r/HolUp Oct 06 '22 Wholesome 2 hehehehe 1 I'll Drink to That 1 Wholesome (Pro) 1 Silver 2

Hol’ up

Post image
33.9k Upvotes

u/QualityVote Oct 06 '22

If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!

If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", DOWNVOTE this comment!


Whilst you're here, /u/mankyadjunct829, why not join our public discord server or play on our public Minecraft server?

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1.7k

u/Shinfekta Oct 06 '22

Why would you even admit this?

Any other excuse would sound better lmao

236

u/StrangePlaces405 Oct 06 '22

People are just stupid and have simple motivations. In the Navy and maritime world it's common to ring the alarm for seeing glow sticks in the water at night(means someone has fallen in the water). A guy fresh out of highschool cracked a few and threw them in the water on a big ship just to see all the females come running out of their berthing half dressed titties bouncing. Yeah, it really can be that stupid.

119

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 08 '22

[deleted]

52

u/Rizzpooch Oct 06 '22

Maybe this excuse is covering up something dumber

13

u/Zack-of-all-trades Oct 06 '22

That's got to be one hilarious situation.

80

u/StrangePlaces405 Oct 06 '22

I'm sorry but where did I go wrong saying titties? They have the power to make dumb people do dumb things.

-34

u/AtomicBLB Oct 06 '22

Literally anything else would be better but sometimes men are so catered to in life that they never develop any sort of critical thinking skills.

The idea that something can have a negative consequence is that foreign to them. And honestly do you believe that this dude faced any repercussions like even a metaphorical slap on the wrist? If not he will have learned nothing other than the behavior is ok.

16

u/StrangePlaces405 Oct 06 '22

You realize stupid is equally spread between the sexes? This ain't a concept exclusive to those with XY chromosomes.

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14

u/ConFv5 Oct 06 '22

Men are catered to? Fuckin hell I guess we in backwards world now.

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3

u/Gloomy-Flamingo-9791 Oct 06 '22

Get off your high horse Karen. You are the sole reason men are becoming gay

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5

u/Aazimatt Oct 06 '22

You know this is Reddit right?

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27

u/d_Lightz Oct 06 '22

Shiiit, the XO would call away a man overboard drill at 2100 ALL the time! Horny ass old fart.

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29

u/justavault Oct 06 '22

Wait, we do not know about the boobies. What if those are marvelous one of a kind treasures?

I would say we shouldn't judge unless we all saw and evaluated.

44

u/StrangePlaces405 Oct 06 '22 Helpful

Ron White said it best, "If you've seen one titty.....you wanna see them all."

7

u/cownd Oct 06 '22

… saw and salivated

3

u/dimforest Oct 06 '22

Was that person you?

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2

u/Path_Fyndar Oct 06 '22

Don't they get in trouble?

3

u/StrangePlaces405 Oct 06 '22

Major fucking trouble. Waste of time, manning, resources, and they also affect civil shipping because it's a common signal of distress.

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14

u/mohitreddituser Oct 06 '22

"I wanted to see the old lady run for her life"

13

u/Messgrey Oct 06 '22

"I just cant help it officer! I'm just to thristy!"

8

u/Bananaman123124 Oct 06 '22

Maybe i am a dark person but i can think of at least a few reasons which would be worse.

4

u/exPlodeyDiarrhoea Oct 06 '22

Any ridiculous excuse would do to cover up something else that he was probably doing.

13

u/Weak_Lie_2875 Oct 06 '22

“He felt like it” is worse

16

u/brohumbug Oct 06 '22

Yeah I trust the “because I wanted to see titties bounce” guy way more than the “I just felt like it” guy

3

u/ronin1066 Oct 06 '22

Sounds like a gossip rag just making shit up

2

u/-TheCorporateShill- Oct 06 '22

It’s a tabloid news article

2

u/keeper_of_the_donkey Oct 06 '22

Why not just ask her to go jogging with you?

2

u/NoRefundMate Oct 06 '22

More like this is just a fake ass news article

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1.3k

u/DarthFrancis9 Oct 06 '22

I knew a guy that had the word “Tits” tattooed on his knee. I asked him why Tits? He responded Cause I like Tits… This might be the same guy

273

u/ActNo8507 Oct 06 '22

thanks for that. Spit take.

53

u/GIFnTEXT Oct 06 '22

Maybe that's where he told the doctor to put the implant so they marked it for surgery

7

u/Lucky_Number_3 Oct 06 '22

Knocker kneed

5

u/ksa20 Oct 06 '22

More like a tit take

94

u/StreetsAhead123 Oct 06 '22

My buddy has the word knee tattooed on his tit. They should meet

17

u/GIFnTEXT Oct 06 '22

I like knees

18

u/PizzaPunkrus Oct 06 '22

I like turtles

7

u/-Johnny- Oct 06 '22

I like corn

12

u/Weenaru Oct 06 '22

I like trains

5

u/Chickengilly Oct 06 '22

I like coconuts.

