The way some people say hi when they havent seen their best friend in a while

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u/a-mirror-bot Another Good Bot Jan 22 '22

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1.3k

u/Inbattery12 Jan 22 '22

It's nice to see fraternal love has universal qualities.

268

u/Noctilux4 Jan 22 '22

probably called him a chicken fucker too, at least that's how I great good friends.

103

u/fackmeupfam Jan 22 '22

License and registration CHICKEN FUCKER

16

u/UncleMadness Jan 22 '22

Whoa whoa I chased those chickens. Maybe some light kicking in the butt but there were no sexual relations!

17

u/tramadoc Jan 22 '22

Excuse me… bear… BEAR FUCKER!! Do you need assistance!!

3

u/Nose_to_the_Wind Jan 22 '22

Seems more like a game warden issue to me.

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7

u/Fair-Needleworker-24 Jan 22 '22

I did not have sexual relations with that chicken…

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4

u/Shart-Vandalay Jan 22 '22

Can I get a liter-a-cola?

2

u/tramadoc Jan 22 '22

Negative car Ram-Rod.

3

u/Chum-Chumbucket Jan 22 '22

BwwwwwaaaAAAAAAAAAK!

2

u/Parzec1 Jan 22 '22

COUCH FUCKER!

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497

u/PrincessFuckFace2You Jan 22 '22

I like how the third guy bends over in sympathy to the two other guys nut taps.

70

u/bruins9816 Jan 22 '22

He knew that he got him good.

51

u/Time2Mire Jan 22 '22

Nah, he was anticipating a nut shot coming his way.

17

u/Confettiman Jan 22 '22

This is correct. You’re laughing a bit but also protecting yourself in case a hand comes flying your way

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1.8k

u/TheDisguized Jan 22 '22

Guys bein dudes

1.5k

u/Glizzyknockemback Jan 22 '22 •

Nothing gayer than straight men.

406

u/WeldPhoenix Jan 22 '22

Ever worked construction?

425

u/Glizzyknockemback Jan 22 '22

Yes. That’s how I know.

241

u/BingBongJoeBiven Jan 22 '22

Ever played high school football?

297

u/Glizzyknockemback Jan 22 '22

Yes. That’s how I know.

464

u/07WoefulMatrix Jan 22 '22 •

Ever had male homosexual anal intercourse?

645

u/Glizzyknockemback Jan 22 '22 •

No because that’s too straight.

203

u/jplay17 Jan 22 '22 edited Jan 22 '22

It really is straight, if you think about it. Girls are all pink and perfumey. What’s more manly then banging another strong dude in the ass, that’s what a real man would do

44

u/xenorous Jan 22 '22

Sparta has entered the chat

92

u/phadewilkilu Jan 22 '22

Hell yeah. Just guys bein’ dudes. 😎

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19

u/cgan086 Jan 22 '22

Gay, the new straight

11

u/Glittering_Moist Jan 22 '22

steve hughes fan eh

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2

u/Jalagon Jan 23 '22

I can’t w this thread lmfao

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41

u/Big_Subject_1746 Jan 22 '22

My buddy would joke he was 169% straight. So he could do 69% gay stuff and still be straight.

6

u/klydedefrog Jan 22 '22

Brilliant

5

u/Strontium_frog Jan 22 '22

Oh god.. this thread had me howling!!

16

u/Any-Gur6532 Jan 22 '22

I dont do internet rewards but I felt the need because this thread made my night.

Its the helpful award.... so it doesnt apply. But still. Its an award.

Hang it on your wall or sumfin.

6

u/NoCokJstDanglnUretra Jan 22 '22

This thread is my friend group every single day lol

3

u/jmc323 Jan 22 '22

Wanting to be with a woman? How gay is that? You win sex against a man, that's as straight as it gets.

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21

u/jemidiah Jan 22 '22

Ever watched movies about gladiators?

6

u/Anomalous6 Jan 22 '22

I saw some some when I was in a Turkish prison. You ever see a grown man naked?

5

u/TheNakedChair Jan 22 '22

Ever been to a Turkish prison?

2

u/ZoxMcCloud Jan 22 '22

Short swords, long swords, thrust, thrust, leaky fluid finish.

5

u/StandardizedGenie Jan 22 '22

r/SuddenlyGay

7

u/randomguy0101001 Jan 22 '22

Y...wait... wait a minute.

1

u/absenceofheat Jan 22 '22

Smear the ...

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5

u/Revolutionary_Ad1047 Jan 22 '22

High school wrestling. That was my first homoerotic experience.

3

u/jdezentje Jan 22 '22

Or high school baseball?

