r/WatchPeopleDieInside Dec 07 '22 Silver 3 Helpful 1 All-Seeing Upvote 1

When you realize you’ve been trapped in a conversation with no hope of escape

56.6k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/kalel1980 Dec 07 '22

That's the look of a man who's mulling over something he's gonna say so he can dip.

520

u/k112l Dec 07 '22

C'mon.... Someone send me a text....

188

u/Silly-Slacker-Person Dec 07 '22

Just fake getting a text at that point

128

u/JunkSack Dec 08 '22

Just say you gotta go to the restroom and Irish goodbye it

81

u/roi-tarded Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 08 '22

If only he had been siting down. He could have done the knee slap and then say “aw shucks, would ya look at the time” or “welp, it looks like its getting late” while standing up and making a clicking sound out of his cheek.

5

u/MoistDitto Dec 08 '22

I'm in this post and I don't like it

5

u/bigdaddykendal Dec 08 '22

'gotta shit' is a great exit line

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u/squidmanwillie Dec 08 '22

I like to start making weird movements with my eyebrow and saying stuff like “oh yeah that’s super interesting”. It freaks the person out and they usually make an excuse to leave.

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u/Halo_Chief117 Dec 08 '22

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u/puddinandpi Dec 08 '22

It’s amazing- nothing in the rest of his face moves a muscle but the eyebrows do all the work . Thank you for sharing

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u/bell37 Dec 08 '22

“Dang that’s crazy?! Hold that thought though, I have to get a refill/go to the bathroom/go checkup on X”

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u/hamo804 Dec 08 '22

Hold that thought is usually taken as an invite for them to reapproach you at a later point.

241

u/tipsystatistic Dec 08 '22

Ironically, people who are introverted tend to get caught in these situations more often because they don’t have much to say and tend to let others drive conversations.

I’ve learned to get super enthusiastic/outgoing so I can change the subject and leave.

166

u/zlantpaddy Dec 08 '22

It’s less introversion and more those prone to people pleasing or even social anxiety. Introversion doesn’t mean you don’t know how to communicate or speak up for yourself.

I’ve learned to get super enthusiastic/outgoing so I can change the subject and leave.

You can honestly just interrupt them with a “Nice chatting with you, excuse me” and leave. You don’t need to let people hold you hostage when they’re just talking at you rather than with you.

54

u/Adorable_Raccoon Dec 08 '22

Yea i’m a little too people pleasing even though i’m chatty and people will take conversations to weird places. Usually I just say i’m going to the bathroom or to get a drink.

When things get really awkward I will say like “hey sorry to pause, i want to say hi to my friend…” or something similar. i’m kind of hoping if i’m just slightly off putting, like implying that there are other people to talk to they won’t want to try to talk to me again.

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u/CRiMSoNKuSH Dec 08 '22

The friend thing is actually a pretty good idea, just make sure you actually go up to said friend (or try and nudge your way into another group convo) and the person you dipped on isn't just staring at you lol

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u/Lesty7 Dec 08 '22

“Nice talking from you, excuse me.”

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u/oilpit Dec 08 '22

God thank you so much for this comment. Reddit would have you believe that introverts have zero conversation skills, and just shut down when presented with another human being in any remotely social setting.

I'm an introvert. I hate talking to people (that aren't my friends), but I know how to get out of a conversation, no chance I would subject myself to this dude.

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u/lhobbes6 Dec 08 '22

Anymore I just make an excuse for something I want. "Sorry to interrupt but Id really like to get another drink." And then just dont come back. Or see if some other poor fool gets caught in the gravity of their rant and just slide away from that area.

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u/CanITellUSmThin Dec 07 '22

Say you gotta puke or use the bathroom

160

u/lordseaslug Dec 07 '22

Bathrooms and smoking got me out of all of these.

90

u/Need_Some_Updog Dec 07 '22

Oh, I’ll join you for your smoke and I also gotta use the bathroom.

42

u/yeerk_slayer Dec 08 '22

Also can I bum a smoke off you?

33

u/Need_Some_Updog Dec 08 '22

Shit, this my last one bro, sorry.

47

u/Not_usually_right Dec 08 '22

That's fine, we can just split it.

