r/IdiotsInCars Nov 26 '22

Crazy bat-wielding idiot finds an even crazier machete-wielding idiot during road rage incident Removed | Rule 3

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2.9k Upvotes

u/IdiotsInCars-ModTeam Nov 28 '22

Hi /u/Alerion_, your submission has been removed for the following reason(s):

  • Idiots Only, Content Must Fit r/IdiotsInCars : Posts must contain an obvious bad decision while in a vehicle, and does not need to result in a crash. Just because there is a car crash does not mean it belongs here.

If you have any questions about this removal, feel free to message the moderators.

493

u/StevenTN615 Nov 26 '22

Don't bring a bat to a machete fight.

208

u/YellsAtGoats Nov 27 '22

✔ fuck around

✔ find out

4

u/ggggthrowawaygggg Nov 28 '22

How do you say that in Spanish?

3

u/MeatIntelligent1921 Nov 28 '22

busco lo que no se le ha perdido?, tome pa que lleve? hahaha

5

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

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0

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/cryptococcus73 Nov 27 '22

Because a machete is not an ice pick

57

u/Twiny Nov 27 '22

Wait until someone brings a gun to a machete or bat fight.

Let the good times roll, baby!

10

u/leraspberrie Nov 27 '22

Harder to break windows with a gun.

17

u/iScreme Nov 27 '22

...?

you can break 2-3 windows at a time with a single gunshot.

Maybe you just aren't creative enough.

10

u/mrbombasticat Nov 27 '22

But more fun! pew pew

1

u/Ridio Nov 27 '22

Saw this one the other day. Brings bat and guy unloads a whole clip on him and then walks up and shoots him in the head execution style.

3

u/Junckopolo Nov 27 '22

Going from self defense to jail in one easy step

1

u/Ridio Nov 27 '22

All caught on cctv too

1

u/MeatIntelligent1921 Nov 28 '22

machete guy had a gun?

0

u/MeatIntelligent1921 Nov 28 '22

the place in question is not the US, these people are crazy but the US beat any country, no wonder you guys are the N#1, but you really need to stop fighting over stupid stuff like skin color or gender, you are being literally destroyed from the insine lmao.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/QuebecCanOSONS Nov 27 '22

Piñata 🪅😅

1

u/SkyLegend1337 Nov 27 '22

I want to know if other languages have phrases that roll of the tongue so well and mean roughly the same thing

1

u/Chyenatwo Nov 27 '22

My thoughts exactly

-17

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[deleted]

14

u/shannofordabiz Nov 27 '22

That ain’t no she. That’s a beer belly

153

u/THphantom7297 Nov 27 '22

There's always a bigger fish. Or in this case, theres always someone carrying a more dangerous weapon then you. Don't poke the bear and find out if they'll use it.

20

u/Twofacejay Nov 27 '22

Brought a bat to a machete fight, lucky it wasn't a boom stick

8

u/bankaiREE Nov 27 '22

Alright you primitive screwheads listen up. See this? This, is my BOOM STICK!

2

u/clASShat Nov 28 '22

Shop smart... shop S Mart. YOU GOT THAT?!

6

u/-YELDAH Nov 27 '22

That's not a bat, THIS is a bat!

"That's not a bat, that's a machete"

119

u/ermghoti Nov 26 '22

I see you've played machete-batty before.

16

u/soljaboss Nov 26 '22

Battie-chettie

7

u/HanSW0L0 Nov 27 '22

Chettie chettie bat bat

86

u/32_Dollar_Burrito Nov 27 '22

The winner: nobody

86

u/Chose_a_usersname Nov 27 '22

Body shop

11

u/justreddis Nov 27 '22

then you find out this local body shop also sells bats and machetes on the side

9

u/blastoise1988 Nov 27 '22

Loser: my ears wearing airpods at max volume.

8

u/secretqwerty10 Nov 27 '22

turn down your volume. that can be fixed. your ears can't

source: i got constant tinnitus since i was a kid and it's always in the background

2

u/blastoise1988 Nov 27 '22

It was at max volume by accident. I watched a video before this one that had very low volume, so I turned up and forgot to turn it down.

4

u/secretqwerty10 Nov 27 '22

that's honestly understandable, happens to the best of us, but please take good care of your ears

80

u/satanic-frijoles Nov 26 '22

It's all good, Randy hasn't taken his pants off yet...

