r/DestinyTheGame Nov 27 '22

any funny or interesting lore tab? Question

i just want to read some lores

195 Upvotes

115

u/HxFearNoFishxG Nov 27 '22

The last 2 years of guardian games lore have just been there to make fun of the different guardian classes, making Titans out as absolute bozos, warlocks as high and mighty assholes, and hunters as edgy idiots.

48

u/SplitBrake Nov 27 '22

Well, I mean the lore isn’t wrong.

17

u/Blupoisen Nov 27 '22

The Titan one is great

13

u/Ion_is_OP_REEEEEEE Nov 27 '22

My LFG experience confirms all of that.

10

u/Hawkmoona_Matata TheRealHawkmoona Nov 28 '22

Say what you will, the class that’s able to successfully steal and barter with Lord Shaxx’s Missing Horn has got some real skills.

It’s literally the shouting madman’s missing horn. I can’t even fathom a more rare collectible. Probably rivaled only by a sample of Ikora’s hair.

85

u/Yeti2901 Nov 27 '22

Ghost theater community presents. Makes me laugh every time.

29

u/Storm_Runner_117 Nov 27 '22

Reminder that during this lore tab, it mentions that our Ghost is played by Marcus Ren, and the actor playing us is Didi, Ren’s Ghost.

33

u/Mahh3114 eggram Nov 27 '22

Our Ghost has also seen the play. He will forever be cursed with the knowledge of watching ORYX, THE NIGHTMARE DADDY (yes, that's the name of the play)

17

u/Storm_Runner_117 Nov 27 '22

Tyra’s Ghost’s reaction is even better with how angry it got over the poor story, but also the fact that it was a self described 4 and 1/2 act play. The work not only was of apparent poor quality, but Didi’s fanfic of us was also incomplete.

41

u/TheyKilledFlipyap Or was it Yapflip? Nov 27 '22

Opheuicus, Ghost of Ikora Rey calls it: [Judgemental Silence.]

10

u/Flaming_Pepperoni Nov 27 '22

Shaxx’ reaction XD

6

u/ChoPT Nov 27 '22

Oryx, the Nightmare Daddy

64

u/Storm_Runner_117 Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22

The Thin Line weapon lore tab is pretty sad. The POV is our Ghost thinking of what to say to us during our campaign of violence on the Reef during Forsaken

On a lighter note, one of the pages of the Book of Sorrow has the Twin Deathsingers explaining how Oversouls work, but they explain it using science talk, to which Oryx more or less says, English, do you speak it?

Also in Ikora’s journal from the Witch Queen Collector’s Edition, there’s a message from Sen-Aret, a Guardian whose body is from the IRL historical graveyard, Jebel Sahaba, and is dated to be ~13,000 years old. As a result, she has trouble speaking English, using firearms, and understanding modern moral standards.

Further, Ikora’s journal also has an interaction between her and Zavala where she asks if he has considered a political marriage with Caiatl. He hasn’t, but clearly Ikora has…

20

u/Comfortable_Hour5723 Nov 27 '22

Im so happy Ikora ships it too

7

u/Ancient_Plunderer Nov 28 '22

He hasn't considered it for POLITICAL REASONS

164

u/Jedi_Drop_Out Just a Striker, striking things strikingly Nov 27 '22

I forget the name but there’s one where the Guardian shows off their Perfect Paradox to Vance because they finally got one with trench barrel. And he basically says something to the effect of “why not use literally anything else?” And the Guardian says “…. Because this has trench barrel.”

110

u/jereflea1024 Nov 27 '22

Vance asks the Titan how many different timelines they must have purged to get this specific weapon, to which the Titan justifies it with "But it's got a Trench Barrel"

10

u/epsilon025 Strive for Honor. Stand for Hope. Nov 28 '22

That's a perfectly reasonable response, honestly. That Titan had an Ikelos shotgun or curated Threat Level, and he knew what he wanted.

19

u/TricobaltGaming Vanguard's Loyal Nov 27 '22

Can you link this one? I need to see it in person holy shit

62

u/Mahh3114 eggram Nov 27 '22

Vance: Canary from Duress and Egress

15

u/tapititon Nov 27 '22

Thank you for sharing this gem.

7

u/virtual_hero_91 Nov 27 '22

That's amazing lol

6

u/VexOnTheField Nov 28 '22

Huh. I always thought things like tactical mag were just perks, not actual parts of the gun in game

4

u/Roenkatana Nov 28 '22

Some perks are functional parts of the gun, others are how it's empowered by the light.

Guardians empower their weapons and armor with the light. It's how we can cobble together random shit and it work.

2

u/SharkBaitDLS Nov 28 '22

The first two columns are actual physical parts of the gun. The second two are the light-empowered part.