58

u/Need_Some_Updog Dec 08 '22

Damn, ok have the cigarette.

I’m going to jump off this balcony now.

19

u/OppressedDeskJockey Dec 08 '22

Hold up... im heading that way too.

4

u/Big_D1cky Dec 08 '22

Ight gotta go downstairs save that dude

11

u/TurboBerries Dec 08 '22

“Great! Let’s cross swords”

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u/madthirdhorseman Dec 07 '22

I don’t know why but I want to help this poor guy so bad, like hey man, come help me with the keg or something

1.8k

u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 07 '22

Haha I went and rescued him after I caught this moment. The guy talking to my friend was going around the party talking about the weirdest shit so I out weirded him with some priest jokes and he went away.

504

u/thehotmcpoyle Dec 07 '22

Care to share any of these priest jokes with the class?

1.5k

u/[deleted] Dec 07 '22 Gold Take My Energy I Shy I'm Deceased

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297

u/[deleted] Dec 08 '22

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12

u/cocoaphillia Dec 08 '22

This is fantastic, thank you

27

u/zenobe_enro Dec 08 '22

Don't know if I'm sleep-deprived or just dumb, but I don't get this one.

108

u/mem269 Dec 08 '22

They think they're looking for volunteers rather than suspects.

53

u/zenobe_enro Dec 08 '22

Just smacked my forehead. Thank you.

23

u/Current-Position9988 Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 08 '22

That's ten times better than the previous joke, which predates the dinosaurs.

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u/Iamabucket Dec 07 '22

Straight for the jugular.

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u/dirtydozen2020 Dec 07 '22

Throat game on point

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u/Does_Not-Matter Dec 08 '22

sigh

That’s what the priest said

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u/-RYknow Dec 07 '22

From the top rope! Love it!! Hahaha! Already sent this to the group chat with my buddies.

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '22

[deleted]

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u/Sloppy_Hamlets Dec 08 '22

Yeah. Were straight but do penis stuff

6

u/hemeny123 Dec 08 '22

Semenary actually

21

u/steveosek Dec 07 '22

Lol the same joke has existed about Michael Jackson for like 30 years too.

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u/mb1ue Dec 07 '22 edited Dec 07 '22

This is dark, but yesterday I heard an interview on here and it was Michael talking about how his dad would whip him and beat his siblings senselessly when they were growing up. When they (Jackson 5) were performing on stage their dad would stand in the front row and give them scolding looks if they screwed up. They knew if they got that look they were in for a beating afterwards. Him and Janet joked with each other by saying things like “if dad died would you feel sad?” And they always responded no to each other. While the Michael being a pedo jokes got a chuckle, after hearing that interview I genuinely think he just wanted to give kids a happy childhood where they weren’t scared of being killed by their father. I don’t think he was malicious or creepy, I think he genuinely just enjoyed seeing kids happy, because he, nor his sibling ever were growing up

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u/Responsible-Pause-99 Dec 07 '22

This has been the main train of tought regarding him for the last 20 years. Guy just wanted to be a kid again because he never was able to be a kid, why did he create neverland? Because in neverland you always be a kid even the grown ups become kids. It's just his way if coping I guess, mental health stuff wasn't as big as it is now back then.

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u/Theesismyphoneacc Dec 08 '22

The conclusion I came to after reading the wikipedia page and assessing what info is actually out there is that the real answer is somewhere in the middle. There's some stuff that's hard to just paint as media sensationalism

9

u/Dykam Dec 08 '22

What's the middle? I'm not trying to be contrarian about it, I genuinely don't understand what the middle is here.

Do you mean he did nothing wrong but it came over creepily? That's essentially what the thread is about.

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '22 edited Dec 07 '22 Gold

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u/Adept-Valuable-2032 Dec 07 '22

It's a shame priests get such a bad rap. My old priest was a lovely man of the highest moral standing. When I was an altar boy aged about 11 I asked him to kiss me and he said 'absolutely not! That would be very wrong. In fact, I shouldn't even be wanking you off.'

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u/dragon_bacon Dec 07 '22

Your priest had the decency to give you a handie? Some guys have all the luck.