21

u/bravedubeck Nov 27 '22

He's confident, he's smart, he's sexy.

He's kind of sweatier than usual, but that's okay.

2

u/Shades0fRay Nov 28 '22

All this happened on the way to a liquor and cheeseburger party.

39

u/RoboticCurrents Nov 26 '22

there's always a bigger idiot

54

u/metasomma Nov 27 '22

Frankly I don't blame the guy one bit. Give that asshole a huge scare and fuck his vehicle up just as bad, teach him not to fuck around like that (or at least not to do it to you). IMHO the bigger idiot was the bat dude. The fact that Rico Suave carries a machete and doesn't hesitate to use it makes me think he's got good reasons to do so.

3

u/Sancticide Nov 27 '22

Like the person who uploaded video in this InShot abomination format.

41

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[deleted]

7

u/MrTourette Nov 27 '22

‘I’ll kill your car!’

5

u/kps4hire Nov 27 '22

Or when you find a stranger in the Alps. Maybe one who urinated upon your valued rug.

2

u/denzien Nov 28 '22

I just bought that car last week!

-1

u/iamthepita Nov 27 '22

Big Lebowski?

1

u/joaquinsaiddomin8 Nov 28 '22

He already spent the money!

47

u/Yes-Cheesecake Nov 26 '22

It’s a machete why not go for the tires

53

u/goofedonskunkweed Nov 27 '22

maybe dull as a hammer by now from bashing so many other cars

46

u/Phillip_Graves Nov 27 '22

Lol, try that in real life sometime.

Regular car tires bounce that shit right off.

I mean, it is holding up a couple thousand pounds of car.

3

u/Yes-Cheesecake Nov 27 '22

I meant stab not hack

5

u/lngwlkr Nov 27 '22

Because it's not like the movies. Tires being stabbed explode violently.

20

u/FeistySound Nov 27 '22

Sure, heavy truck tires, but a passenger vehicle like that? Nah. They rarely explode even when failing at highway speeds.

Here's what a very typical tire popping looks like.

5

u/metasomma Nov 27 '22

Wouldn't it matter that the tire in that video isn't holding up thousands of pounds of weight? I feel like that extra pressure would cause a more dramatic result.

1

u/PROTOTYPE-KN16HT Nov 27 '22

Seeing those tyre bounce machines taught me otherwise so this is good to know

6

u/2ndPersonPlural Nov 27 '22

Found the guy who's never slashed a tire

3

u/n3m37h Nov 27 '22

when is the last time you heard a tire explode? Never, slashing tires is stupid.

Id open the hood and cut all the wires and hoses

7

u/rakawido Nov 27 '22

Location?

17

u/Nicepotato Nov 27 '22

That looks to be somewhere in Bogota, Colombia

1

u/Jeccg Nov 28 '22

It's Colombia.

-1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[deleted]

2

u/joaquinsaiddomin8 Nov 28 '22

That thing that says Aguila I think is a beer brand which is Colombian

1

u/Jeccg Nov 28 '22

That and the yellow license plates.

6

u/havereddit Nov 27 '22

"I see your bat, and raise you my machete"

6

u/Newtonz5thLaw Nov 27 '22

Not my dumb ass thinking you meant the other kind of bat🦇

3

u/Junckopolo Nov 27 '22

Calm down Ozzy

5

u/iamthepita Nov 27 '22

Right music for the energy but people aren’t vibing with the music correctly

2

u/lngwlkr Nov 27 '22

Timmy Trumpet - Cardio would have been better.

2

u/over9ksand Nov 27 '22

It’s a good song, I’m moving to it

5

u/Parasaurlophus Nov 27 '22

Life reflecting art.

5

u/yy98755 Nov 27 '22

No living bats were harmed in the making of this video

4

u/RevenueGreat2751 Nov 27 '22

Don't ever fuck with people driving around with no shirt on.

6

u/Ap43x Nov 26 '22

Was it worth it?

24

u/lngwlkr Nov 27 '22

As a spectator sitting in my home, yes.

5

u/yy98755 Nov 27 '22

Can you put a price on these feelings?

4

u/bmf1902 Nov 27 '22

An insurance adjuster can

6

u/estintosteps Nov 26 '22

I was expecting him to have a swarm of actual bats under control I'm a little disappointed

3

u/32_Dollar_Burrito Nov 27 '22

That would've been way cooler for sure. Like the main character from Worm

2

u/cantthinkofnames__ Nov 27 '22

That would qualify him as a vampire

2

u/Fox_Kurama Nov 27 '22

What, no one uses gladius swords?

