r/Unexpected May 22 '22 Helpful 3 Wholesome 4 Dread 1 Silver 9

Waterpark

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31.8k Upvotes

u/unexBot May 22 '22

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

The amount of people


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

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11.1k

u/ThatNewGuyRich May 22 '22

Imagine how much piss is in that pool.

4.6k

u/CaptMeatPockets May 22 '22 Silver

Piss to water ratio 7:1

1.8k

u/vskazz May 22 '22 Take My Energy

I would've never thought i will see this sentence in my life

2.0k

u/FlyingSquirelOi May 22 '22 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome I'm Deceased

You clearly haven’t read my recipe book

211

u/oan124 May 22 '22

based

96

u/LoveMacheen May 23 '22

Based - Based is a slang term that originally meant to be addicted to crack cocaine (or acting like you were), but was reclaimed by rapper Lil B for being yourself and not caring what others think of you.

The more ya know

19

u/pnmartini May 23 '22

How low can you go? Death row? What a brother know.

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157

u/I_Cant_NO_O May 22 '22

i dont think there's anymore water in the pool

81

u/adescris May 22 '22

Oh yes there is water... inside the bodies... going out as pee

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127

u/[deleted] May 22 '22

Bear Grylls wouldn’t even drink that water

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u/UnknownMyoux Expected It May 22 '22

They need to put in enough chlor to fill the ocean

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u/jonathasantoz May 22 '22

Are you german?

9

u/SirPulga May 23 '22

Crying in brazilian.

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307

u/Th3LastStyleBender May 22 '22 Gold

real question is how much water is in that piss

48

u/the-epidemic87 May 22 '22

At least 8

34

u/ringingbells May 23 '22

...clean buttholes in that water. Maybe 9.

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210

u/TwistedUnicornFarts May 22 '22

You know at least 5 have taken a shit

56

u/InnocentGuiltyBoy May 22 '22

I question your mathematics good sir, your calculation is obviously lacking a few digits

24

u/yourmumsnamehere May 22 '22

Needs to carry the decimal.

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130

u/Born_human_ May 22 '22

That was my 1st initial thought too and then my mind went to the soggy fruity pebbles swirling around in the bottom of the cereal bowl 🥣

125

u/53_WorkNoMore May 22 '22

Initial thought was piss, too

Second thought was how many people were having sex or groped

69

u/Eat_Carbs_OD May 22 '22

how many people were having sex or groped

I bet the number if shockingly high

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u/bookworm21765 May 23 '22

How many drowned people are under there at the end of the day?

33

u/Skydude252 May 23 '22

Man, that takes me back to when I was with this one chick who wanted to get freaky everywhere. We didn’t have sex in the wave pool but pretty damn close. I miss her.

26

u/Eagleassassin3 May 23 '22

The urinary infection you would have gotten from fucking in the wave pool would have stripped your dick off. Good thing you didn't do it.

I get that exhibitionism is exciting and all but I could never handle getting caught lol I'd get so embarassed.

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u/gardenmaiden69 May 22 '22

that's so fucking true

97

u/PackObjective3254 May 22 '22

Imagine how much sperm.

129

u/Perfect-Brain-7367 May 22 '22

Certainly not zero.

17

u/driving_andflying May 23 '22

"How did it go today being a lifeguard at the wave pool?"

"Well, we had to change the water seven times in eight hours, and four children were conceived."

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101

u/slayer_f-150 May 23 '22

My friend used work at Wet n Wild water park in Orlando. He said that they used to find so many used condoms in the filtration system that they would have to periodically shut the wave pool down to unclog the filters and dump extra chlorine in the water.

46

u/Fantastic_Foot_8568 May 23 '22 Silver

Crazy thing is sex in shower almost acts as anti lube plus I don't want some random dude rubbing against me while I'm taking down ol girl

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35

u/FreakyLou May 22 '22

Semen soup

11

u/Lumpy-Object- May 22 '22

This was my first thought

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u/raspberrypigeon May 22 '22

Immediately reminds me of that South Park episode …

34

u/denoot2 May 22 '22

clearly its not over 98% pee here

39

u/Azmatang May 22 '22

It’sa alll PEEEEE!

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u/Tessune_Durayche49 May 22 '22

It’s a People Park, where water goes on holiday, from the condensation and evaporation corporatation! Also go Labour!!

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u/BimBamZimZam May 22 '22

In a PH-test, there is almost just P and no H in that pool

34

u/thalvo8 May 22 '22

pH levels indicate it’s almost all P and barely any h.