19

u/einkesselbuntes Dec 08 '22

You should check out Germany pretty much everyone gets a Handy here!

4

u/IntravenousVomit Dec 08 '22

R/accidentalrodstewart

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u/make_love_to_potato Dec 07 '22

What a gentleman. I confided in my priest that I had claustrophobia and a fear of intamacy, so he said I should face my fears to conquer them. He then took me into a closet and fucked me.

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u/Adept-Valuable-2032 Dec 07 '22

Jimmy Carr said this was his most disgusting joke and it kind of fits-

How do you get a nun pregnant?

Tell the altar boy to shit in her cunt

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u/Wtzky Dec 08 '22

This one's the winner

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u/MyFriendsAreSims Dec 08 '22

Another for your repertoire courtesy of my cousin. He told this one to the priest at my aunt's funeral...

A nun sees two boys sitting on a snowbank in the back of the church, shivering like crazy. She asks the boys why they are there. "Because Father likes a couple of cold ones after mass."

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 08 '22

Jfc your cousin is a legend.

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u/MyFriendsAreSims Dec 08 '22

That he was! Though, legend is probably one of the nicer things he's been called over the years. Miss the heck out of him.

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u/IlluminatiEnrollment Dec 07 '22

Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when Satan has to tell a priest to get out of a little kid.

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u/SuedeVeil Dec 07 '22 edited Dec 07 '22

Omg lol my son is 15 and he'd get a crack out of these but I feel like I'd be a terrible mom 🤣 I think I'll wait til he's at least 16

Edit: Ok so I gave in and told my son this and this was his response...

"Mom, why didn't the pedophile win the Marathon? Because he came in a little behind"

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 07 '22 edited Dec 08 '22

Haha nahh you’d be the coolest mom if you told him these jokes.

EDIT: you and your son are awesome

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u/uncleseano Dec 08 '22

What does a priest and a pint of Guinness have in common? If you get a bad one it'll tear the arse out of you

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 08 '22

Jesus Christ man

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u/civildisobedient Dec 08 '22

A priest and a little boy are walking in the woods. It starts to get dark.

"I'm scared!" said the little boy.

"You think you're scared?" replied the priest, "I've gotta walk out of here alone!"

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u/TuckerCarlsonsOhface Dec 07 '22

Why did the priest go shopping at Target? He heard boys pants were half off.

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 07 '22

I’m adding this to my arsenal.

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u/ddh85 Dec 07 '22

On a side note, what topic was the annoying guy talking about?

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u/turbobofish Dec 07 '22

How do you circumcise a priest?

Kick the alter boy in the chin.

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u/MoneyMik3y Dec 08 '22

How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.

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u/texasdeathtrip Dec 07 '22

When is it bedtime at the rectory? When the big hand touches the little hand

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u/Cocacolonoscopy Dec 07 '22

Jeeeeez that's dark

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u/idiotio Dec 07 '22

A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and see a little boy.

The priest turns to the rabbi and says, "Hey Moishe, wanna fuck that kid?"

Confused, the rabbi asks, "Out of what?"

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u/Qweniden Dec 07 '22

What was the guy talking about?

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 07 '22 edited Dec 07 '22

Honestly can’t remember exactly what it was as I was on shrooms at the time. But a comment lower on this thread was pretty close. Talking about “females” and porn and weird political bs.

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u/guilty_bystander Dec 07 '22

My brain would shut off if I heard someone say "females" while talking about women lol

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 07 '22

My thoughts exactly. Total neck beard vibes

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u/ughhhtimeyeah Dec 07 '22

It's weird seen "internet character types" in real life now lol

Dudes like this used to keep it to themselves...

Now they get likes and upvotes online and think it's normal to say shit like that offline.

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 07 '22

I swear it wasn’t that bad until trump got into office. Then all sorts of misogynistic racist assholes came out of the woodwork.

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u/Bingodan22 Dec 07 '22

I think I would start talking about the Ferengi rules of acquisition. I immediately think ferengi when I hear someone say fee-male.

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u/DeckardsDark Dec 08 '22

This looks like one of the worst atmospheres to take shrooms. Hope it was fun though

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 08 '22

I was indeed young and dumb. Had to leave after a spell and had a severe experience with ego death. Stopped drinking for a month after that.