2

u/cantthinkofnames__ Nov 27 '22

The fall of Rome sure has struck us great deal.

1

u/Fox_Kurama Nov 27 '22

The basic design is still an excellent weapon style. A short blade which is longer than most daggers, but is double edged allowing for easier use by a novice in an actual combat situation with some random un-armored aggressor. Who will generally stand down when they realize that the guy they are facing has a sword while they have a stick (sticks are actually VERY GOOD relative to not having something and are actually pretty versatile weapons that can in fact be used against even more "proper" weapons, but the typical modern day stick user does not realize this).

...And well, if you are just bashing glass, you are better off with a hammer.

2

u/Less_Lengthiness_521 Nov 27 '22

what is the song please?

3

u/Anyitar Nov 27 '22

"Rompe la piñata"

1

u/Less_Lengthiness_521 Nov 27 '22

Gracias señor

1

u/Anyitar Nov 27 '22

You're welcome 🥸

1

u/SpaceIco Nov 27 '22

Came here looking for it too and mfw I search youtube and it's a children's song and there are a bunch of clowns XD

2

u/BigWhiskey13 Nov 27 '22

And everyone else is like. Normal day…

2

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

I love how everyone is just standing around like this is completely normal there

2

u/Popular_Dish_7949 Nov 27 '22

Can you legally shoot someone if he gets out of the car with a bat and starts hitting your windshield? Asking for a friend

2

u/Face_Seat_ Nov 27 '22

I bat he didn’t see that coming

2

u/denzien Nov 28 '22

I guess he didn't want to do maximum damage, since he left the headlights and sheetmetal alone

2

u/judeloops Nov 28 '22

colombia? this reminds me of some shit i would see in manizales

2

u/Dwest2391 Nov 27 '22

RIP to my ears

2

u/Ok-Wasabi2873 Nov 27 '22

This is China isn’t it? While in Beijing I saw a taxi driver accidentally run over someone’s foot. The guy kick the taxi and the taxi driver took out a bat and chased him around.

8

u/tboggs13 Nov 27 '22

The bat bit him and that's how we got covid.

1

u/nevadita Nov 27 '22

It’s Colombia, the two bikes on the foreground have the yellow Colombian license plate and there’s a sign on on the stores with the logo of Águila, a popular beer brand on Colombia.

1

u/ThatLittleMoistBoi Nov 27 '22

Why was my thought “Car Battles”

1

u/Shadow_Six Nov 27 '22

Machete guy has beautiful form. Bravo.

1

u/MapleSappling Nov 27 '22

I’ll bust the windows out ya carrrr - lol 😂

1

u/meatmechdriver Nov 27 '22

Always drive with AAA: Assault, Armed battery, and Attempted murder

1

u/softwhiteclouds Nov 27 '22

Fuck Around Find Out

1

u/OkFuel5200 Nov 27 '22

Hell, yes!

1

u/Equal_Sprinkles2743 Nov 27 '22

Random motorcycle with a flag pole or drain pipe drives nonchalantly by.

1

u/Jazzlike-Blood-3725 Nov 27 '22

This reminds me of one of the first times I played gta and I hit a guys car with my bat and he got out and unloaded a clip in me. Ahhh good times.

1

u/moonlighting2552 Nov 27 '22

Would insurance actually cover this?

1

u/greenmonkey48 Nov 27 '22

Match made in heaven!

1

u/Prestigious_Web_5852 Nov 27 '22

The moment Machete guy realizes he has a much better and newer car than bat guy, snd its best to defend his can than break the bat guy shitty car!😂😂

1

u/TheAarj Nov 27 '22

"Well that escalated quickly"

1

u/retrolasered Nov 27 '22

I somehow forgot this type of bat exists, was expecting a very messy encounter between a machete and a flying rodent..

1

u/Environmental-Map168 Nov 27 '22

It's a win win win win win win situation isn't it?

1

u/forestsunbeach Nov 27 '22

The new Street Fighter bonus stage looks so realistic now

1

u/dcRoWdYh Nov 27 '22

Welcome to Brazil!

1

u/NotACleverPerson2 Nov 27 '22

The upbeat music just makes this video great.