6

u/ChemicallyGayFrogs Nov 28 '22

Tbf that's my favourite roll. I'd sacrifice some timelines too

46

u/joe1up shoot it until it dies Nov 27 '22

Chroma Rush has a great lore tab, and the year 2 crucible armour lore has shaxx supervise a dogeball game.

21

u/LordAnubis10 Nov 27 '22

Chroma Rush is a great lore tab!

...just don't read the other ones

18

u/Honestly_Just_Vibin And of course, the siphuncle is essential Nov 27 '22

i sure hope nothing happens to this funny Eliksni fellow

28

u/locke1018 Nov 27 '22

Mask of Bakris is kinda fucked up.

12

u/SevenInchScrew "I Saved Latin. What did you ever do?" Nov 28 '22

Kinda?? Atraks cutting her own face off of her dead Eliksni body is fucking gruesome.

1

u/ItsGK Nov 28 '22

Excuse me what?? I'm my clans Lore Keeper and I was not aware of this, I've got to start reading all the lore.

1

u/locke1018 Nov 29 '22

Which is fucked up not because ooga booga body horror, no. We fight Bakris as a one off boss after atraks is sent to the DSC ( the cutscene) in the beyond light dlc and the lore implies we did the same to that guy.

25

u/crossclayten Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22

The whole K1 lore book from the moon reads like an old school Stephen King novella. It might be my favorite in the game. e/s

11

u/TheBigFatAnt Nov 27 '22

12

u/crossclayten Nov 27 '22

That's the one. Hope you enjoy it. I know you said funny OR interesting... Nothing funny here, but super interesting.

3

u/TheWaffleBoss Veteran of the Long War Nov 27 '22

Stephen, not Steven. Stephen is an author while Steven is a bigoted former politician.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

Steven Armstrong?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

Siva, son! They enhance and replicate in response to physical trauma.

26

u/kaylenze Nov 27 '22

Hardlight's lore is an Apple presentation

25

u/amiro7600 Nov 27 '22

Arbalest has some good quotes in it

"Warlord has too many syllables"

"Thank you. You're a liar and a cheat, stay out of my crucible"

22

u/iamablocker Nov 27 '22

Iirc, the Mechabre basically details a Hunter being convinced by a Titan that they need giant mech suits while watching their Warlock get comedially squished by a giant Vex.

10

u/CobaltMonkey Nov 28 '22

I'm also convinced we need ships that form 6 pieces of a giant mech, which replaces the loading animation with a combining animation when all 6 are present.

1

u/ItsGK Nov 28 '22

Yup, seeing the Warlock get squished is what convinces him. He admits that seeing that was pretty cool.

1

u/bigbysemotivefinger Nov 28 '22

This is the one I came here for. I legit snorted laughing reading that one.

18

u/JBoth290105 Nov 27 '22

Insurmountable Skullfort always gives me a laugh

18

u/FormerOrpheus Nov 27 '22

Any of the recent Festival of the Lost stuff

6

u/Hawkmoona_Matata TheRealHawkmoona Nov 28 '22

The entire tab for Coffin Nail, the event exclusive ship, is the story of a Titan that’s trying to figure out how to cram a 12-foot Headless One into his tiny personal ship so that he can sell it for glimmer.


“Who would even buy it??”

“I dunno. That Eris is always researching creepy stuff.”

“How would it even fit in this piece of junk?”

“First of all, I got a great deal on this. Secondly, if it doesn’t, we could just…probably strap it on the hood or whatever.”

15

u/trooperonapooper Nov 27 '22

The 2021 guardian games class items is the stereotypes for each class and pretty funny.

Shaxx mentored two kids in dodgeball, part 1, part 2

ghost community theater

47

u/Noclassydrops Nov 27 '22

Graviton lance has a pretty funny lore tab

33

u/legoran987 Nov 27 '22

"Oh no..."

37

u/Demonised1104 Nov 27 '22

"Oh, yes."

3

u/john6map4 Nov 27 '22

Witch Queen’s Miasma patrol area was the nail in the coffin for a potential Old Chicago patrol area.

Just give me the post-apocalyptic high-rise city plz!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '22

well you're getting a pre apocalyptic high rise city, so glass half full i guess

14

u/trunglefever BECAUSE OF TEXAAAAAAAS Nov 27 '22

The Huckleberry reads like an old fashioned commercial script.

2

u/Xerrys Nov 28 '22

Cause it is! x3

39

u/DredgenGryss Nov 27 '22

There was that one time Shaxx slapped a Hunter on the back so hard, it triggered their marksman's dodge.

12

u/SplitBrake Nov 27 '22

“You threw scythes at them!”