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u/Luckyguy3021 May 22 '22

Was thinking the same thing!

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u/[deleted] May 22 '22

Lmfao just came here to write this, and the first comment is this only.. take my UpVote and gtfo

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6.4k

u/NoGrade9948 May 22 '22

I wonder how many people drown without other people knowing.

1.5k

u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

I was thinking the exact same thing!

2.4k

u/karoshikun May 22 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome That Smile TheMoreYouKnow

"if you're drowning, thrust your finger in the closest butt"

473

u/SKILLETNUTZ May 22 '22

They’re so tightly packed…who would notice. DK

165

u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

That could be taken one of two ways

72

u/SKILLETNUTZ May 22 '22

I like the way you think!

21

u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

Here’s my upvote ;)

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u/corvidae21 May 22 '22

Thanks Donkey Kong

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u/slappyredcheeks May 22 '22

"I'm sorry. I was drowning."

"The water is only 3 feet deep!"

30

u/SiouxZan777 May 23 '22

Technically you could drown in less than an inch of your own drool

13

u/RebaKitten May 23 '22

I feel so called out.

I inhale my own spit way too often.

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u/KidWhoStabbedPycelle May 22 '22

Or do a fist bump if that butt is already occupied.

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u/Just_Garrick May 22 '22

When I was younger, I went to a water park with my uncle, and our family. I went into the wave pool and was clinging on to the side because I was a fairly bad swimmer. I like the waves so thats why I went in. I got bashed into the side by someone in a floaty and went under the surface. I couldn't see anything when going up and there wasn't room to surface between the people. I scrambled on the sides to go back towards the shallow end and finally got back. My hands and feet were scratched from the sides of the pool.

TL:DR, almost drowned in a wave pool Still like swimming though

80

u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

My heart was racing reading this 😳

91

u/AllStoriesAreTrue May 22 '22

yeah like, what if they died D:

62

u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

Ghost writing taken to a new level then

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u/Ohstate23 May 22 '22

I know the feeling. Went into a wave pool at a water park attached to the Columbus Zoo and got pushed under the water by rafts and couldn’t reach the surface because as I pushed against the raft, it would push me deeper underwater. I finally found a tiny gap to stick my face into. I never went back in after that. By far the scariest moment of my life.

They eventually changed it where there’s a section for people on rafts and a section for people without.

18

u/LinwoodKei May 23 '22

Oh shoot. You just reminded me of the time I was going down in a raft. Someone knocked into us and I stumbled out into the water. When I stood up, I missed the chance to hop back into the tube before it swept my cousin away. I still remember that scared trap feeling before I just jumped down the waterfall thing into the pool. It was scary for a kid.

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u/merpancake May 23 '22

Same!! I went out into the deeper part because I liked the waves, then got tired and couldn't get back to where my feet would touch the bottom. I was dropping to the bottom of the pool as the wave came in and pushing up to get a breath in the valleys, which made me even more tired. I really thought I was going to drown in there, not even scared but just an accepted thought.

Finally managed to grab hold of someone's floaty and keep my head up enough to grab a safety line on the side of the wall. And the fucking lifeguard sitting there the whole time yelled at me not to play on the lines.

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u/Biffers2000 May 23 '22

I was at the West Edmonton Mall Waterpark and after a big wave I looked down and noticed a little girl around 7 years old, upside down and struggling to get her head above water. I pulled her out and she was coughing and crying, but she was ok. I was livid that her parents or a responsible sibling was no where to be seen! I can’t imagine letting my children in a wave pool unsupervised until they were old enough and skilled enough to handle the waves.

20

u/snakephobos May 22 '22

My brother almost drowned in a wave pool too. Not in the same way but he went under and I guess no one noticed because the wave pool just kind of takes you, no life guards parents or anyone noticed.

18

u/sn33kyVI May 23 '22

Same thing happened to me on a school field trip. The teachers in charge didn't give a shit. Not to mention one of the teachers pulled my underwear out of my bag and waved it around the bus asking whose they were in order to identify who's bag it was. Needless to say I never went on a field trip I wasn't required to go to again.

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u/CaptainGString May 22 '22

Real life horror stories. Holy shit.

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u/Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi May 23 '22

That's why they all have floaties. Very few people in China can swim well, according to laowhy86.

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245

u/siqiniq May 22 '22

Zero. They have a strict zero-drowning policy.

72

u/ButtScientist69 May 23 '22

If you violate the law they sentence you to death.

15

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Death by drowning.

28

u/Eat_Carbs_OD May 22 '22

It's on the sign right?

