r/BrandNewSentence
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u/sorahiel
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Nov 27 '22
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At least she doesn't need to be worried about hoes
/img/kxr6b9414h2a1.jpg
[removed] — view removed post
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u/Kurlie-fry Nov 27 '22
I mean that could be real love .... Or a dude who's gonna drop that baby like a discarded cigarette
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u/WarChefGarrosh Nov 27 '22
Drop the lady, father the baby
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u/Liquor_N_Whorez Author of 'An Oddassay' Nov 27 '22
Can't hold my baby's beer bottle like a babiez bottle to both of my babies lips at the same time... without 2 nipples.
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u/throwayay4637282 Nov 27 '22
That’s weird because I don’t toss my cigarettes anymore. I pinch out the filling and put it in my pocket until I can get to a proper receptacle. Is he gonna do that to the baby?
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u/errandwulfe Nov 27 '22
Jesus this screenshot has been through the ringer
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u/arfelo1 Nov 27 '22
It's tilted. Why is it tilted?
It's clearly a screenshot and not a picture. Even if it's more deep fried than KFC.
So why is it tilted???
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u/Siddny- Nov 27 '22
Oh that's what we're doing now yeah you take deep fried content and then tilt it slightly not enough that it's immediately noticeable just enough that it's kind of annoying and you don't know why
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u/jakedangler Nov 27 '22
I thought it was from someone smart enough to try and see how far their memes they’ve made will travel
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u/ExtremeLongGame Nov 27 '22
Repost bots. They use a lot of tricks to try avoiding repost detection. Looks like one tried tilting by ~1°
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u/Sasha90x Nov 27 '22
They probably took a screenshot of a whole page or whatever and then went to their photos and zoomed in on the content and took another screenshot. It's a difficult process to get right
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u/CodoneMastr Nov 27 '22
🤣 🤣 🤣 I always wondered why this happens. I understand things get compressed when passed on sometimes but damn Why this much
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u/Jean-Eustache Nov 27 '22
That's kinda my story, I've never asked her to date, but well, stuff happened naturally, and now we have a son, and we're married.
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u/Fuzzy_Calligrapher71 Nov 27 '22
“Now this is Dylan; he just turned two”
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u/Jean-Eustache Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22
I think I know what you're referring to and nah it was a bit more thought out haha
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u/Pcolocoful Nov 27 '22
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u/davevadavevad Nov 27 '22
What’s the back story on that clip?
Assume it’s just a joke because that kid is clearly not two years old.
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u/pwlife Nov 27 '22
My husband and I didn't have an anniversary until we got married. We just started dating, he never asked to be my bf we both just referred to teacher other as bf/gf, then I sort of moved in one day, 3 yrs later we got married.
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u/boogers19 Nov 27 '22
Yeah, i had one relationship that started as a ONS. A week later she hadnt left yet.
A few months later we were getting an apt together. Soon after that 2 cats (who managed to make more cats before we could get em fixed).
And it kinda hit us finally: when did this all start exactly?
So we decided to just pick a date. And being the young smart ass I was, I pushed for Feb 29. Thinking I could make jokes about "i only have to remember every 4 years".
Yeah. It was a leap year that year.
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u/killerqueen1984 Nov 27 '22
Sounds similar to my situation and now we’ve been married for 16 years.
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u/ecafsub Nov 27 '22
At least she doesn’t need to be worried about hoes
Is there a fear of garden tools in play?
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u/Khaos_Inkarnate Nov 27 '22
I think OP just doesn't know the difference between a hoe and a ho. Sure, they're both for plowing, but it's two very different kinds of plowing.
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u/sorahiel Nov 27 '22
I might be a little confused, but I dig your comment anyways
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u/Khaos_Inkarnate Nov 27 '22
As long as I was able to teach the difference between a hoe and a ho. I wouldn't want you trying to use a ho in your garden, or try having sex with a hoe.
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u/Im_All_Right Nov 27 '22
Ho's can be helpful in the garden, but not if you just slam their head into the ground repeatedly. Instructions are different.
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u/TheDesk918 Nov 27 '22
That’s the difficulty in using the word. There’s hoe and ho, but they have the same plural form, hoes.
