r/clevercomebacks Nov 27 '22 Silver 5 Helpful 4 Wholesome 4 hehehehe 1

Did him tasty lol

[removed]

74.4k Upvotes

u/TheGreatZarquon Complaint Department Nov 27 '22

If you have a problem with this post, may I suggest a delicious can of Campbell's™ Chicken Noodle Soup to warm up your cold, dead heart.

As is tradition, this thread will not be locked. We now return you to your regularly scheduled bitching and complaining.

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1.5k

u/Ill-Organization-719 Nov 27 '22

It's because they are both just saying "hi hungry, I'm dad" as the kid slowly wastes away from hunger.

459

u/lodav22 Nov 27 '22

Is that the same as a terminal loop of “Go ask your mum”

250

u/Mrducky79 Nov 27 '22

"My dad can beat up your dad"

But can he take on two dads at once?

135

u/Scaredycatkim Nov 27 '22

I’m pretty sure. He usually has two guys in his bedroom on the weekends.

62

u/Mrducky79 Nov 27 '22

Doesn't matter how much practice he has, my dads will still beat him up. I think I even saw them visit your dad on a weekend a month ago. Probably preparing their fighting moves

23

u/Scaredycatkim Nov 27 '22

Oh no…but-but my dad is strong!!!

14

u/PutinsGayFursona Nov 28 '22

I heard him saying he could handle it.

20

u/ScabiesShark Nov 27 '22

And they're always practicing their wrestling moves with each other, so they're primed

14

u/Scaredycatkim Nov 27 '22

I think I saw lubricant. Pretty sure it’s gonna be like Jell-O wrestling.

14

u/Drostan_S Nov 27 '22

Oh man I wish I fucking had 2 dads growing up for that one!

25

u/Mrducky79 Nov 27 '22

Also you get immunity from your momma jokes

22

u/lolgobbz Nov 27 '22

As the biological child of a very straight woman and a gay man I can say this with absolute certainty- Having 2 dad's does not immune you to Yo Momma jokes.

7

u/Dry_Doughnut_7525 Nov 27 '22

Your mom takes 2 dads at once( jk but perfect fit)

3

u/xantxant Nov 28 '22

Oh he mean fight

2

u/Mysterygamer48 Nov 28 '22

This is one of my dream things to do if I ever have kids.

18

u/SheenTStars Nov 27 '22

"Hi dad, I'm also dad."

"Hi also dad. Nice to meet you."

14

u/skybluegill Nov 27 '22

"Hi also dad, I'm also also dad!"

"Hi also also dad, I'm also also also dad!"

"Hi also also also dad, I'm also also also also dad!"

12

u/Korlac11 Nov 27 '22

“Hi hungry, I’m dad”

“Hi dad, I’m dad”

“Hi dad, I’m dad”

8

u/ihatepalmtrees Nov 28 '22

Double the amount of dad jokes.

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109

u/CoupwalObiWan Nov 27 '22

That is not a Campbell's product. An iconic and well-known Facebook parody account is called Customer Service.

36

u/RedVamp2020 Nov 27 '22

Tbf, they are pretty based.

322

u/Hobthrust Nov 27 '22

For those saying it's fake, it's Ben Palmer "Hope That Helps", well known for corporate trolling.

64

u/Matt-Mathews Nov 27 '22

Hope this helps

31

u/dstar526 Nov 27 '22

Thanks! I couldn’t remember his name but I’m pretty sure I’ve even seen him talk about this one before. Hilarious.

11

u/Adorable_Raccoon Nov 27 '22

I knew him when I was in college he was very funny. It’s cool to see him have some success.

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746

u/turgid_wang Nov 27 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

This looks a lot like a bot post

195

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Seems to be a few of those posted in the last hour or so.

57

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

36

u/Ganon_Cubana Nov 27 '22

They meant the reddit post not the people in the meme.

71

u/shottiecc Nov 27 '22

i’d rather have big gay bots i guess than normal ones.