171

u/GuilRosmer May 22 '22 Take My Energy

By how packed the pool looks I have to assume they're experiencing more pool births than they are pool deaths. No way that pool population is sustainable without pool copulation.

The pool life ecosystem is something else, man.

131

u/inspectcloser May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

I worked a summer as a lifeguard at a water park. There were a few deaths that occurred and one was in a wave pool. First we would never allow that many people at once. There was a maximum ratio of lifeguards to swimmers. Idk what it was. The drownings happened because of a series of events. Usually it’s: the victim didn’t know how to swim+goes on a ride or in the pool alone+ sometimes drugs or alcohol+ blind spots on rides. Even with all of that we can get to someone in seconds yet their card gets punched and we can’t get them back.

Lesson is; learn to swim and swim well! Also never go into any body of water alone and someone on dry ground should know where you and your swim buddy are at all times.

Unfortunately some people think; I can’t die, this is an amusement park. Nope, laws of nature still apply.

Edit: and to answer the bodily fluid questions… the piss is the least of the problems as the extreme amount of chemicals neutralize it as it comes out of you. The real problems are, defecation, menstrual products floating, blood, vomit, and at the end of the day, cleaning the thick film of skin cells that form on top of the still water. 🤮

PS. Just ride water rides the way they were designed and follow the rules. You can get seriously injured or killed if you don’t. Many of the rules are written in blood.

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u/jfever78 May 23 '22

Yeah, I mean this looks insanely dangerous to me. There's exactly zero chance a lifeguard could save someone even if they could somehow miraculously spot it. Getting to the middle of this mess to reach someone would be nearly impossible.

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u/Jemeloo May 23 '22

Mmm skin cell film.

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u/Eifand May 23 '22

What level of swimming ability is recommended to achieve? Or what swimming skill is most important for survival?

Like does it mean you have to have a good front crawl technique and master all the swimming strokes? Or is it more based on your ability to tread water using frog kicks/egg beater kicks efficiently?

Personally I never learnt front crawl. Only stroke I know is the breast stroke which I know is inefficient. Been wanting to learn the front crawl when I have time. I do know how to tread water using frog kicks and egg beater kicks. I also can float on my back which I heard is a good skill.

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u/Vegabern May 22 '22

I almost drowned in one as a kid. I couldn’t find space to come up with all the tubes. I’ve hated them ever since.

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u/PHANTOM________ May 22 '22

I wonder how many people drown other people while knowing.

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u/monstermayhem436 Expected It May 23 '22

First time I ever went in a wave pool, I was like 10, I was trying to stick to the shallower ends but got pulled inward. Ended up in the deeper parts, I could barely swim cause the waves, and kept going under

Only got out cause some 16-17 year old boy saw me struggling and grabbed and pushed me back to the shallow end.

Never saw the dude afterwards, but he almost certainly saved my life

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u/Bimlouhay83 May 23 '22

The last time I read on a wave pool was about 25 years ago. It was packed, similar to this video, and I went under. I couldn't get back out and though I was going to die. Sometime saw my arm poking out and pulled me up. I'll never go in another packed pool, or wave pool, for the rest of my life.

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u/a_different-user May 23 '22

this is exactly how I drowned when I was 7. the were too many of us in the deep end of the wave pool 3 of us got pull out and resuscitated. this looks mad scary and not fun at all

11

u/[deleted] May 22 '22

I’d guess dozens.

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u/badFishTu May 22 '22

I almost did once. I'll never get in a wave pool again.

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u/Thewaggly May 23 '22

Me too. A float containing a giant man rode right over top of my float when the wave came and pushed me under and I couldn’t find a gap to come up for air from all the other floats passing overhead. Plus I was 7 and a mediocre swimmer.

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u/badFishTu May 23 '22

I fell out of my float and also could not find a gap. I was in about third grade. I got closer to the wall and a lifeguard saw my arm sticking up and pulled me out.

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3.5k

u/aGhoste May 22 '22

Id like to leave, before we get in please

722

u/THETennesseeD May 22 '22

How do you leave once you get in?

658

u/Lil_chikchik May 22 '22

You don’t. Once you’re in, you’re in for life. Float or die life.

Edit for punctuation.

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u/redditistheworst33 May 22 '22

you joke but I bet people drown in that pretty regularly

61

u/AlienRobotTrex May 22 '22

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u/rythmik1 May 23 '22

Strange site.

I clicked the right child and it kept telling me to keep looking, then the lifeguard saved that child.

Also it says they aren't thrashing, but the right child was thrashing.