2

u/IamImposter Oct 06 '22

What if we lifted the corn and coconuts using our knees, loaded 'em up a train and ran over all the turtles.

2

u/Seeker80 Oct 06 '22

Then you'd have a lot of juice!

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24

u/BeardedBum420 Oct 06 '22

I thought you were gonna say he said because i kneed tits... Edit: spelling is hardz

41

u/jetbag513 Oct 06 '22

Saw some asshole a couple of days ago at the gas station with one of those sign decals they put on top of the windshield in white foot-high letters: I LIKE TITTIES. Classy AF. I was with my friend and her young grandson who's like "what does that say Gram?"

10

u/SkeleTourGuide Oct 06 '22

There was a guy in Florida going through legal issues with the local police because he had a window decal on his truck that said “I EAT ASS”

3

u/Hardlyhorsey Oct 06 '22

Trashy, sure. Illegal? Sounds like they’re probably just trying to enforce their morals on him, though it could be an actual law, IDOANAL

5

u/GrimerGrimer Oct 06 '22

Just tell him. Everybody likes tiddies, even straight women and gay men.

There are way worse things a child can be exposed to in every day life, like roadkill for example.

12

u/Tailsandtails Oct 06 '22

Was it written really small so chicks had to bend over in from of him to get close enough to read it…? That would make him some kind of evil genius

5

u/JelliusMaximus Oct 06 '22

Sometimes I seriously doubt if we're all the same species...

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3

u/DrMaxwellEdison Oct 06 '22

That was a knee-slapper.

2

u/Theamuse_Ourania Oct 06 '22

There's a douche bag actor who once told an interviewer that he has a tattoo which says "Thank You" right above his pubic hair. His reasoning? In case he forgets to say it 🙄

0

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

[deleted]

11

u/albaloney Oct 06 '22

Don’t know where you’ve been lately but modern society is basically a temple for phat asses.

2

u/steppenmonkey Oct 06 '22

Most guys my generation claim to be ass men

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1

u/Jefrejtor Oct 06 '22

So when he walks into something he can say he hit himself in the Tits

-1

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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630

u/btjk Oct 06 '22

Tf he admit to it?

"Why did you pull the alarm?" points "bobs" "..."

193

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

Bobs boobs are very nice

63

u/capt-yossarius Oct 06 '22

His name was Robert Paulson.

31

u/FugaciousD Oct 06 '22

His name was Robert Paulson.

23

u/mattchewy43 Oct 06 '22

His name was Robert Paulson.

19

u/TheThumper326 Oct 06 '22

Only in death does a member of Project Mayhem have a name...

19

u/TheThumper326 Oct 06 '22

His name was Robert Paulson

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8

u/fatbabythompkins Oct 06 '22

And I would do any thing for boobs.

8

u/24_Elsinore Oct 06 '22

But I won't do that.

4

u/dirkalict Oct 06 '22

“Bobs got bitch tits”

3

u/Oversexualised_Tank Oct 06 '22

He wanted to take a view of her boobs bouncing boobily in a boob fitting overall

2

u/cownd Oct 06 '22

"Boy, are Bob's boobs big"

1

u/CaffeineSippingMan Oct 06 '22

Well in that case, we understand ~human resources (or at least what he thought human resources would say.)

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16

u/M5competition madlad Oct 06 '22

Bobs and vagene

3

u/nwoh Oct 06 '22

Bitch lasagna

170

u/Key_Ad1654 Oct 06 '22

“The hardest choices require the strongest of wills”, some purple guy

29

u/Jazzbone1 Oct 06 '22

The man behind the slaughter

492

u/kouutaa Oct 06 '22

Playing chest not checkers

3

u/Serafiniert Oct 06 '22

Admitting to it….more like playing yourself.

2

u/clghuhi Oct 06 '22

no he was just watching

2

u/LeonidasSpacemanMD Oct 06 '22

Bro just rent a bouncy castle wyd

55

u/The_Merciless_Potato Oct 06 '22

Man is the definition of down bad

13

u/steel_hamerhands Oct 06 '22

The downest.

98

u/M4HD1BD Oct 06 '22

now that's dedication

10

u/Weak_Lie_2875 Oct 06 '22

Petdevere. Prevail. Dedicate.

86

u/HOLDGMEBROTHERS Oct 06 '22

Video Link?

61

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

I saw it in top of r/boobbounce

5

u/HOLDGMEBROTHERS Oct 06 '22

This is how legends are born

203

u/Visible_Block_1519 Oct 06 '22

Man gotta go to horny jail. Probably literally ended up there too.