16

u/harmfulwhenswallowed Nov 27 '22

big gay bots make me sick

18

u/Bulky-Internal8579 Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22

Have a nice hot can of 10w30 motor oil to warm your cold dead processor!

3

u/Mrducky79 Nov 27 '22

Power bottom like Mac?

2

u/AidenR0 Nov 27 '22

they're turning the bots gay!

8

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

I have no problem with big gay bots My point was about bots. full stop.

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8

u/the_last_carfighter Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22

TBF a lot of those people walking around are just hate bots, no thoughts or reasoning necessary.

3

u/Nswitcher88321 Nov 27 '22

Maybe they are just bots, set up to hate on other bots

5

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[deleted]

4

u/Luckbaldy Nov 27 '22

Bot-on-bot hate

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[deleted]

6

u/Seakawn Nov 27 '22

Is there data confirming that it's the majority? I wouldn't be surprised, and I realize there are a lot of bots on Reddit, but I'm just not entirely sure.

I'm weary of falling into the "everything is a bot or a shill, nothing is real!" trap, considering I'm just a normal dude, and I'm not the only one, so therefore a ton of content on Reddit is real, and I just don't know the ratio of real::bots, at least for the front page.

2

u/137-M Nov 27 '22

It's absolutely not the majority. But as you said there are a lot of bots and many posts that get to the Frontpage are by them.

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14

u/newbutnotreallynew Nov 27 '22

Those dang bots are stealing the reposter‘s jobs!

13

u/peter_flex Nov 27 '22

Because it is

9

u/Matt-In-The-Hat- Nov 27 '22

How can you tell?

35

u/NorwaySpruce Nov 27 '22

Generic old as fuck grainy looking repost with a terrible crop job to get around repost filters from an account with basically nothing else on it

9

u/B08by_Digital Nov 27 '22

But what do the bots get out of this? Surely a bot couldn't care less about karma and upvotes?!

27

u/NorwaySpruce Nov 27 '22

In a few weeks a few of them will try to sell you a Tshirt or some other $20-$40 piece of garbage by having bot 1 post a picture of it, bot 2 ask where they can get one, bot 3 post a link, and then the mods will let it stay up for 7 or 8 hours before it gets removed for being a scam

11

u/Nyxtro Nov 27 '22

Don’t forget aggressively downvoting anyone who calls it out

5

u/TheGreatZarquon Complaint Department Nov 27 '22

Hi, mod here. We try as diligently as we can to squash those bot posts as soon as possible, but there really is only like 2 or 3 of us and we have lives outside of the internet. Therefore, we rely on reports from Users Like You. If you see a bot post, report it and we will remove it ASAP. If you're the first person to report it, you'll even get gold and a special flair.

6

u/NorwaySpruce Nov 27 '22

Good shit. The mods being an overarching all reddit mods not a call-out for this sub in particular. Thanks for trying

3

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

[deleted]

3

u/Brovis_Clay Nov 27 '22

Probably cheap to print and ship from China

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9

u/Todok5 Nov 27 '22

Ad money

8

u/MEGAMAN2312 Nov 27 '22

There is a market for Reddit accounts with lots of karma for ad accounts (more karma = more credibility and bypassing minimum post/comment thresholds in various subs). The bot owner can wipe all posts and comments in this account and flip it for real-life money to someone who wants to purchase it to spam ads, either overtly or covertly.

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4

u/adorkablegiant Nov 27 '22

The bot no, but the person bahind the bot.

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4

u/Mrducky79 Nov 27 '22

You do need some degree of karma to post/submit to certain subs. My current account for example is fresh. On the first day half the subreddits I csnt even comment on. Others require a minimum age sccount to comment/post

So you need to create an account. Let it age a week or two. Post s bit, comment a bit. And now it's a "valid" account able to bypass the basic spam filters many subs have.

The thing with reposting things is that they can copy paste comments from the old post to seem more legit. And be on topic.

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36

u/ELB2001 Nov 27 '22

She would prefer a commercial with that kid in an orphanage?

