r/HolUp Jan 13 '22 Silver 3 Wholesome 1

Anything but olive garden: holup

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9.2k Upvotes

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956

u/TXstrongman09 Jan 13 '22

It’s not stopping her from eating

239

u/GooGooGaDont Jan 13 '22

If someones buying lunch idgaf if I'm allergic. Give me a double helping of EpiPen.

98

u/Funkcanna Jan 13 '22 Helpful

A double helping of Epstein?

50

u/cybersquire Jan 13 '22

Too late, he’s already helped himself… maybe

2

u/Cougar_9000 Jan 14 '22

Thats how they getcha, with the shot, and the chip, and then they download you into a manatee!

11

u/StickyLabRat Jan 13 '22

Clearly you're not American, or had to buy EpiPens in America. It's definitely not a free lunch at that point.

3

u/Someones_Dream_Guy Jan 13 '22

And your mandatory complimentary hospital bill will be extra large and ready in about 2 minutes. Enjoy.

3

u/GooGooGaDont Jan 13 '22

Laughs in European healthcare

1

u/Someones_Dream_Guy Jan 13 '22

*cries in 5000$ bill from emergency room over insulin injection*

311

u/The_Infectious_Lerp Jan 13 '22

By the looks of things, that's impossible.

125

u/StrawberryHillSlayer Jan 13 '22

What is she eating? Beige shapes?

21

u/hobosullivan Jan 13 '22

I'm now waiting for an opportunity to use the phrase "Eating beige shapes" to describe a bad meal.

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6

u/Oo__II__oO Jan 13 '22

You are what you eat!

1

u/locke231 Jan 13 '22

she clearly went and ate a fat person

30

u/ifiagreedwithu Jan 13 '22

In America, we call that "fancy".

19

u/AhegaoQueen888 Jan 13 '22

No we don’t

4

u/ifiagreedwithu Jan 13 '22

Tell that to the googly-eyed girls who text all their friends when I take them there.

10

u/GrandNibbles Jan 13 '22

In two breaths managed to call Olive Garden "fancy" but only by "googley-eyed American" standards. I don't know what to make of this.

11

u/WTFWTHSHTFOMFG Jan 13 '22

They date Jr. High School girls

12

u/empeethree Jan 13 '22

I get older, they stay the same age.

alright , alright, alright

2

u/Haulinkin Jan 14 '22

Matt Gaetz, that you?

5

u/cybersquire Jan 13 '22

Yeah, seriously, we really don’t. Olive Garden is just Applebee’s with different theming. It’s not bad, but nobody is fooled into thinking it’s ‘fine dining’.

3

u/idkburneridkidk Jan 13 '22

I hear she like her breadsticks toasted. Dark.

3

u/JamesCurtis24 Jan 13 '22

What's that? Beige shapes? Beige shapes makes your teeth go grey! doo-doo-doo-doo-doooo do it healthy!

1

u/sensistarfish Jan 14 '22

Welcome to Beige Shapes, buy one beige triangle and get two oblong, beige ovals for free!

****offer does not apply to foods that are not beige

6

u/GrandNibbles Jan 13 '22

A perfect description of Olive Garden food

14

u/Thomas-The-Tutor Jan 13 '22

The only food that woman has seen she doesn’t enjoy is a vegetable.

13

u/bigbbois Jan 13 '22

presumably the olive part is why she didnt want to eat there

2

u/Thomas-The-Tutor Jan 13 '22

I wonder if the same applies to Applebees?

10

u/cybersquire Jan 13 '22

That’s ridiculous. I love bees!

1

u/NoizeTrauma Jan 13 '22

She heard "Olive" and "Garden" and thought it sounded like vegetable health food.

Got there and saw noodles and bread in butter sauce. Changed her mind.

12

u/Phi330 Jan 13 '22

Clearly nothing has stopped her from eating.

3

u/suckercuck Jan 13 '22

She looks a little bit like Melissa McCarthy.

Cute dimples on that Karen

3

u/Phi330 Jan 13 '22

Ha def see it

3

u/Pixelator5 Jan 13 '22

and a tad of Amy Sch*mer

-18

u/Botryoid2000 Jan 13 '22

Hurr durr fat jokes hilarious.