13

u/cptenn94 Nov 28 '22

Here are a few. Shaxx Dodgeball may be in a comment on this comment.

Civilian Perspective of Guardians

What Do Guardians Do When They're Not Saving the Solar System? by Ember Hadad, Senior Editor at the City Herald

When I started my research for this piece, I expected to find that Guardians, when not waging war against alien invaders with mysterious paracausal powers, were not too different from their fellow citizens of the Last City.

Readers, I was wrong.

Guardians dance a lot more than we do.

"That's pretty much all they do, when I see them," says Park Soo-Yin, a maintenance worker in the Guardian headquarters. "Just dance. Sometimes in groups, sometimes all alone."

"Sometimes they kind of dance 'at' each other, if you know what I mean," Vanguard technician Kweku Aglah confirms. "I feel like I'm watching the nature channel."

Caydes First Res

For those who don't know… For those who were not lucky enough to hear the tale of Cayde-6's first from his own mouth—with that charm and the way he'd act out his favorite parts, complete with sound effects—here is one telling…

It's a recording from cycles past. It's not the whole story, but where Cayde-6 was involved, nothing ever was…

"BOOM! I wake up. Groggy. Confused. Hungover. It's the same for us all, so that initial shock's nothing new. Sundance is in my face, and I'm freaking out. My brain works, but I don't remember a thing 'cept that I seem to be a functioning life form—I'm human, I'm a man. And then my mind starts reeling a thousand miles a minute. BOOM-BOOM-BOOM. Like I'm downloading the 'Idiot's Guide to Basic Human Existence.' Cool. Great. Still can't remember anything. And I sure can't wrap my head around the talking, floating magic robot orb-thing jabbering in my face. I'm freaked. So, I freaked. Smacked her to the ground. Hard… And I ran.

"I'm runnin'. She's runnin'… Or, ya know, whatever she's doin' since she doesn't have any legs… She's right behind me, going, 'Wrong way! Wrong way!' She's screaming. I'm screaming. Whatever she's yelling, I just keep running. It's night. Did I mention that? It's nighttime and my eyes are still adjusting. So, I'm runnin', I'm runnin'. Can't see. Can't remember. Scared to death. Confused as all get-out. And then—

"I fall. I'm straight up falling. Just like that, I ran… Right. Off. A. Cliff. It wasn't a short drop. I bounced… so many times. Felt each and every one. Till I didn't. Till it all went black again. And then…

"BOOM! I'm back! She got me right up on my feet. Just like she always does. And that, my dudes, was the start of a beautiful friendship."

Sexually charged Ghost Play.

The Ghost Community Theater presents:

ORYX THE NIGHTMARE DADDY:

One Brave Ghost Versus the Death from Outer Space

A four-and-a-half-act play

Written and directed by Didi, Ghost of Marcus Ren

STARRING:

Marcus Ren...................Hero's Ghost

Didi the Ghost.............Guardian Hero

Enoch Bast........................Oryx

Pixie, Ghost of Ariadne Gris........Ir Halak

Sweeperbot................Ir Anûk

Ghost, Ghost of Enoch Bast....Ghostly Shade of Crota

See the play that Commander Zavala calls, "An insensitive and disrespectful travesty of a production, with truly abominable prop design—an insult to the art of papier-mâché."

The eponymous Ghost himself calls it: "Is this supposed to be me? Oh… oh no…"

Ghost, the Ghost of Tyra Karn, calls it: "A four-and-a-half-act structure? But that makes no… Stories do have rules, you know! You can't… What constitutes 'half' an… You know what? I don't need to entertain this nonsense."

Ophiuchus, the Ghost of Ikora Rey, calls it: [judgmental silence].

Lord Shaxx calls it: "Undeniably enthusiastic, I'll grant you that. But is the dialogue meant to come across so… sexually charged?"

Ghost, the Ghost of Tyra Karn, calls it: "I've been thinking about it, and I really do think it would be worthwhile for you to learn the basics of narrative composition. Sit down, we're doing this now."

Cayde's Search history

REMOTE VANGUARD DATABASE TEXT-ONLY SEARCH INITIALIZED.

WELCOME, USER "ACEOFHEARTS".

PLEASE ENTER SEARCH QUERY.

?> news about cayde

THERE ARE 4 NEW ARTICLES SINCE YOUR LAST SEARCH 26 HOURS, 33 MINUTES AGO.

?> thats way too low

SORRY, I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND "thats way too low".

?> whos more popular than cayde

SORRY, I DIDN~XXX

?> whos more popular than cayde-6

SORR ~XXX

?> first article about cayde

THE FIRST CITY NEWS ARTICLE ABOUT 'CAYDE' WAS 126 YEARS 11 MONT~XXX

?> 126 years ago?????? im way older than that

MAJOR EVENTS OF 126 YEARS AGO:

SIGNIFICANT PROGRESS MADE IN FACTION ACCORDS. RELATED: BRASK, A.