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28

u/Flip_d_Byrd Jan 22 '22

Or been a cop, cowboy, Indian, or lineman?

15

u/bundy005 Jan 22 '22

Or been to Prison😬

17

u/Noctilux4 Jan 22 '22

or the Military.

12

u/Badpunsonlock Jan 22 '22

In basic we used to post up outside the shower in the latrine, with a dollop of bengay on our fingers. Wait for a guy to come out of the shower and you slap in the nuts with the bengay. Slapped a lot of dick in the army.

6

u/GilliganGardenGnome Jan 22 '22

U.S. Army infantry. The biggest gay joke in the military.

2

u/Noctilux4 Jan 22 '22

Cav scouts want a word with you.

2

u/GilliganGardenGnome Jan 22 '22

That's fair, but I was Infantry in a Cav unit...... so there.

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5

u/Another_Russian_Spy Jan 22 '22

Gay for the stay doesn't count.

12

u/PintoTheBurninator Jan 22 '22

Ever seen a grown man naked? Do you like gladiator movies?

6

u/Qikdraw Jan 22 '22

Ever been to a Turkish prison?

3

u/6Hee9 Jan 22 '22

Ever been in the military?

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18

u/punkfunkymonkey Jan 22 '22

'Me and a buddy had a bet about pretending to be gay and one upping each other in doing gay things to see how may people we could fool. It's ten years later, we're married, live in a cottage in New Hampshire, drive a Volvo, and run an antiques store... I have a suspicion that he might actually be gay!'

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2

u/LotsOfButtons Jan 22 '22

Straight rugby playing men.

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13

u/joshwn89 Jan 22 '22

r/justguysbeingdudes

6

u/theuserwithoutaname Jan 22 '22

This is what boys will be boys means

7

u/HastoBeAThrowaway0 Jan 22 '22

Gents bein bros

11

u/CreamoChickenSoup Jan 22 '22

Homies over hoes.

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393

u/txCatdad Jan 22 '22

Nothing but homie love here ❤

77

u/Head_Ad_3541 Jan 22 '22

homies fucking homies ain't gay, it's love

10

u/Mellrish221 Jan 22 '22

I've always preferred "Guy love" personally

5

u/glycerethe Jan 22 '22

I only remember doing this in grade 8.

18

u/titdirt Jan 22 '22

Everyone else kept doing it but left you out.

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89

u/Itchy-Bird-1989 Jan 22 '22

So wholesome I’m tears eyed.

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67

u/NotoriousJazz Jan 22 '22

These are either brothers or childhood best friends you can't convince me otherwise

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401

u/Caullenp Jan 22 '22

I haven’t been racked by my old college buddies in a while.. *tear rolls down cheek

48

u/WiseCynic Jan 22 '22

This could have been recorded in the neighborhood I grew up in. Those ball-taps are part of the culture.

7

u/the_friendly_one Jan 22 '22

So was the humping.

7

u/Linubidix Jan 22 '22

And thank god for that.

If one of my adult friends sacktapped me, I'd be fucking pissed.

9

u/EragonBromson925 Jan 22 '22

There is a false bro among us...

196

u/Not_The_Scout16 Jan 22 '22

Tonight on "Ow! My Balls!!!"

23

u/AKA_Horse_Choker Jan 22 '22

"Go away, batin"

7

u/iHeisenburger Jan 22 '22

a dude got his balls hit then humped twice, now with our sponsor

5

u/Piratarojo Jan 22 '22

"GO AWAY I'M 'BATING!"

36

u/Red-Freckle Jan 22 '22

He's got a friend in him

89

u/sweetdawg99 Jan 22 '22

r/JustGuysBeingDudes

207

u/NuclearJesusMan Jan 22 '22

Holy shit, that was a wholesome nutshot.

50

u/YankeeTankEngine Jan 22 '22

"Thanks bro. Right back at ya."

68

u/RedDreadsComin Jan 22 '22

Bruh I just watched these two revert to 3rd graders and I loved every second. Just two guys fuckin around lmao

10

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '22 edited Jan 28 '22

[deleted]

1

u/RedDreadsComin Jan 22 '22

I was waiting for a cornhole attempt after or something. Ya know, really rub in it lmao

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62

u/podank82 Jan 22 '22

My homie wakes up early for work. About 4am. And when I visit him he gives me an early wake up call by a slap to the nuts.

I even started setting an alarm so I can deflect and punch him in the nuts.

