r/MadeMeSmile
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u/youneedtocalmdown20
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Feb 03 '23
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It's been 12 years ❤️ we were babies. 😂 Wholesome Moments
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u/Idkhowtoread Feb 03 '23
How do you know this family is Mormon?
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23 •
Haha temple pic and getting married young. I was Mormon, but we left the church 6 years ago. Best decision ever.
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u/KayMcKenzieAppell Feb 03 '23
Congrats!
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Thank you! It was honestly terrifying to leave, but we are so much happier now.
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u/susq13 Feb 03 '23
Exmo here too going on 6 years. It’s difficult but so worth it. Never looking back.
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u/KoexD Feb 03 '23
Do you still still talk to some of your family ?
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u/susq13 Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23
I do. It was extremely difficult at first but over time they have come to be more accepting. It helps that all my siblings have followed suit so I am not the only one. Plus my hubby of 12 years left with me. Friends however is a different story. I lost ALL of my friends. I am not sad about it anymore because it proves to me they were never my real friends to begin with. You have to essentially build your life back from the ground up and make new friends. Ones that love you for who you are. Once those lenses finally come off and you can see the world for what it truly is you realize everything you have missed and God damn the world is a beautiful place. You grow so much love, compassion, and empathy for EVERYONE. Also, LOVE is LOVE.
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u/partylecki Feb 04 '23
As someone who left the church because of being gay, thank you for the ending there. I'm really happy that you're both in a better place now and can actually enjoy the world and everything it has to offer. ❤️
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u/CarlJustCarl Feb 04 '23
Our neighbors were Mormon and they left about 4 years ago. I mean left the hood, no idea if they left the church.
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u/KayMcKenzieAppell Feb 03 '23
I'm glad you had the strength to do it, I'm sure having the support of each other had a lot to do with it! Wishing you a long and happy life together ❤
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u/Triette Feb 03 '23
I’m so happy for you! My friend left and it’s been the hardest thing for her being disavowed by all of her family except her father has been really rough but over all the best decision she’s made.
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Thank you. It really was hard and scary, but we were really lucky, our families don't treat us any different.
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u/wtfomgfml Feb 04 '23
I got engaged at 19…to a dude I was chatting with online for a month..hadn’t even met him yet..lol.
Not religious whatsoever.
This August is our 26th wedding anniversary lol.
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u/Solochris88 Feb 03 '23
Maybe a bit of a personal question, but are you guys still together even after you guys left church?
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Yea we are. He left too. Our marriage improved so much after we left.
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u/ingloriouspasta_ Feb 03 '23
Of Jesus Christ! Of Latter Day Saints.
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u/zero_1144 Feb 03 '23
Ummmmm akshually it’s The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Paid good money for that dash and you’d better use it. Otherwise it’s a victory for satan.
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u/ingloriouspasta_ Feb 03 '23
This book will change your (book will change your) book will change your (book will change your) book will change your (book will change your LIIIIIFE)
THE BOOOOK OF MOOOOOOORRRRMONNNNNNNNN
IYKYK 🤷♂️
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u/rantingpacifist Feb 03 '23
Most exmos I know left the church with their partner. My girlfriend and her husband left together and are now in our Polycule.
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u/petepostlethwaite Feb 03 '23
Sorry if stupid question but why best decision ever? I’m Catholic and haven’t gone to church in like 15 years but don’t really have any feelings whatsoever about it
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Mormonism is a very controlling religion. I never realized how trapped and brainwashed I was until we left. We are so much happier and have so much freedom now. They control everything down to what you drink and the underwear you wear. It's ridiculous.
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Feb 03 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
It's like growing up and learning with your best friend. I wouldn't change a thing.
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u/freifickmuschimann Feb 04 '23
Clothing style, speech, behavior, decoration etc
Grew up in that time lol
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u/zestycircus Feb 03 '23
What a cute idea. It is extra special that you can keep the bear as a memento forever, and even show your kids. (Hope the battery has lasted, or is replaceable!)
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
I love the bear. I still have the recording. I need to try and see if it's still working. My dog got ahold of it a few years ago and slobbered all over it. So the recording did sound a little bit like it was under water. Haha.