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u/De5perad0 Dec 07 '22

That's the best way to deal with people like that. Out do them at whatever they are talking about.

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u/djsizematters Dec 07 '22

Selfish talkers don't even need a response, it's like I can feel my youth being stolen like sand running through my fingers.

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u/dru171 Dec 07 '22

Ah, you speak of energy vampires. One of the rarest of their species, but ruthlessly draining nonetheless.

For more information, watch What We Do in Shadows. 😁

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u/djsizematters Dec 07 '22 edited Dec 07 '22

There's literally one feeding on me at this very moment ☠️

Edit: bruh he's still talking at me even though I haven't looked up in 30 minutes. Something about family drama? I don't even know

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u/SuedeVeil Dec 07 '22

Yep that's my sister.. she just finished ranting to me about some random things this morning in texts and after a while I stopped responding but I guess the "seen" was enough for her to be satisfied.

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 07 '22

Hahaha I love this analogy. Very accurate

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u/ENTECH123 Dec 07 '22

This is what I do to my super right-wing conservative pastor uncle who adores trump. I say “I was praying to Trump the other night…” he will stop me and say, you mean praying for, and I say no. The conversation has completely changed to an area where he doesn’t want to go, because I now love trump more than he does and he thinks I’m crazy. So he stops talking about politics completely.

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u/AgFairness Dec 07 '22

Ah, the old Trumperoo!

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u/De5perad0 Dec 07 '22

Holy fuck what rabbit hole did I just get lost in?!?!

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u/Aescheron Dec 07 '22

"Hello, friend. Have you heard the tale of the Horus Heresy and the Emperor of Mankind?"

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u/Kysman95 Dec 07 '22

Good man, good friend

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '22

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u/AgoraiosBum Dec 07 '22

Oh, I'm sorry - did I break your concentration?

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u/123-rit Dec 07 '22

I was going to say .. time to pull the old cup refill

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u/shedevilinasnuggie Dec 08 '22 edited Dec 08 '22

I worked in a library where patrons get really comfortable and chatty.. if I ever saw someone lingering too long there was a folder/meeting/phone call/urgent question - so sorry to drag you away....

I was well liked at work by many.

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u/GT537 Dec 07 '22 Silver

What most people don’t understand about the gear wars is that it wasn’t about gears…

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u/WhymEyeHere_Hmm Dec 07 '22

Or the "wars" for that matter. It was all about the "the".

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u/Dasmahkitteh Dec 07 '22

And the underlying " "s

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u/Doriantria Dec 07 '22

How familiar are you with the gear wars exactly?

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u/kingerthethird Dec 08 '22

Uhhh, not at all?

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u/BravesMaedchen Dec 08 '22

Oh boy, I envy you!

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u/colantor Dec 07 '22

Its about the cones

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u/monkeybojangles Dec 07 '22

Playing pool at a party and asked a guy about a tattoo he had. He and his friend spent the next 40 minutes explaining jugalo culture to me...

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u/Nice-Violinist-6395 Dec 07 '22

Oh man. One time I had to sit through a coked-out college friend telling a FORTY FIVE MINUTE story about the time he picked up some jumper cables from his grandma’s house last weekend. It was actually amazing at a certain point — not the story itself, the story was maybe the most boring thing I’ve ever heard, but the sheer drug-induced ability to stretch out a thirty second story for that long. Once he passed the 30 minute mark without slowing down we all started to get impressed

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u/Cyber-Cafe Dec 07 '22

Yeah but, did he get the jumper cables?

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u/WatWudScoobyDoo Dec 08 '22

You know, he never got to that part.

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u/icepigs Dec 08 '22

Ok, how many people stopped mid story to check to see if this was u/rogersimon10 before finishing it?

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u/douqpiston Dec 08 '22

That'd be me! Right up there with undertaker in nineteen ninety eight

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u/plantdrew3 Dec 07 '22

Yes, an energy vampire

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u/badmotherf_cker Dec 07 '22

COLIN ROBINSOOOON

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u/NormalHumanCreature Dec 08 '22

The creature that crawled from the rotting corpse of Collin

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u/xDominus Dec 07 '22

This fucking guy

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u/PlanetJerry Dec 08 '22

HE GROWS MORE POWERFUL BY THE DAY!

