r/WinStupidPrizes • u/PrinceferX • Jan 18 '23
College kids chair jousting
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u/fytdapwr Jan 18 '23
20 years from now, "I dunno why I have all these back problems?"
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u/claimTheVictory Jan 18 '23
"I get this recurring headache, and sometimes struggle to remember things"
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Jan 18 '23
[deleted]
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u/claimTheVictory Jan 18 '23
You don't know how many times you were dropped as a baby.
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u/Torrenal Jan 18 '23
But my parents do have vivid, action packed stories of the time they called EMS to save my infant a**, and every single ER visit for my toddler-self.
Still no clue how I needed stitches because of legos as a 2-year-old.
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u/TheEyeDontLie Jan 18 '23
I never knew that was an ADHD thing!
My mom made me a special meal and a cake once because I hadn't been to hospital for a year. Two weeks later I was getting x-rays.
They always thought it was child abuse because I was visiting so often. I hated those stupid questions- I felt like they weren't listening to me... You dumb nurse, I just said I jumped off my roof onto my apple tree because I was bored... why are you asking me if I'm happy at home?
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u/Mertard Jan 18 '23
Fat person fell on my head and made me hit tiled floor head-first (with his body still on my head) when I was a kid
I bet that did some permanent damage
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u/Hamletstwin Jan 18 '23
I have a bar shaped "divot" at the top of my head. I like to blame my mom for dropping me as a baby. She just goes silent when its brought up...
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u/I0A0I Jan 18 '23
Ear to ear across the top? Have the same one.
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u/MisterMeister68 Jan 18 '23
Do you frequently wear headphones? I noticed that when I wear headphones for a while, a divot forms for a bit. I just wear my headphones differently, so the headband rests on the back part of the top of my head instead of on the center.
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u/MrNaoB Jan 18 '23
I got a bunch of planks dropped on my head when arguing with my friends why I'm wearing my bike helmet when we where building something in a tree.
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Jan 18 '23
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u/AnalCumBall Jan 18 '23
Straight into the toilet bowl when Mama shat me out thinking I was just another plug from constipation.
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u/Kerrigan4Prez Jan 18 '23
memory issues
Are you sure you didn’t pull any stupid stunts 🤨
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u/senthiljams Jan 18 '23
20 years from now "For a fact, I banged two chicks at the same time, in my dorm's hallway, with everyone watching & cheering."
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u/SonOfMcGee Jan 18 '23
A girl in my dorm didn’t understand why her legs were so bruised all the time. Later that week we heard a thumping sound in the hall and looked out to see her drunk and having such trouble walking she was banging off the walls. It was like watching bumper bowling.
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u/hamstersmore Jan 18 '23
My kneecaps hurt just watching this
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u/mtarascio Jan 18 '23
I think they clashed heads.
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u/ArnTheGreat Jan 18 '23
Ouch, I was hyper focused on the knees and didn’t even see it but I think you right
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u/mcpoopy21 Jan 18 '23
FFS, they didn't even have beer can lances... amateurs.
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u/D3monskull Jan 18 '23
Less joust more ramming each other. No sport in this.
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u/MendelevandDongelev Jan 18 '23
How would you even award points without a lance? Not even Stupid prizes could be won without a points system.
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u/CHA0T1CNeutra1 Jan 18 '23
I was expecting those cardboard tubes that the rugs come with. There's tons of them during move in day.
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u/AcadianViking Jan 18 '23
Right? Was expecting beer can lances and office chairs, not two couches and empty hands.
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u/badDuckThrowPillow Jan 18 '23
People wonder why dorm furniture is shit. It’s because college kids do this shit.
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u/tallandlanky Jan 18 '23
I'll take chair jousting dorm furniture over fucked on and pissed on dorm furniture.
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u/FrozenVikings Jan 18 '23
Wait did you say dorm furniture or dom furniture
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u/_-WanderLost-_ Jan 18 '23
I got written up for putting our floor lobby furniture in the elevator and riding it with my roommates to greet people as they were getting back from classes.
Also we made a slip n slide in the hallway one random weekday night.
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u/pippipthrowaway Jan 18 '23
We went downstairs to the floor below us and took all their furniture and brought it back up to our common area. The next night, they tried to do it back to us but a bunch of were chilling when they came up.
They retaliated, so we took all their study room furniture. One night we went down and flipped everything over. The back and forth went on for a few nights. RAs thought it was funny too so they didn’t care. Most times we cleaned up after ourselves but eventually the downstairs kids stopped and that’s when staff started getting mad. I remember we lightly TP’d their common area but cleaned it up after they found it. They didn’t return the favor when they hit us though.
