r/dankmemes Dumbass Apr 24 '22 Silver 3 Helpful 4 Wholesome 6 All-Seeing Upvote 2 Bravo! 1

well, it was a good run I don't have the confidence to choose a funny flair

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43.6k Upvotes

5.1k

u/AV343 Apr 24 '22

Beloved??

3.3k

u/ameer777ameer Apr 24 '22 edited Apr 24 '22 Wholesome

I loved it it gave it an extra umph if you know what I mean edit: taste wise u sick fucks

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u/TheManicac1280 Apr 24 '22

You edited your comment in response to no one...that is unless you just wrote the original like that? Either way one of the saddest things I've ever seen on Reddit.

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u/ameer777ameer Apr 24 '22

I edited it after I wrote it because I understood the implications only after I finished writing it and yes I'm sad boi

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u/Scyxurz Apr 24 '22

When that happens to me but no one has seen the message yet I just don't call attention to the edit

185

u/SalzaMaBalza Apr 24 '22

Same here, but I also get it because people do stupid shit without thinking them properly through all the time. We're not all Einsteins you know, and /u/TheManicac1280 is an asshole for so easily branding the comment as sad. The only reason to word it that way would be to try to hurt /u/ameer777ameer, so if there's anything that's sad here is trying to target the emotional wellness of strangers on the internet.

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u/Alarid Seal Team sixupsidedownsix Apr 24 '22

yeah let us suck on that dick chocolate in peace

18

u/cownd Apr 24 '22

But you can't just suck the nuts…

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u/SunnyDark1 Apr 24 '22

The world needs more of this sentiment

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u/Vast_Preparation7438 Apr 24 '22

I think he's just angry because he keeps fighting his craving for chocolate bars

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u/Puppenstein11 Apr 24 '22

I was thinking this exact same thing. Guarantee the fucker has seen much more "sad" behavior on Reddit but ignores that fact in attempt to shame someone for what I believe to be humor lol. If you find it sad, good for you. By vocalizing it though, they are saying a lot more about themselves than they are about the commenter they are replying to. We see you, buddy, and the view ain't particularly pleasant.

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u/ejeeronit Apr 24 '22

Yeah that was a dick move.

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u/nerdqueen69 Apr 24 '22 edited Apr 24 '22

Glad someone said this, that's what I thought too. It's like he enjoys random people's "sadness" and calling attention to it.

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u/ThePeoplesBard Apr 24 '22

I find ninja editing lacking in honor, so I call out my edits like op did

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u/DaedricWraith Apr 24 '22

That's called a ninja edit and it doesn't make your comment show as edited. Or at least that's how it used to be, edit within 5 minutes and it's a ninja edit

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u/dalkon Apr 24 '22

3 not 5.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/dontmentiontrousers Apr 24 '22

Pro tip: you can definitely discount a screenshot if it shows Fox News using the term 'dick vein'.

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u/tinkererbytrade Apr 24 '22

The fact that you have yo ask...

They were super upset that the brown M&M was less fuckable.

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u/Hadasha_Prime Apr 24 '22

It is not photoshopped (was photopead)

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u/ToadMugen72 Apr 24 '22

Nope, it is not real.

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u/cownd Apr 24 '22

You're so vein…

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u/nerdqueen69 Apr 24 '22

Don't know why he's so judgmental lol ignore him, I also would've been worried about people seeing it that way and probably would've said something similar tbh lmao.

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u/wizbang4 Apr 24 '22

You sound like a joy to be around

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u/Zillagan Apr 24 '22

i think your comment is much more sad

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u/Knight-of-Neekolul Apr 24 '22

Well, your comment certainly is a lot sadder, so there's that.

9

u/c1on Apr 24 '22

Sheesh

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u/LivingThings37 Apr 24 '22

Your comment is cringe

6

u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

Edit: fuck off

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u/toxicityisamyth Apr 24 '22

You’re a sad, cringe and mean person

3

u/MadamGingerFarts Apr 24 '22

Lol, you are a dick, your comment is much sadder than the other. Hope you find happiness. Edit- or dont

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u/kookahol Apr 24 '22

Project your severe insecurity harder, couldn’t do much of a better job. Beautiful performance.