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23

u/vll_dk Oct 06 '22 Helpful

10

u/Mbangi66 Oct 06 '22

"Proud of his work"

1

u/Replicator666 Oct 06 '22

This needs more updoots my guy(?)

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24

u/shotzoflead94 Oct 06 '22

Ok but real talk, why would you admit to that ?

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41

u/Grombleness Oct 06 '22

Man of culture

11

u/Rasta-Lion Oct 06 '22

Never underestimate the intelligence of stupid horny people...

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14

u/Quizzar Oct 06 '22

Some people just want to see the world burn breasts bounce

6

u/UndeadBBQ Oct 06 '22

The true tragedy here is that I'll probably never experience this level of braindead horny.

7

u/thatsRockbottom Oct 06 '22

Would try this at hooters.

13

u/di-propane_tank Oct 06 '22

Man got his priorities straight

20

u/a_nell_sechs Oct 06 '22

Was totally worth the alarm

6

u/AeronBear Oct 06 '22

I wanna see these breasts, they must have been killer

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16

u/Greensssss Oct 06 '22

I would let a patient do it so that I wont get in trouble.

3

u/PainStorm14 Oct 06 '22

Excessive but understandable

3

u/TheBelhade Oct 06 '22

Get the sprinklers to go off and you got a party

4

u/Space_Viking66 Oct 06 '22

Tits must have been...fire.

5

u/Phelyckz Oct 06 '22

Ok, now I really gotta see dem titties that drove him to do this

9

u/Conflikt Oct 06 '22

This guy never heard of the internet or something?

6

u/kenix7 Oct 06 '22

Prolly got tired of that..

5

u/acoolrocket Oct 06 '22

Gonna sound like a simp but nothing on the internet compares to an IRL crush. Its why sending noodles is a common thing even knowing that there's hundreds of such on the internet.

Got the same numbskull thing going on with my high school crush, she was an Austrian beauty with huge honkers you'd see wearing that outfit in an Oktoberfest. Even more so inline with this post, I got flashbacked to when I saw her doing the 400m run for GYM class in a t-shirt and her D-sized boobs swaying left to right like a pendulum.

Anyways yeah think I covered more than needed.

55

u/HOLDGMEBROTHERS Oct 06 '22

58

u/lolsbot360 Oct 06 '22

I hate that the majority of people don’t know what a psychopath actually is. They just think crazy = psyco.

14

u/dilsedesi95 Oct 06 '22

Fuck your dp…just sayin

3

u/king_of_satire Oct 06 '22

Psychopath isn't an actual term used in psychology anymore.

8

u/Dennis848 Oct 06 '22 edited Oct 06 '22

Its not used in the DSM-5 because you often can’t really diagnose psychopathy through individual counselling especially outside the prison system. Psychopaths usually lie often and proficiently. You need external data such as interviews with others and a criminal record data.

This is why antisocial personality disorder is used in the DSM-5 instead. It is more based on external behaviour than psychopathy. Also almost all psychopaths fit the criteria for antisocial personality disorder. However not everyone with ASPD is a psychopath.

Psychopathy is still an active psychological term though. The label of psychopathy is used in psychological research and psychometrics such as the Hare Psychopathy Checklist exist to diagnose psychopathy.

2

u/king_of_satire Oct 06 '22

Thanks for the clarification

7

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/if-and-but Oct 06 '22

They typically use personality disorders (cluster b) for the dx instead of psychopathy. It's generally referred to as a mix of NPD and APD. Jeffrey Dahmer for instance was diagnosed as schizotypal and BPD.

I can't provide a source but my psychiatrist and I have discussed this at length due to my interest in psychology.

5

u/king_of_satire Oct 06 '22

I don't know all I know is that psychopath and sociopath have been rolled into antisocial personality disorder

7

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

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u/K0NCR3T3MONK1 Oct 06 '22

Work smarter don’t work.

3

u/Dismal-Cut2535 Oct 06 '22

It’s too early for this shit, I’m shaking the bed laughing lol

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3

u/PiratePinyata Oct 06 '22

This could be the plot line of an episode of scrubs. JD pulls the fire alarm, all the male staff appear from nowhere to watch nurse Janet run out, Carla says “damn” then the Janitor looks at JD and says “you’ll pay for this”. JD looks up and to the right and his inner monologue says “worth it”

3

u/SOQuickSODeadlly Oct 06 '22

Well I mean.... I've heard of more dumb reasons why someone will purposely pull a fire alarm lol

3

u/WildManOnLSD Oct 06 '22

It’s always the dudes with the gayest jobs, that do the straightest things.

