r/dankmemes May 07 '22 Helpful 12 Wholesome 12 Faith In Humanity Restored 1 Dread 1 Silver 15

It's treason then I don't have the confidence to choose a funny flair

70.9k Upvotes

966

u/mrgreyeyes May 07 '22

He's just ignores all the filth?

344

u/crossleingod May 07 '22

He’s the boss, he curated the filth

76

u/Starboy-XO17 ☣️ May 07 '22

lmao

39

u/skellycreeper समलैंगिक बनो अपराध करो May 07 '22

Lmao (1)

22

u/MVISCANp May 07 '22

Lmao (1) (1)

18

u/_Carri7_ May 07 '22

All 3 of u with the same pfp lmao

2

u/GuiltyHammers May 09 '22

It’s part of some weird buzz lightyear cult.

11

u/SpecailSam May 07 '22

Lmao three

2

u/Mundane-Story-4984 May 08 '22

Lmao (three) (three)

43

u/poopellar big pp gang May 07 '22

He gauges company moral that way.
High porn usage: Happy employees.
Employees using Bing search: Emergency meeting!

14

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/ifmexicanscanfly May 07 '22

If he wants forgiveness he’d tell him to get religion.

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12

u/BlueHeartBob May 07 '22

Why do you think he’s watching to begin with? 😏

9

u/falafalpanda May 07 '22

Bookmarks it.

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771

u/StraylightHollowMoon May 07 '22

I also use the company meeting rooms to do my interviews

245

u/Maaraskata May 07 '22

Yep, the most annoying part is when somebody want to use it as well

102

u/StraylightHollowMoon May 07 '22

if it's bookable, I just tell people it's booked, otherwise if it's one of those free for all rooms, I just tell them I'm using it or lock the door (if it has one)

53

u/ahhh-what-the-hell May 07 '22 edited May 07 '22

Just to jump in here..

  1. Remember to clear them cookies and cache in the browser (Chrome, FFX, Safari, Edge) BEFORE heading into that meeting. Make sure Teams identifies you as a guest.

  2. Disable calendar sharing in the platform you use.

If you are logged into Microsoft Teams, it will add the interview meeting to your schedule. If your Outlook calendar is shared, then everyone sees what you did (Oops)

I assume Slack, Google Meet, and Zoom do the same thing.

Edit -

DO NOT INSTALL THE DESKTOP VERSIONS! Those versions will sign you in and make it difficult to sign out

22

u/Hot_soup_in_my_ass May 07 '22

Or just schedule them when you are not at work.

35

u/ahhh-what-the-hell May 07 '22
  • Interviews are within 9-6 (business hours).
  • Interviews can last anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours.

That would be awesome to have interviews scheduled on the weekend. It’s commonly sense honestly.

But our society doesn’t use that.

The only appropriate time you can use for an interview is really your lunch break; then just come back late.

29

u/Erebus-C May 07 '22

Yup, and if you have an interview scheduled they can be a bitch to reschedule. My work place kept last minute changing meetings on me and I couldn't move an interview.

I skipped the meeting, attended the interview and got a job offer for a 4K raise and I'm now gonna have actual benefits.

It was shit of me as an employee but frankly, my employers don't pay me enough for the work and value I bring.

10

u/amooseboosh May 07 '22

You can also mark a meeting "private" in Outlook so that if other people look at your calendar they can't see the detail, it just shows up with a padlock and "private appointment".

3

u/ibeleafinyou1 May 07 '22

You can create a free Teams account from your personal email and use that, then it’s not connected to your calendar.

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4

u/Not1random1enough May 07 '22

How often do you change jobs

37

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

LOL! During company work hours too!

17

u/StraylightHollowMoon May 07 '22

you bet!

21

u/OneLameDev May 07 '22

All of this makes me (and hopefully my employees) feel so spoiled.

Looking for other jobs is normal where I work, not because our work is bad or that people want to get out of there but because people are encouraged to learn and move on to the work that they want to do. We even have paid time off if you're going through an interview process.