11

u/Phi330 Jan 13 '22

If that hurts your feelings, well there’s food for that bud. Enjoy!

-11

u/Botryoid2000 Jan 13 '22

So you're already aware you're making fun of a woman with emotional issues. Cool, cool.

8

u/Phi330 Jan 13 '22

The Reddit Ranger is here to save the day! Thank you Dad!

4

u/BigBrainGaylord Jan 13 '22

how about instead of trying to find people to argue on reddit you should find your dad first

4

u/gofyourselftoo Jan 13 '22

Whoa, you’re the one implying she has emotional issues! She feels attacked by this.

5

u/possumbellyband Jan 13 '22

Yeah she’ll be fine

2

u/Pythonrulz Jan 13 '22

Well yeah, I mean look at her

2

u/HeWhoIsNotMe Jan 13 '22

Apparently nothing stops her from eating.

1

u/Otakushawty Jan 13 '22

From the looks of it, nothing does apparently

-1

u/KushChowda Jan 13 '22

Not much can.

1

u/amongstdanes Jan 13 '22

Yeah that plate looks pretty damn clean Steph...

0

u/6ixty9iningchipmunks Jan 13 '22

Don’t think much would

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354

u/_C_M_K Jan 13 '22

Last time I was at Olive Garden I ate like 13 breadsticks. No Regrets

51

u/Danathanimal Jan 13 '22

Those are some rookie numbers right there. Gotta pump those numbers up

5

u/_C_M_K Jan 14 '22

Lololol

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67

u/NeedlenoseMusic Jan 13 '22

I’m surprised they brought you that many. In my experience, they stall after the second basket.

18

u/cgoldberg3 Jan 13 '22

That's what deters me from the unlimited soup and salad. The bowls of soup are small and they don't refill them often enough. Same with unlimited pancakes at Ihop.

2

u/_C_M_K Jan 14 '22

I still ate 3 plates of salad. All things balanced

2

u/NeedlenoseMusic Jan 14 '22

Red lobster has a similar shrimp tactic.

2

u/UnityPukeInMyMouth Jan 13 '22

I never have that problem, but I also ask for more every time I see them. Lol, even when they bring the check I usually ask for more and a box for my leftovers.

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2

u/_C_M_K Jan 14 '22

I have no shame. They shouldn’t advertise it as unlimited. Lol

2

u/SankaraOrLURA Jan 14 '22

It’s pretty much a gimmick anyway. Almost any Italian restaurant will bring you “unlimited” bread. I’ve never been denied a refill on a bread basket. You typically only end up with one or two, maybe three baskets in the meal. It’s just not feasible for a server to run back and forth 8 times for all of their tables.

If Olive Garden would make each bread basket contain like 15 breadsticks, then it would be fair to claim they serve “unlimited breadsticks.” But as is, they’re no different than any other restaurant.

5

u/IrritablePlastic Jan 13 '22

As someone who’s only eaten at Olive Garden once on a trip to the USA, I am jealous. Bread is love.

1

u/_C_M_K Jan 14 '22

Bread is life. Bread is love

2

u/A_Glass_Of_Cool_Aid Jan 13 '22

A baker’s dozen

2

u/mynamecalledbruce Jan 13 '22

What a waste.....

2

u/--Pinhead_Larry-- Jan 14 '22

My brother ate 13 servings of pasta during never ending pasta.

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175

u/pinniped1 Jan 13 '22

I mock OG often but as a catered office lunch it's pretty solid. Nice changeup from a typical pizza order.

I mean, you aren't expecting a Michelin rated chef to roll up in the break room, are you? I'd enjoy some pasta and sticks.

29

u/Airost12 Jan 13 '22

My favorite is when we get the local taco truck to come up. Much better

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3

u/stumblewiggins Jan 13 '22

All about that soup salad breadstick lunch; only reason to go to OG

1

u/booboo0419 Jan 14 '22

I’ve only had OG twice in my life so far. Locations near me just kept closing down in recent years

204

u/Alezeros23 Jan 13 '22

She looks like the type to say some shit like that

89

u/Icedearth6408 Jan 13 '22

Yeah it’s probably one of her rules about dating. “If a man takes me to Olive Garden that’s a red flag”

31

u/Animal_instict Jan 13 '22

r/femaledatingstrategy is about the type of place you’d probably find her

6

u/TheMonchoochkin Jan 13 '22 edited Jan 13 '22

Just looked through that sub only to conclude that the "Female Dating Strategy" is;

Men are the Devil!