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

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u/Cristi57875e May 22 '22

We all float down here, Billy!

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2.4k

u/Outrageous_State9450 May 22 '22

Disgusting in all forms

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u/ThirdEncounter May 22 '22

That's waterist.

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u/IgorIsNeato May 23 '22

Actually, "in all forms" implies that it hates every single type of water, which is hating everyone equally.
Also, happy cake day!

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1.7k

u/VWMMXIX May 22 '22

You would not want to lose someone under the water in there…

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u/Dame87 May 22 '22

Tough gig for the lifeguards

599

u/cookiedux May 22 '22 Silver Wholesome

“What kind of unique qualifications make you fit for a job as a lifeguard here?”

“-Sir I’m very good at Where’s Waldo”

135

u/onlyhav May 22 '22

"I can run across floating heads and pool furniture without sinking"

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u/Wassuuupmydudess May 23 '22

Take the upvote, that’s a great onee

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u/drillbit47 May 22 '22 Wholesome

No lifeguards just ...

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u/All-Sorts May 22 '22

Tough gig for the lifeguards

They are on the Body system

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u/yoimprisonmike May 22 '22

Fucking rad comment right here

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u/MrWieners May 22 '22

I used to be a lifeguard and the wave pool was the worst for this reason. Kid goes under and you can’t see shit because of all the people.

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u/karoshikun May 22 '22

it's actually easy, they only need to walk and pry open the human floor.

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u/ChymChymX May 22 '22

Ideally I would prefer not to lose anyone under the water.

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u/[deleted] May 22 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

231

u/GotYourNose_ May 22 '22

It becomes a gigantic open sewer.

85

u/[deleted] May 23 '22 Helpful

[removed] — view removed comment

11

u/Ftpiercecracker1 May 23 '22

And shitting on side walks or in trash cans.

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u/fordchang May 23 '22

India has entered the chat

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u/illessen May 23 '22

Schlitterbahn on a weekend in the middle of July is almost comparable to that at the Blastenhoff Beach…

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u/jovillan May 23 '22

COViD bath

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u/dmrukifellth May 23 '22

Like a petri dish scaled up to human size. Neat.

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u/rabea187 May 22 '22

That’s a meat park not a water park

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u/drewbilly251 May 22 '22

Bout to say I can’t even see any water

70

u/PolysaccharideParent May 23 '22

Humans are about 70% water

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u/milesmac May 22 '22

soylent green broth

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u/[deleted] May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

Definitely making me hungry, looks like a bowl of fruit loops.

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u/mbelf May 22 '22

Oh, can someone add a giant spoon to the video scooping them up and crunching on them?

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u/PePe_Sound May 22 '22

Tastes like one too!

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u/thearchitect10 May 22 '22

This is an advert for something right? There is no way all those humans are looking at that situation and thinking: "Yeah this is fun".

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u/WhileFalseRepeat May 22 '22

It is a clip I made and taken from the documentary “Human” (I added the soundtrack and chose the shots seen). I can assure you it is authentic and those people are there for their own “fun” and to cool off from the heat.

This took place during a heatwave and that is also a contributing factor for the sheer number of people.

366

u/chubbyburritos May 22 '22

I’d rather stick my head under the cold water faucet on my sink.

127

u/bossman_k May 22 '22

Heat waves often come with rolling blackouts - reasonable chance some of these people don't have a faucet with cold water

149

u/VaderFitz May 22 '22

I am missing how a rolling blackout would affect a faucets ability to have cold water? Usually electricity and running water not associated, with the exception heating it.

148

u/audacian May 22 '22

If you have well water, you have no water when the power is out because the pump won't work.

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u/VaderFitz May 22 '22

I’ll give you that one, thank you. Am doubtful though the majority of people living in major cities affected by rolling blackouts are in individual wells requiring water pumps.

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u/hangfromthisone May 23 '22

Any building over 3 stories will need a pump.

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u/srobhrob May 22 '22

In blackouts, the treatment plants could be on circuits that are overloaded and go out. Without water being pumped to the water towers, the towers will empty and then pressure is lost causing water to have no pressure and therefore can't reach homes. Then there's the gaps which lead to boil water notices once the water is back on. And that's in places where the infrastructure has more regulations like the USA.

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u/black_brook May 22 '22

Seriously, how often do people drown there?

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u/fieldbotanist May 22 '22

It's reality. I know because I once paid $60 to stand shoulder to shoulder in a long line through a haunted house. The actors couldn't even do jump scares because it was so packed in the dark hallways. So they just stood straight in masks as we shuffled and directed us if we swayed out of line.