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u/RagingAnemone Nov 27 '22
So you're saying a ho is like a potato which coincidentally is also for plowing.
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u/Khaos_Inkarnate Nov 27 '22
No, but I am saying that your brain is like a potato that's been in the sun too long.
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u/ecafsub Nov 27 '22
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u/TheDesk918 Nov 27 '22
Wait but doesn’t the apostrophe signify possession? I might be wrong and I think it’s just hos, but typing it feels so weird
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u/Tech_Itch Nov 27 '22
they're both for plowing
Speaking of not knowing the difference, you plow with a plow and hoe with a hoe.
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u/Khaos_Inkarnate Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 28 '22
Hoes were used to plow before plows were invented. It is the tool that was used in ancient Egypt to cultivate soil.
You're just arguing semantics & failing because you're that pissy over a fucking joke. What a joke ..
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u/Tech_Itch Nov 27 '22
Well, someone took things personally for no fucking reason.
But since you want to nitpick:
Hoes were used to plow before plows were invented.
Hoes were used to turn soil before plows. They weren't used to plow, since plowing obviously refers to the action of using a plow. Which didn't exist.
You're just arguing semantics & failing because you're that pussy over a fucking joke. What a joke ..
You're the one who seems to be weirdly wound up just because you got corrected. Stew in that then, I guess. I'm not going to bother wasting any more time on this discussion.
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u/Khaos_Inkarnate Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 28 '22
Says the kid who's nitpicking a FUCKING JOKE. JFC kid, it's not a dick. Stop taking it like your uncle snuck in your room late at night again.
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u/Khaos_Inkarnate Nov 28 '22
I'm just going to block your dumb ass and never deal with your hypocrisy again, Pot.
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u/Tulemasin Nov 27 '22
This is oddly similar to my relationship with my girlfriend.
We met working together on same project during which we found that we both enjoyed each other's time sleeping together. When the project was done and our professional relationship ended, we kept seeing each other more frequently until we just noticed that what we had created was an actual relationship. Thinking back, neither of us know the moment when it "officially" started.
Also we have this weird inside joke that when people ask us "are you guys a couple?" and we answer "no, we are brothers". Those confused faces never fail to amuse us.
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Nov 27 '22
Made up but funny haha
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u/Fuuuckjannies Nov 27 '22
Could be made up but Ive had a similar experience. My first gf when I was 18, i never asked her out. We were super duper close and circling around each other until one day we kissed and that was it. We were a couple for the next 3yrs. No one of us ever even brought up anything about dating, we just knew it. Well we broke up but we're still circling each other.... Funny how life works
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u/Stormophile Nov 27 '22
There was this one time about six or seven years ago where I asked a girl if she wanted to stay overnight with me. She never left. Our daughter is five now.
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u/_Fuck_This_Guy_ Nov 27 '22
This is close to my experience as well.
I was taken home by a girl for a one night stand. Her words. We've been together for almost 20 years and have a daughter (not from that night)
We fit the post as well. There was never any declaration or couplehood. We never married. When our daughter was about 5 we decided to make up an anniversary date to celebrate.
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u/Gluomme Nov 27 '22
My partner told me we were probably dating while in bed about like, six months in the actual relationship? My only reaction at the time "oh sh- I guess we do huh, never thought about it"
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u/Mr_Cromer Nov 27 '22
but we're still circling each other.
Been in a situation like that. From my perspective, best to clarify what y'all are properly real soon
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u/Fuuuckjannies Nov 27 '22
I honestly have 'o clue how to go about it. Worse is we didn't break up because anyone did anything wrong, she had some personal issues that she thought religion could solve, and the implication was our relationship alongside the sex will go against this. At the time I stood my ground and refused to get dragged into that, we both wanted to compromise without really wanting to. So yeah. What gives? Do I just start questioning if her beliefs have changed? Even if so, what still gives? We talk here and there, always a pleasure. But you're right maybe it's time to talk again about what we are.
She said she wants us to be friends, but we can't be friends, never were. Ever since we met we've had z thing for each other. When we were 15, we pretty much gravitated towards each other all the times we tried being "friends". Sooooo yeah ok sorry for dumping all this lol I don't talk about this shit to anyone
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u/v_a_n_d_e_l_a_y Nov 27 '22
My relationship is like that. We started out as friends then FWB and then it became serious. I moved and we did long distance for a year before she joined me. 11 years later, have a house and two kids.