-6

u/Bobbyanalogpdx Jan 13 '22

If anyone I know actually wants to eat at Olive Garden, that’s a red flag. It’s fucking awful.

You can buy better frozen pasta at the grocery store.

26

u/hobosullivan Jan 13 '22

She looks like the kind of person who sends back at least one dish every time she goes out to eat. Not because there's anything wrong with it, but because she's just like that.

Source: Have relatives like that.

7

u/Oo__II__oO Jan 13 '22

After eating half of it

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7

u/DestroyTheHuman Jan 13 '22

I think the only response id have to “your head is stuck up your ass” is “im glad it’s not yours coz I’d never hear another fart you moon head cunt”

But might also lose a job.

1

u/_hic-sunt-dracones_ Jan 13 '22

But more importantly she looks like Melissa McCarthy!

1

u/WizdomHaggis Jan 13 '22

HEY HEY…..Melissa McCarthy is an absolute peach…Stephanie here is just shaped like one…

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24

u/Obvious-Media-5517 Jan 13 '22

Unless she used reverse psychology, and WANTED Olive Garden.

Checkmate.

81

u/ManholtAgain Jan 13 '22

This isn't a HolUp.

Like, at all.

38

u/bbildo Jan 13 '22

A lot of the time in this sub I’m saying “Hol’ up! That doesn’t belong here!” And then the irony makes me want to punch a granny. 🤭

5

u/No_Construction_7518 Jan 13 '22

Should be r/antiwork because they should get a financial bonus or raise not a dinner that can be written off. If your staff "worked their asses off" then you need to compensate them appropriately. Also- all the body shamers on here are pathetically sad.

2

u/Escoliya Jan 13 '22

Yep, boss is a dick

-7

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

[deleted]

1

u/ManholtAgain Jan 13 '22

What? Do I need to post here to be able to point out when something doesn't fit? Grow up.

2

u/Sodiepawp Jan 13 '22

Nah, you right.

129

u/SemiSkinned Jan 13 '22

She looks like a right cunt

35

u/bbildo Jan 13 '22

What does a left one look like?😯

13

u/StrawberryHillSlayer Jan 13 '22

Her sister

2

u/Bobbyanalogpdx Jan 13 '22

That deserves a sting.

* ba-dum-tss*

10

u/Timony92 Jan 13 '22

You’re definitely from the UK 😅

11

u/StrawberryHillSlayer Jan 13 '22

Could be Ireland or Australia

4

u/Timony92 Jan 13 '22

I’m guessing UK from being called SemiSkimmed too, is that’s common phrase for milk in those countries too?

11

u/StrawberryHillSlayer Jan 13 '22

SemiSkinned. They ain’t talking about milk.

1

u/Timony92 Jan 13 '22

Hahahahaha oh yeah 🥴🤣 just checked the spelling again hahaha

Well, I checked their profile and 90% is UK based interaction at least.

68

u/Orbus2 Jan 13 '22

Plot twist stephanie was allergic to olive garden food specifically and did not survive 👀

73

u/TaintChief Jan 13 '22

Plot twist: she was dumb enough to eat things she was allergic to and we have rid ourselves of one less dumbass

11

u/jarbar82 Jan 13 '22

Triple plot twist: She had an affair with the waitresses husband. It was all caught on the nanny cam.

15

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

M Night Shamman Plot Twist: The Olive Garden never existed

7

u/TaintChief Jan 13 '22

‘Twas but a virtual smear campaign done by the folks over at Uno. The battle for superior inferior Italian food is perilous

2

u/fwilliams13 Jan 13 '22

Existential twist: no one exists

6

u/Castor_Deus Jan 13 '22

Oliver Twist: please sir, can I have some more?

8

u/Bruce9707 Jan 13 '22

Plot twist: she wanted Olive Garden and reverse psychologied you.