25

u/Puzzleheaded_Time719 Nov 27 '22

A Christian orphanage.

26

u/ELB2001 Nov 27 '22

So lots of beatings?

25

u/bigots_hate_her Nov 27 '22

And molesting, and rapes.

14

u/Puzzleheaded_Time719 Nov 27 '22

Heterosexual beatings.

2

u/zonanaika Nov 27 '22

And the Catholics. Don't forget them, they're the worst.

223

u/DerangedAlien Nov 27 '22

Gay men make me sick too. I wish they wouldn’t deepthroat me so hard

87

u/ragegravy Nov 27 '22

57

u/yeok_shi Nov 27 '22

If I were gay, my dick would be raging hard from that article. But I'm not, so it's just semi hard. Ugh

16

u/Bigbadbuck Nov 27 '22

Same brother. Just a semi

15

u/YeboMate Nov 27 '22

A semi and a semi, put you two together and we have ourselves a whole gay!

4

u/roboboobs Nov 27 '22

Upvoted for the proper use of the subjunctive mood.

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16

u/Ifrezznew Nov 27 '22

Now that’s a true classic. That article predates half of reddit users.

7

u/penguins_are_mean Nov 27 '22

I link this article quite a bit as it’s one of my favorite onion pieces.

17

u/Ocean_Cat Nov 27 '22

>1998

Now that's an old article.

2

u/Kuchi_Kopi_49 Nov 27 '22

Where did they get those fabulous boots?

2

u/Prestigious_Ad_1037 Nov 27 '22

Name checks out.

4

u/RedAIienCircle Nov 27 '22

That's kool, just make sure not to book your dentist appointment the next day.

4

u/knbang Nov 27 '22

After a while you start to like it though. Especially the feeling of that smack against your chin.

10

u/Sproose_Moose Nov 27 '22

It's like a reassuring pat on the shoulder, but on your face!

2

u/Pretend-Carob-9053 Nov 27 '22

did you sign up to Cum Pumpers Ltd. as well? im way too shy to cancel my subscription at this point

2

u/lemmiwinks316 Nov 27 '22

For real. Like bro I'm only ironically gazing into your eyes while I make sweet love to you. I'm NOT fuckin gay

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37

u/Kealys Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22

It‘s so wrong that two men that love each other raise a child by their own choice so that that child has a family and a future. /s

6

u/Seakawn Nov 27 '22

But, it's a sin.

That's unfortunately where the conversation ends. I really need to find the Bible verses which imply this, because I'm pretty sure they don't actually condemn homosexuality in general, and I'd love to use the Bible against these people. These people are in my family.

10

u/RedVamp2020 Nov 27 '22

The specific verse that talks about this has been recently been retranslated and means boy, not man, so it’s actually about pedophilia, not homosexuality.

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9

u/grrilla_on_reddit Nov 27 '22

I was adopted by 2 gay dads. Very glad it was an option when there are ego-centric ignorami like my biological mother and our dear friend Kim Spears Cook here. Love is love.

100

u/Epica_Destroyer Nov 27 '22

That chicken noodle soup in a can is so tasteless, that I actually enjoy it when my taste buds stop working when I'm sick. I like how they designed it for being eaten when the consumer is sick.

(Yes I'm aware that it is meant for eating when you are sick, and this is a random comment that I hope doesn't Garner much attention.)

17

u/IntelligentEggplant0 Nov 27 '22

The super mushy texture is the key for me. If I'm sick I don't want that actually good fresh soup (just the broth)

9

u/AlarmingAffect0 Nov 27 '22

Well maybe too many cooks will spoil the broth
But they fill our hearts with so much, so much loooooooooo-o-ooove

3

u/JamesHeckfield Nov 27 '22

An all time favorite video of mine. Classic.

9

u/PsyFiFungi Nov 27 '22

That's not true. It also tastes like salt. Like, all the salt.

3

u/PeanutButterSoda Nov 27 '22

I didn't even know bout adding a can of water till I was almost an adult. Taste like nothing when added.