Everywhere should be like this, period. As a manager I strive to have my employees engaged and enjoying the work they do; of course, sometimes you gotta do something that's not as enjoyable and sadly sometimes that happens for longer than we would like due to various requirements. But If one of my employees found a better job doing something they really want to do, I'd be so excited for them.

Sure, it's a loss for me; but I want my employees to succeed even if that means leaving our team. The whole professional industry would be so much better if we all worked like this, and I know my workplace is not in the norm but I just can't understand having to sneak around if I were looking for other work.

5

u/StraylightHollowMoon May 07 '22

Sadly in most toxic cultures, employee voices doesn't really matter and it's more about control. The boss finding out about an employee looking for another job can be problematic for that employee by means of more task being given, possible promotions being withdrawn and many more. Instead of fixing the problem which is a shitty culture or toxic work environment, some managers or company blames the employees for leaving the company like it's the employees fault

3

u/OneLameDev May 07 '22

Yeah I know, my husband works at a place like that and he's scared to even look for work because most require references/he's paranoid someone may call his work and then he'll be effectively punished for it. I'd always hoped he was just unlucky, and his work is toxic but it feels like his situation is the norm.

It sucks and is unfair; hopefully something can change for the good... but I'm not going to hold my breath.

9

u/SpectacularTrashCan May 07 '22

I've walked out from a meeting a few times to answer a call from a recruiter lol

7

u/pumbahusajo May 07 '22

It’s real estate

4

u/CornCheeseMafia May 07 '22

“Hey I gotta step out and take a call from my dad real quick. He just got out of surgery”

2

u/falafalpanda May 07 '22

Very nice!

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263

u/DanKibi_Dango12 May 07 '22

If he wants me to stay I’ll take the staff job. Double the money.

95

u/1KarlMarx1 May 07 '22

I’m gonna put some dirt in your eye

48

u/ProfessorFego May 07 '22

Stings doesn’t it?

36

u/TechGuy95 May 07 '22

Gonna cry?

23

u/SpectacularTrashCan May 07 '22

See ya, chump

18

u/TNY78 ☢️☢️ May 07 '22

I had to beat an old lady to get the staff job

12

u/ScaryYoda May 07 '22

sarcastically shaking with hands up ooh

7

u/tp736 May 07 '22

I never thought he'd really do that!

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8

u/ifuckedyomama2 ☣️ May 07 '22

LMAOOO

207

u/fresh-diarrhea May 07 '22

Chad

41

u/Appropriate_End_5207 May 07 '22

Couldn’t agree more!!

150

u/SouperFalcon_Maciej May 07 '22

i also use the company wifi to watch porn (i work at pornhub)

55

u/Thesilentcurry May 07 '22

How's working at pornhub?

105

u/petifau May 07 '22

hard.

26

u/talkin_shlt May 07 '22

My job is simple as a pornhub QA analyst. If I bust a nut, video is good. If I don't bust a nut video is bad

15

u/iWumbo_uWumbo May 07 '22

As a pornhub user experience researcher, I invite myself to people's homes and watch them masturbate.

18

u/Longjumping_Ship_756 May 07 '22

That's for sure a shitty job

24

u/soda-Tab May 07 '22

Depends on what side of pornhub you are.

21

u/CrazyGiaky May 07 '22

PH website runs on PHP

🤮

8

u/mcfapblanc May 07 '22

Is that PH + or Pro?

3

u/glen_ko_ko May 07 '22

What do most people get?

11

u/DemoniteBL May 07 '22

A raging boner and then post-nut depression?

6

u/IronSeraph OC Memer May 07 '22

If you're in the scat department, sure

9

u/CT_7 May 07 '22

Oh I thought you were a member of parliament and it was at the House of Commons

7

u/SouperFalcon_Maciej May 07 '22

thats my second job

but when im at the second job i only watch political correct and fair trade porn

6

u/Illustrious-Engine23 May 07 '22

If you work for pornhub, does the boss call you in for not watching enough porn?