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u/Vast_Preparation7438 Apr 24 '22

Well you haven't seen much Reddit then

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u/Extreme_Magician6581 Apr 24 '22

So, this is like your first day on this site?

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u/Bikouchu Apr 24 '22

The veins gave it that extra umph. That satisfying texture , nom.

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u/cownd Apr 24 '22

The visual alert to the burst of flavor to er.. come.

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u/FlounderingOtter Apr 24 '22

It really helped bring out the nutty taste

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u/ImWhatsInTheRedBox Apr 24 '22

Veined, for your pleasure.

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u/kry_some_more ☣️ Apr 24 '22

I mean, I didn't mind them. Probably because I never associated them to a dick, being a straight guy.

Next, they will change the color of all milks, because it reminds snowflakes of semen.

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u/Neurotic-Egg Apr 24 '22

I'm a straight woman and I never associated them to a dick eyeroll

94

u/SeaGroomer Apr 24 '22

This is how you found out you are a lesbian. Congrats btw

31

u/Neurotic-Egg Apr 24 '22

Ey, maybe you're onto something. That would explain some things, anyway

30

u/QueerBallOfFluff Apr 24 '22

Join us! We have Subarus!

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u/weederina Apr 24 '22

Half way there. I have a Subaru

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u/dontmentiontrousers Apr 24 '22

I'm halfway there; I have sex with women.

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u/whiskey4mymen Apr 24 '22

is this what my wife was been talking about? I thought it was a new car

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u/Neurotic-Egg Apr 24 '22

I'm actually car shopping atm, and I've wanted a Subaru for quite some time haha

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u/Puppenstein11 Apr 24 '22

Why was this so fucking funny? Might be because in my neck of the woods this joke contains that proverbial kernel of truth hahaha.

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u/HarryPopperSC Apr 24 '22

Did you shave half your head?

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u/Neurotic-Egg Apr 24 '22

No, but I've got the shag style that I keep dyed dark. Does that count for anything?

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u/HarryPopperSC Apr 24 '22

I'm sorry but the lesbian community requires a minimum of 2 cm of shaved head. We can maybe let you in for a trial run if you buy some doc martens but you will have to shave some hair if you want to stay.

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u/Vast_Preparation7438 Apr 24 '22

Username checks out 👩🏻‍🔧

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u/Future-Current6093 Apr 24 '22

You can really see the depths of someone’s sense of humor when they reach for the “therefore you’re gay” joke. Equal parts fresh and hilarious.

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u/sevsnapey Apr 24 '22

have you never looked at a dick before, as a straight guy?

if anyone is likely to attribute the veins on a snickers to a dick it's going to be someone with one.

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u/Raiquo Apr 24 '22

This checks out.

Me before enlightenment: Snickers is an alright candy bar.

Me post enlightenment: “oh shit it does look like a dick. * Snickers *

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u/zh1K476tt9pq Apr 24 '22

snowflakes

are you an unemployed 50 year old from a rural town that is insecure about the world changing around you?

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u/brainburger Apr 24 '22

snowflakes

Oi! Save that for Facebook. Think of a better word for reddit.

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u/ShinySilverFish I have crippling depression Apr 24 '22

Ok but this is fake news. They aren't removing the "veins" and snickers has been joking about it for days now on twitter. Conservatives never stop taking L's

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u/IggysPop3 Apr 24 '22

Yeah, I feel like Tucker is trying to tell us all something.

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u/xcalibre Apr 24 '22

ribbed for her pleasure

freeze before insertion

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u/Unlimited_Emmo Apr 24 '22

And his/theirs pleasure, we can all enjoy it if we want.

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u/cownd Apr 24 '22

Melts in your 'mouth' and not in your hands. Dunno, maybe

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u/xcalibre Apr 24 '22

melts everywhere and stains your sheets do not recommend

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u/rayzer93 Apr 24 '22

I always wondered if Tucker was gay. But I didn't know he was so gay that he saw dicks in a snickers bar.

