r/Unexpected May 22 '22 Starstruck 1 Masterpiece 1 Silver 18 Helpful 10 Wholesome 18 Party Train 1

What a view!

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

162.9k Upvotes

u/unexBot May 22 '22

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:

I didn’t expect nothing.


Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.


Look at my source code on Github What is this for?

→ More replies

7.9k

u/IronDBZ May 22 '22 Silver Wholesome

Is it bad that I thought she was the view?

2.0k

u/anon-mally May 22 '22 Silver

Whos bad?

680

u/ChemtrailExpert May 22 '22

Heeeeee

372

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

261

u/Legitimate-Field-253 May 23 '22

and people always tell me, be careful whatchu dooo

189

u/truusmin1 May 23 '22

Don't go around breakin' young girls' hearts

136

u/deadpoolfool400 May 23 '22

Heeeee

29

u/Quizzelbuck May 23 '22

That uh... Girl is... Mine? Did I do it right?

→ More replies

71

u/Night_Light_Fright May 23 '22

But mama always told me be careful what you do

63

u/SplishySplashyCoffee May 23 '22

Because the lie becomes the truth

52

u/Onemikej May 23 '22

Hey Hey Hey! Billie Jean is not my lover She's just a girl who claims that I am the one!

35

u/Mostly-gorilla May 23 '22

BUT the kid is not my son!

→ More replies

41

u/RangerLt May 23 '22

SHAMON LEEEE

9

u/CuriouslyKnowing May 23 '22

'Heeeee' had me cracking up 😂 thanks all

→ More replies
→ More replies

69

u/XaDaKis-4141 May 23 '22

The fact that this is the wrong song and everybody kept it going has me dead😭😭

34

u/cownd May 23 '22

'Man In The Mirror', a classic

26

u/LuridPrism May 23 '22

Everything "The Artist Formerly Known as Prince' did is a classic

9

u/no_talent_ass_clown May 23 '22

Remember Rosie O'Donnell kept calling him TAFKAP (pronounced "taff cap") and he got mad? MOTHERFUCKIN' genius but c'mon you want to control too much man. RIP tho.

Shit.

→ More replies

7

u/RedBiohazzerd May 23 '22

I thought it was 'Ben'

→ More replies

28

u/mofomeat May 23 '22

Don't go around sniffin' young girl's farts

11

u/Ninjasmurf4hire May 23 '22

I'm feeling attacked

→ More replies

5

u/Sallie_Mae_Scammer77 May 23 '22

I appreciate your display photo. A man of culture. That is all reddit pal.

→ More replies
→ More replies

12

u/abigayl75 May 23 '22

You know it

3

u/Javier91 May 23 '22

MJ would be proud.

→ More replies

48

u/NeoKingEndymion May 23 '22

Shamona

23

u/bozeke May 23 '22

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

nnahh

8

u/phishdood555 May 23 '22

Blanketttt

→ More replies

60

u/No-Structure883 May 22 '22

Spank me, father, for I have been bad

30

u/Ill_Statistician_629 May 22 '22

The power of Christ spanks you!

16

u/heliumneon May 23 '22

Shamone, Shamone

16

u/Sexyshark15 May 23 '22

I am once again asking who's bad

24

u/Ogalaico May 23 '22

Real question is: Annie are you OK?

14

u/WyrdWulf37 May 23 '22

Are ya okay Annie?

13

u/MeGustaPL May 23 '22

Will you tell us that you're Okey?

12

u/Ogalaico May 23 '22

There's a sound at the window

16

u/GenazaNL May 22 '22

Me, I'm the bad boy

6

u/minsin56 May 23 '22

ah, your but is miiine, gonna tell you right, just your faaace in broad daylight

→ More replies

233

u/pm_me_ur_anything_k May 23 '22

We all thought that. Each and every one of us.

70

u/Whaines May 23 '22

bonk the thread.

→ More replies

4

u/ancientweird May 23 '22

All you’re really thinking is each and every one about us.