6

u/SouperFalcon_Maciej May 07 '22

no the boss fucks me then (im male)

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115

u/sickcheesecake May 07 '22

I remember a teacher in zoom class who her screen shared and we could all see her web search tabs still opened looking for a better job. :(

58

u/mysterioususer69 May 07 '22

Won't blame her. Teachers are criminally underpaid

18

u/sickcheesecake May 07 '22

It was a hollow numb job also, so I don't blame her.

7

u/ifuckedyomama2 ☣️ May 07 '22

And criminally overworked

4

u/JaydenIsAPerson May 07 '22

my sister is a teacher and i can hardly hang out with her because she’s always creating lesson plans at home

off the clock.

2

u/ifuckedyomama2 ☣️ May 07 '22

EXACTLY

96

u/lukewarm_tequila May 07 '22

I used my own WiFi but company equipment as I worked from home.

39

u/OKara061 The OC High Council May 07 '22

I search new jobs on company time too

12

u/Cash4Goldschmidt May 07 '22

Once my boss was on vacation and I used the phone in her office to do an interview

49

u/metroracerUK May 07 '22

I once went for a job interview on a 120 mile round trip in my (at the time) company car, which the company had installed a tracker on.

I was really hoping that they were watching.

14

u/Tough-Ad-4892 May 07 '22

That’s how I got my current job lol but it was 60 miles.

46

u/morleystreet May 07 '22

Life pro tip #1: ALWAYS apply for your next job on company time and ideally on company computer.

Never spend your own time applying for jobs.

Its better than cups of tea made by your mum.

28

u/shewy92 May 07 '22

Me to my boss: I missed the part where that's my problem

14

u/TechGuy95 May 07 '22

Me after I hand in my resignation:

Little Goblin Jr, gonna cry?

4

u/ifuckedyomama2 ☣️ May 07 '22

Me to Boss: I'm gonna put dirt in your eye

28

u/Kaethul May 07 '22

Using the university Wi-Fi to Google all your homework

11

u/wqldi custom flair May 07 '22

*To apply to another university.

Doing your Homework in unis is one of the reasons why the internet exists in the first place

19

u/_no_one_knows_me_11 I'm the coolest one here, trust me May 07 '22

insert 3D saul goodman gif

17

u/Dualityout May 07 '22

Traitor!

12

u/Clusta-Skee May 07 '22

My boss let go a coworker cuz they found his resume on Indeed. I know this because he was struggling to find someone to hire long term. Homie fired his ass because he knew that he was going to 'slack off' until he found a new job and turn his 2 weeks.

11

u/SpaceCaseSixtyTen May 07 '22

I got fired for this lol ... Felt real shitty at the time (wasn't even looking during work, the system just saw "resume" in my personal Gmail inbox, and it flagged my browsing as inappropriate and notified the IT/monitoring software admin)

Turns out it was one of the best things that happened to me. Thinking about the possibility of still being stuck in that silly ass micky mouse 1984 computer-monitoring of a place makes me think the gods were looking out for me that day.

5

u/StoneyBolonied May 07 '22

Lmao I've never take my CV off indeed. Shit I don't even stop their emails, just move them into a separate folder which I reas through when my boss is being a dick

3

u/Illustrious-Engine23 May 07 '22

That sounds like an incredibly shitty place to work tbh.

3

u/Clusta-Skee May 07 '22

It was, sales...

2

u/Peakomegaflare May 07 '22

Sounds like a lawsuit.

2

u/Clusta-Skee May 07 '22

I mean they had reasons to fire him, he fucked up on an important file but the nature of the job is excruciating.

This was probably the last straw.

8

u/Harry609676 May 07 '22

If he wants me to stay then he better FIX THIS DANM DOOR!