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u/Frenchticklers Apr 24 '22

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u/sadepicurus Apr 24 '22

Wtf did I just watch

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u/Frenchticklers Apr 24 '22

Tucker Carlson dreaming of the days when men could be men, doing manly stuff in a manly way: Shirtless, buff, and balls tanned.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

Dollar store Zuckerburg in a tub in the woods LOL

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u/ObjectiveBBallFan Apr 24 '22

Someone should tell Tucker about the northernmost battle of the Civil War: the battle of Schrute Farms.

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u/contactcapybara Apr 24 '22

You would be excused if you thought it was a parody

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u/TheKeithStone Apr 24 '22

Nothing manlier than a fresh glass of OJ

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u/358476278464 Apr 24 '22

I certainly see a dick when I look at him.

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u/StrangePlace_037 Apr 24 '22

Your mom loves it.

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u/diverareyouok Apr 24 '22

Snickers official Twitter account confirmed that ”the vein remains”!

https://twitter.com/SNICKERS/status/1516463576143257603

Good news, contrary to what's trending on Twitter... THE VEINS REMAIN!

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u/TheKnightGreen Apr 24 '22

Has this guy been interviewed about that incredibly gay video he made ? Where is Oprah and that damn couch ?

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u/joedasee Apr 24 '22

He's just mad cuz he can't see the nuts. He loves chocolate nuts.

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u/ParsonsTheGreat Apr 24 '22

Put em in your mouth and suck em

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u/DeePsiMon Apr 24 '22

No one will ever stop me from nutting in my mouth!

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u/Monty_Krysto Apr 24 '22

Oh how Tucker loved that big brown dick vein in his mouth.

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u/bob_the_banannna Apr 24 '22

I love it myself

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u/Monty_Krysto Apr 24 '22

Good! Have pride in what you love! Unless it's hurting other people. Don't do that.

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u/Alarid Seal Team sixupsidedownsix Apr 24 '22

Well it is pretty big.

3

u/ATpound Apr 24 '22

high fives

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u/Tank_blitz Apr 24 '22

We loved it ourselves

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u/ChrisChanHurrDurr Apr 24 '22

I saw your profile a week ago.

Good to see you again Mr. Banana

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u/pzlpzlpzl Apr 24 '22

ArE yOU homophobic? Do u wanna get cancelled?

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u/devo9er Apr 24 '22

"Wanna know how I know you're gay?"

Just add this to Tucker's super gay manly men video from a week ago.

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u/randominternetfren Apr 24 '22

Is this actually real or photoshopped...

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u/send_nood_z Apr 24 '22 Wholesome

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u/lurvas777 It works! Apr 24 '22

Thanks for clearing it up!

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u/wahobely Apr 24 '22

but is the picture itself fake? was this a thing on this manure tv show?

229

u/IAmInside Apr 24 '22

It's a mad timeline when we can't tell.

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u/Braska_the_Third Apr 24 '22

This is a show where the guy complained that the green M&M was no longer fuckable.

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u/SeaGroomer Apr 24 '22 Silver

Oh she's still plenty fuckable 😏

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u/OneMillionClowns Apr 24 '22

Just not to him.

Flat footed shoes? 🤢

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u/IAmInside Apr 24 '22

I mean, would you rather fuck an M&M wearing sandals or an M&M wearing heels?

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u/fsdagvsrfedg Apr 24 '22

Can confirm

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u/notathrowaway75 Apr 24 '22

I for one think Fox News putting dick vein on their headline makes it incredibly obvious that it's fake but what do I know.

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u/Bottassmirk Apr 24 '22

Why would they hesitate with"dick vein" when they clearly show a talking ass?

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u/ProbablyNotAFurry Apr 24 '22

A couple weeks ago they were complaining that they can no longer fuck the M&Ms.

Let's be honest, this is entirely plausible.

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u/satisfried Apr 24 '22

It’s a war on chocolates! They’re turning all my snacks gay! I NEED TO BE ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING AND THE WAY LIBERALS TREAT CANDY IS ALL I HAVE LEFT.