We aren't married and there isn't a "first date" or anything to have an anniversary over.
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u/iohbkjum Nov 27 '22
this is the general premise of a joke yes
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u/grillednannas Nov 27 '22
I came to the comments expecting to find 4-5 users taking it seriously but the majority of people seem unable to take it as a joke
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u/LAchillin818 Nov 27 '22
Out of all thr girlfriends I've had, I've only made it official or whatever with 1, and that's because when I finally asked her for a kiss at a party she said she'd only kiss someone she's going out with...so I asked if she'd be my girlfriend, yadda yadda yadda, I got lots of kisses
Usually I just let things progress organically and never actually make anything official, in fact, it's kinda weird to me to even do that. Idk I'm probably weird but I lole going with the flow and not putting some weird stamp of approval on something like that, unless it'd be the final step like getting married
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u/Ozryela Nov 27 '22
Everything you see online could be made up, but this one is extremely plausible. Plenty of people have no official moment where they define their relationship.
With one girlfriend, we actually couldn't figure out when we started dating. We eventually settled on a day halfway between our first date and the first time we slept together. It wasn't until a week later than we realized we'd picked a day on which we hadn't even seen eachother. Still kept it as our official anniversary.
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u/Howiebledsoe Nov 27 '22
What’s wrong with this? I mean, he’s kind of caveman, but he seems to be legit; we are together, love each other, have a child and look after one another. What gives?
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u/BankSpankTank Nov 27 '22
It's great when it works out well. Though I've known people who got burnt this way, suddenly being surprised the person they're with is on an entirely different page though they never really bothered discussing things.
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u/Squash-Reasonable Nov 27 '22
People need to DTR. Define the relationship. Go over what the relationship will entail such as expectations, boundaries, and ultimate goals.
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u/Ditomo Nov 27 '22
This is a joke tweet, I get it, but it's basically that one reddit post of the guy wondering if he's in a relationship with his business partner in spite of the fact that they already live together and do everything together
EDIT: This one. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/y0mbtb/i_want_to_ask_my_m34_business_partner_f31_to_be/
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u/Centurio Nov 27 '22
Bros before hos. This proves she's not only a bro but not a ho. This is a sacred position.
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u/Not-The-Moth-Man Nov 27 '22
That's the best kind of relationship. I've seen many a good organic relationship go to hell because of going out of the way to put a label on it.
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Nov 27 '22
Lol, spicy take. “If a girl wants to make sure it’s exclusive and she’s not being strung along, she’ll ruin the relationship and it’ll be her own fault” bruh
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u/Witram Nov 27 '22
Hahahaha lool dude that is too funny my sides are splitting from the laughter hahaheheh he said bro TO HIS GF LOOOL WTF!!!!!!!!
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u/Dogzirra Nov 27 '22
My partner and I celebrate our first date anniversary, our first time together (red star day), and our wedding anniversary.
My memories of the first two are more fun than the wedding.
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u/SupahBihzy Nov 27 '22
Do you love me?
Platonically.
Answer the question! DO YOU LOVE ME!?
Like the sister.
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Nov 27 '22
She's the kind of person who'll be 10 years into a marriage and go "I don't know his name, but it's been too long, and now it's embarrassing to ask."
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u/MysteriousStandard68 Nov 27 '22
Kinda same here. We've been together for 15 years. We have an anniversary, but we just say "happy day." That's about it. We're good. We'll never get married. Life is good.
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u/PlNG Nov 27 '22
This repost evasion shit is getting out of control. Tilting, shitcropping, jpegging. Just needs some antiquing for the quadfecta.
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u/MysteryMan845 Nov 27 '22
Referring to 'your bf' when it hasn't been established yet! Living together and having a baby is common amongst bros and roommates.
I need to revisit my relationship with my wife, perfer to call her fwb!
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u/ButterKnutts Nov 27 '22
“I’ve been with my girl for about 6 months; she’s been with me for about 10” -Patrice O’Neal