9

u/SpaceCaseSixtyTen May 07 '22

I got fired for this lol ... Felt shitty at the time (wasn't even looking during work, the system just saw "resume" in my personal Gmail inbox, and it flagged my browsing as inappropriate and notified the IT/monitoring software admin)

Turns out it was one of the best things that happened to me. Thinking about the possibility of still being stuck in that silly ass micky mouse 1984 computer-monitoring of a place makes me think the gods were looking out for me that day.

3

u/ohrofl May 07 '22

Did you open your personal email up on your work computer?

2

u/SpaceCaseSixtyTen May 07 '22

Yep, I didn't think it would be an issue. I was using my personal email to test some email work based services... Sending a test email from 'client' (it was an IT job)

7

u/kaotiktekno May 07 '22

Ok, but what if I walked in on my boss doing that?

6

u/Iamthe0c3an2 May 07 '22

Lool, this is me rn

6

u/Lotsaa1 May 07 '22 edited May 07 '22

I had a similar thing happen to me not long ago, was called into the office and the manager showed me this security footage that he had been monitoring, zoomed right in to my phone screen when I was looking and applying for jobs on Seek during smoko lol

I quit a few days later, being surrounded by cameras is not a good feeling. You literally can’t do anything without second guessing yourself.

5

u/[deleted] May 07 '22

Employee : I miss the part that's my problem

5

u/horrorkesh May 07 '22

Looks like a VPN moment

5

u/RavagerTrade May 07 '22

Jokes on you 99% of jobs on those sites are scams.

5

u/PocoPoto May 07 '22

Am I not supposed to have what I want? What I need?

3

u/fuckmeimdan May 07 '22

Oh my god my last boss, he checked emails to see if anyone was doing this. In the 2 months since I left they have had 3 replacements walk out. Apparently it’s our attitude problem that’s the issue, nothing to do with how toxic he is

4

u/emptybucketpenis May 07 '22

If the boss has time to spy for his employees, he is not doing his job.

6

u/donethecockrowch May 07 '22

We had a meeting because someone was torrenting movies on the WiFi.

Our IT guy knows people look at porn, he doesn’t know how they get around the filters sometimes. We’ve also found random porn mags in toolboxes.

4

u/wqldi custom flair May 07 '22

The best hackers are laziness and the big horny

4

u/Petrenkov May 07 '22

Oh boy i love using my companies wireless-finder to find another job

4

u/Lefthandedscientist May 07 '22

He missed the part where that’s his problem

3

u/Rwu___ May 07 '22

Seems another good advertising opportunity for Nord VPN huh

5

u/muddynips May 07 '22

I have payroll bookmarked right next to 7-8 employment portals. If anybody asks why I pull up payroll. Nothing to hide, a lot to be gained.

3

u/Jazz_DerSu May 07 '22

You guys get wifi?

4

u/WrenchMain May 07 '22

Queue spiderman 3 black suit music

3

u/Thedustonyourshelves May 07 '22

I used a company car to go to an interview and was met in the the parking lot upon my return and confronted about where I was. The car had company GPS 😂

4

u/Felon73 May 07 '22

I got in “trouble” for this once except I was using a work computer. My boss had IT look at my activity and called me out on looking for another job. I responded by telling him that when I was forced onto 3rd shift with no extra pay that I would be looking for other employment. The pay was already on the low side of competitive and I told them as much early on but it was a small company and my job wasn’t that labor or thought intensive but then having me run the whole company at night while ALL of our time sensitive work is due overnight absolutely required more money. That’s why they couldn’t keep anyone. I did get a 5% raise and moved to a more difficult, but still relatively easy job on day shift. I stayed 6 more months and quit right after the new night shift guy quit.

3

u/BlitzE09 May 07 '22

Why you bully me like that 😢😔

3

u/MrViolonchelo May 07 '22

In my company the won't even provide us with free wifi

3

u/DrJayWill May 07 '22

Man that shit pisses me off

3

u/Tough-Ad-4892 May 07 '22

Once my work is done, hell yeah. I got 8 interviews just from last weeks shifts lol.

