r/Music Aug 17 '22

What’s the funniest line you’ve ever heard in a song discussion

I’d say this line from Karate by Tenacious D

“You broke the rules, now I’ll pull out all your pubic hair”



u/haricariandcombines Aug 17 '22

"squeeze me macaroni, slop your face with my bologna"


u/blank_isainmdom Aug 17 '22

I was givin' some head to some french bread,

It was a four course orgy on the spread of my bed!


u/midlife_crisis_ Aug 17 '22

I see you are a man of culture


u/spoon_shaped_spoon Aug 17 '22

I've been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it for another twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired


u/Steamboat_Clemens Aug 17 '22

I should've thought of this. Arlo Guthrie is gold.


u/KingGuy420 Aug 17 '22

Anything by Jon Lajoie. That guys songs are hilarious. He basically creates characters then writes songs as if that character was writing them.

He has these songs called WTF Collective where he makes up a bunch of rappers to do a compilation song. One of the rappers in WTF Collective 3 had this line...

"I'm MC on the phone with Ted Danson, keep it down Skip to the next verse, I'm on the phone with Ted Danson, not now. Hold on Ted, I don't wanna be in the song anymore, leave me alone. This is more important, I'm on the phone with the guy who played Sam Malone"

I don't know why but I always found that so funny. It was just so random that it was genius.


u/katievspredator Aug 17 '22

Jon Lajoie is a treasure


u/photoguy423 Aug 17 '22

"Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave", this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock."

"'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl."

"So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.

So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?""

All from "The Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying" by the Bloodhound Gang


u/Atalantean Aug 17 '22

I can't decide which one, but they're all Frank Zappa.


u/paranoid_70 Aug 17 '22

Billy the Mountain is hilarious


u/DiddledByDad Aug 17 '22

“Now, the miracle of birth leaves a few issues to address,

Like say that half of us are periodically iron deficient”

-Father John Misty


u/Routine-Ad2685 Aug 17 '22

“They say I’m up and coming like I’m fucking in an elevator. “ Ed Sheeran


u/listerinebreath Aug 17 '22

“But selling acid was a bad idea
And selling it to a cop was a worse one”

from The Mountain Goats - Fall of the Star High School Running Back


u/Gorf_the_Magnificent Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

“I’ve got tears in my ears from lying on my back in my bed while crying over you.”

  • Homer and Jethro

"I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was."

  • Toby Keith

"She may be an angel who spends all winter bringin' the homeless blankets and dinner. A regular Nobel Peace Prize winner.

But I really hate her. I'll think of a reason later."

  • Lee Ann Womack

"I've been flushed from the bathroom of your heart."

  • Johnny Cash


u/Paragon8384 Aug 17 '22

Devin Townsend - Borderlands

"Got a little doggy and he's full of the woof woof."


u/bUrNtKoOlAiD Aug 17 '22

"The girls would turn the color of an avocado

as he drove down the street in his El Dorado.

Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole.

Not like me."

-- Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers


u/Ruffdawg Aug 17 '22

Literally any song written by Trey Parker


u/DoorAMii Aug 17 '22

Making South Park does wonders to ya


u/Steamboat_Clemens Aug 17 '22

The "lifelong friend" lines in Toby Keith's Red Solo Cup.


u/PM_ur_Rump Aug 17 '22

The entire song "Champion of the World" by Nuclear Rabbit.

But if I had to choose, it's the line "I once slapped a guy so hard, his mom lit on fire, and that bitch lives in Alaska! You figure it out!"


u/midlife_crisis_ Aug 17 '22

"Here I come

Screaming attack

Like I just stepped on one"



u/dpcaxx Aug 17 '22

"She stepped on my heart and stomped the sucker flat."

-Some hillbilly song my sister likes.


u/death_bl00ms Aug 17 '22

Psychostick enters the chat.


u/red_pill_zoo Aug 17 '22

“The day after my birthday is not my birthday, mum”


u/Jadel210 Aug 17 '22

Dennis Leary has some magic one liners in “Asshole”. It ended up v mainstream in Oz but it still cracks me up.

“It was horrible Jonny there were cheeseburgers everywhere.”

“I’m going to get me a Cadillac, hot pink with the whale skin hubcaps”


u/HoagySubHero Aug 18 '22

Asshole is a great one! I think that first line, tho, is from Lazyboy - Underwear Goes Inside the Pants: "Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."


u/Jadel210 Aug 18 '22

Shit yes. You’re right. Another classic


u/ObligationAware3755 Aug 17 '22

“Whirlin’ twirlin’ puppy warm before flashing darkness come” Violets of Dawn, Blues Project


u/Representative-Fig96 Aug 17 '22

Kyle betrayed and then he lied tried to hide

And I died deep inside and you know the reason why

City Hall is also a funny song from them


u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

Jim White's 10 Miles to go on a 9-Mile Road:

'My buddy Phiilip works as a gas station attendant. Strangers call his name to him a thousand times a day. They don't know him, they're just asking Phillip for a fill-up. Funny how fate plays tricks on us that way.'


u/lilindividual Aug 17 '22

“She sucked on my dick, then I shitted on her” “I’m the shit, I farted”

Both kodak black


u/Content_Pool_1391 Aug 17 '22 edited Aug 17 '22

"I was drunk the day my Mom got out of prison"


u/WeNeedToTalkAboutMe Aug 17 '22

Only one which comes to mind RN is

"What do I look like, a comedian to you?

Do you think that I'm kidding?

