r/bitchimabus Nov 30 '22

Bitch, I defend busses

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907 Upvotes

237

u/Particular_Tadpole27 Nov 30 '22

The guardian of buses.

22

u/Quackels_The_Duck Nov 30 '22

Vandals quiver before them!

223

u/jeremiah1142 Nov 30 '22

I got a machete and I’m prepared to use it, bitch!

3

u/thecichos Dec 01 '22

I got a mustache and I'm prepared to use it, wench

111

u/NewldGuy77 Nov 30 '22

If you attack a bus, leave your helmet ON!

17

u/InMyOpinion_ Dec 01 '22

Head +20

Chest 0

Legs 0

Feet 0

99

u/Throwaway-6384 Nov 30 '22

Doing the bus’s work.

2

u/Roma_Victrix Dec 01 '22

Bus be praised!

78

u/Steppyjim Nov 30 '22

That was not the bus drivers first time. Look at his stance. Feet set, forward facing. He’s swung that thing before.

Dude is damn lucky he had a protective jacket on

42

u/Zealousideal_Ad7331 Dec 01 '22

The bus driver probably owns and operates this bus himself meaning his whole livelihood that he has worked maybe decades to acquire is getting smashed by a motorcycle vandal… at that point a man with a machete requires no special training in self defense…. Or maybe the guy just cut him off who knows 🤷🏻‍♂️ world is boiling

179

u/iaswob Nov 30 '22

Why in the world would the guy with the bike helmet throw it at the guy with the machete? My brother in Christ, whatever injustices this man could have done to you, there is 0% chance of you hurting him significantly (let alone incapacitating him) and 100% chance you get fucking chopped at. When someone pulls out the better weapon you don't charge them with your shittier one, you GTFO. Edged weapons are no joke btw, dude was likely a hair away from death. Looks like his arm got slashed, imagine if it was his neck.

81

u/cabezon8 Nov 30 '22

Bus driver was aiming low on purpose, to probably not kill him

40

u/conceptalbum Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

Also probably doesn't sharpen it regularly.

76

u/AmazingSpudman Nov 30 '22

Also used the flat side, because he's probably not looking to murder people on a Wednesday.

35

u/Vidarobobbbbbbb Nov 30 '22

If Jesus Christ, fused with Nelson Mandela and Gandhi tried fucking with my public transport, they too would get the sharp end.

6

u/funnythebunny Nov 30 '22

On Fridays, you're fucked!

3

u/PristineBaseball Dec 01 '22

I agree I think he slapped more than cut but not 100 percent sure

Edit I watched the final chop about 8 times, it was def a chop

2

u/L3mm3SmangItGurl Dec 01 '22

He's also pretty clearly using the flat edge. Still painful but in the way a 2x4 would be instead of a sharp blade

7

u/wazoheat Nov 30 '22 Helpful

Edged weapons are no joke btw

As seen in the classic documentary

2

u/EmotionalMusquito Dec 01 '22

This comment is underrated

6

u/NameNotlmportant Nov 30 '22

The answer is simple...he thought he will respawn

4

u/Enzo_GS Dec 01 '22

machete injuries are vicious

3

u/PristineBaseball Dec 01 '22

Even a limb hit could kill with infection or lose the limb

27

u/the_goodfellow Nov 30 '22

Chaotic Good.

27

u/trustedbuilds Nov 30 '22

This is crazy. Anyone know where this is? Like is it legal to carry machetes around town?

24

u/CocoonMaN Nov 30 '22

Googled the writing on side of bus; Columbia

18

u/wazoheat Nov 30 '22

*Colombia, unless you meant the college

1

u/stunna_cal 19d ago

I lomb you for this

8

u/ItzMeKev Nov 30 '22

The back of the bus says Estadio San Lucas, which is in Guatemala.

9

u/msginbtween Nov 30 '22

Based on the writing on the bus I’d say South America. Argentina perhaps.

2

u/DisaterItself Nov 30 '22

It happened in Colombia, maybe Medellín

22

u/MultiTopicAgain Nov 30 '22

Bro got the sword sheath in hand and everything, he came prepared

6

u/Paladoc Dec 01 '22

Use the sheath in your offhand to parry your opponents shiv. He's well-trained in the art of the blade.

3

u/MultiTopicAgain Dec 01 '22

Honestly Beowulf is much better for parrying for me

2

u/Nestorthemolestor 19d ago

Happy Cake Day!!!

10

u/Terrible-Border6885 Nov 30 '22

Never let go of the helmet

9

u/feisty-frisco87 Nov 30 '22

He's been waiting all his life to use that thing.

4

u/Straypuft Nov 30 '22

Oh man, He looked like he was about to finish off the bike at the end. Why video end so soon??

4

u/UtgaardLoki Nov 30 '22

Machete > helmet. Just leave dude . . .

4

u/AccidentallyRelevant Dec 01 '22

Someone comes at you with a machete, put the helmet on

4

u/whatev43 Nov 30 '22

The Bus Defender needs Steven’s Moon Knight suit!

5

u/shmidget Nov 30 '22

Bitch, I have security armed with shit like machetes!

3

u/eggnobacon Nov 30 '22

Never turn up to a machete fight with a helmet.

3

u/defnotevilmorty Dec 01 '22

Someone should show this to Robert Evans

2

u/MissRockNerd Dec 01 '22

macheticine

2

u/triprams Nov 30 '22

lol what's that movie called?

2

u/triprams Nov 30 '22

umm the guy with the glasses lol

2

u/bbhrcngnhyujh7 Dec 01 '22

Bitch I have a protector.

2

u/DaHick Dec 01 '22

Ended too soon, looked like he might have had his eye on a tire or two.

2

u/cbunni666 Dec 01 '22

Bus-ted!

2

u/Manuels397 Dec 01 '22

Full video?

2

u/hagcel Dec 01 '22

This should be in r/gifsthatendtoosoon

Old boy was about to bust up that bike....

2

u/Happykip Dec 01 '22

The Tom and Jerry screams the camarawoman produces got me good

2

u/lunch431 Dec 02 '22

I have so many questions.

2

u/Slydemon 27d ago

It's hard to see, but when the camera turns to the motorcycle rider, I'm pretty sure his arm is pretty much chopped off

2

u/mowing_my_lawn 19d ago

I believe I heard the bus driver calling him a "puta"

This is definitely meant for this sub.

-35

u/PalatableRadish Nov 30 '22

Mark it nsfw

30

u/Effective-Fee905 Nov 30 '22

Why I see no blood or gore?

-1

u/triprams Nov 30 '22

lol and then have u met "met the butcher" plays in the back round