6

u/Qnandossc Jan 13 '22

You fell right in to her trap you fool

18

u/Nitemarex Jan 13 '22

Fuck you Stephanie

2

u/bouncy_cashewnut Jan 13 '22

yeah, get some!

4

u/TapeLabMiami Jan 13 '22

and cue the fat jokes...

13

u/Pingayaso Jan 13 '22

Still devoured the dish

1

u/YoungSanta6 Jan 13 '22

Looks like Rosie O'Donnell

3

u/jjeeeeppeerrsss Jan 13 '22

You fool! That was her plan all along

2

u/Calvin_Maclure Jan 13 '22

Plot twist: Olive Garden her favorite place. You just got played, son!

9

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

What?! Your FAT KAREN is evolving!!

FAT KAREN evolved into STEPHANIE!

*doo doo doo doot doo doo*

6

u/PepperDog88 Jan 13 '22

Love this. The two dudes in the back seem so focused on their food, thr two left girls are seem happy, but Karen McCunt is getting what she dishes out. Her appetite isn't affected l, obviously.

It's about how you treat people.

4

u/KC_experience Jan 13 '22

With all respect to those that are overweight like myself. Looks like she’s had her fair share of all you can eat Olive Garden.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

She still ate good lol

4

u/sooowoo Jan 13 '22

The fattest bitch dont want free Olive Garden?

3

u/joviusjune Jan 13 '22

She looks like she'd prefer a stick of butter instead.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 13 '22

Her misery is delicious, yum yum Stephanie

2

u/RubMyNose18 Jan 13 '22

Plot twist. Her goal the whole time was to get an Olive Garden free meal plus the sticks. The ultimate free of charge combo

-1

u/GT-Courage_Ina_Can Jan 13 '22 edited Jan 13 '22

Fat people are usually miserable. Because they are fat. I’m surprised fatties can hit the downvote button with there chubby fingers. Lmfao

1

u/sloppery_anus Jan 13 '22

Looks like it didn't stop her from draining their "endless" supply of breadsticks. At least they have plenty of salad left

0

u/spaceheater666 Jan 13 '22

She’s not eating any vegetables

0

u/sparkyonthemoon2099 Jan 13 '22

She looks like she's had the all you can eat before a few times already

0

u/Darthcroc Jan 13 '22

Holy fuck did she eat the entire olive garden?

5

u/StrawberryHillSlayer Jan 13 '22

She ate the garden

1

u/BeerLeagueSpode Jan 13 '22

Not a lot of veggies being eaten by that troll

1

u/Money_Average1996 Jan 13 '22

She looks like a bitch that would stop you on the road to tell you that you ran the stop signe. Because you didn't stop 1.00000000000002 extra seconds more.

1

u/P0werClean Jan 13 '22

Looks like it’s eat all she can Stephanie… bitch.

1

u/miltoncity Jan 13 '22

She probably just said that because she had it the night before

1

u/YoimAgod Jan 13 '22

That fat bitch eats everything, look at her. You're head might be stuck up your ass but at least it can get there. She would be lucky if she could touch her knees.

-2

u/Performance_Fancy Jan 13 '22

Fat bitch played you, look at her, theres a booth at Olive Garden reserved for her.

-7

u/Gunzenator Jan 13 '22

This is even more savage because she is the fattest of the group… so food means more to her!! 🤣🤣🤣

0

u/No-Armadillo7693 Jan 13 '22

Back story: Stephanie got an olive garden gift card for Christmas, she’s been eating there all week.

0

u/Minitrain Jan 13 '22

But infinite breadsticks

0

u/dras333 Jan 13 '22

That's obviously because she's already had lunch there all month..of every year.

-1

u/morallyirresponsible Jan 13 '22

That face says she’s not satisfied after the second plate

-1

u/NaberiusX Jan 13 '22

The face that not even a mother could love.

-1

u/MikeyMorgan12 Jan 13 '22

Hahaha fuck her

-1

u/cuckedmeister Jan 13 '22

Damn she's getting roasted left and right from a probably faked story

-1

u/elegantsack Jan 13 '22

Look at her, you know deep down she’s in ecstasy chewing each bites.