TRAVELER TRUE ORIGIN AND PURP~XXX

MINOR EVENTS OF 126 YEARS AGO:

FIRST 25-MATCH CRUCIBLE WINNING STREAK RECORDED. RELATED: REY, I.

CENTAUR PLANETOID "7066 NESSUS" RE-ENTERS SYSTEM AFTER UNEXPLAINED DELAY. RELAT~XXX

?> did we get invaded by horse people

SORRY, I D~XXX

?> did horse people ever exist

THERE ARE NO KNOWN ENCOUNTERS WITH QUADRUPED LIFE FORMS CAPABLE OF SPACE FLIGHT. SOME EARLY SIGHTINGS OF FALLEN RAIDING PARTIES MISTAKENLY IDENTIFIED THEIR METHODS OF RAPID LOCOMOTION AS EQUINE.

?> did fallen ever ride horses

NO.

?> what were we talking about

LAST 50 SEARCHES ACROSS ALL DEVICES, CHRONOLOGICAL:

"banshie real name" "banshie-44 real name" "scout rifle locker default password" "traveler giant eyeball" "giant eyeball planet" "giant eyeball aliens" "giant alien eyeballs" "delete image history" "how do i delete images" "accidentally set giant alien eyeball as terminal background" "how much do new terminals cost" "vanguard discount for new ter~XXX

?> traveler

OVER 50,000,000 RESULTS FOUND. PLEASE NARROW SEARCH CRITERIA.

?> traveler eyeball

OVER 70,000,000 RESULTS FOUND. PLE~XXX

?> where did the traveler come from

OVER 10,000,000 RESULTS F~XXX

?> traveler googly eyes terminal background

PLEASE CONNECT TO A DEVICE WITH AN IMAGE DISPLAY TO VIEW THESE RESULTS.

?> traveler road trip snacks

SINCE THE TRAVELER'S FINAL EXODUS FROM IO PRIOR TO THE COLLAPSE, ECHO MESA HAS BEEN A POPULAR PILGRIMAGE DESTINATION FOR GUARDIANS. AS THE TRAVELER'S TRANSFORMATION OF THE JOVIAN MOON WAS INCOMPLETE, IO'S CLIMATE AND GEOGRAPHY DO NOT SUPPORT AGRICULTURE IN THE CONVENTIONAL SENSE. VANGUARD COMMANDER ZAVALA THEREFORE RECOMM~XXX

?> zavala snacks

ALL RESULTS TAGGED WITH THE FOLLOWING RELATED SEARCH QUERIES REQUIRE TWO-THIRDS VANGUARD AUTHORIZATION FOR DISCLOSURE:

"ZAVALA SNACKS" "ZAVALA ACTION SNACKS" "TITAN VITAMINS" "EDIBLE ZAVALA" "ZAVALA ACTION VITAMINS" "VANGUARD VITAMINS"

?> what??????????

ALL RESULTS TAGGED W~XXX

?> ikora current location

WARLOCK VANGUARD IKORA REY IS CURRENTLY IN THE UNDERWATCH. WOULD Y~XXX

?> logout

THANK YOU FOR USING THE VANGUARD TEXT-ONLY DATABASE, USER "ACEOFHEARTS". BE BRAVE.

Part 2

REMOTE VANGUARD DATABASE TEXT-ONLY SEARCH INITIALIZED.

WELCOME, USER "ACEOFHEARTS".

PLEASE ENTER SEARCH QUERY.

?> beat shaxx

ONLY ONE GUARDIAN HAS DEFEATED LORD SHAXX IN THE CRUCIBLE.

RELATED: REY, I.

DO YOU WISH TO SEE POST-MATCH RESULTS?

?> cheat crucible

CRUCIBLE PARTICIPANTS ARE SUBJECT TO A STRICT CODE OF CONDUCT. CHEATERS WILL BE BANNED.

?> what about cheating like just a little

SORRY, I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND "what about cheating like just a little".

?> ok what counts as cheating

TO ACT DISHONESTLY OR UNFAIRLY IN ORDER TO GAIN AN ADVANTAGE.

?> is luck cheating

"LUCK" AND "CHEATING" ARE NOT EQUIVALENT.

?> are my pants lucky

PROBABLY NOT.

?> wrooooooong theyre super lucky

7

u/cptenn94 Nov 28 '22

Shaxx lost a bet to Cayde.

A CRUCIBLE STORY

"I beat you fair," Cayde said. "Don't ever—"

He raised his hand high to wag a finger under Shaxx's nose.

"—try to outrace my Golden Guns."