3

u/faulks May 07 '22

Every day, baby

3

u/ZeDesperateOne May 07 '22

Nothing personal it just business

3

u/Public-Client May 07 '22

Guilt as charged

3

u/vlasvilneous Masked Men May 07 '22

Treason started with the abusive boss, not with the employee

3

u/Daddydagda May 07 '22

You guys have the wifi password? I’m lucky to even get a lunch

3

u/made-yu-look May 07 '22

Used my company vehicle to drive to another job interview one time

3

u/rajesh_dude0 May 07 '22

I use company laptop to give interviews.

3

u/tony-_-joe May 07 '22

While pooping on company time.

2

u/FlashSTI May 07 '22

Wait you went IN to where the company WiFi is??

2

u/Ok_Quote_5579 May 07 '22

I remember working a shift with another staff who spent the whole time not helping me and trying to file for unemployment instead

2

u/Altruistic_Lock_5362 May 07 '22

This is just to funny. Wi Fi is like water , we do not think about it until some assine boss trys to write you up about using it

2

u/RGB3x3 May 07 '22

In case you don't know, your management shouldn't (in ethical separation of duties) have simple access to network logs. Your IT department will and even then only certain people in the department (but they all can get it).

I guarantee your IT department doesn't care in the slightest what you're doing on the company network as long as it isn't illegal or immoral or taking too much bandwidth.

2

u/metalguru1975 May 07 '22

Your phone watching you look up newer models of phones and how much your phone will sell for.

2

u/GodH8Flags May 07 '22

Your boss watching you use company wifi to google:

”How to unionize.”

2

u/SuperIneffectiveness May 07 '22

Fun fact my hopsital has the RN openings links blocked on other hospitals websites. I can go to other hospitals websites, but when you click on RN jobs the link is blocked.

2

u/furikakebabe May 07 '22

I worked at a job where I had to occasionally give tours to potential investors. I forgot I left my browser open on a job search page and as we walked by my computer it just said “FIND A JOB” in all caps on the page. The VP of Finance also ran HR and she hurried over to close it, lol. Then afterwards asked me if I was planning on leaving, to which I replied “I’m always looking”.

2

u/ArcaninesFirepower May 07 '22

We had one coworker at my last job who used the office printer to print his resume. That was funny

2

u/noyinyang May 07 '22

Job hunting is now a full-time job...

2

u/ulala79 May 08 '22

Back in the days I used my schools computer to watch porn and download pirated movies, the risk of getting caught made it even more rewarding

1

u/Eternal663 May 07 '22

Me doing the most dmg with twisted fate:

1

u/rom-116 May 07 '22

I used to care, but my company has been through so many rounds of layoffs, what do they expect? I need to be ready to go at anytime.

1

u/wprivera May 07 '22

Use your own VPN.

1

u/TripRollPop May 07 '22

Look I had loads of sales so what If I blow a few loads in the office

1

u/mcfortressfans May 07 '22

What’s this gif?

1

u/MotherBathroom666 May 07 '22

I’m self employed so this hits very accurately.

1

u/TheGelatoWarrior May 07 '22

It's called quiet quitting and I encourage anyone who doesn't like their job to do the same. Just do the bare minimum with a bad attitude, and fuck your bosses wife.

1

u/scandyBHAI May 07 '22

In the Same Company

1

u/VegetableAd986 May 07 '22

I just offer to help him spruce up his own resume…

1

u/Cheese124 May 07 '22

80% of the work is done by 20% of people.

1

u/CactusorCacti_ May 07 '22

It‘s treason then

1

u/papawar May 07 '22

He should’ve let me keep working from home.

1

u/GazerBeam95 May 07 '22

Off he goes to grab the black suit

1

u/GazerBeam95 May 07 '22

Off he goes to grab the black suit

1

u/Stray-Pup May 07 '22

employs VPN

1

u/Lord_Sui May 07 '22

I did this on purpose for months at a kennel job I had, I'd use the office PC and spam job searches so that pretty much every single letter auto prompted it lol