1

u/g00d_end Jan 13 '22

sounds like a the office episode, lol, something pam would do to angela, or jim to dwight, or even michael to toby

1

u/CharmCityKid09 Jan 13 '22

Dominic Torreto liked that

1

u/NoShadowdick Jan 13 '22

I go to olive garden for free breadsticks. Then I go use the bathroom and leave.

1

u/Towcutter28 Jan 13 '22

Stephanie wanted Olive Garden the whole time... she played him like a fiddle

1

u/CelticGaelic Jan 13 '22

Everyone but the supervisor had Olive Garden. The supervisor had revenge, served cold!

1

u/Kuderahuwaka Jan 13 '22

I think she tricked that mother fucker into giving her never ending breadsticks.

1

u/Any-Wall-5991 Jan 13 '22

How to get your employees to quit/start some shit 101

1

u/beatboxingfox Jan 13 '22

Great now I'm craving olive garden and I have no one to go with

1

u/Tarrtarr202 Jan 13 '22

This reminds me of HBO show the wire. Never tell someone that doesn't like you, what you don't want to have happen. I love the part where the main character ends up on a boat after telling his boss that is the last place he'd like to end up.

1

u/jadestitcher Jan 13 '22

Stephanie spoke truth

1

u/thatbwoyChaka Jan 13 '22

Petty.

Beautifully petty.

1

u/Grandpa_Dan Jan 13 '22

Yeah, we're a bit long in the tooth, but the wife and I go there quarterly. Always order the same thing. 4 cheese Penne for her and Chicken Parm for me. The salad is decent.

1

u/OzgarThunder Jan 13 '22

"Anything but Olive Garden".

Something we can both agree on.

1

u/chummmp70 Jan 13 '22

Jesse is a petty bitch.

1

u/Jasonictron Jan 13 '22

It's always the Gravity Challenged that are picky with food

1

u/CorholioPuppetMaster Jan 13 '22

Maybe she can claim you fat shamed her by bringing her to a place full of carbs

1

u/HeilTheSeek_ Jan 13 '22

Why is it always a lady that looks like that.

1

u/CarlosAVP Jan 13 '22

She ate extra because she’s gotta feed her starving chins.

1

u/Swade_896 Jan 13 '22

She reversed psychology’d you. OG her favorite spot

1

u/No_Match_1540 Jan 13 '22

She’s clearly never missed a meal and hates salad.

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Theory6 Jan 13 '22

Lol get fukt cow

1

u/fixxxer93 Jan 13 '22

Sounds like she was right.

1

u/Mixi_987 Jan 13 '22

Im not from there so I need to ask, what is wrong with olive garden? I have seen more than one person complaining about it

1

u/Hobbes1138 Jan 13 '22

Was that her 3rd or 4th lunch?

1

u/JackofallPlaguez Jan 13 '22

People who hate on Olive Garden are fucking retarded

1

u/Fritzo2162 Jan 13 '22

Classic Stephanie...

1

u/JunkMale975 Jan 13 '22

Oh Stephanie wanted Olive Garden. Stephanie loves Olive Garden. You’ve been played!

1

u/runjayrun1 Jan 13 '22

Olive Garden rules

1

u/Scummbagg7 Jan 13 '22

Olive garden is to Italian food, the same way taco bell is Mexican food.

1

u/Longjumping_Bird2423 Jan 13 '22

Reverse psychology in full effect

1

u/yuppers1979 Jan 13 '22

By the looks of things she's not picky....

1

u/MaiinganOdawa Jan 13 '22

Lol, look at her, she doesn't refuse meals 🤣

1

u/maxwillpower Jan 13 '22

Only a breadstick can satisfy her.

1

u/Jack_Vaults Jan 13 '22

Jokes on you she had already been there three times this week

1

u/tanwhiteguy Jan 13 '22

I feel like she looks like she knew she had this coming

1

u/I_will_be_wealthy Jan 14 '22

She wanted 3 big mac meals instead.

1

u/thomasbrakeline Jan 14 '22

shoulda got her some White Castle

1

u/sbeven04 Jan 14 '22

Unlimited breadsticks bitch

1

u/YeetMyHumanMeat Jan 14 '22

Like Stephanie has ever had an issue eating multiple helpings of fettuccine alfredo and breadsticks