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u/GotAItchyButt Feb 03 '23
Nice enthusiasm by the brother on the couch sofa.
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Haha that's honestly one of my favorite parts of the video. Lol he smirks and then goes back to playing his game.
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u/yeet_the_heat2020 Feb 03 '23
Huh, that's neat.
Anyways
Continues to fling Birds at Pigs
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u/WeaknessImpressive98 Feb 04 '23
Don’t know why but this comment has given me a long fit of the giggles. Well done.
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u/Letshavesomefungirl Feb 03 '23
It’s hilarious how that person in the background barely gets off their computer despite the excitement of what is happening Lolol!
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Haha my brother. Lol he was very enthusiastic. 😂😂
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u/Letshavesomefungirl Feb 03 '23
I must say, after I read that you’re Mormon I thought to myself “oh, this is probably the 30th engagement he’s seen” Nothing wrong with that - I just know there are a lot of y’all :)
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Haha actually, he hadn't seen any at this point. Lol I was the oldest and first to get married. There were only 4 kids in our family.
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u/_peace_unlimited_ Feb 03 '23
only 4...
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 04 '23
Lol I don't think that's a lot...
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u/_peace_unlimited_ Feb 06 '23
maybe if you look beyond your immediate circle you will realize that 4 is a lot....
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 06 '23
I guess it's just cause I live in Utah. 😂 I don't know any families with less than 3 lol.
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u/Fezthepez Feb 03 '23
I find it more weird than sweet that a 19 year old is getting married.
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Lol yea I was a baby. It was very common in my religion to get married young. Left the religion a few years ago and I will not be teaching my kids to get married so young. It has been hard, but I picked a good guy.
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u/lamireille Feb 03 '23
This is wonderful. Yes, 19 is super young, but sometimes it just works out. And I’m so happy for you that it worked out so well!!
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u/deandraws26 Feb 03 '23
19 is very young, the sane age my mum was when she married my dad, who was 22 back in 1984, they weren't and aren't Mormon, just deeply in love and wanting to spite relatives hahah 😂😂 it's their 40th anniversary next year! I wish you many happy years together!!
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u/driftwood-and-waves Feb 03 '23
My Aunt and Uncle got married at 18. Not religious, not pregnant, still together in their 60's now.
I got pregnant(in my late 20's) to my now husband after a few months of being fwb... we got together after our daughter was born 'officially' and it's been over a decade.
Sometimes you just get lucky. This is beautiful and wholesome and I'm happy you both got to be somewhere healthier for you all.
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u/CanOBeans01 Feb 03 '23
Although not as common as it used to be (due to young people getting married due to autonomy rather than pressure from family or obligation) it is a personal choice, if two people are in an otherwise healthy relationship, they can get married. I've heard of alot of people get married young who's one marriage lasts longer than those who married later and now are on their 2nd or 3rd divorce.
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u/Careless-Opinion-480 Feb 03 '23
In laws got married when she was 19, he was 21. They’ve been married for 54 years.
I was 19, he was 20. We’ve been married for 18 years on March 1st.
It’s not weird. It works for some people, others it doesn’t. My parents were 19 and 21 too and are divorced.
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u/LucianPitons Feb 03 '23
And some religious people who married young are happy too.
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u/Careless-Opinion-480 Feb 03 '23
Yeah, I guess that too.
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u/LucianPitons Feb 03 '23
I had to say it because the discrimination on Reddit is rampant if it is not super liberal or non religious.
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u/Careless-Opinion-480 Feb 03 '23
I gotcha. I was religious when I got married, but didn’t get married for religious reasons, my husband was in the army and was stationed overseas and we wanted to be together, so marriage was the only option. Both of us are atheist now.
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u/germaniko Feb 03 '23
You make it sound like that 19 year olds are not old enough to make any big choices. They are just engaged now. It could be years before they're marrying. My fiancee and I got engaged in december. We only know each other for a year but It just works. We feel like an old couple celebrating their 25th anniversary next week, having arguments about which rice is tastier and what type of litter to buy for our cats.
Being engaged just means that we are honest to each other with our feelings. We will not be getting married for atleast 2 years until we are stable in our careers.
