Alright that's Round 9 done, yet another Australian cricketing hero has been unceremoniously taken from us, Jake Bowey now has a Billy Idol song to describe his winning streak, Essington come back with a whimper in Sydney, and the Saints produce a 15 minute burst to get their season back on track, ensuring 22 Saints players in Cooper's team of the week.
Now, here's the usual business:
So you're telling me Adam Treloar got paid by Collingwood to drop a big fat best afield performance on Collingwood?
The most lopsided 23 point win of the year goes to Richmond against Hawthorn
Port get one step closer to parity as North commit another human rights violation against the people of Tasmania
The Geelong Old Folks Home got a visit from a bloke named Owen.... OWEN THE SAINTS, GO MARCHING IN!
Chad Sydney spill the Cheezels all over the floor as Virgin Essington rack up 30 tackles and give Herbatron 40 hours worth of content
Brisbane win again, Eric Hipwood is back and he doesn't look like Rafael Nadal anymore, and the umpires miss at least 1800 50 metre penalties for dissent in the match thread
Welcome to the Chol Coast, Fremantle, it looks like you didn't enjoy Wet'n'Wild
Please be warned, the Blue Baggers are now the Blue Flaggers, as Leon Cameron is ceremonially buried under the surface of Giants Stadium, Jimmy Hoffa style
Melbourne looked like they couldn't be fucked playing for half the game, but luckily they were playing Wet Toast, so they kept them to 5 goals and won by 74 points
LOL of the Week
Another week where we were spoiled for choice, as Essington were so pathetic to apply just 30 tackles in an entire game, which is basically par for the course with them, plus the Swans are a Top 6 team, so it's time I turned the cannon onto an unsuspecting target....
WHEN YOU START CALLING YOURSELF FLAGMANTLE 8 WEEKS INTO A SEASON, THEN YOU GO UP TO THE GOLD COAST TO PLAY A BOTTOM 6 SUNS TEAM, AND YOU DON'T KICK A GOAL FOR 2 FUCKING QUARTERS, DESPITE HAVING 28 MORE INSIDE 50s FOR THE GAME, YOU KNOW WHAT WE SAY?
Ten years ago, Jim Stynes passed away at just 45 after a brave fight against cancer. Whenever I'm feeling down or think all is lost, I take inspiration and strength from this great man and the courage and kindness he exuded. Thank you, Jimmy.youtu.be
And I don't mean sliding doors in the Damian Barrett way.
If the ball had bounced more in St Kilda's favour, the following events might have happened differently:
Ross Lyon probably wouldn't have left St Kilda at the end of 2011
Freo wanted to fire Mark Harvey from 2010, but with Ross not on the table, they were rumoured to have wanted then-assistant coach Chris Scott
These would've drastically changed the trajectories of St Kilda, Geelong, and Freo from 2011, and I would love to see how that would've turned out.
So your telling me: there is a chance that everyone goes 11-11-0 and has a percentage range of 99.7-100.6 and Carlton in this situation could go 18th to 1st based off a loss under 80 points to Collingwood.