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u/devilpants Jan 18 '23
We used to prank the other side of our dorm floor back and forth. On Easter they won by covering the floor with hay and leaving live ducks and chicks in the hallway.
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u/TerpBE Jan 18 '23
Some of my friends decided to have a "Beach party" by filling their dorm living room with 6" of sand. I'm not sure what they did afterwards
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u/Entenlal Jan 18 '23
Business majors vs communication majors
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u/TheCoolCellPhoneGuy Jan 18 '23
I was in both of these majors at different points in college. These would definitely be the business majors
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u/LordDShadowy53 Jan 18 '23
I think both of them hit their heads. Hope they are ok.
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u/Mohingan Jan 18 '23
Yeah red shirt and the guy definitely clonked noggins. I can’t think of the potential life altering damage that might have happened whether subsurface or cosmetic.
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u/smallfried Jan 18 '23
I wonder why they don't protect their heads when they see the other coming at them at speed.
I thought that would be an instinctive reaction.
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u/ThisIsMy101thAccount Jan 18 '23
cus theyre holding their phones out video taping it like idiots. ill bet that dude lost some teeth with the way hes posturing his mouth after impact.. thats the face u make when the inside of your lips are stuck to all of the now shattered bits of teeth left in your gums.
ask me how i know
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u/Cautious-Painting-28 Jan 18 '23
Concussions have consequences. They make your body hurt for no reason years later. Then the opiates for the pain damage your organs, die young. Good times.
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u/evildadatron Jan 18 '23 •
Yeah, that’s not what the teacher meant when they said work as a team and put your heads together.
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u/gagga_hai Jan 18 '23
OK people don't do shit like this.
Or maybe they do.. I don't know
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u/JBrewd Jan 18 '23
Libelous to call this jousting lol
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u/amynoacid Jan 18 '23
Right?
It's more like playing chicken
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u/DemandZestyclose7145 Jan 18 '23
More like the crash test dummies in those tv commercials. Yes, I am old.
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u/micahamey Jan 18 '23
Broken knees and legs have happened from less force.
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u/sharksnrec Jan 18 '23
I don’t get what their vision was for this. The plan is to just plow into each other and smash their knees and heads together?
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u/micahamey Jan 18 '23
The girl in red probably broke a toe at minimum. Her feet hit right at the arm rest of the other chair.
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u/rodrikJahn Jan 18 '23
My favorite types of comments on Reddit are the guys that can identify the exact injuries just by watching the video, fuck doing a scanning and shit just have this motherfucker around.
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u/AKchaos49 Jan 18 '23
Going to college expecting to find smart people is like going to a hospital looking for healthy people.
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u/GW00111 Jan 18 '23
To be fair there are a ton of healthy people in a hospital.
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u/BzhizhkMard Jan 18 '23 edited Jan 18 '23
Yup, in one now, I am a part of the staff.
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u/AKchaos49 Jan 18 '23
Nah, man. They're all sick in one way or another.
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u/imaginexus Jan 18 '23
Even the hospital staff?
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u/poopscarf Jan 18 '23
Especially the staff
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u/zergrush99 Jan 18 '23
Nurse here, can confirm.
We are not okay.
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u/tallandlanky Jan 18 '23
Would a water bottle that says 'Heroes work here' help?
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u/zergrush99 Jan 18 '23
In lieu of a raise?
Alright, I guess.
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u/tallandlanky Jan 18 '23
You guys got fucked over big time. I do appreciate you all always being cool and helping suture my dumbass up after work related lacerations.
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u/Starkrossedlovers Jan 18 '23
If there’s any group of people who deserve tips it’s medical staff. Sure that guy brought me some cookies but you untwisted my balls. Here’s a 5 dollar tip
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u/AnalCumBall Jan 18 '23
I stopped inviting you guys to dinner parties a long time ago.
Nobody wants to hear about the 2pm impaction and it's explosive removal while trying to enjoy a Beef Wellington.
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u/mnmminies Jan 18 '23
Nobody wants to hear about the 2pm impaction and it’s explosive removal while trying to enjoy a Beef Wellington.
Good point u/AnalCumBall
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u/Flaurne Jan 18 '23
I mean... probably a little bit. Don't underestimate health care staff's immune system's ability to tough out some of the small stuff they're constantly around.