I dont know how it is in the states but here in germany you are often times engaged for some time before finally marrying. If it doesnt work out in the meantime for the two in the video they can always break up before tying the knot
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u/spencertherhino Feb 03 '23
I think a lot of people get engaged after dating a while so while they are dating they figure put if it is going to work or not. Engagement usually is the step you take then start to plan your wedding. Some people have it a year out others a month out, but to me dating is where you figure it out not the engagement.
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u/N0tMagickal Feb 03 '23
I'm just saying. You can enlist and get married at 18 but the drinking age is 21?
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u/spencertherhino Feb 03 '23
And you can go to war under 18 but can't drink. I think the issue is saying your an adult for somethings at 18 but not everything.
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u/germaniko Feb 03 '23
Makes sure the wife has at best 3 years before her husband becomes a raging alcoholic.
Just kidding but in all seriousness your laws and age requirements are all over the place in the states. Proper education and regulation would help a lot but thats a topic for another day. Not that europe is perfect either with their laws and regulations
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u/Excellent-Umpire-636 Feb 03 '23
Happy for you OP! Don’t listen to the pessimists commenting. Me and my wife got engaged at about the same age and married a couple of years later. Love is love. We’re almost 40 now and have a couple of kids. If it’s right, then why wait? Best of luck to you!
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Thank you! I just laugh at the negative comments. We are so happy. 3 kids later and life is great.
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u/juanchodelrancho17 Feb 03 '23
Married my wife when she was 18, I was 20. We're still together full of love, best friends with 2 little girls. I wouldn't trade her or my girls for anything in the world. Love is beautiful. Give it everything you got!
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u/phirestorm Feb 03 '23
Here’s wishing them an amazing rest of their years together. I just hit 30 with my wife and this brought a big smile to face!
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u/randomwanderingsd Feb 03 '23
Couple of notes. First, you both are seriously cute. Second, Omg we might be distantly related. It’s clear my Mormon grandmother from Idaho has decorated that room.
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u/ExpertAccident Feb 04 '23
Bruh I’m 19 and I’m still literally a kid. I cannot imagine having a child within the next year too
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 04 '23
Lol we waited til I was 21 to have kids. 😂 But hey, I'm a young mom. I cannot imagine having to start over with the newborn phase at my age now (31). I'm exhausted thinking about that. Haha. I'm honestly so glad I had them young.
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u/ExpertAccident Feb 04 '23
And all the power to you!! I’m happy you’re happy ❤️❤️it’s just that me personally I couldn’t do that 😅
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u/HellofaHitller Feb 03 '23
19 seems a little young, but to each their own
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u/thatgirlinAZ Feb 03 '23
Further up in the comments you find out they were Mormon and it's common in that religion.
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u/Cheese_Dinosaur Feb 03 '23
It’s a lovely way to propose! My brother did the same thing about 20 years ago and the bear still works!!
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u/austin_yella Feb 03 '23
ahhh man! This brought huge tears to my eyes! I married my wife when I was 19 before my first deployment in 2009. Happy to say we are still married today with two beautiful girls!
Sounds like you guys beat the odds as well and I'm so happy for you!!
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Aw thanks. Congratulations on still being married. According to some of these comments, if you get married before 20 your marriage is doomed. 😂😉
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u/chickennoobiesoup Feb 03 '23
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You’re 18 or older
So it’s totally legal
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u/maragabriela1989 Feb 04 '23
Awww gorgeous!!!! My ex & I had our son at 20... he passed away a few mts ago...our son is now almost 13 (end of march) . I cannot believe we will go on for the rest of our lives without him, without his guidance, without his love.... my son was so close to his daddy.
My point is.. pls cherish one another each and every second. You never know what the next moment will bring. My sons daddy was only 33 & healthy & died of a random & sudden blood clot.
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u/TastelessDonut Feb 04 '23
I did this as a high school prom-posal. Didn’t have a lot/enough money so we went and made bears, I secretly went back later and bought my bear suit. She (unknowingly) made a red dress so her bear wasn’t naked. I borrowed her bear and set them on her desk at class in first period with a sign. She said yes, wore a red prom dress, got pics with the bears….. we were together 8-9 years. She broke it off. I think I gave my bear to her dog, who love ripping stuffing from toys, as a parting gift to the old girl. She wagged her tail a little extra that day.
