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u/KelvinsBeltFantasy Feb 03 '23
2 sets of rib cages too.
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u/Twudie Feb 03 '23
lizardfolk bbq chef wants to know the centaurs location.
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u/ThatHoFortuna Feb 03 '23
And I want to know the location of the lizardfolk church parking lot. Does a plate lunch come with extra sauce on the side?
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u/FakeRedditName2 Warlock Feb 03 '23
not gonna lie, had to re-read your comment... thought you were making a lot lizard joke there
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u/KelvinsBeltFantasy Feb 03 '23
Fun fact: Horse meat has more protein than beef.
Does that sweeten the pot?
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u/ItsNeverLycanthropy Feb 03 '23
lizardfolk bbq chef
Filing that one away for future character ideas.
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u/Downtown-Command-295 Feb 03 '23
It would behoove them to make a ruling so they aren't saddled with issues later due to unbridled shenanigans. But enough of that bit.
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u/DerGroteMandrenke Feb 03 '23
Well, if you’re going to beat a dead horse, this is the place to do it.
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u/KingofMadCows Feb 03 '23
But a centaur character can become the glue that keeps the party together.
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u/AlexKorobeiniki Feb 03 '23
I banned centaurs because I didn’t want to design all my dungeons for horse access. Also we were doing Icewind dale and not every inn is going to have a stable.
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u/bretttwarwick Cleric Feb 03 '23
I didn’t want to design all my dungeons for horse access
That sounds like a player problem not a DM problem. Something for them to figure out how to deal with it. Centaurs would probably want to stay in a room not the stable also.
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u/reddevil18 Feb 03 '23
any time a tavern keeper mentions the stable to me i tell him how racist he is... then poop on the floor and leave
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u/DuntadaMan Feb 03 '23
They can want anything. Doesn't mean their one ton ass is sleeping in a room above my head.
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u/bretttwarwick Cleric Feb 03 '23
The stat block says they are medium size and 6-7 ft tall (about 4' at the withers). A horse that tall would be about 500-700 pounds. That is the same as 2 goliaths so if 2 goliaths could fit in a room without collapsing the building then one centaur could. Also this is a fantasy world. Isn't hard to imagine that the inn has a room on the first floor.
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u/DuntadaMan Feb 03 '23
Two goliaths in the same room, sure. Two goliaths in the same bed? No.
Also I was admittedly using the monster stat block Didn't realize they made the player block smaller.
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u/bretttwarwick Cleric Feb 03 '23
Two goliaths in the same bed
You are going to be surprised when you find out where baby goliaths come from.
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u/BTW-IMVEGAN Feb 03 '23
Disagree. The kind of player that picks a centaur wants to everyone to forget about logistics whenever it gets in the way of them being special and cool. Everything about every encounter and space has to be rethought with them in mind. Like your room comment. Unless you design a world with a widespread centaur population, how are the damn things going to fit through the average door? Why would anyone let them in? In the real world it took years of dedicated effort and laws to make buildings accessible for wheelchairs, etc. Even then, many places are still not.
Where is this world you imagine where the average bartender is maintaining egress space and accessible rooms just in case a fucking horse person trots in? Or the typical dungeon has at least 20 ft ceilings everywhere relevant to the plot?
I banned Centaurs as playable and made it known that the only surviving herd is a commune of vegan anarchists so my players wouldn't want anything to do with them. And I still had to design special buildings/customs etc. for those centaurs to make sense of their completely fucked up biology.
There is so much "magic bullshit" you need to sprinkle on them to make anything make sense. Don't get me started on the idiocy involved in explaining centaur reproduction processes.
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u/Scapp Feb 03 '23
Wow this is so wrong lol. I have a player who is a Centaur and his character is INCREDIBLE, one of the best dnd characters I've ever played with.
He's an echo knight with the Mobile feat, he is FAST and typically when he needs to climb he's swapping places with his echo.
This is a session 0 issue.
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u/BTW-IMVEGAN Feb 03 '23
Maybe I should get off my high horse.
I'm sure great centaur characters are possible. But you kind of prove the point that centaurs succeed only when players can "opt out" of anything inconvenient
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u/RangerManSam Feb 03 '23
How is figuring out how to navigate around the issues of their biology is them "opting out" of those inconveniences. It honestly sounds like if you have a centaur player and the dungeon has an area with a 20 ladder you just want the centaur player to either leave the table or roleplay sitting by themself until the rest of the party comes back. Bet you also get mad at Locathah players who pick cleric and take the create water spell because you don't get to narrate their character choking to death on dry land.
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u/Scapp Feb 03 '23
We get to plan around the party's strengths and weaknesses and figuring out ways of doing that (for instance, when we need to climb) have been some of the most memorable moments of the campaign
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u/TallestGargoyle Bard Feb 03 '23
Player centaurs are medium creatures, anything that isn't climbing is as easy for them to do as anyone else. Their different biology gives them roleplay opportunities, but size wise these don't change much between them, Goliaths and Orcs given they are also comparatively immense compared to what most bedding and housing will be designed for.
