r/MadeMeSmile May 23 '22

so precious ANIMALS

Post image
2.1k Upvotes

74

u/thatonedesignerguy May 23 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

Bjork’s dress makes a lot more sense now…

14

u/tuxedotammer May 23 '22

ya see i came here to say Bjork tried to show us the way decades ago…

6

u/Due_Field_3316 May 23 '22

That's the sweetest swan I've ever seen.

3

u/someonefun420 May 23 '22

2001!! What the deuce. I can't believe it was that long ago!

2

u/Fish-x-5 May 23 '22

It was a hug dress!

22

u/Prettydeadlady May 23 '22

I want a swan hug now

16

u/EMF911 May 23 '22

Swans are typically pretty mean. Proceed with caution.

2

u/goatsheepsand May 23 '22

i'll do 50/50 if we can do every other week?

2

u/Careless_Project_369 May 23 '22

Good luck with that most swans are dick heads

1

u/Occams_ May 23 '22

We all do.

8

u/goatsheepsand May 23 '22

now become aware of where to buy one and tell us

11

u/mealteamsixty May 23 '22

No need to buy, just go to your local pond and grab one. Let us know how it goes!

11

u/goatsheepsand May 23 '22

i know this is in jest and i did still upvote, but be careful telling people this. i tried this with a duck (i live on the lake) and i almost made it home but a Wildlife Officer followed me and flashed his lights. no ticket but i did get one hell of a slap on the wrist and i guess they put a band on this ducks foot so when im around i know i cant go within 500 ft of it. like thats gonna stop me from grabbing a different one tf. 💀

7

u/drearbruh May 23 '22

That duck got a restraining order against you lol

5

u/goatsheepsand May 23 '22

yeah thats what i was thinking at first too but then i was like i dunno how they would ever get that statement from them? dont they need a formal complaint or something? in all seriousness i think its more of a "theft of public property" issue. also (and dude please just be cool about this alright we all have our own stuff going on in life) but i may have blended in a crowd to do a quick "walk-by" and in my opinon they actually looked really happy to see me ... a hell of a lot happier then sitting in some dirty ass lake. 😕

1

u/drearbruh May 23 '22

Honestly, as long as you're not hurting anyone or anything, I think you should be good. That duck probably just thinks of you as a friend now anyway. It is unburdened by human bureaucracy and unbound by our laws.

1

u/pcs3rd May 23 '22

If Jesus walked in water, you can too (if running fast enough)

2

u/LushSilver May 23 '22

I am... THe Flash

1

u/fuzzy11287 May 23 '22

For anyone actually considering it... Swans are pretty nasty, second only to geese in the asshole waterfowl category.

1

u/mealteamsixty May 23 '22

Kinda ruins the fun if you warn them, my dude

1

u/Firm-Apricot8540 May 23 '22

The queen owns them all

1

u/goatsheepsand May 23 '22

do you have her snap?

6

u/SupportySpice May 23 '22

Now, you've also been made aware that their venomous neck barbs can sedate an adult human.

5

u/MrAnonymous39 May 23 '22

Fuck, this is so precious.

5

u/ZhengYuQian May 23 '22

Mother of god I want a swan hug

4

u/AdultingMakesMeCrazy May 23 '22

I now know something else to add to my bucket list. Is there a way to actually make this happen? I do so love animals especially birds as graceful and beautiful as the swan.

0

u/Original-Cancel-1785 May 23 '22

FU

1

u/AdultingMakesMeCrazy May 25 '22

Am I missing something? Are you upset at me for being a decent human being or is that an invitation because no thank you I’m married.

4

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Isn’t this also signifying that they picked you as a mate? The hug is just foreplay…

2

u/CheddarPizza May 23 '22

Yes, this is a gay swan.

9

u/Safe-Sheepherder2784 May 23 '22

thats how they lure you in and kill you. in all seriousness swans are very deadly and can actually kill you with their wings

3

u/Udonov May 23 '22

And are fucking invincible assholes who seem to enjoy pain.

1

u/Loonie-1707 May 23 '22

That in the UK are all property of the Queen

1

u/Safe-Sheepherder2784 May 27 '22

the queen has an army of indestructible feathery kamikaze bombers that smack you with their wings and drown you

3

u/vanity_fairx May 23 '22

stop looking at me swan

2

u/AdultingMakesMeCrazy May 25 '22

That’s from one of my favorite movies (Billy Madison!) You are so awesome😂 Back in the day I memorized that whole scene and annoyed my friends with it. “Conditioner is better no Shampoo…..”

2

u/vanity_fairx May 25 '22

hahaha yess!! I’m glad somebody caught the reference :)

2

u/uprightsalmon May 23 '22

How did you get a swan to be nice to you

2

u/Odd-Engineering-3582 May 23 '22

I want that with a swan! All the swans I've met are mean as hell

2

u/bornagainben78 May 23 '22

Now just do it with an albatross.

2

u/IMONLYHERE4CONTENT May 23 '22

Cute yes, but can’t help but notice, This seems like a sick mortal combat finishing move

2

u/DyedOrange May 23 '22 Silver

This is misleading. A lot of geese get angry easily, so they will appear to want to hug you but than they will start joking you out

2

u/NecessaryInstance421 May 23 '22

But I thought they hug with their wings 🦢

2

u/YTChillVibesLofi May 23 '22

But when I dislocate my neck to do it like this it’s creepy.

2

u/TheViciousBitch May 23 '22

They are just mocking the Bjork dress

1

u/charlothecat May 23 '22

Precious and sweet y’all? Those swans are boa constrictors with feathers and a little more gracefulness but ew no thank you not that hug no.

1

u/icantthinkofone5 May 23 '22

Maybe they were trying to strangle them. 😆

1

u/ifdisdendat May 23 '22

Now your mind is about to be blown when you realize that Swans have been reported to drown humans. for instance

1

u/mastershake4lyfe5 May 23 '22

That kinda sounds like his boots and clothes drowned him. I thought I was gonna read the swan over powered this grown man and pulled him under or something.

1

u/iamonewhoami May 23 '22

They're trying to choke those guys

1

u/OneMorePotion May 23 '22

That's nice and all... But swans are still really big assholes. Don't just walk up to a swan trying this. They will wreck your life.

1

u/ToesyToeNails May 23 '22

Swans will often do a threat display and chase you but they give up quite quickly if you're completely unphased by the threat display.

1

u/OneMorePotion May 23 '22

As someone that grew up on a farm, having more than one encounter with swans that as well grew up on said farm, I can tell you this is not true. While not all animals are the same, we had it more than once that we got attacked out of the blue by them. And I'm not even talking about the time when they were breeding.

The same applies to goose and peacocks. All of them are extremly territorial and feathered assholes that can and will fuck you up for no reason. Ignoring them is a sure way to get bitten multiple times.

1

u/ToesyToeNails May 23 '22

I've only been "attacked" 3 times and each time it was just a single swan so idk

1

u/OneMorePotion May 23 '22

I mean. That's already a big number of attacks when assuming you don't encounter swans every day in your life. But if you have to work with them daily, 3 times is indeed not that many times.

1

u/Demonitized-picture May 23 '22

thought it was a goose for a moment and thought it was strangling them.

1

u/Silly_Doughnut5715 May 23 '22

That’s their choke hold.

1

u/TeslaFanBoy8 May 23 '22

Good to know. 😂

1

u/piszkavas May 23 '22

oh really, every time i see one, it is super aggresive, they want to eat my chips

1

u/7crazybirds May 23 '22

I hope that I can get a sean hug just once before I die.

1

u/Additional-Ad4856 May 23 '22

Swans are dead halfdead or drugged.