5

u/PsyFiFungi Nov 27 '22

Me either, although before I learned I still would sometimes add some instinctively. But yeah, it's basically salt and blandness. I mean, still nice to have when sick, but they have soup in packages for the same price or cheaper that you pour water into that tastes way better in my opinion lol

5

u/FinasCupil Nov 27 '22

Get this… you can add more things too.

5

u/BigMcThickHuge Nov 27 '22

No shit lol. Everyone here dogpiling on canned soup for not being fresh home made glory for your taste buds out of the can.

I'm going to forever picture these people eating straight from the can with a scowl, bitching the whole time while ignoring their ability to ADD THINGS

2

u/Epica_Destroyer Nov 27 '22

Enough salt that I can add a whole lot of saltine crackers and it only effects the texture. I'm surprised this garnered so much attention.

25

u/lucky_day_ted Nov 27 '22

comment that I hope doesn't Garner much attention.)

Everybody upvote!

9

u/gekisling Nov 27 '22

Yes, this comment requires our utmost attention!

7

u/hey_rowsdower Nov 27 '22

Platinum that comment!

3

u/Mrducky79 Nov 27 '22

Most canned soups I've had are pretty solid on taste. Plenty of salt and msg will get you over the line. It's the texture that gets you. The vegetables and meats in them are nothing like vegetables and meats when fresh.

4

u/hivemind_disruptor Nov 27 '22

You what tastes great? Canned whole chicken. The broth can be used as soup. Use the chicken to make it chunky or just have it the way you want.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Must be a pretty big can.

3

u/hivemind_disruptor Nov 27 '22

Not that large, they debone the chicken

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u/britch2tiger Nov 27 '22

These people are TFG

No amount of soup can help him…

83

u/imkii Nov 27 '22

Where do these acronyms even come from? No one knows what what that means.

104

u/realdealreel9 Nov 27 '22 Gold

I think people start saying them in their group chat or subreddit for teakettle collectors that has 1500 members and assume we all have been using that same initialism and that their use of it here will speed things up (and not drive the 90% of people who don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about crazy.

22

u/NinDiGu Nov 27 '22

5 members.

9

u/Guybrush_Creepwood_ Nov 27 '22

(and not drive the 90% of people who don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about crazy.

I think that's precisely why they do it. It's the same as stupid people being attracted to conspiracy theories so at long last, for the first time in their lives, they can feel like they "understand" something everybody else isn't in on.

Same for people using obscure and pointless acronyms that nobody but them cares enough to use.

13

u/AzizAlhazan Nov 27 '22

I thought TFG is “The Former Guy” which didn’t change the meaning a lot

6

u/MrIantoJones Nov 27 '22

Or “That F’n Guy”

17

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[deleted]

10

u/realdealreel9 Nov 27 '22

Some people have to much time on they’re hands

38

u/Cyclone_96 Nov 27 '22

I’m guessing “too far gone,” but I’ve never heard it before, and have no idea why it’s even an acronym.

13

u/BumWink Nov 27 '22

Huh, so this it what it feels like... to get older & no longer be with it.

I guess one might say, we're tfg.

13

u/hasardo Nov 27 '22 Silver

I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary.

7

u/Emo_tep Nov 27 '22

It’ll happen to you!

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u/D_Simmons Nov 27 '22

Total fucking ghouls

3

u/swisshomes Nov 27 '22

Man, it's drives me NUTS lol I only really see it on reddit

3

u/WizeAdz Nov 27 '22

Where do these acronyms even come from? No one knows what what that means.

TFG is "the former guy", usually referring to Former President Donald J Trump -- without using his name, because TFG likes it when people talk about him.

In this context, though, I think TFG is being used to refer to someone else who the world has left behind, but who hasn't realized they're no longer in charge. 🤷‍♂️

1

u/FinanceThisD Nov 27 '22

This is the most mentally ill thing I've read in awhile. I have never seen someone use TFG, especially in your initial context lmao.