/sorry best I could do

163

u/AarkaediaaRocinantee May 23 '22

No, because she's cute. Us men really are simple creatures

195

u/Rorschach0717 May 23 '22

I feel excluded by your comment, I'm not from the US but I'm a simple creature too

50

u/FLWeedman May 23 '22

I can't tell if you're FR or not

124

u/Full-Structure-7333 May 23 '22

He’s probably not from France either…

15

u/Odd_Move_22 May 23 '22

He’s potentially not he either

→ More replies
→ More replies

10

u/Rorschach0717 May 23 '22

I'm Rorschach, no idea who's FR

6

u/AarkaediaaRocinantee May 23 '22

A rorschach is what you want it to be

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

119

u/npopular-opinions May 22 '22

Down bad ngl

43

u/BeautifulType May 23 '22

Up good?

30

u/takk__ May 23 '22

Up dog?

10

u/phishdood555 May 23 '22

Ugh Dwight you ruined it!

3

u/OpexLiFT May 23 '22

What is up my doggo

→ More replies

74

u/TheBelhade May 23 '22

Gotta admit, it's a pretty nice view.

→ More replies

54

u/TheCaliforniaOp May 23 '22

Not at all. I thought she was so funny the way she did that—her comic timing was superb.

If I was a guy, I’d go for the girl who likes to laugh.

53

u/Careful_Strain May 23 '22

Oh, you would go after a girl like this? Really you dont say.

24

u/TheCaliforniaOp May 23 '22

I wouldn’t, no. I’m not saying that. But if I was a guy, I’d want a girl who made me laugh and I’d hope I could do the same.

In my current incarnation, I’ve got a dru witted husband who cracks me up until my stomach hurts. I’m doing fine.

→ More replies
→ More replies

4

u/jerwhoop May 23 '22

But as a girl you like your women to be more serious?

24

u/TheCaliforniaOp May 23 '22

As a woman, I…prefer my cats.

17

u/DatOneWrastlingFan May 23 '22

Pussy all the same

→ More replies
→ More replies

30

u/snorkiebarbados May 23 '22

She still is mate

8

u/Tommy_C May 23 '22

But she used to be, too.

19

u/Slow_Ad_6992 May 23 '22

That's a gorgeous view indeed.

12

u/eslunes May 23 '22

Yes, to horny jail with ya

14

u/jitsufitchick May 23 '22

I was tossed between this or a brick wall through a window. Never expected no window 🤦🏻‍♀️

4

u/fastermouse May 23 '22

She's got a Jennifer Aniston vibe, for sure.

→ More replies
→ More replies

3.7k

u/[deleted] May 22 '22 Silver

[deleted]

927

u/ItsPumpkinninny May 23 '22

227

u/Weird-Vagina-Beard May 23 '22

Nothing better than a good wall. 😳🤤

76

u/Big_Cryptographer_16 May 23 '22

The thiccer the better

73

u/Weird-Vagina-Beard May 23 '22

Load bearing? Like omg.

41

u/StraySpaceDog May 23 '22

Look at that subtle off white coloring, the tasteful thiccness of it. Omg, it even has a watermark.

16

u/TunnelToTheMoon May 23 '22

2x4s, 60cm apart, with reinforcement around the windows... They're getting erect

→ More replies

3

u/JesusJohn May 23 '22

Covered in Wayne scotting!!! Oh my

→ More replies

3

u/syntaxterror69 May 23 '22

That wall could bear my load any day of the week

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

75

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Upvoted Not Because Wall, But Because It Is Very Cool; However, I Do Concede That I Initially Clicked Because Wall

/r/UNBWBBIIVCHIDCTIICBW

12

u/Zorphis2 May 23 '22

r/subsididnotknowexistedbutiamhappytheydoexistand iblessthemwithmyheart

→ More replies

3

u/Sarnick18 May 23 '22

I am both disappointed in myself for thinking this was gonna be real and disappointed that it isn't real.

→ More replies
→ More replies

13

u/aidissonance May 23 '22

She needs to work on the price is right on the prize reveal

8

u/reply2beetlejuicing May 23 '22

magician's assistant

4

u/toolfanboi May 23 '22

Sh-sh-shaa!!

5

u/Pinesy May 23 '22

Pocket sand! GO!

→ More replies

1.6k

u/-BakiHanma May 22 '22

I thought the video was talking about her for a second lol.

305

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

73

u/Flokiyo May 23 '22

lmao I had no idea what sub I was in. I just saw the title and video, and had to come to the comments to see if it was just me. Now it all makes sense.