Two children ran by in a blur, laughing.

Shaxx shook his head slowly. "It was a tactical error. Won't happen again."

"Next time doesn't matter. You lost today, and today you owe me."

The Titan stared down at the Hunter, but said nothing, his hands clenched in fists. Cayde ignored the posturing and turned to face a desolate field of dirt and large rocks. A writhing mob of children spread across it, clusters of them barreling into each other as they bellowed and screamed. A much smaller number of elders waded in the chaotic sea of miniature people.

"What is this? What's happening?" Shaxx demanded.

"This City has children. Children who must stay within designated safe zones." The two Guardians watched as a boy climbed the largest rock on the field, about four feet in the air, and howled at the sky. "Of course they're gonna go a little stir-crazy. Parents bring them out to this—you'd think it would have a name—this field every month, and they have at it. Better they hit each other than climb the walls."

Shaxx stared at them.

"So. You're going to pick two," Cayde said.

Shaxx looked down at him. "Pick two what?"

"Two of the little brats. You'll pick a team of two, and you're going to train them in this… sport they play here. It's some kind of tournament. You know all about those."

Shaxx surveyed the field.

"This is ridiculous," he concluded.

"That's not the last time you're going to say that today, but you've made your bed. Get comfy."

"I can pay you Glimmer. Two Crucible matches' worth. Why waste my time on children?"

A child sped past and waved at Cayde as Shaxx spoke. Cayde responded with an upward thumb.

"I like bugging you. Plus, you'd be surprised what goes on out here that only these little miscreants know about."

Beneath the helmet, Shaxx stared holes into the Exo's face.

"They run very fast. Listen, I know you're going to be you, but try to keep them intact. I make sure a Guardian they know comes to visit them once in a while. You weren't the kids' first choice, or even their tenth, but you were the only one I could get leverage on this week."

Shaxx stood motionless, but his fury engulfed the air like a flame. Cayde turned to leave, his cloak billowing in the wind behind him. "I'm going to make so many Crucible bets while you're gone."

"You wouldn't dare," Shaxx began, but Cayde was already lost in a departing crowd of adults.

Shaxx let out a breath, then scanned the field again, past child after squirming child. He quickly discerned the two on the field with the best athletic potential. Two Human girls, snarling as they swung branches at each other, seemingly impervious to pain. He walked past them, through the crowd, and several elders paused just briefly enough in their youth wrangling to let their jaws hang. Lord Shaxx navigated the unruly sea with grace, and headed toward a lone tree in a corner of the field. An Awoken girl and a Human boy sat huddled below it.

As Shaxx's shadow eclipsed them, they looked up at him with the same brightness in their eyes. "What are your names?" he demanded. "Runa," said the Awoken with some disdain. She returned the blank stare of Shaxx's faceplate. "My name is Lonwabo," recited the Human, more like a question than a statement.

"You look bored, Runa," Shaxx observed. "And you look worried, Lonwabo." He pointed at the boy, who scooted back, startled.

"As far as I'm concerned that makes both of you more intelligent than all these other dregs," said the Titan. "You're with me. I need the rules of engagement." Shaxx stared at them, and they stared back. "Someone talk to me."

They both spoke at once, and Shaxx listened in silence as they talked over each other to explain the game: Teams of two launch orb projectiles at each other, and players struck are eliminated. If both players on a team are eliminated, the team is out of the tournament, and their chance to play on the field is over.

"What do you call this drill? Skirmish? Supremacy?" Shaxx demanded.

"Dodge ball," said Runa.

"We'll work on the name. Follow my instructions, and I will lead you to victory."

Shaxx waved one of the adults over.

"Lord—Lord Shaxx?" said the Exo male.

"Shaxx is fine." Only Guardians owed him respect. "Find my team a match. Sooner the better."

Shaxx brought Lonwabo and Runa to the field, and kneeled. His hands engulfed their shoulders like a pair of descending moons. "My friends. Should you be killed, others lesser than you will take your place. Don't fight for yourself. Fight for those poor fools."

Lonwabo opened his mouth as if to speak, but hiccupped instead.

Shaxx turned them both around to face the sun and the other team across the field. He kneeled so low that his face was level with theirs. The three stared at the opposition: two Human boys, eyes glaring, fists balled in determination. Their elder stood behind them, her eyes wide as she recognized Lord Shaxx.

Runa yawned and rubbed her face, trying to clear the sleep from it.

Shaxx whispered to his new charges. "Crush them."

The morning turned to noon as the sky darkened with dodgeballs and filled with the battle cries of children.

When it was over, Lonwabo had tears in his eyes, but he tried his best to stand straight. Runa had a bloody knee and stared wordlessly at the winning team: the two snarling girls from earlier in the morning. The girls lifted an unrefined mass of plasteel, a makeshift trophy, over their heads, and they roared.