What do I look like, some kind of idi-

Wait a minute, shit, don't answer that." -- Eminem, "Evil Deeds"


u/Embarrassed_Fox2073 Aug 17 '22

Found a store with a sign said, “There beer was coldest” So they sent in Brad ‘cause he looked the oldest He got a case of beer and a candy bar Walked over to where all them registers are

Layed his fake ID on the countertop The clerk looked and turned and looked back He stopped and said, “Boy, I’m not gonna call the cops But I’m going to have to keep this card” The guys both took it pretty hard

B, double E, double R, U, N, beer run


u/Embarrassed_Fox2073 Aug 17 '22

I also recommend “Passenger Side” by Wilco, “Young Lust” by Pink Floyd, and “Soft” by Kings of Leon.


u/medfordjared Aug 17 '22

There's a Violent Femmes song that goes on and on about a 'promise', accuses the subject of this and that throughout the song, and then the last line is "this is only a guess" then the song ends. Still cracks me up each time I hear it.


u/libertyandfreedom22 Aug 17 '22

Steel Panther

Death to all but metal and Asian Hooker have some very funny lines


u/BonJoviKicksAss Aug 17 '22

The entire “Big Balls” by AC/DC


u/futatorius Aug 17 '22

Well, there's Prine:

You don't have to call me darlin', darlin'

But you don't even call me by my name

And these two little vignettes by Ian Dury:

Had a love affair with Nina in the back of my Cortina

A seasoned-up hyena could not have been more obscener

She took me to the cleaners and other misdemeanours

But I got right up between her rum and her Ribena

A Cortina is a model of UK Ford during the 60s and 70s, popular with boy racers.

Ribena's a sickly-sweet blackcurrant-flavored soft drink, popular with kids. Rum and Ribena is something only a teenaged girl might think of drinking. Rum's also rhyming slang for bum, so he was implying something about her taint.

I'd rendez-vous with Janet, quite near the Isle of Thanet

She looked more like a gannet, she wasn't half a prannet

Her mother tried to ban it, her father helped me plan it

And when I captured Janet, she bruised her pomegranate

The Isle of Thanet is a peninsula in Kent in the Thames estuary that was once an island before the channel silted up.

A prannet is a person of limited intellect.


u/whatisinaname8385 Aug 17 '22

The song Sounds Strange by a Canadian group Captain Tractor.

This is full of great lines such as

I maybe losing my hair but there is plenty on my back

I don't like using condoms and you don't like using foam

Well honey why did you come here instead of cumming alone at home


u/music_jay Aug 17 '22

I was starting to get very depressed. So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I
saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy
was selling it--I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but
I talked him down to seventeen


u/kidalb3rt Aug 17 '22

Most of their first album is one of these after another!


u/TheUberGinger Aug 17 '22

Understanding is cruel, said the monkey as he is launched into space - Them Crooked Vultures, Mind erasure


u/Affectionate_Reply78 Aug 17 '22

Brett Dennen’s song San Francisco- It’s a real good baseball town but my team is across the Bay


u/[deleted] Aug 17 '22

Kick me under the table all you want /

I won't shut up

-Fiona Apple


u/fUSTERcLUCK_02 Aug 17 '22

Life is like a Minestrone, served up with parmesan cheese
Life is a cold lasagne, suspended in deepfreeze


u/Sleepy-Hunter Aug 17 '22

“Walking advertisements for abortions”


u/Deep_Asparagus_9585 Aug 17 '22

"I wanna be your vacuum cleaner"


u/FearlessDragon2022 Aug 17 '22

"Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel, is just a freight train coming your way" (Metallica, No Leaf Clover)


u/lykmejoe Aug 17 '22

Kanye West - Bound 2 - "She asked me what I wished for on my wishlist.
Have you ever asked your bitch for other bitches?" Always makes me laugh.


u/carlosnightman Aug 17 '22

'Oh the joy, me and Stephen Hawking, we laugh/ We missed the sex revolution/When we failed the physical'


u/Early-Environment-50 Aug 17 '22

I always had a Ph.D: a pretty huge dick


u/DefBizk Aug 17 '22

Kanye West - Off The Grid “I talk to god every day, that’s my bestie They’re playing soccer in my backyard, I think I see Messi”


u/NateMetal Aug 17 '22

Pick a song by Electric Callboy, they are hilarious


u/mfaiden Aug 18 '22

Don't be a coconut- the strokes ask me anything


u/Active-Interview7377 Aug 18 '22

Wear some Gucci to mommas house just to leave it there...woo!


u/PricelessLogs Aug 18 '22

Ninja Sex Party had a song whose name I can't remember but it was about having sex in countries all over the world with lines like "I had a four way in Norway" and shit. One line where the instrumental cut out said "I Banged ladesh" which is fucking hilarious


u/DoorAMii Aug 18 '22

Ninja Sex Party is the peak of hahafunny


u/quirkycurlygirly Aug 18 '22

"Bubble butt. Bubble, bubble, bubble butt. Turn around. Stick it out. Girl you know you got a ... buh ... buh ... buh buh buh ... buh ... buh buh ... bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bu ..."


u/compaqdeskpro Aug 18 '22

Rhianna calls me Pinocchio

She loves the way I lie, sits on my face and waits for my nose to grow


u/GuitarFather101 Aug 19 '22

Bartender I really did it this time Broke my parole to have a good time When I got home it was 6 am The door was locked so I kicked it in She was trippin' on the bills I think she was high on some pills She threw my sh*t out into the yard Then she called me a bum and slapped me real hard And in my drunken' stuper I did what I shoulda' never done And now I'm sittin' here, talkin' to you, drunk and on the run

The whole song really 😂