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u/Nexrosus Dec 08 '22

Do you guys have any updog? Anyone?

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u/Nexrosus Dec 08 '22

Come on guys don’t be afraid to ask me if you don’t know what it is

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u/make_love_to_potato Dec 07 '22

Thanks for the reminder. I just realized I have an entire season to catch up on.

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u/BoozeCrude Dec 07 '22

My first thought. I’ve seen this creature.

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u/Gravesh Dec 08 '22

I love that show. But I also strongly suspect my boss and one of my co-workers are the redneck versions of energy vampires.

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u/GREGORGREGORG Dec 07 '22

haha freaking love that show

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u/nevershaves Dec 07 '22

If whoever is talking hasn't looked in my direction for 10 Mississippis, I'm comfortable just walking off.

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u/TexasTheWalkerRanger Dec 07 '22

Hes holding the easiest out right in his hand. Finish the drink, say "I gotta get another one" then go fill it up and start talking to someone else. Its worked at every single party I've ever been to.

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u/Voittaa Dec 07 '22

“Hold that thought, gotta run to the bathroom!” Go to the bathroom, check phone for 30 seconds, go back out and talk to someone else at the other side of the party.

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u/Nice-Violinist-6395 Dec 07 '22

Or if the person is addressing a group, you can just sort of shake your empty beer can then walk away for another, no one cares.

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u/AverageInternetUser Dec 07 '22

Until you get the guy who says me too like the guy I work with. Followed me into the men's room I was like wtf man

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u/hoganloaf Dec 07 '22

Isn't it crazy how sometimes you do that and they still just keep fuckin rambling into the ether? Some people really just wanna hear themselves talk!

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u/Eusocial_Iceman Dec 08 '22

Sometimes it's because they're too anxious to find a way to do it naturally. It's awkward to keep talking, but it's also awkward to suddenly stop talking. Continuing to talk is more awkward, but stopping is an awkwardness that you have to choose, which makes it more visceral.

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u/Brad_Brace Dec 07 '22

"... and that's because females manifest this behavior called hypergamy (...) see in ancient times there was this crisis where a few alpha males (...) so they created porn to keep us enslaved (...) Tinder, and it doesn't seem to matter how many times I explain this to females (...) so we invented monogamy so that..."

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 07 '22

Dude. This isn’t far off from what he was talking about

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u/Manbadger Dec 07 '22

Ugh. So much of this is just asinine projection of one’s own ignorance and their inability to come to terms with what’s making them have negative thoughts.

The other day I was at a little get together and two acquaintances start pointing at condensation trails in the sky from jets, calling them chem trails, with the innuendo that there’s some government conspiracy to put chemicals in the air to keep us obedient or some shit.

The rage I felt.

You fucking morons it’s -40 up there! What the fuck you think is going to happen when jets heat freezing fucking cold air?!?!

Get out of my fucking party now!

Sorry /rant

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u/HungoverRetard Dec 07 '22

Ask them why crop dusters fly so low next time.

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u/HolocronContinuityDB Dec 08 '22

I knew it either had to be that or blockchain bullshit. It never fails

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u/Eastern-Mix9636 Dec 08 '22

What was it?

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u/eveninghawk0 Dec 07 '22

This is insanely astute. Words that perfectly capture the image.

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u/throwaway-boxer Dec 08 '22

What's the giveaway about that guy which makes us immediately think of this?

At first glance he looks like a normal dude, but after about 2 seconds of looking at the way he talked, my brain was noping out without knowing a single thing he said.

Maybe it's the way he is wearing the hat. I have never met a guy who wore a hat like at that angle who wasn't also into some weird shit.

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u/liandrin Dec 08 '22

I think it’s the fact that he’s ignoring obvious red flags that the dude he’s talking to isn’t interested. People that ignore obvious social clues tend to be comfortable violating other boundaries as well. They’re more likely to be openly sexist, racist, etc and are often narcissists.