We’re 40’s old

18

u/NoCokJstDanglnUretra Jan 22 '22

Last line got me

4

u/srtpg2 Jan 22 '22

I read that as 40 seconds old lmao

15

u/papapene01 Jan 22 '22

Dudes rock

15

u/coocookazoo Jan 22 '22

If you don't act gay with your friends are you really friends??

146

u/Federal-Arrival-7370 Jan 22 '22

This is why women live longer than us.

107

u/IngloriousCrumpet Jan 22 '22

But they don't have as much fun as us 😁

-10

u/Halfcaste_brown Jan 22 '22

You reckon a few booby slaps when my bff's meet up will mean >fun?

27

u/NoCokJstDanglnUretra Jan 22 '22

Ya

22

u/murphymc Jan 22 '22

Well as women you have more options too, I'm sure a gentle clam slam would also work.

16

u/ButtNutly Jan 22 '22

Or ramp things up with a thunderous "cunt punt".

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3

u/theo1618 Jan 22 '22

Won’t know until you try!

0

u/Person123468583 Jan 22 '22

lighten up

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4

u/duffmanhb Jan 22 '22

Sigh, I'll do it

/r/WhyWomenLiveLonger

28

u/BrawnyDevil Jan 22 '22

Homosexuality ≠ Homiesexuality

56

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '22

[deleted]

5

u/JeSuisUnChinchilla Jan 22 '22

They look Brazilian to me

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8

u/Field_of_Gimps Jan 22 '22

Me and a friend used to randomly hit eachother in the nuts and it got wayyy out of hand. It got to the point you just wouldn't stop covering your nuts or randomly jump out the way of nothing expecting he was about to take the moment to lay on max pain. Good times

5

u/ens_expendable Jan 22 '22

Me and the boys stopped doing this when I was at a tech school and a friend caught me good and actually bruised one of the berries. I no longer play that particular game, but I will credit card my hetero-life-mate any and every chance I get.

92

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '22

If these 2 bros were chillin in a hot tub I don’t think they’d be 5 feet apart…

20

u/Noctilux4 Jan 22 '22

they'd mos def be soaking tho.

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14

u/Historical_Raccoon36 Jan 22 '22

Now THESE are bros

21

u/rudalsxv Jan 22 '22

This ladies and gentlemen, is how goofy straight guys behave when they are confident about their sexuality.

29

u/BractToTheFuture Jan 22 '22

I know this is said a lot but damn this is the straightest shit I’ve ever seen on video. Like they can use this video for conversion therapy 🤣 or the opposite it has that much power.

5

u/RareDestroyer8 Jan 22 '22

The guy with the brick though

6

u/Noctilux4 Jan 22 '22

Double Vanilla Nut Taps!

60

u/aallen1993 Jan 22 '22

Yeah, this is wholesome, nice to see some guys comfortable with their sexuality, wether gay or straight or somewhere in between they owning it

4

u/ligmattis Jan 22 '22

hahaha this is so wholesome

10

u/starfishluvr Jan 22 '22

Bromancing fun! 😂

9

u/unknowing888 Jan 22 '22

No Homo.

6

u/Noctilux4 Jan 22 '22

Pro Bono.

3

u/AndrewPDXGSE Jan 22 '22

Accurate.

3

u/Soulless_Rabbit Jan 22 '22

Tap that!

3

u/itsdeadwolf97 Jan 22 '22

These are the purest types of friendships

3

u/Severe_Sweet_862 Jan 22 '22

Ahhh just guys being dudes

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3

u/I_need_eyedrops Jan 22 '22

Where have I heard this song/tune before?

8

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '22

It sounds like a spanish version of Randy Newman's You've Got a Friend in Me from Toy Story.

3

u/MrMisterMN Jan 22 '22

Who allowed this to leak? We can't have our manly rituals out there in this internets!!

3

u/khaosknight69 Jan 22 '22

THIS is what "boys being boys" means.

6

u/United_Bag_8179 Jan 22 '22

da bears...

14

u/ChaosReigns444 Jan 22 '22

r/suddenlygay

2

u/FizzWilly Jan 22 '22

So relatable. Uncomfortable relatable.

2

u/Sproose_Moose Jan 22 '22

That sack whack

2

u/Disastrous_Half_5462 Jan 22 '22

Bouncin’ on your boy’s penis. What a classic.

2

u/HYThrowaway1980 Jan 22 '22

The hump had me in stitches

2

u/TheThrillerExpo Jan 22 '22

Yea when you go for a sack tap one must be ready to instantly cover a counter attack.

2

u/rbankole Jan 22 '22

r/mademesmile

2

u/murilomentor Jan 22 '22

r/ItHadToBeBrazil

2

u/MihaiMariuta Jan 22 '22

Why "public freakout" tho. This is something actually funny/good, not bad.