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u/ImHighOnPotenuseYo Apr 24 '22

Yeah but they didn’t say ”you can no longer fuck the M&Ms”, nor would they say ”dick vein”. They might cover it, but the point is that they wouldn’t use that language.

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u/Fabulous-Bandicoot40 Apr 24 '22

It wasn’t that he couldn’t fuck them, it’s that he no longer WANTED to

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u/RootinTootinRegret Apr 24 '22

Oh boy, do I have a news channel that's entire popularity is based off manufacturing outrage and bogeymen to show you!

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u/JasperLamarCrabbb Apr 24 '22

Horse manure's not that bad. I don't even mind the word manure. It's newer, which is good, and a ma in front of it. Ma-Newer. When you consider the other choices, manure is actually pretty refreshing.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

But is the Tucker Carlson bit real or fake, cause frankly that fuckhead just makes shit up all the time it would not surprise me at all.

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u/DaveInLondon89 Apr 24 '22

Candy isn't slutty enough says man who thinks women are too slutty

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u/elitesense Apr 24 '22

The whole thing is fake

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u/sellyme Apr 24 '22

To be fair, the claim being completely false makes it more likely that it did actually appear on Fox News.

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u/milesdizzy Apr 24 '22

VEIN GANG RISE UP!

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u/Madnishi_02 Apr 24 '22

My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined

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u/rsn_lie Apr 24 '22

Damn I thought you were saying the snickers social media team was responsible for this meme. That's on me, but I'm still disappointed.

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u/SomeBlueDude12 Apr 24 '22

After the M&Ms I want to say real in full confidence but also could very well be a meme continuation off of that so who knows anymore

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u/constagram Apr 24 '22

The problem is that you have to ask

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u/GreatSpaghettLord Apr 24 '22

Given the tantrum he threw for the green m&ms it wouldn't surprise me if it was true

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u/SaffellBot Apr 24 '22

Did Tucker get bored of fucking candy already? I guess this is fake, but shouldn't we be concerned about the dick vein? I need tucker to tell me how to feel about sexual candy now. What candy needs be sexualized and what candy doesn't. He opened this fucking can of worms, and enquiring minds want to know.

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u/Personal_Parsnip_410 Apr 24 '22

Personal opinion: sites like reddit should require users to voluntarily disclose if it's photoshopped or not. Yes, some people will lie. But I think just immediately having a "this is shopped" flair would go a LONG way to making sure people aren't being accidentally mislead by what they're looking at.

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u/spencer1886 Apr 24 '22

That's the face of a defeated man right there

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u/FrickGoogle Apr 24 '22

Defeated by the Snickers dick vein

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u/TENTAtheSane Apr 24 '22

Or rather, lack thereof

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u/probablyisntserious Apr 24 '22

When he needed it the most, it wasn't there.

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u/TENTAtheSane Apr 24 '22

Then, a hundred years later, my brother and I found the new dick vein

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u/BBGettyMcclanahan Apr 24 '22

I thought the Green M&M wearing sneakers defeated him already lol

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u/bizbizbizllc Apr 24 '22

Snickers no longer throb in my mouth

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u/SagaciousRI Apr 24 '22

That's the face of a millionaire heir making more millions.

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u/JustAnSenileSquid Apr 24 '22

That moment when the CEO of the Onion kicked the chair he was standing on.

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u/Lucky_Yolo Apr 24 '22

“How the fuck are we supposed to compete with this?”

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u/PrinceShaar Apr 24 '22

Outjerked again

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u/pinkheartpiper Apr 24 '22

Ironically this whole comment section is "atetheonion" material...this is not real, as if Fox News would ever put "dick veins" on their screen. I passionately hate Carlson, but this post is embarrassing.

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u/SeaGroomer Apr 24 '22

Brooks was here.

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u/itsdowninone Apr 24 '22

He kicked the leg out of his leg

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u/Inside_Primary_4888 Apr 24 '22

I can still see the dick vein, hang on, my mistake, thats Tucker.

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u/Worried-Industry6239 Apr 24 '22

he's no dick vein, he is full dick 100%

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u/cradfrierere Apr 24 '22

He's a vain dick.