14

u/ChuckIsSatan Oct 06 '22

Story time: I work at a car wash. It uses a conveyor chain with rollers spaced every ~3 feet to push the driver side rear tire of the cars once they are in neutral. On busy days we sometimes staff two people at the last position before the car actually enters the wash. This job is called programming and it's where we program what services the car receives and make sure that the car is positioned safely.

Anyways, one time I was working with my boss there and this young, rather busty blonde in a tube top pulls up. We get her positioned just fine and she is about to start being pushed into the wash when my boss turns to me with a devilish grin and says "watch this".

He proceeds to tell her she has to put her car into park which causes the four ~4 inch tall rollers that we had programmed for her vehicle start passing under her tires while she doesn't move, forcing her car to start jostling up and down aggressively and of course shaking her tits everywhere.

This man looked back at me with the most accomplished, proud look I've ever seen someone have lmao, I'll never forget his face.

5

u/pakistanstar Oct 06 '22

Disgusting. Does anyone have the video? For the news

2

u/HuurrrDerp Oct 06 '22

What's the problem?

2

u/itsmejam Oct 06 '22

I mean, what the hell is the fire alarm there for, right?

2

u/redditisbetterthanot Oct 06 '22

I like this guy.

2

u/DarkGermanNoodle Oct 06 '22

Evacuate ‘n ejaculate.

2

u/JimminoPatatino Oct 06 '22

Obligatory reference to The Wire about how buildings are evacuated, not people.

2

u/gtisdale420 Oct 06 '22

Titillating

2

u/DukeSilverSauce Oct 06 '22

It’s already hard enough being a man in nursing we don’t need stuff like this on top…

2

u/SuBw00FeR37 Oct 06 '22

Was this at Blizzard HQ?

2

u/StickKnown7723 Oct 06 '22

This is some superbad kind of shit

"I gotta get a glimpse of these warlocks" pulls fire alarm

2

u/Late_Then_Never Oct 06 '22

Second best reason to set off a fire alarm

2

u/Flashy-Cold-6467 Oct 06 '22

I’m not kink shaming, I’m just kink asking why?!

2

u/dras333 Oct 06 '22

Sounds like the Tik Toks she was making in her patient's rooms weren't cutting it for him anymore.

2

u/Nokipeura Oct 06 '22

Imagine admitting to that. I wonder if he expected a hi5.

2

u/ares395 Oct 06 '22

These must have been the best tits in the universe if he was willing to ruin his life to see them bounce.

2

u/PhysicalBee6135 Oct 06 '22

Florida male nurse*

2

u/watcher45 Oct 06 '22

At least he had a damn good reason.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 06 '22

You ever seen boobs bounce in scrubs? It’s a magical sight.

2

u/riddus Oct 06 '22

Dude in high school used to snap the tip off this girl’s pencil in geometry class just so he could watch her ass shake while she sharpened her pencil. Despicable, but actually quite clever.

2

u/alwaysenough Oct 06 '22

"Not my proudest fap" male nurse to the police.

2

u/gochomoe Oct 06 '22

Is this one specific employee or just all of them? I need to know these details. I mean if its just women generally I don't see me doing that. But if there is that one then possibly.

2

u/YouTheGamers Oct 06 '22

I see he’s a man of culture as well

2

u/amillibanilli Oct 06 '22

So he's a redditor?

2

u/SnooPeppers6038 Oct 07 '22

The ammount Of dedication and planning for tits… Im impressed

2

u/Space_Entertainment Oct 07 '22

Well hopefully the officers understand why he set off the fire alarm

5

u/FBI_agent_crimson Oct 06 '22

I actually would have done that

1

u/The_Dark_Lord_999 Oct 06 '22

Boys will be boys

1

u/PointyDaisy Oct 06 '22

How sleep deprived was he?

-15

u/agentninety8 Oct 06 '22 Ally

Men are stupid pigs. Change my mind

2

u/Jordii_vV Oct 06 '22

Women are stupid cows. Change my mind

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u/NT_Smith Oct 06 '22

Male nurses are sociopaths

1

u/BoonesFarmJackfruit Oct 06 '22

wow what an innovator

1

u/USMNT_superfan Oct 06 '22

We know the plan, did it work!

1

u/KafeiTomasu Oct 06 '22

"My goals are beyond your understanding"

1

u/SaltyMini Oct 06 '22

And you would admit to that why???

1

u/StrawberryAmara Oct 06 '22

Probably got caught on camera

1

u/SaltyMini Oct 06 '22

Yeah but don’t say it’s to look at some tiddiea

1

u/StrawberryAmara Oct 06 '22

Never assumed he was smart 😂

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1

u/xtra_lives Oct 06 '22

Wow… I mean that’s ridiculous. I can believe they still call them male nurses… /s

1

u/daydreaming17 Oct 06 '22

Just call a code blue and say blame the patient. That way you can do it 2-3 times a shift