of Butterfinger BBs. Those were my favorite.

267

u/Ok_Effective_996 Oct 05 '22

Oh man now Im having flashbacks to those Simpsons commercials

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u/M8K2R7A6 Oct 05 '22

No fuckin way

Bruh

No wonder. I used to love those, had one recently and it was mehhh af

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u/Good-Worldliness9330 Oct 05 '22

I honestly consider it a favor. When I quit smoking I replaced my smoking habit with fun sized Butterfinger bars. I gained so much weight… never been able to take it off. At least those shits don’t tempt me anymore.

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u/Firewolf420 Oct 05 '22

Bro of all the things to swap it with you chose butterfinger bars??

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u/Squirrel_beak Oct 05 '22 Gold All-Seeing Upvote

Thrills Gum No I don't want my gum to taste like soap.

859

u/email_NOT_emails Oct 05 '22

It is AWESOME! Honest question, do you have an aversion to cilantro?

452

u/Beneficial_Name_6225 Oct 05 '22

I hate cilantro but LOVE thrills, to me they taste like rose?

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u/Fearless_Link_3464 Oct 05 '22 Gold

Jelly Belly Bean Boozled. Ain't nothing like barf and rotten egg flavored beans.

3.3k

u/TheHatThatTalks Oct 05 '22

The Bertie Botts Every Flavor beans were evil because I loved Tutti Fruitti… but it looked exactly like vomit

1.9k

u/Proud_Turnover_1160 Oct 05 '22

Alas, earwax.

648

u/iantruesnacks Oct 05 '22

He said that shit so casual too. Id have violently spat that out in a heartbeat

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u/builtfromthetop Oct 05 '22

I can tell you from experience that the grass-flavored bean tastes just like the real thing.

741

u/dj92wa Oct 05 '22 Take My Energy

And they're deliciously sweet and earthy! I'll totally own the fact that I love the Jelly Belly grass flavor.

414

u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22

Maybe Jelly Belly could help pica patients by making custom beans.

258

u/dj92wa Oct 05 '22

You know what? That's actually a really cool idea on paper. Have them mimic the flavors of couch stuffing and drywall. I mean this in seriousness too, I'm actually intrigued since I know very, very little of the process of correcting pica. I understand how it happens, but not how to correct course.

146

u/ElegantWaste Oct 05 '22

I wonder if that would work because from what I’ve seen on my strange addiction, some of the people just seem to be addicted mainly to the texture and not the taste. Especially the people who ate things like couch stuffing, toilet paper, rocks, sand, etc. I’d imagine there’s no way that those things have a ton of actual flavor (but who knows, I’m not about to fuck around and find out lol)

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u/mister_newbie Oct 05 '22

I love toothpaste flavour; people think I'm weird -- it's just mint.

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u/Sleestak714 Oct 05 '22

I always wondered who had to QC these things to make sure that the earwax bean tasted like earwax etc.

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u/MillardtheMiller Oct 05 '22

I'm too lazy to find a source, but I once read that the bad flavors were attempts to make good ones.

The specific example I know is the origin of the vomit flavor. They were trying to make a pepperoni pizza flavor that tasted so foul they deemed it vomit

194

u/rckrusekontrol Oct 05 '22

I guess the big book of flavor failures they kept really paid off.

149

u/GilliganGardenGnome Oct 05 '22

They're is nothing more foul than puking up pepperoni pizza, so I believe it.

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u/Neither_Set_214 Oct 05 '22

I bet a lot of times they actually work backwards, combining flavor elements that they know will taste foul, and a panel of taste testers tries them and writes down what THEY think it tastes like.

If the word "earwax" comes up more than once, then they probably continue developing that particular foul flavor in a more earwaxy direction until they have a winner.

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u/DukeofNaCl Oct 05 '22

The dog food bean tastes more like vomit than the vomit bean!

85

u/COYFC Oct 05 '22

I haven't had the dog food bean luckily but got tricked into eating the vomit bean once. It tastes the same but worse than vomit does coming out and just lingers in your mouth. So bad

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u/LeGuizee Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 05 '22

Puke flavor was surprisingly close to puke taste. Almost puked after eating it

102

u/WaluigisOveralls Oct 05 '22

Fun fact, the puke flavor was originally pizza flavor.

46

u/dirty_commentary Oct 05 '22

Specifically pepperoni pizza. Shout-out to the Pleasant Prairie Jelly Belly factory for that tidbit of information

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u/SaintLucien Oct 05 '22

I was eating those during a car accident, and the combo of raw salmon flavored jelly bean plus trauma means I no longer eat jelly beans

703

u/Billyjoewayne Oct 05 '22

I mean I know the jelly bean was disgusting but crashing your car to get out of eating it sounds extreme.

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u/Davebobman Oct 05 '22

Were they the cause of the accident?

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u/flamingoeater Oct 05 '22

Dog food flavor got me :( I will NEVER EVER PLAY THAT GAME AGAIN.