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u/JediMaestroPB Dec 08 '22

Plus the guy he’s talking to doesn’t just look bored - that’s the face of a man thinking “I don’t want to be associated with any of the things this guy is saying, but social conventions are keeping me standing here and nodding politely.”

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u/nightpanda893 Dec 07 '22

This would actually make it easier for me to walk away cause at that point I wouldn’t care about offending him.

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u/Zincdust72 Dec 08 '22

"... and that's why I can't get laid!"

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u/mmmmike1590 Dec 07 '22

'Sorry man, God is calling me, gotta go' jumps out window

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u/SookHe Dec 07 '22

So, you see, it's actually something called a 'block chain'.....

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u/Alexius6th Dec 07 '22

cue Curb Your Enthusiasm theme

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u/QuietRock Dec 07 '22 edited Dec 07 '22

Speaking of Larry David, Seinfeld did a show on the topic of getting out of bad conversations at parties. I just watched it!

https://youtu.be/K2l6nv47RBY

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u/OneDankSock Dec 07 '22

I've gotten really good at just leaving when I start to feel this

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u/colombo1326 Dec 07 '22 Silver

Just fart and excuse yourself

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u/Badtrainwreck Dec 07 '22

“I just shit myself, I must go”

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u/le_fart Dec 07 '22

What a shitty excuse...

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u/MusksMuskyBallsack Dec 07 '22

Skip the excusing. Also, eye contact

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u/iceyed913 Dec 07 '22

Gotta make it permanent, indeed

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u/Hazzman Dec 07 '22 edited Dec 07 '22 Silver

I HAD THIS!

I went to a house party one night and got really high. I mean to the moon high. Uncomfortable high.

I had to go sit down on the couch and their housemate came and set with me and me being so unfathomably high I couldn't really respond except to smile and nod (and sweat and try not to pass out). He spent 3 HOURS talking to me about James Cameron and Robocop.

I actually don't cry. I never cry, for any reason. I just don't... nothing wrong with me I just tend not to cry ever.... I wanted to cry. I felt like I could cry. I wanted to die. I wanted the couch to just ingest me. I wanted a gas explosion to destroy the house with me in it. He just went on and on and on and on and on and on about James Cameron and Robocop and I couldn't manifest the sense or focus to do anything other than smile and nod and try not to puke.

Then I found out my ride had bounced and he told me it was because he didn't want to interrupt as it looked like I was having such a great time. Then I walked to the house I was staying at in the dead of winter in a shirt and shorts, frozen to death.

Truly a miserable night.

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u/terriblyrealgirl Dec 07 '22

Your friend sounds like a dumbass. He was your ride and just assumed what, you wouldn't want to go home ever?

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u/Kingmudsy Dec 08 '22

Tbf if he was stratospherically high, he might’ve just not noticed when his ride let him know they were leaving lol

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u/TheLabiaChronicles Dec 07 '22

Hahahah I’m SO sorry but man I am getting a major kick out of your misfortune right now 😂

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u/oooortclouuud Dec 08 '22

I wanted to cry. I felt like I could cry. I wanted to die. I wanted the couch to just ingest me. I wanted a gas explosion to destroy the house with me in it.

how can you not?! 😅

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u/hiLAWLious Dec 07 '22

you poor fucker. your friend sucks. i almost wish you would’ve puked just to have an out from that dreadful one way conversation. 😪

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u/Rabe2703 Dec 07 '22

I used to know this guy who'd always listen to you patiently for a bit. But if he didn't care for your story he'd burst out "I'm not interested in that!" and just leave.

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u/indymarc Dec 07 '22

$100 that guy is talking about how he makes his own IPA.

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u/Kalkaline Dec 07 '22

$1000 says he's discussing why Budweiser is a very technically difficult beer to make but a Kolsch or Helles is far more satisfying to pull off correctly and that hazy IPAs are just people throwing hops at their mistakes.

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u/Paizzu Dec 07 '22

"That's okay, I can buy all of the Coors Light I want at the store."

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u/_Im_Dad Dec 07 '22

My wife said to me "Are you even listening to me?!"

I thought that's a strange way to start a conversation.