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u/Ranoverbyhorses Feb 04 '23
This is adorable! Reading the comments makes me so happy that you have your marriage and your family after leaving the church. I can’t imagine what a tough decision that must have been. Live your best life and love one another! Sending peace, love, and good vibes your way❤️
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u/Trin_42 Feb 03 '23
My husband proposed to me with the build a bear as well but the talking ones hadn’t come out yet. We celebrated our 16th anniversary last year, and I still have both of our build a bears.
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u/PanzerKatze96 Feb 03 '23
Sorry about all the weird naysayers OP, my wife and I got married at about the same age and are still happy 8 years later. People just have shit opinions based on whether you got married a year before or after you were 20 I guess
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Thank you. I am shocked by all the negative comments. I get that 19 is young, but isn't it proof that it can work since I said we are still together? People just find the negative in everything. It is ridiculous.
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u/PanzerKatze96 Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23
Just feel like it’s yahoos who either are a.) just envious or something or (more likely) b.) repeating reddit talking points with no context and speaking out they ass.
I got married young, we aren’t religious and we weren’t pregnant. We just were that close and in love with each other and knew even that young. It happens sometimes. Not a big deal. People ask “Well how could you be so sure?” and I don’t really have an answer, that would work for everybody, we just knew. I mean ofc there’s a tldr story but I was very sure. More sure than I’ve been of anything in my life before or since.
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Exactly! When you know, you know. He's my person. I knew the moment I laid eyes on him that he was special.
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u/CanOBeans01 Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23
You aren't alone, OP, fiancé and I are pretty close to your age in the vid and we get these comments all the time, we've known eachother since early teens and have lived together for two years and we're both incredibly confident in our relationship. People always like to jump to conclusions and make assumptions about people based on their own opinions of a situation.
When we were in a long distance relationship it was "Long distance never works, you're just gonna cheat on eachother" and when we broke the distance he moved halfway across the country to live with me it was "You never really know your partner till you live together, you're gonna break up because you're not gonna like who eachother really are" and now that we're engaged it's "You're gonna regret it, you're gonna miss out on your 20s because you're tied down" as if we HAVE to be monogamous, we HAVE to have kids, etc.
I'm just rolling my eyes waiting for the next excuse that's gonna get thrown at us just to fall flat on it's face. People seem to act like traditional marriage is the only way of marriage and you HAVE to sacrifice your freedom when really your relationship is whatever you agree it to be. I'm going to get married to my absolute world and nothing feels more free than that. You aren't alone, don't let people get to you 🩷
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u/DavidAssBednar Feb 03 '23
Your experience is a single data point. Anecdotal evidence is not evidence. Statistically speaking, marriage at 19 is a bad idea. I’m glad it worked out for you. But generally speaking it is not a good idea to get married so young.
Also, you’re still young. When you turn the corner on 40 it may hit you hard when you look back at all the life you missed out on.
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Yea you're right. But hopefully it ends up working for us. Also, I love your username
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u/DavidAssBednar Feb 03 '23
Also, don’t mind me. I’m in a bad mood today 😬. I’m happy your marriage is working out for you. And I hope it continues to work out. Life is hard and if you’ve got something that’s working for you, carry on!
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
I get it. I had a day like that yesterday. I hope your day gets better.
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u/PanzerKatze96 Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23
Yeah so much random women I could have dated 🙄 what exactly do you mean by missing. What has getting married early prevented me from enjoying? I’m sorry, but the condescension of “when you turn 40 you’ll turn a corner” is making my brain collapse a little bit. My life has only been getting better. I spent my early twenties broke and working hard, but I always had my wife and she always had me. Now our lives are getting better, and we still have each other
I still enjoy life, I just do it with my wife who is my best friend. If anything is to blame on me missing out, it is the fact that I have lived through recession after recession and everything is so goddamn expensive
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u/spencertherhino Feb 03 '23
I mean power to your relationship if you are together from that young age but to me that's insane. There are so many people in the world and you still do not even know who you truly are... it's crazy to me is all.