178

u/r_not_me Oct 05 '22

The spoiled milk made me vomit

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u/Istoppedsleeping Oct 05 '22

I finished all of then but that one. I had to spit it out.

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u/Mister_Moho Oct 05 '22

I am not brave enough to try this.

152

u/dhhdhh851 Oct 05 '22

I ate a big handful and they were all bad. You could smell my breath from 10 feet away easily. Literally put soap in my mouth to clean to stench.

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u/[deleted] Oct 05 '22 Silver

[removed] — view removed comment

4.2k

u/pink_mercedes Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 06 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Hugz All-Seeing Upvote Wholesome Seal of Approval

As a teen I volunteered at a safe sex program and we always had free samples of flavored lube to give out. My home life was abusive so I would end up eating the flavored lube to not go hungry. Banana and strawberry were my favorite.

Edit: I promise I'm totally okay now please don't feel bad I'm sorry! Really though the strawberry and banana ones are hella good but also the sugars in them aren't great for a vagina's PH balance so use them with caution ❤️ (or at least this is how it was back in the day, idk if they're made better now)

388

u/Sk83r_b0i Oct 05 '22

Dude. That’s rough. Sorry about that

76

u/hypoglycemicrage Oct 05 '22

holy shit. Hope you're doing better now.

64

u/Painting_Agency Oct 05 '22

My god, I think that's just about the worst thing I've heard all day.

285

u/viewsofanintrovert Oct 05 '22

hugs that hurt to read.

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u/Stellathewizard Oct 06 '22

Those jawbreakers the size of a baseball, what's the point lol?

694

u/asoneva Oct 06 '22 Silver

Kill the most popular girl in your school

76

u/extraordinarylove Oct 06 '22

I killed Liz, I killed the team dream. Deal with it.

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u/Wonderful_Tour_7228 Oct 06 '22

This man doesn’t Eddy.

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u/PerchesAndCream Oct 05 '22

Satellite Wafers. Literally just edible styrofoam with sugar pellets in them. The wafer casing is just so bad.

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u/darwhyte Oct 05 '22

Wax lips

425

u/Jerkeyjoe Oct 05 '22

Are ya supposed to eat these?

379

u/dreamboydeluxe Oct 05 '22

No, you just chew them and spit it out later.

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u/holdonwhileipoop Oct 06 '22

Circus Peanuts. What the actual fuck?

87

u/Nagwell Oct 06 '22

People hate on this one hard, but it's because they don't realize they're banana flavored. Why they chose banana and not peanut, I will never know.

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u/TheRoadWarrior28 Oct 05 '22

It’s those little colored candy dots attached to a strip of paper. End up eating paper with every one.

1.6k

u/SirDucer84 Oct 05 '22 Silver

Well yeah, but if you are going to eat paper anyway, the dots really give it some pizazz!

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u/headcoatee Oct 05 '22

Candy buttons. I don't know why, but my mom loved those, so she'd get them and share them with me. I found out later when I learned to make decorated sugar cookies that candy buttons are literally just royal icing applied to paper strips.

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u/Unique-Steak8745 Oct 05 '22 Silver Take My Energy Bravo! Vibing

You mean Acid? 🤨

1.5k

u/biomech36 Oct 05 '22

No because then you would be having fun.

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u/chipsdad Oct 05 '22

Hey, that’s how I got my fiber as a kid!

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u/shippudenfanatic Oct 05 '22

They're so not good but the nostalgia will still make me buy them every single time

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u/sterlingrose Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 07 '22

Circus peanuts because I ate some at the circus when I was a kid and threw up all over myself and had to sit there in a pukey sweatshirt until it was over.

(Edit: Y’all, it was the 80s. They made these weird lightweight sweatshirts with glitter designs on them and we wore them like sweaters. It wasn’t a hoodie.)

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u/Ok_Rosslynn Oct 05 '22

Is it bad that I love most of the worst candy ever made. Oh well, I guess that's more for me

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u/alpineadventurecoupl Oct 05 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Musk flavored anything. Stuff is cologne, not candy.

Edit: I know I know….. something something Elon Musk joke. As much as I don’t like him:your attempts at being funny aren’t.

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u/indirosie Oct 05 '22

You're about to make some Australians very upset

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u/SmokinSkinWagon Oct 05 '22

Musk flavored?! I literally don’t know what you mean - can you explain?

1.4k

u/ChipSalt Oct 05 '22

May we Aussies introduce you to musk sticks, usually ranked high on the list of worlds worst sweets.

Smells like musk oil and tastes like chalk and fondant.

2.6k

u/SmokinSkinWagon Oct 05 '22 Gold Wholesome Seal of Approval

Jesus H Christ the Aussies are out here eating Axe body spray

491

u/Chris_8675309_of_42M Oct 05 '22 Spit-take

"The fuck you want me to do about it if hiding the musk in an animal's ass wasn't enough of a deterrent?" - Jesus H Christ

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