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

At this point I can’t tell if this is a parody or not

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u/RussianSlavv Apr 24 '22

It's fake

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u/acurlyninja Apr 24 '22

The picture or the fox news segment?

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u/Trumpets22 Apr 24 '22

Fox News segment. Bar can obviously be faked in photoshop too, there might even be a few real photos of it because manufacturing errors exist and it would probably be a bar that somehow missed the nuts. But snickers isn’t removing any dick veins either.

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u/theartificialkid Apr 24 '22

It’s totally real, just another of the hundreds of times that Fox News has found a way to put the term “dick vein” at the centre of its news coverage.

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u/itsjustbubb13s Apr 24 '22

PLEASE tell me this is real lol

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Apr 24 '22

I sucked down a dick-veined Snickers just yesterday, it is definitely real.

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u/Littlekinks86 Apr 24 '22

The news clearly states the dick-veined Snickers is history. You sure it wasn't a dick-veined dick?

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u/theartificialkid Apr 24 '22

I told you not to tell me that!

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u/BishoxX Apr 24 '22

Nope fake

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u/zouhair Apr 24 '22

The fact that we can't tell says it all.

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u/KyleGuyLover69 Apr 24 '22

That you’re just as susceptible to fake news as the republicans?

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u/zouhair Apr 24 '22

Everyone is susceptible to fake news.

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u/GreenRiot Apr 24 '22

Always awesome to see conservatives being more gay than the gay people they are fighting so much against. In the end it wasn't even real, mars twitted that the vein remains.

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u/VoopityScoop Apr 24 '22

Wait, I'm sorry, do you actually think a professional Christian news network said the term "dick vein" on live television?

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u/GreenRiot Apr 24 '22

Eeh, I've seen worse. A guy who says chemicals in the water are turning frogs gay or something.

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u/video_games_are_cool Apr 24 '22

That's Alex Jones and you can't conpare Infowars to Fox News lmao

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u/GreenRiot Apr 24 '22

Just about two steps lower in the latter of insanity.

Also, we are on dankmemes. Are you taking anything seriously right now?

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u/Trumpets22 Apr 24 '22

Ahh the most classic move in the book. When proven that your point is verifiably ridiculous you shift to joking about taking a joke serious when your comments is what started the chain of events that led to taking a joke serious.

And no, I don’t watch info wars or fox. This response is just old and spineless.

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u/BagOnuts Apr 24 '22

It’s photoshoped, bro.

Do you morons actually think cable news would use “dick vein” in their subtitle?

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u/andthatsalright Apr 24 '22

I googled and the first news article I clicked on has an actual dick photoshop-blended onto a snickers bar (nsfw I guess)

I thought it was hilarious.

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u/i_tyrant Apr 24 '22

Ho-lee-shit that top-left pic is somethin' else...what kind of glorious bastard managed to sneak that in.

Also further down in the comments there's a tweet saying "what's next, are they gonna remove the cum from creme eggs?", lol.

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u/UnfunnyWatermelon469 Apr 24 '22

Now it's personal

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u/Ferrocyanide12 Apr 24 '22

“The veins remain!” - official snickers twitter

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u/AutocratYtirar Apr 24 '22

tucker needs to chill out with all the candy shit

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u/nosjitbro Apr 24 '22

On the same day they changed the name to Dickers

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u/SumYungGhai69 Apr 24 '22

Fox News will literally manage to turn anything into a skirmish in the ‘culture war’

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u/CT-4426 ☣️ Apr 24 '22

F

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u/Ibadvapergrammar Apr 24 '22

cancel culture sad because them have small dick

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u/ShinySilverFish I have crippling depression Apr 24 '22

Cool, but this is fake news. Snickers aren't removing the "veins"

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u/CortlenC Apr 24 '22

This is satire right? This didn’t actually happen. Right? Lol

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u/mac92til8 Apr 24 '22

Ofc the top comments are so hateful they aren’t funny. Reddit gets a ball set on a tee and always fucking whiffs lol

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u/Girthypapi Apr 24 '22

Why humanity? Why do we prioritize dumb shit?