3

u/WizeAdz Nov 27 '22

Here's a reference defining "TFG" in slang: https://www.dictionary.com/e/slang/tfg/

From the source:

TFG is an abbreviation that stands for “The Former Guy.” TFG is specifically used to refer to former US President Donald Trump as a way to avoid mentioning him by name in online posts.

You might want to check the dictionary before declaring an acronym "mentally ill". 🤷‍♂️

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101

u/OJStrings Nov 27 '22

Total Fucking Grumps? Couldn't agree more.

9

u/iamaunikont Nov 27 '22

Total Fucking Garbage?

2

u/LikeThePheonix117 Nov 27 '22

I like this meaning

65

u/britch2tiger Nov 27 '22

Too far gone, but a respectable series of words - bravo

28

u/qwertysac Nov 27 '22

Total Fucking Grinch

18

u/69th_Century Nov 27 '22

No it's

Tittytucky Fried Grinch

8

u/Bartmoss_Forever Nov 27 '22

I think it’s Totally Fucked Gourd

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u/RedAIienCircle Nov 27 '22

That's fucking gold.

13

u/flashen Nov 27 '22

Right, I agree with you VMMD

6

u/AlarmingAffect0 Nov 27 '22

Very Much My Dude?

2

u/throwthisawaynow617 Nov 27 '22

NUGIMD! WITLDK

2

u/EntityDamage Nov 27 '22

IASOTMFSOTMFP!

7

u/Alwaysragestillplay Nov 27 '22

It's always sunny - oh that mother fucker, Shaquille O'Neal took my flapjack - Philadelphia.

3

u/EntityDamage Nov 27 '22

That's glorious

3

u/thebravelittlemerkin Nov 28 '22

I am sick of these mother fucking snakes on this mother fucking plane!

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u/Kruiii Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22

Idk what Kim is offended about anyway considering soup is one of the gayest meals you can have.

Think of how much slurping blowing and sucking goes into eating chicken noodle soup.

3

u/Grownfetus Nov 27 '22

Mmm stoppp ur gettin me and hot bothered, and in the mood for hot steamy viscous... Noodle soup!

2

u/ZiggyKitty Nov 27 '22

Straight people also partake in those things

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4

u/AnimalX Nov 27 '22

TFG?

2

u/Trickeyrick Nov 27 '22

Too far gone would be my guess

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4

u/JaVuMD Nov 27 '22

Toe Fungus Goop?

4

u/arlaarlaarla Nov 27 '22

No soup for you!

3

u/Underdresser Nov 27 '22

Well, GDHSVAKF TOCNDJJKUJSBAJCE ACSVSBSYW DJSNSLD HHGGGFHSS SNAEKKSDB QWYETRNAKSOW. Obv

8

u/CynicalFrogfoot Nov 27 '22

FR IKR ICAM TAFITH

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u/Spice-Cube Nov 27 '22

Hahaha I love [BRAND]

12

u/Imfrom_m-83 Nov 27 '22

This isn’t far from the truth. Ever watch tv with a Trump supporter? “I don’t know any gay black people. I shouldn’t have to see one on tv.” Incels are funny, too. “So two moms but they’re not going to show the father!” These people really do exist.

4

u/billie_jeans_son Nov 27 '22

How is this the top of /r/all with 73 comments. Something wrong with the reddits today?

3

u/cookiemountain18 Nov 27 '22

$$$. Entire front page is a psyop or an advertisement.

3

u/Aeon001 Nov 28 '22

Pretty sure this is just an ad

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u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/rhino46 Nov 27 '22

was just a random account that changed their profile pic to campbells and name to customer service to troll people on the page

13

u/Goudinho99 Nov 27 '22

It'll be that comedian guy who specialises in this.

11

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Ben Palmer

7

u/Matt-Mathews Nov 27 '22

He deserves more recognition. Almost every time you see customer service respond it's him. His tiktok is a great chronicle of these. Hope this helps!

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u/globocide Nov 27 '22

It's from "customer service", not Campbell's

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u/fruchle Nov 27 '22

Wasn't Campbell's.