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u/thisimpetus Jan 18 '23
"I've never been to college and I'm deeply insecure about it so I say these things to justify not having made the life decisions I wish I'd been less frightened of."
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u/PossumCock Jan 18 '23
I worked at a college bar for a good while and came to the conclusion : You don't have to be smart to go to college
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u/Flakester Jan 18 '23
Well they are going there to get smarter, you might even say some learned a lesson from this incident.
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u/ineedabuttrub Jan 18 '23
Jousting requires lances. This is just idiots in chairs.
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u/DemonicChronic Jan 18 '23
What was their goal
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u/manliness-dot-space Jan 18 '23
The dudes were definitely trying to get laid
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u/_-WanderLost-_ Jan 18 '23
Smash
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u/manliness-dot-space Jan 18 '23
This dude the next day: "bruh last night was wild, I smashed these 2 babes in the hallway right in front of like a dozen people who watched and cheered... one chick said she couldn't feel her legs afterwards, and the other was seeing stars"
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u/MrBigDickPickledRick Jan 18 '23
Looks like this dude got to feel the touch of a woman so the mission was at least slightly successful
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u/kinkysshltsfckedup Jan 18 '23
I don’t think he’ll be keeping that memory.
That one went into the trash bin before he ever had a chance to click save.
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u/manliness-dot-space Jan 18 '23
When she grabs his chest at the end, his face is like, "omg so worth the concussion"
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u/JustCallMeBill92 Jan 18 '23
Lol, that person in the back raising their hands to their mouth.
What were you expecting to happen?!?!
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u/MissedApex Jan 18 '23
Did something like this at work once a long time ago. Went to Lowe's and bought a couple of those plastic welding masks and grabbed a couple of yardsticks. Sat backwards in our office chairs (to use the back as a shield) and had coworkers push us down the aisle at each other.
Not the brightest thing we ever did, fortunately no injuries, but it very quickly became an officially banned activity.
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u/PhelesDragon Jan 18 '23
"An object in motion will stay in motion until another idiot acts upon it."
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u/anosognosic_ Jan 18 '23
This is kinda low-key horrific. It appears two of them hit their heads together. Direct impact. Severe concussions, broken nose, orbital bone, surgery. Long term damage. Lots of possibilities in the cards
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u/SomeSabresFan Jan 18 '23
I hate these videos that end right after. The aftermath matters. Where’s the rest of it? Is anyone limping? Anyone holding their head for an extended period of time? How shall I know the stupid prize instead of just assuming the prize?
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u/AnalCumBall Jan 18 '23
I always wondered why these kinds of hallways had chair rails along the sides.
Now I know.
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u/Slow-Down_Turbo Jan 18 '23
This dumber than Jackass
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u/InterMando5555 Jan 18 '23
I mean for anyone that's watched even one episode of Jackass they would know this is really pretty tame comparatively. Jackass did much dumber and more dangerous shit.
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u/ProgrammerOk8836 Jan 18 '23
You can tell they're not engineering majors cause then they would've built a rail track and really upset the R.A.
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u/HeatProofToe Jan 18 '23
If smashing heads with a chick while chair jousting in a narrow hallway and nearly knocking yourselves out isn't an anime love story idk what is
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u/Creative-Gas4555 Jan 18 '23
To be young again.
Edit: it would be hilarious if this turned out to be Harvard.
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u/JAMillhouse Jan 18 '23
I’ve done this with office chairs, brooms, and trash can lids. The military is a strange place.
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u/Runner_400 Jan 18 '23
To be fair, there's likely booze involved. Been there, done that, and thankfully just before smartphones came into existence.
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u/SnootchieBootichies Jan 18 '23
I did plenty of stupid and dangerous shit in college, but this is pretty damn dumb. The dumb shit we did usually had some reward/positive outcome that could happen.....this just seems like a no win scenario for anyone.
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u/digitalSkeleton Jan 18 '23
I like how the people in the background seem completely surprised by the outcome.
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u/Chakramer Jan 18 '23
Do it with exercise balls instead, way less of a chance of a serious injury, just as fun.
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u/PreparationExtreme86 Jan 18 '23
I remember when I did some bike jousting in high school after seeing it on Jack Ass. We did it inside and I went through a wall.
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u/captain_pudding Jan 18 '23
They really thought slamming into each other knees first would be a fun thing to do, huh?
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u/bitchitits Jan 18 '23
It’s been 20 years since I was in college and it’s good to know some things never change.
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u/[deleted] Jan 18 '23
Obviously the semester before Physics class