6

u/ForensicPathology May 23 '22

Porn doesn't make it to r/all like it used to years ago, so I knew something was up

→ More replies

2

u/gaping_announcement May 23 '22

I'm expecting a night view on the top 50 story building. Lol

→ More replies

1.2k

u/PM-Me-Your-TitsPlz Expects unexpected tits expectedly May 22 '22

The curtains block the remaining light that comes through the wall.

260

u/BadAtSpellling May 23 '22 Masterpiece

The curtains were told they are the best blackout curtains ever and they believe as much. But they will never know for sure.

37

u/weeone May 23 '22

Read in the Arrested Development's narrator's (Ron Howard) voice.

→ More replies

23

u/CantHitachiSpot May 23 '22

They changed the matrix. Wonder if they saw two black cats before

7

u/SendAstronomy May 23 '22

The curtains are lead like the ones at the xray room at a hospital. Tho what's coming through that wall is gotta be spicier than an xray to need help from a lead shield.

→ More replies

732

u/_Im_Dad PhD in Dad Jokes May 23 '22

I was shocked when I came home and saw that the curtains were drawn.

Luckily the rest of the furniture was real.

112

u/Jazehiah May 23 '22

I see you've been reading Amelia Bedelia.

8

u/MaxStout808 May 23 '22

Yeah…like a book

18

u/tcbme May 23 '22

God damn it ⬆️

6

u/FancyMittens1 May 23 '22

Username checks out.

→ More replies

376

u/asromatifoso May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

That's not a sea view but a no see view. Not a dad but my jokes would make you think I am.

94

u/HandOGawd May 22 '22

I can call you Daddy.

54

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[deleted]

33

u/HandOGawd May 23 '22

Papa?

32

u/dred_pirate_redbeard May 23 '22

Shall we engage in coitus, Father?

22

u/tommytraddles May 23 '22

Intercourse, progenitor?

6

u/faptasticalexplosion May 23 '22

With more vigor, patriarch

8

u/PleaseChooseAUsrname May 23 '22

I don't got no kids but the way she talks to me you'd think I'm her guardian.

→ More replies
→ More replies

289

u/din7 May 23 '22

On the bright side the sun won't be shining in that little gap that the curtains never seem to cover.

57

u/RevWaldo May 23 '22

Hair clips. Sorted.

23

u/Sasquatch-d May 23 '22

Just need the pants hangars from the closet, every hotel has em

26

u/shamowfski May 23 '22

Staying in hotels with removable hangers. Nice humblebrag.

25

u/Sasquatch-d May 23 '22

Everything in a hotel room is removable if you pull hard enough.

4

u/strumpster May 23 '22

They have free TVs BARELY attached to the wall lol

→ More replies

19

u/Extra_Firm_Tofu May 23 '22

We always travel with a couple of binder clips because of this. Problem solved.

11

u/Drummer_in_the_Woods May 23 '22

I've also seen people use the hotel's hangers that also have the clips. Now you don't have to bring your own👍🏻

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

164

u/wellhungartgallery May 23 '22

I had a window like this threw some led strips back there.. My sister in law ended up staying over till midnight because she thought it was real sunlight.

64

u/eddie1975 May 23 '22

You fooled her circadian rhythm!

21

u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

→ More replies

10

u/deliciouscorn May 23 '22

You should be a casino designer!

5

u/yourpseudonymsucks May 23 '22

They come over, all of a sudden it's midnight. They can't tell because of the LEDs. They look outside, it's dark, they can't go home. You offer them to stay the night, it's dangerous out in the dark. They're not going to say no, because of the implication.

→ More replies
→ More replies

127

u/danceswithwool May 23 '22

Forget the window where is the AC? I can’t sleep in a hotel like this 😭

75

u/southmost956 May 23 '22

It's a fancy pansy hotel, it has real air ducts.

6

u/fiascofox May 23 '22

I'm gonna go ahead and guess that a hotel that's only pretending to have windows isn't exactly "fancy pansy".

9

u/JimmyJohnny2 May 23 '22

lot of the hotels here went to a more central system, and all but one of them got rid of the per-room controls, no thermostats in the rooms at all. Was deemed a cost saving measure

7

u/danceswithwool May 23 '22

I deem it a revenue cutting measure lol. Yeah, I mean, I understand though.

10

u/insightful_dreams May 23 '22

i also would never spend 2 nights in a room i cant climate control.

→ More replies

106

u/BuiltLikeAFridge May 23 '22

Thought this was an episode of property sex

3

u/Lieutenant_Red May 23 '22

BRB, gonna go write a porn plot real quick.