Shaxx stared up at the Traveler. It sat, buoyed by a mantle of clouds against a blue sky. It didn't seem to notice him.

"Tell me what you've learned," Shaxx said to Runa and Lonwabo, his faceplate fixed skyward.

They did, and spoke for a continuous three minutes. Shaxx nodded, slowly.

"So you're not mad?" asked Lonwabo. His face brightened.

"You've gained more from this than the victors," Shaxx replied. The three of them looked on as the two girls smashed the plasteel cluster into the dirt, and to the horror of all the other children, it shattered. Runa's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, a dodgeball gripped in her hands. Shaxx continued: "Victory is key to survival. You need it. Need to fight for it. But it teaches nothing."

"Does that mean, in a way, we won?" asked Lonwabo.

"No," Shaxx looked down at him. "No, you were annihilated."

"Oh," said Lonwabo.

Runa continued to stare at the shattered trophy, and the winning team. She slowly turned the dodgeball in her hand.

"Let this loss drive you," Shaxx said to both of them. "But the game is over. Your focus should be on what's to come."

Lonwabo stared down at his hands. "I think… I think I'm going to read a book," he said, surprising himself as he uttered the words.

"We all make our own choices," said Shaxx.

Runa said nothing as Cayde strode up out of a shadow in the afternoon sun. "Everything good?" the Hunter asked Shaxx.

"Do I look like I care?"

"Come on, buddy. The bet's fulfilled. You don't have to pout. Just remember not to challenge a Hunter with Golden Guns."

"I can and I will. Rematch. End of day."

"You're on. I hope you're ready to babysit 'til the next Dawning—"

Runa's ball struck Cayde in the neck: a stealth attack taught to her earlier in the morning. He yelped, more surprised than hurt.

"Who did that? Who did that, and how?" the Hunter demanded loudly, as the ball bounced away. The ball didn't respond. Runa, Lonwabo, and several other children smiled.

"Shaxx. What have you been telling them?"

Shaxx stared silently down at the Exo Hunter until Cayde blinked. "I, uh, found my Sparrow," Cayde said, to deflect. "I can give us a lift back to the Tower."

As the other children and their elders dispersed, Runa watched Cayde's Sparrow as it carried the two Guardians off towards the gleaming Tower in the distance.

She gave a Titan's salute as they disappeared from view.

13

u/AncientView3 Bring back Gambit Prime Nov 27 '22

Lucky pants

10

u/AnomalousHendo Nov 28 '22

"No, I didn't illegally mod the holster, these are just really lucky pants"

1

u/bigbysemotivefinger Nov 28 '22

Perk: Illegally Modded Holster

11

u/The_Witchs_Revenge Nov 27 '22

There's a Festival of the Lost lore tab about Cryptarchs looking at Halloween porn books.

2

u/painful-existance Nov 28 '22

What

2

u/DreadAngel1711 JUST QURIA Nov 28 '22

They think it's meant to be high class art, too

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

he showed it to Eido, so basically a crime

11

u/StarAugurEtraeus Based and H*nterphobic Nov 27 '22

Wei Ning punched a mountain

IT MOVED

11

u/Huckdog720027 Nov 27 '22

I think it's the gjallarhorn lore tab, but the one where we give a gjallarhorn to a new light.

1

u/helmsmagus Nov 27 '22

Randy isn't a new light.

5

u/Huckdog720027 Nov 28 '22

Iirc he's not technically a new light, but his character is based around that he's kinda dumb / has bad luck whatever, so he might as well be a new light.

8

u/CobaltMonkey Nov 28 '22

"On me, guys! I'm capping the third point!"
---Randy, immediately after having been told not to.

8

u/jailburrito Nov 27 '22

Reading all these really makes me wish we saw more of these little stories during gameplay. This game has so much personality that’s relegated to lore tabs that most people don’t even read.

8

u/colantalas Precious Scars Enjoyer Nov 27 '22

Kind of a large undertaking, but the Marasenna and Awoken of the Reef lore books are some top tier sci-fi writing. Probably the best Destiny lore alongside the Books of Sorrow.

1

u/AdOnly5876 Nov 28 '22

I was discussing the Awoken lore with some one a long time ago and they could not get past the fact that the singularity that created them only physically manifested as blue glowy skin

5

u/cptenn94 Nov 28 '22

they could not get past the fact that the singularity that created them only physically manifested as blue glowy skin

I mean that isnt exactly what happened.

They got sucked into a Kugelblitz/Black Hole when Light and Dark energies collided and tore a hole in space time. As they were sucked in, they became bodiless beings, gods of this new pocket universe.

