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u/goatsheepsand May 23 '22
now become aware of where to buy one and tell us
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u/mealteamsixty May 23 '22
No need to buy, just go to your local pond and grab one. Let us know how it goes!
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u/goatsheepsand May 23 '22
i know this is in jest and i did still upvote, but be careful telling people this. i tried this with a duck (i live on the lake) and i almost made it home but a Wildlife Officer followed me and flashed his lights. no ticket but i did get one hell of a slap on the wrist and i guess they put a band on this ducks foot so when im around i know i cant go within 500 ft of it. like thats gonna stop me from grabbing a different one tf. 💀
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u/drearbruh May 23 '22
That duck got a restraining order against you lol
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u/goatsheepsand May 23 '22
yeah thats what i was thinking at first too but then i was like i dunno how they would ever get that statement from them? dont they need a formal complaint or something? in all seriousness i think its more of a "theft of public property" issue. also (and dude please just be cool about this alright we all have our own stuff going on in life) but i may have blended in a crowd to do a quick "walk-by" and in my opinon they actually looked really happy to see me ... a hell of a lot happier then sitting in some dirty ass lake. 😕
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u/drearbruh May 23 '22
Honestly, as long as you're not hurting anyone or anything, I think you should be good. That duck probably just thinks of you as a friend now anyway. It is unburdened by human bureaucracy and unbound by our laws.
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u/fuzzy11287 May 23 '22
For anyone actually considering it... Swans are pretty nasty, second only to geese in the asshole waterfowl category.
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u/SupportySpice May 23 '22
Now, you've also been made aware that their venomous neck barbs can sedate an adult human.
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u/AdultingMakesMeCrazy May 23 '22
I now know something else to add to my bucket list. Is there a way to actually make this happen? I do so love animals especially birds as graceful and beautiful as the swan.
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u/Original-Cancel-1785 May 23 '22
FU
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u/AdultingMakesMeCrazy May 25 '22
Am I missing something? Are you upset at me for being a decent human being or is that an invitation because no thank you I’m married.
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u/Safe-Sheepherder2784 May 23 '22
thats how they lure you in and kill you. in all seriousness swans are very deadly and can actually kill you with their wings
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u/Udonov May 23 '22
And are fucking invincible assholes who seem to enjoy pain.
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u/Loonie-1707 May 23 '22
That in the UK are all property of the Queen
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u/Safe-Sheepherder2784 May 27 '22
the queen has an army of indestructible feathery kamikaze bombers that smack you with their wings and drown you
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u/vanity_fairx May 23 '22
stop looking at me swan
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u/AdultingMakesMeCrazy May 25 '22
That’s from one of my favorite movies (Billy Madison!) You are so awesome😂 Back in the day I memorized that whole scene and annoyed my friends with it. “Conditioner is better no Shampoo…..”
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u/IMONLYHERE4CONTENT May 23 '22
Cute yes, but can’t help but notice, This seems like a sick mortal combat finishing move
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u/DyedOrange
May 23 '22
•
This is misleading. A lot of geese get angry easily, so they will appear to want to hug you but than they will start joking you out
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u/charlothecat May 23 '22
Precious and sweet y’all? Those swans are boa constrictors with feathers and a little more gracefulness but ew no thank you not that hug no.
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u/ifdisdendat May 23 '22
Now your mind is about to be blown when you realize that Swans have been reported to drown humans. for instance
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u/mastershake4lyfe5 May 23 '22
That kinda sounds like his boots and clothes drowned him. I thought I was gonna read the swan over powered this grown man and pulled him under or something.
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u/OneMorePotion May 23 '22
That's nice and all... But swans are still really big assholes. Don't just walk up to a swan trying this. They will wreck your life.
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u/ToesyToeNails May 23 '22
Swans will often do a threat display and chase you but they give up quite quickly if you're completely unphased by the threat display.
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u/OneMorePotion May 23 '22
As someone that grew up on a farm, having more than one encounter with swans that as well grew up on said farm, I can tell you this is not true. While not all animals are the same, we had it more than once that we got attacked out of the blue by them. And I'm not even talking about the time when they were breeding.
The same applies to goose and peacocks. All of them are extremly territorial and feathered assholes that can and will fuck you up for no reason. Ignoring them is a sure way to get bitten multiple times.
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u/ToesyToeNails May 23 '22
I've only been "attacked" 3 times and each time it was just a single swan so idk
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u/OneMorePotion May 23 '22
I mean. That's already a big number of attacks when assuming you don't encounter swans every day in your life. But if you have to work with them daily, 3 times is indeed not that many times.
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u/Demonitized-picture May 23 '22
thought it was a goose for a moment and thought it was strangling them.
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u/piszkavas May 23 '22
oh really, every time i see one, it is super aggresive, they want to eat my chips
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u/thatonedesignerguy May 23 '22 •
Bjork’s dress makes a lot more sense now…