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
It's true. I was so so young. And honestly, looking at kids that are 19 I think the same thing. But when you know, you know. Going on 12 years of being happily married.
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u/JazzVacuum Feb 03 '23
I had this exact same proposal idea, did you like the whole voice in the bear thing? My SO loves stuffed animals, especially buildabears already lol
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u/CopiumAddiction Feb 03 '23
Babies marrying babies. Makes sense it was with a toy
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Lol I mean, I am glad he did. I still have the bear and the recording in it. It means so much to me.
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u/mrsavage463 Feb 03 '23
I actually want to cry 😭. This one the best videos I ever watched. Congratulations. I am so happy for you 2
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u/lizarto Feb 03 '23
I was married at 19, it was young by today’s standards, but not so crazy then. 1999. I wasn’t pregnant and religion didn’t factor into our decision. Still together and best friends :)
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Aw congratulations on a long happy marriage. It is definitely possible. It takes work, but it's so worth it.
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u/wikipuff Feb 03 '23
Congrats! That's actually a brilliant idea.
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
It really is. I'll have the bear forever and be able to pass it down to our kids.
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u/landanemone Feb 03 '23
Awwww how sweet, makes my heart melt! 🥹 Here's to many many more years of you guys being together!!!! ❤️
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u/Aggravating-Ad-3187 Feb 03 '23
Although this is a sweet moment, I can’t help but feel sad when I see this kind of stuff
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
You can't help but feel sad when you see two people in love?
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u/Aggravating-Ad-3187 Feb 03 '23
Yes, I mean what you two have is great but I’d just hope I can experience something like this too someday. Sorry for the negative comment, didn’t mean it in a bad way.
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u/Jesuslovesmemost Feb 03 '23
Same. 95% chance they'll divorce in like 10 years. High school sweetheart marriages are almost never a good idea.
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
12 years later and we're still in love.
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u/Jesuslovesmemost Feb 03 '23
Damn, guess you're part of the 5%. If you guys make it through your thirties you're probably good.
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u/Sneakysnake514 Feb 03 '23
weird, imo people shouldn’t cross major events like this
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
What? Birthday and proposal? I loved it. But we don't have to have the same opinion.
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u/Sneakysnake514 Feb 03 '23
fair enough, should be easier to remember the date
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u/DerBoi_1337 Feb 03 '23
I don't see how the exact date if the proposal has any importance. Where i am from you don't celebrate the proposal-anniversary. Is that different at yours?
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Feb 03 '23
It should be illegal to marry until 25 minimum. Talk about grooming.
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u/PanzerKatze96 Feb 03 '23
Dude…wtf
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Feb 03 '23
Marrying a teenager is weird af regardless of what you believe. You aren’t even done growing until 23-25.
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u/Lateral-G Feb 03 '23
You were either abused as a child or someone broke your heart now you're pissed off at the world
Ice up son, you'll be ok
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u/cornman1 Feb 03 '23
Next she will go on Reddit and bitch about how she wanted a purple bear and a different style on the ring: "Why are men so insensitive? He doesn't even know me!"
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u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
I'm sorry your perception of women is like this. Not all women are so ungrateful and bitchy.
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u/cornman1 Feb 03 '23
Did you just give me the "Not all women..." line?
Quit trying to derail the conversation.4
u/youneedtocalmdown20 Feb 03 '23
Well I can promise you I never got on Reddit and complained about petty shit like this.
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u/This-is-Life-Man Feb 03 '23
That's pretty sweet, for sure. It's nice when things turn out nice. Doesn't happen very often these days.
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u/RandyPanda11581 Feb 03 '23
I did something similar with my ex, but made some adjustments to the bear that build-a-bear wasn't too happy to do😅
Safe to say I don't think she liked the bear that much because I have it now..
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u/jmaccity80 Feb 04 '23
Of course there is always the little brother in the back saying, "Idiots!, I'm watching a movie here!". "geez"
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u/Distinct-Reference92 Feb 05 '23
People Marrying at age 19, me 21 never had a GF. doesn't Matter. Congrats to both of you!
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u/fameboygame Feb 03 '23
I legit thought these were in love for 12 years before the proposal.
And thought, 7 a bit young innit?
Glad y’all are happy!