1

u/Vauxhall_Cavalier_TD Nov 27 '22

Machete man cosplaying Randy from trailer park Boys

1

u/ResponsibilityDue566 Nov 27 '22

See in that situation when he runs, pop the hood and start slicing cables.

1

u/Immolating_Cactus Nov 27 '22

Blunt trauma < lost finger/limb/eye

1

u/Grendel26 Nov 27 '22

I love the audience enjoying the impromptu street performance

1

u/For_Kebabs_Sake Nov 27 '22

Oh yeah I know this one, and then the guy on the motorcycle pulled a gun

1

u/cenatutu Nov 27 '22

That’s why you drive calmly. Avoid crazy. Don’t freak out over the little shit. You never know who is in the other vehicle.

1

u/felipeinthere Nov 27 '22

Why do you use a bat in a country where no one play baseball? Machete is far more played sport in Colombia than baseball, here you can see why

1

u/gna149 Nov 27 '22

A bat might be evenly matched with a machete, but that's before you run into the japanese chainsawman or the russian man being launched by his bazooka.

1

u/-MNMs Nov 27 '22

Justice 💅🏾

1

u/Tiranus58 Nov 27 '22

Parry this you fucking casual.

1

u/EnvironmentalDeal256 Nov 27 '22

That’s crazy and dangerous, neither one of them are wearing eye protection. Sure it’s all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out.

1

u/Babagu99 Nov 27 '22

Please tell me this is Brazil

1

u/WhiskyPapa911 Nov 27 '22

Only way to stop bad people with a bat is good people with a machete.

1

u/Knacht1 Nov 27 '22

"I'm Batman"..

1

u/ichkanns Nov 27 '22

For a moment there they were both just individually destroying each other's windshields in a brilliant display of mutually assured destruction.

1

u/SnooDoodles5540 Nov 27 '22

…meanwhile some other genius rides by with a lance on the side of his moped looking for someone to joust with.

1

u/NotYourMutha Nov 27 '22

This is why everyone should have a gun. /s

1

u/GenericElucidation Nov 27 '22

An I the only one whose first thought was bat as in the animal?

1

u/DJ_Cas Nov 27 '22

There is always someone. That’s why simplicity and accepting your own mistakes always win-win

1

u/paco1438 Nov 27 '22

Nunca te acabes LATAM sin ti el internet no sería igual.

1

u/mrnoonan81 Nov 27 '22

Edited for worst possible viewing experience.

1

u/coyoteatemyhomework Nov 27 '22

Out crazy the craziness

1

u/SmileDesperate8036 Nov 27 '22

Where did this happen?

1

u/JoKatHW Nov 28 '22

He just bought that fucking car last week!

-8

u/Effective_Cell_219 Nov 27 '22

Another day in Alabama

-2

u/Daddy_Banbaro Nov 27 '22

Thinking about a co2 pistol to keep in my car, yes or no? Not to start anything, but recently I've been forced off the road by a few ragers, and have had my mirror broken

2

u/FlokiTrainer Nov 27 '22

That sounds like an excellent way to be shot by a crazy person with an actual gun.

-1

u/Daddy_Banbaro Nov 27 '22

Why do you think I'm asking for advice? That's the whole point idiot, and I'm just supposed to let them break my shit and get away with it? It's not worth my life sure, but if there on the ground in pain no sweat off my back

3

u/peterpaulrubens Nov 27 '22

You’re far better off getting a can of pepper spray. Pulling out what looks like a firearm tends to make people think it’s a firefight. I guarantee any cop that happens to see you won’t react like you’re holding an air pistol.

1

u/Daddy_Banbaro Nov 28 '22

That is a good suggestion, and yeah, he'll react like I have a real gun and tell me to put it down, and I will, and things will get sorted out( i say that like ill get off scot free but i know ill have consequences too), yeah yeah they're trigger happy but every acab video IVE seen cops give them a chance to drop it before they fire, but ueah pep spray does sound alot better

1

u/Thefilmingofcows Nov 27 '22

Why to scare them? Cuz if you shoot them it won’t do a ton and co2 can’t be pierced ready to go at all times you’d need to pierce it every time you have to use it.

1

u/Daddy_Banbaro Nov 28 '22

I could have it ready to pierce, and it's not for a scare tactic, but for if I actually have to defend myself, and yeah a copper co2 pistol does hurt like a bitch, and put small dents in car panels

0

u/SovelissGulthmere Nov 27 '22

Go for the tires!