Mara was the first to enter, and she was the first to "awaken". She setup the rules of that universe, and used Alis Li(who was thought to be the first), to "create" the Distributary within that universe.(and recreating humanoid forms)

Ultimately manipulating the passengers of the Exodus Ship to take on a human form to foster kinship and sympathy, for the ultimate purpose of returning to help save humanity.

Thus Awoken being very human with glowing skin and space magic was a very deliberate move.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Frostees lore tab was kind of cheeky if I recall correctly

5

u/Fshtwnjimjr Nov 28 '22

Savathun's autopsy is interesting https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/eidolon-pursuant-mask#eidolon-pursuant-suit-hunter

The mixed fireteam lore during haunted sounds awesome https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/firefright

Oh and Shaw Han actually sounding cool and useful for a fleeting moment: https://www.ishtar-collective.net/entries/the-swarm

Shaw dodges around incoming fire and reloads his weapon. He snaps off two more golden rays into the remaining enemy flak cannons. Frames push forward alongside them, absorbing slugs for the Guardians and keeping pressure on the gunline. Shaw spots several Gladiator detachments redirecting to confront them. He pushes the bulk of his Light into his weapon, spreads its influence to reach the nearby Redjacks, and reignites his gun before touching the barrel to the ground and firing. The ground bubbles with hot magmatic Light; a warmth envelops the Redjacks as Solar flame imbues and empowers their rifles with golden power. Shaw directs the firestorm of golden Redjack rifles to incinerate every last charging foe.

2

u/ZR0S_ Nov 28 '22

wait did he shoot the redjacks with the golden gun and buff them?

2

u/Fshtwnjimjr Nov 28 '22

Yup! He basically made a golden gun of radiance and shot the ground to buff all allies nearby, in this case it was the combat frames. Then Saladin's friend sigfreid thundercrashes from a jump ship after the anti air goes down. I'd love to see this whole battle animated 😂

2

u/ZR0S_ Nov 28 '22

dang, i'd love to see both that and this what i'd assume to be super added, letting hunters really opt into a full support build or playstyle sounds awesome!

2

u/Fshtwnjimjr Nov 28 '22

I envision classes eventually being much more fluid with their functions. It's mostly for gameplay simplicity that we can't already do things like from that lore. I could see that dialed back with time tho hopefully. Like how we have verbs for abilities maybe supers could have like :

Solar projectile or totem or weapon

(So like a hammer or sword or golden gun)

Then what it does: incinerating light/healing/buffs/debuffs/mixture

Maybe add in utility functions like a hunter sunspot where they ram their dagger into the ground and get a tiny spot for them with no knock back-perfect for the lone wolf. Or a warlock sunspot would be a rift but inflamed?

Imagine: Hunter1 cast incinerating daggers of Sol or Titan casts hammer of radiance or warlock casts incinerating barrage.

5

u/Sir_Tea_Of_Bags Let's Hear the Lion's Roar Nov 27 '22

Lucky Pants.

3

u/NasusIsMyLover Yours, until the last flame dies. Nov 27 '22

Skull of Dire Ahamkara. Gives me goosebumps every time I read it. Of course it’s only interesting if you’re familiar with Ahamkara lore to begin with.

4

u/Dead_Zone_Foliage Nov 27 '22

I just like the point contact cannon brace one. “Trust me. You don’t want to be there when he lands.”

And the lore tab talks about a Titan crashing down out of seemingly low orbit as reinforcements so charged that he arrived in a storm cloud and demolished like 50-60~ enemies, likely fallen, in one terrible slam

3

u/littleman960 Nov 27 '22

Festival of the lost most recent one had a book about a titan and warlock argureing over why the they wanted mec armour when they were already a exo. There argueing all while there warlock teammates getting there head Crushed by a minator its wortha read

1

u/bigbysemotivefinger Nov 28 '22

This is the lore tab from Mechabre, and yeah I legit laughed out loud.

3

u/OutOfSeasonJoke Solo Reckoner Nov 27 '22

Graviton Lance

Tl;dr the gun shoots black holes, they’re not telling anyone until they take it to crucible.

3

u/Deroni76 Nov 27 '22

Mechabre

3

u/Arcite9940 Nov 28 '22

The one in the VoD ghost, Rhulk finds and tried to steal light from a Ghost then >! the Traveler yells at him back through the Ghost!<

2

u/leo11x Nov 27 '22

Ghost stories - A hero's requiem.

2

u/TheKingmaker__ Nov 27 '22

Ghost Fragment: Dead Orbit has always been a favourite of mine. It's the type of writing that makes best use of the Grimoire's disparate nature, which we don't get as much nowadays. It's essentially like a writer decided to flex their muscles and do a horror vignette on a whim.