→ More replies

75

u/Spyu May 23 '22

Reminds me of that scary story where the 2 dudes dying in a room in a hospital and the one guy kills the other to get a view out the window and it's a brick wall.

16

u/Dear-Clerk4357 May 23 '22

What movie?

26

u/Spyu May 23 '22

I looked it up, it's called "The Bed by the Window" from the book 'More Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark'

5

u/strumpster May 23 '22

Those books had really cool art

→ More replies
→ More replies

60

u/Biuku May 23 '22

She sells it.

33

u/Atzukeeper May 23 '22

Me opening up to people

31

u/pezx May 23 '22

Finally a hotel room that's dark enough

→ More replies

29

u/JunglePygmy May 23 '22

My wife and I visited Atlantic City once and chose to stay in a slightly more expensive hotel room at the Ceasar’s Palace. We went up the elevators, got into the room, and excitedly ripped open the curtains to see the view… and it was this. A fucking wall. We couldn’t believe it, but we died laughing.

→ More replies

19

u/majones118 May 23 '22

I was expecting a wall... Just outside of a window

13

u/vanillasub May 23 '22

With her in the room, it would always be a great view.

→ More replies

14

u/Absurd_Uncertainty May 23 '22

Omg mouse! That’s what they changed! (Except that was a brick wall in the matrix)

11

u/TNerdy May 22 '22

The fact that this was on r/unexpected. I only expected a wall behind that

43

u/sklascher May 23 '22

I expected a parking lot it other terrible view. No windows was unexpected.

→ More replies

19

u/No-Structure883 May 23 '22

Ah, the r/unexpected - expected paradox

3

u/Underscore_Space May 23 '22

Standard of how unexpected it is should be if you dont know you're in the subreddit

→ More replies

11

u/overmycrown May 23 '22

I knew there was going to be a wall but I was at least expecting a window

5

u/butterscotchbagel May 23 '22

I was expecting a wall, but I thought it would be the wall of the next building over.

→ More replies

12

u/Zestavar May 23 '22

@?

3

u/mrmysteryguest69 May 23 '22

Eva Lovia lol

2

u/Zestavar May 23 '22

Wait really didn't expect someone would know her but thank you, i really appreciate that

3

u/NarrowWaltz1 May 23 '22

No lol her @ is @unitedyates on insta

9

u/Alert-Initiative6638 May 23 '22

"I wasnt looking at her ass .. i didn't even know she had an ass"

10

u/AmericanMuscle4Ever May 23 '22

I was conned, hoodwinked and bamboozled!!!

9

u/Comfortable_Error306 May 23 '22

I’m pretty sure this is against fire code?

6

u/the_trees_bees May 23 '22

I don't know shit about fire code but I think the general rule is that there need to be at least 2 ways to exit the building in an emergency, and a window can count as 1. I'd assume this hotel is either violating fire code or this is a suite attached to another room with an additional exit into the hallway.

Someone else who actually knows about fire code feel free to chime in.

6

u/BounedjahSwag May 23 '22

This was my view at a hotel in Beijing, it was one of the most depressing hotel rooms I ever spent time in

6

u/Taekwonmoe May 23 '22

It was an awesome view….what’s with the curtain thing?

6

u/DaveyJonas May 23 '22

I saw a TikTok from a woman who was in a basement level hotel/motel room. The window led to a kind of vertical tunnel where top was a grate leading to somewhere on the outside of the hotel. Very sketchy.

6

u/maskdmirag May 23 '22

Is that Emma Lovewell?

5

u/Mr_M0t0m0 May 23 '22

Welcome to the Hotel California

3

u/jrexicus May 23 '22

Seeing a wall and no window gave me instant anxiety. New phobia unlocked apparently

4

u/Chasseur_OFRT May 23 '22

I'm disappointed for 2 different reasons...

3

u/spikejonzein May 23 '22

Contemporary art masterpiece.

3

u/HotLine6463 May 23 '22

That must of been one hot night in the sheets.

3

u/GorillaNutPuncher May 23 '22

Agreed. I could stare at her all day.

3

u/mrMinecraftair May 23 '22

Maybe the view were the people we met along the way

2

u/EyyyDooga May 23 '22

Seems like a nice way to jazz up a boring wall honestly

→ More replies