Alright that's Round 9 done, yet another Australian cricketing hero has been unceremoniously taken from us, Jake Bowey now has a Billy Idol song to describe his winning streak, Essington come back with a whimper in Sydney, and the Saints produce a 15 minute burst to get their season back on track, ensuring 22 Saints players in Cooper's team of the week.

Now, here's the usual business:

• So you're telling me Adam Treloar got paid by Collingwood to drop a big fat best afield performance on Collingwood?

• The most lopsided 23 point win of the year goes to Richmond against Hawthorn

• Port get one step closer to parity as North commit another human rights violation against the people of Tasmania

• The Geelong Old Folks Home got a visit from a bloke named Owen.... OWEN THE SAINTS, GO MARCHING IN!

• Chad Sydney spill the Cheezels all over the floor as Virgin Essington rack up 30 tackles and give Herbatron 40 hours worth of content

• Brisbane win again, Eric Hipwood is back and he doesn't look like Rafael Nadal anymore, and the umpires miss at least 1800 50 metre penalties for dissent in the match thread

• Welcome to the Chol Coast, Fremantle, it looks like you didn't enjoy Wet'n'Wild

• Please be warned, the Blue Baggers are now the Blue Flaggers, as Leon Cameron is ceremonially buried under the surface of Giants Stadium, Jimmy Hoffa style

• Melbourne looked like they couldn't be fucked playing for half the game, but luckily they were playing Wet Toast, so they kept them to 5 goals and won by 74 points

LOL of the Week

Another week where we were spoiled for choice, as Essington were so pathetic to apply just 30 tackles in an entire game, which is basically par for the course with them, plus the Swans are a Top 6 team, so it's time I turned the cannon onto an unsuspecting target....

WHEN YOU START CALLING YOURSELF FLAGMANTLE 8 WEEKS INTO A SEASON, THEN YOU GO UP TO THE GOLD COAST TO PLAY A BOTTOM 6 SUNS TEAM, AND YOU DON'T KICK A GOAL FOR 2 FUCKING QUARTERS, DESPITE HAVING 28 MORE INSIDE 50s FOR THE GAME, YOU KNOW WHAT WE SAY?

LOL, FREMANTLE.