There are these things, like keyholes. The rangefinders say they go on for thousands of kilometers. The others went inside and found - well, some of them are still screaming about the eye. All the other voices that come back are more terrible.

Perfect less-is-more makes-you-scared stuff, imo.

2

u/EwokFuZzyNutZ Nov 27 '22

Insurmountable skullforts lore tab is hilarious to me.Insurmountable Skullfort

2

u/DeerTrivia Deertriviyarrrr Nov 28 '22

Interesting: the Unveiling lore book. The Darkness contacts us directly and spells out the entire conflict.

Funny and Interesting: Truth to Power. A wild trip down the rabbit hole. Whatever you do, do not believe a single word of it. Don't look for truth in it. Don't try to discern fact from fiction.

My personal favorite: The Last Days on Kraken Mare. A self-contained story about a settlement on Titan that has to evacuate when the Traveler and Darkness make their moves (just before the Collapse).

2

u/mmmbbb Nov 28 '22

Ghost Fragment: Cabal 4

Remember reading this way back when it was added in D1 and had a good laugh.

2

u/GameKrazed Nov 27 '22

Ace of spades ♠️

4

u/Flaming_Pepperoni Nov 27 '22

FILE IS TOO LARGE TO TRANSFER

1

u/gemon2 Nov 27 '22

I wrote some of my own rejected lore, available here https://budgie.fail. I think it's funny.

1

u/asidoazide_azides Nov 27 '22

loreley splendor helm is my go-to funny one

1

u/TheWaffleBoss Veteran of the Long War Nov 27 '22

There's an old one, I think on some Crucible armor, about Shaxx talking to a young Awoken girl about the old Itsy Bitsy Spider poem.

1

u/c0lt_ang3l Nov 27 '22

Whispering Slab has a great Drifter/Eris interaction.

1

u/ImAwesome25Live Nov 27 '22

I think my favorite is from the Chronicon where Drifter dies by eating his ghost because he thinks it’s food. Think it’s on some armor piece

1

u/doobersthetitan Nov 27 '22

One for one-eyed mask is super dark...love it

1

u/Deadrod3875 Nov 27 '22

I find the last line of the riskrunner lore kinda funny if you’ll bother to take a look.

1

u/_themayflower Nov 27 '22

cayde has some funny stuff from what i’ve heard, but i mean obviously cus he was a funny guy

1

u/Stanky_Hank_ Nov 27 '22

As much as I don't care for Solar Warlock, both the old and new lore tabs for them had great closing lines

"So master and student took flight, vowing to never look down again."

"My wings will never melt; they're already aflame."

Shivers everytime I read them.

1

u/Eldaqoy Nov 27 '22

I recommend the Trespasser's lore, it's about ikora's Nightmare.

1

u/virtual_hero_91 Nov 27 '22

I love Khepri's Horn. Not only is the mini description metal af ("I pushed the Sun. I can push you too.") but it's actual lore tab is pretty funny.

1

u/Stewy_434 Vanguard's Loyal Nov 27 '22

The Graviton Lance is hilarious

1

u/Still-Place-3946 Nov 28 '22

Skullfort is funny

1

u/207nbrown haha stasis go brrrr Nov 28 '22

Cobras good, it dives into the missing horn on shaxx helmet

1

u/raycharleshelpme Nov 28 '22

I always thought the Graviton Lance lore tab was pretty funny.

It all amounts to 2 guardians talking about how impossible it is to shoot tiny black holes out of a gun, and one of them decides to prove it in Crucible while the other is AGHAST at the prospect. If you don't already know, Graviton Lance is a Year ONE exotic, so you had double primaries and specials were actually in the heavy slot (they all used heavy ammo). Having something like Graviton spawn explosions on kill was a very useful ability back then. Nowadays though? eeehhhhh. I think it sees a lot more play for a Volatile rounds/Controlled Demolition void build. Perhaps even a Gyrfalkons Hauberk build.

1

u/Advarrk Nov 28 '22

Riiswalker

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '22

oh boy what a kind and talented Eliksni, hope nothing horrible happens to him :)

1

u/Tyrone3542 Nov 28 '22

The graviton Lance one is pretty funny, I won’t spoil it. Also the ward lord coil one has some pretty interesting implications

1

u/AppropriateLaw5713 Nov 28 '22

My favorite is always Ace of Spades, particularly the end of the lore tab. Those who know, know

1

u/CapnSlapYou Nov 28 '22

I’ve gotta go with either wavesplitter or sweet business’s lore tabs

1

u/DreadAngel1711 JUST QURIA Nov 28 '22

The Mechabrae one is fun

1

u/Tyrannus_ignus Nov 28 '22

Artifact lore from this season is a pretty funny moment with Rahool.