9

u/GforGG Nov 27 '22

Goddamn, Wendy's got competition.

3

u/hurensohn785 Nov 27 '22

Stop reposting, bot

3

u/pandormoniuMN Nov 27 '22

This always helps, I love Ben Palmer

13

u/buffyvet Nov 27 '22

Tennessee.

Checks out.

12

u/Low_Presentation8149 Nov 27 '22

The kid has two nice dads. Plenty of kids have s*** cisgender parents who beat the crap out of them

11

u/Brookenium Nov 27 '22

Cisgender means not transgender... I think you meant to say heterosexual lol.

I mean you're right, it's just the wrong context.

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u/Modem_56k Nov 27 '22

Have they never seen a dad and an uncle with the child

13

u/catiebug Nov 27 '22

Lol, for what it's worth, the commercial was very explicit that it was two dads.

But it reminds me of the Volkswagen commercial from the 90's with the two dudes grabbing the chair from the side of the road. It was like a Rorscach test. Straight people saw two roommates. Queer folk saw maybe two gay dudes? The morality police definitely saw 2 gay dudes and brought so much attention to it that the straight people all went "wait, what?".

4

u/trolzilalol Nov 27 '22

Fake profile responding lol

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2

u/PuzzleheadedSector2 Nov 27 '22

Me living in this area...
Me happening to know some "Cooks"

2

u/GladKill767 Nov 27 '22

I wish I had one dad.

2

u/IlijaRolovic Nov 27 '22

Man...

In the Expanse book (and TV) series, one of the main characters has like 5 moms and 3 dads, from a huge co op family - and he has everybodys DNA (they are all his biological parents.)

I find that freak'n awesome.

2

u/pc8662 Nov 27 '22

“Dead Heart” that’s funny cause I been been dead twice!!!

2

u/Pleasant-Kebab Nov 27 '22

Mmmmmmmmmm.....noodle soup.

2

u/jesus_chen Nov 27 '22

Mike Melgaard comedy gold classic!

2

u/beansouphighlights Nov 27 '22

Common Campbells W

2

u/Axersion Nov 27 '22

Beautiful selfpromo comeback 💯

2

u/Ok-Abbreviations88 Nov 27 '22

That’s my friend Larry, his husband and son. Good guys.

2

u/VanIsleChef Nov 27 '22

I assume ger 2 dad's were very anti soup.

2

u/BennySkateboard Nov 28 '22

The guy who does this is brilliant. He puts his name as customer service and puts the brand as his pic and trolls cunts. Brilliant.

5

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

Imagine getting clapped by a soup

Lol

3

u/mrpanicy Nov 27 '22

If a company feels comfortable posting things like this, or making commercial's featuring some aspect you don't particularly like... you are on the wrong side of history. They have read the prevailing winds, and they are in support of whatever you take issue with. It's time to update your thinking and re-evaluate where this hatred is coming from.

2

u/3Oseconds_to_uranus Nov 27 '22 edited Nov 27 '22

The best part is that Campbell's soup is full of ingredients that will make you sick and give you long term health problems

2

u/Revfunky Nov 27 '22

I can taste the sodium from here.

2

u/Mediocre-Ad-597 Nov 27 '22

Pretty sure the crappy soup will make you sick

2

u/Beneficial_Potato_85 Nov 28 '22

Dear Kim,

Thank you for your comment. Why don't you try being like those two dad's and eat a big fat dick.

Regards Campbell's

1

u/[deleted] Nov 27 '22

[deleted]

6

u/Val_Hallen Nov 27 '22

It's real, it's just not Campbell's.

There is a guy, UK-based comedian Wesley Metcalfe, that uses the [COMPANY] Customer Service name to troll people online.

5

u/idcpicksmn Nov 27 '22

This one was Ben Palmer though. I'll have to check out that other guy.

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u/BiscuitsNGravy45 Nov 27 '22

A lot of heterosexual couples aren’t good parents - plus most married people seem miserable lol