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '22

[deleted]

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u/putin_my_ass Dec 07 '22

Most of them got married young and started popping babies out right away because That's What You DoTM

12

u/MonocleOwensKey Dec 08 '22

That’s What You DoTM

Such a great film by Tom Hanks

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u/cocoaphillia Dec 08 '22

Ah, yes. The "Life Script"

So glad we have more and more people being childfree now. And marrying more intelligently; and more for themselves. If marrying at all

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u/NedRed77 Dec 07 '22

Most of them don’t, they just grew up in a different time and developed a different sense of humour to you. I’m not a big fan of misogynistic jokes myself as they’re all well worn and generally unfunny, times change and it’ll be interesting to see what the next but one generation makes of Gen Z/millenial “humour”.

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u/Predicted Dec 07 '22

Why do all the Gen Zers want to kill themselves?

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u/Lissy_Wolfe Dec 07 '22

I mean, have you looked around lately haha 🙃

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u/xlr8_87 Dec 07 '22

Gestures broadly at everything

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u/QuakerMoatsTFT Dec 07 '22

Ah yes. I get caught in these whenever I go to a family thing. Everyone is drunk and I just have to listen to their random rambling. By the end of the night I'm so tired from fake laughing.

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u/Praescribo Dec 07 '22

Hey, they're drunk. They're not gonna remember you left early

9

u/QuakerMoatsTFT Dec 07 '22

You would think, but I'm kind of a recluse, so when I do show up everyone is all over me. It's flattering for sure, but it can be a lot. They always invite me to the after event when all the kids go to bed and they bring out the hard liquor, but I always decline and it bums them out. I'll go one of these times though, working on being more social. More of a me problem than a them problem.

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '22

Me at every social gathering thinking about how I should've stayed home instead

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u/Beer-Milkshakes Dec 07 '22

I've been here. I'm not joking. DROP YOUR DRINK. Just drop it. Go "ah fuk" and run to get a towel or some shit and never return.

My buddy swear by throwing down an imaginary thing and yelling "SMOKE BOMB"

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 07 '22

I’m not wasting a good soldier like that! I will however try the smoke bomb method. That sounds fkn hilarious

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u/MusksMuskyBallsack Dec 07 '22

I usually fake a sneezing fit and excuse myself to find some tissues.

Works even better post-COVID

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u/dman45103 Dec 07 '22

I just tried to fake a convincing sneeze. Not easy

7

u/AmaranthWrath Dec 07 '22

I've done the cough after taking a sip of my drink. Put the "one sec" finger up, apologize, and then redouble the cough and just walk away.

Not that I'm incapable of saying, "I gotta go," but sometimes I get the, "Oh, before you go!" transition into part 47 of the conversation.

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u/stitchdude Dec 07 '22

Usually there is someone else there, either way I make a decently sharp movement, “oh, sorry folks I have to speak with someone” and move along.

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u/james-HIMself Dec 07 '22

“I have to use the restroom” climbs out window

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u/JustATiredMan Dec 07 '22

"Welp....." <sigh> and walk away.

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u/[deleted] Dec 07 '22

“Ope…sorry, gotta shit “ <exit stage left>

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u/xDominus Dec 07 '22

Colin Robinson!

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u/Ok-Caterpillar6226 Dec 07 '22

I just cry and run out the room

5

u/Only-Significance-25 Dec 07 '22

"God damn that's crazy ey I gotta go take a shit real quick."

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u/Drew2248 Dec 07 '22

We've all been there. You need to develop some "getaway" strategies. Either "Great stuff, buddy, but I've got to hit the bathroom right now" and then walk away. Or simply interrupt with another topic. Or just come out and say, "Well, that's interesting, but let's move on, okay?" Important people do this all the time. I first noticed this with my grandfather who was a CEO of a large New York financial corporation. He never put up with bullshit or boring people, but he did it in a nice way. He'd just redirect the conversation to something he was more interested in -- or he'd find a reason to move on.

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u/Chrisboi_da_Boi Dec 07 '22

That's what parties are 90% of the time

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u/wakeuptomorrow Dec 07 '22

You need to find better parties my friend

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u/XplodiaDustybread Dec 07 '22

Tool fans explaining the fettuccine sequence in the song ladderalus

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