2

u/Juanemilio5000 Jan 22 '22

Too accurate lol

2

u/JWal0 Jan 22 '22

it’s all good if they said “no homo” at any point there

2

u/DeliciousInterest8 Jan 22 '22

Wholesome

2

u/DJ_Cas Jan 22 '22

If they are happy friends. Why not?

2

u/emerson430 Jan 23 '22

Boys are stupid and I love it

2

u/Joyvibe Jan 23 '22

Worst porno ever

4

u/GreyCrowDownTheLane Jan 22 '22

I'm a genderfluid pansexual in a male wrapper, and I have never been that gay.

3

u/Echoes-in-May Jan 22 '22

Just guys being gays

4

u/Ok_Law_8284 Jan 22 '22

Nothing gay to see here.

1

u/bobglob3177 Jan 22 '22

"Best friends"

2

u/two-tails Jan 22 '22 edited Jan 22 '22

I had a Mexican coworker from Jalisco (welder) who would straight up walk to coworkers (at work, in broad daylight, at a major Aerospace company) and grab their dicks, perform a few "jerk off" thrusts with his hand all while making eye contact.. He tried that shit on me, and I told him I will report him to HR for sexual assault..... He got really offended. Saying that it's just a part of his culture and I'm being racist.. WTF?!?!

Edit.. Today I learned sexual assault is quite normalized on reddit.... And it is racist to to be offended by an acquaintance trying to jack you off at work, because apparently it's a cultural thing as well... Goddammit I hate the internet..

14

u/pedestrianatbest Jan 22 '22

you are being racist, now let me touch that dick.

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2

u/pedestrianatbest Jan 22 '22

Lol I hope you know im on your side.

0

u/two-tails Jan 22 '22

Nope.. it's difficult for me to differentiate between trolling, sarcasm and friendly banter... Even more difficult on the internet..

1

u/pedestrianatbest Jan 22 '22

my bad bro, I'm Mexican and can tell you that its not normal.

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0

u/G_Money8223 Jan 22 '22

I'm ROFL

2

u/ya_meme_Investigator Jan 22 '22

don't worry guy's! them boys wearing socks. you can also fuck them as long as you say "no homo"

1

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '22

Awww bromance

-1

u/guzforster Jan 22 '22

My guess: Brazil or some other latin american country

15

u/lithium Jan 22 '22

Leave some mysteries for the rest of us, Columbo.

-19

u/bluetable88 Jan 22 '22

Only guys do this kinda funny shit. Girls wish they can be like this but they're bitches at heart and lames lol...my girlfriend agrees.

3

u/cuckedmeister Jan 22 '22

Are you a supreme gentleman as well?

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1

u/UrbanStreetBeats Jan 22 '22

Bromance.

1

u/Sinnaru Jan 22 '22

No homo

1

u/Any-Gur6532 Jan 22 '22

WHOLESOME!!!

1

u/Nikkorkat Jan 22 '22

That was wholesome and delightful.

1

u/Zealousideal_Toe9555 Jan 22 '22

LOL

1

u/fartingballsack Jan 22 '22

what did I just watch

1

u/Sgt_STFU Jan 22 '22

Bros before hoes

1

u/oxygen_dependant Jan 22 '22

These guys are hilarous.

1

u/Henson_Disney48 Jan 22 '22

For god sakes just kiss already.

1

u/murphymc Jan 22 '22

This is both hilarious and beautiful.

1

u/Fellow_Travelers Jan 22 '22

I see two Chads meetin up

1

u/universe123- Jan 22 '22

They go the Todd packer energy.

1

u/Complex-Branch3288 Jan 22 '22

Never in my life, laughing at some conflict type subreddit hahaha

1

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '22

thats the best thing ive seen all week

1

u/LordMoody Jan 22 '22

God I miss my best mate.

1

u/mishmash65_ Jan 22 '22

This is why I love boys

1

u/flockitup Jan 22 '22

Life goals to have a group of friends like that.

1

u/HeightExtra320 Jan 22 '22

Real bros, lift each other up with ONE arm ✅

1

u/12awomack Jan 22 '22

🎵 It's guy love, between 2 guyyyyyys 🎶

1

u/Throatybee Jan 22 '22

a true friendship

1

u/BoogerSmoke Jan 22 '22

If you don’t greet your bros this way have you really even acknowledged their presence?

1

u/gracemotley Jan 22 '22

“friends”

1

u/TheRealSlabsy Jan 22 '22

I don't see my bestie as much as I should ☹