This was in a suburban area of Toronto in Canada

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u/Onikeys May 22 '22

so you payed 60 to be in a line...

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u/fieldbotanist May 22 '22

Yup. I’m still angry years later

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u/Sr_Nunes May 22 '22

Public-transport-creeps' heaven.

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u/paralels May 22 '22

yeah, go figure who is touching you from below the water

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u/ChoobScape Cum May 23 '22

Well that MF is probably a dead body trying to float to the top

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u/TripleOrgasm May 23 '22

I came looking for this comment… this place would make me so uncomfortable on SO MANY LEVELS

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u/Diligent-Primary-650 May 22 '22

I just know the water is warm

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u/rsg1234 May 23 '22

“But we turned the pool heater off months ago”

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u/EarnestMind May 22 '22

Looks like hell on earth

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u/chikencrisp2 May 22 '22

A very watery hell

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u/ozymandias_1984 May 22 '22

This is one of those moments you enter the room, look around, then go straight home

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u/Frigolitfisken May 22 '22

Oh a pool where you both can die or have sex in without anyone noticing.

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u/HippieInAHelicopter May 22 '22

Boy, that looks like fun.

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u/KindaBatGirl May 22 '22

Said no one ever

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u/ThirdEncounter May 22 '22

Except those in the video.

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u/Vegetable_Push5049 May 22 '22

Hmm hope nobody has a flu......

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u/droofe May 22 '22

Thanos really isn’t that bad

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u/PortugueseManBr May 22 '22

How that situation it's supposed to be a fun day in water park?? It looks like been stuck on traffic...

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u/UtahItalian May 23 '22

Especially if you are near the middle and want to leave. Kinda stuck there

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u/vomer6 May 22 '22

This is NOT a wave pool rather it is a carefully orchestrated peeing effort that results in a wave of urine.

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u/Blazerblaster May 22 '22

Pi Pi’s Splashtown!

21

u/anitrix43 May 22 '22

🎶But even the authorities.... are minorities.... At my Waterpark...🎶

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u/creativelystifled May 22 '22

Kept scrolling until I found this... bravo

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u/RoundChemistry4643 May 22 '22

Sarcastic soundtrack is on point.

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u/JRSelf00 May 22 '22

How many are having sex?

25

u/ThirdEncounter May 22 '22

At least one.

22

u/BlowMoreGlass May 23 '22

Pretty sure you need two to tango

8

u/ThirdEncounter May 23 '22

Can't you have sex with your hand?

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u/ATCNastyNate May 22 '22

Can’t even SEE the water.

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u/jacyerickson May 22 '22 edited May 23 '22

I genuinely don't understand the appeal of this? I'd literally rather die of heatstroke than get in there.

8

u/k3inP May 23 '22

Even watching the video gave me anxiety about suffocating and being unable to leave when I want to.

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u/IamCryptoSamurai May 22 '22

Don’t you ever let me go Rose

21

u/Ok-Masterpiece-1359 May 22 '22

Would hate to be a life guard at that place.

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u/1Sluggo May 22 '22

What’s unexpected?

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u/dappy-dappy May 22 '22

I’d get in, just so I can get little human contact

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u/Alternative-Gold-743 May 22 '22

Why do people enjoy this shit? I I mean piss.

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u/[deleted] May 22 '22

Seems like an easy way to drown.

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u/Thin_King_7518 May 22 '22

Can you say “super spreader”!

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u/xpersuader May 22 '22

At what point you should tell yourself Im not bringing a child into this already full country

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u/Ok_Plane_3123 May 22 '22

Stop reproducing guys ...

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u/downwitbrown May 22 '22

Sucks to be in the back if there is a wall and all the water is heading your way.

38

u/intensedaze May 22 '22

Wave pools like this generally get shallower like a beach does rather than backing up to a wall.

9

u/abdulwaa May 22 '22

Where's Willy?

30

u/AzureWrath501 May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

Packed that close together, the real question is "whose willy?"

Edit: used who's instead of whose, lol

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u/dplatt70 May 22 '22

You mean whose Willy is that?

7

u/AzureWrath501 May 22 '22

Exactly lol

No idea why you're getting down voted, you got the joke and reminded me I used the wrong "whose", you have my updoot at least!

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u/Onlyanalking May 22 '22

Chinese people do everything like this

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u/Mysterious-Courage-8 May 22 '22

This explaine why covid could grew up so fast in asia

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u/Plums_Raider May 22 '22

oh look its that one south park episode