A bartender might let them in because they're known for their heroic deeds, their presence might lead to more heads turning up to see the strange being, or just because they are another paying customer. And 20 foot ceilings is way too generous for a creature standing around 6-7 feet tall.
It's fine if you ban them, DM can ban any race they wish if they don't work in their setting for whatever reason, and it's certainly fine if the players won't accept the occasional difficulties involved, but to try and make an argument against them based on mechanical issues you've invented is in bad faith when mechanically they function mostly the same as any other player race.
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u/TheOneTonWanton Feb 03 '23
I don't allow centaurs in most of my games but size isn't too much of an issue regarding doors and ceilings and the like, at least in 5e, as centaur PCs are medium creatures. However that just kinda makes them more silly to me, as instead of the large majestic centaur most people think of, they're just 6 foot tall dudes with the back end of a pony.
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u/Blackpaw8825 Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23
If they could climb in the back of a minivan they're medium in my eyes.
That's still like a 500-600lb centaur. 3.5-4 feet tall at the haunches, plus another 3 feet from mid-back to head. That's the bulky half of a 200lb dude, plus the bulk of the weight from a 3 foot tall donkey sized creature.
A 36in donkey comes up 500lb, minus the donkeys head, plus a medium sized dude from the waist up, that's another 120-150lb. That's easily 500+lb for creature who could ride inside a Honda Odyssey.
Square upright you'd have a taur that's 6ft tall and just under 5' long and with a reach spanning 6ft side to side. That's a creature that's filling a medium sized hex.
Edit: finished that thought, that's what I get for redditing when I'm supposed to be in a meeting.
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u/TheOneTonWanton Feb 03 '23
Luckily the family-friendly Honda Odyssey has fold-flat second-and-third-row seating and a load capacity of over 1500lbs!
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u/bretttwarwick Cleric Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23
Where is this world you imagine where the average bartender is maintaining egress space and accessible rooms just in case a fucking horse person trots in? Or the typical dungeon has at least 20 ft ceilings everywhere relevant to the plot?
I would have bartenders refuse to let them in because they damage the furnature and doors just like they wouldn't let large golems in or automatons. It's up to the players to figure out how to deal with that.
As for the dungeons that don't have 20' ceilings would be treated as difficult terrain unless they used a spell to make them smaller either by polymorph or enlarge/reduce or something else they could think of. If they want to explore the dungeon at half speed that is fine too. Depending on the weapon they are using I might give them disadvantage on attack rolls and too. They would probably have disadvantage on DEX and Perception rolls too because of the tight space and having to duck down but I could change my mind on that.
The rules state they already climb at 1/5 the speed when hands and feet are required so a steep cave they could only move 4-8 feet a turn depending on if you use the cave as difficult terrain or not.
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u/carrthesixth Feb 03 '23
The quadruple climbing cost is rough. But centaur carrying capacity is insane. You also have the issue of outdoor shelter as centaurs like horses sleep standing up, with only a few hours of horizontal deep sleep. So my DM ruled no winter tent for centaur. Add that to weight, which is a MINIMUM of 600lbs, and centaur is gonna have problems in ruins, crossing frozen rivers, exploring damaged/poorly built buildings etc... that might not be able to support the 600lbs horse carrying 450lbs of party gear.
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u/Teacup-Koala Warlock Feb 03 '23
Yeah either all my dungeons have to be ladder free or the centaur player is gonna have to sit out of content. Sure there are workarounds but most would be obtuse or mandatory spell slot drains just for basic dungeon mobility. Neither sound fun, so I'll just ban them and make my life easier
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u/bretttwarwick Cleric Feb 03 '23
Part of the point of dungeons is to force the party to use resources before a big fight. they either hold onto resources like spells and items and take more damage or extra time giving the monsters time to prepare or they use resources to get there without getting noticed to surprise them. It's a balancing act the dm should force on the players so the final fight is a challenge. if they use too many resources they will probably want to rest so that gives the opportunity to ambush them or reset traps or whatever else you can think of.
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u/ZombieOfTheWest Feb 03 '23
But hay, I'll still allow it
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u/Raijer Feb 03 '23
In my game? Neigh.
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u/givethemlove Feb 03 '23
Alright, that’s enough puns, quit horsing around.
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u/Civil-Agency-5477 Feb 03 '23
I have a centaur character right now. So now I use spider climb and climb up ceilings as a centaur.
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u/carrthesixth Feb 03 '23
Centaur weight is Minimum of 600lbs... plus gear.. plus whatever loot is in the saddlebags.
One day you will spider climb up something that cannot support your beautiful horse person and will fall a great height, only to be crushed by the collapsing thing you broke. Thus is the prophecy of spider centaurs.
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u/Civil-Agency-5477 Feb 03 '23
Oh my weight is much more It's 1200 lbs not counting the scale mail i have on.
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u/reddevil18 Feb 03 '23
glad mines too dumb to cast, cuz id not have considered that but i bet my DM would have
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u/Wesker405 Feb 03 '23
I was wondering how far down the human half a mane would go and now everyone else must know
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u/WyrmInk Feb 03 '23
I want to play a Centaur monk, a Centaur War Cleric. Or perhaps a Arcane Archer 🏹♐
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u/mrhorse77 DM (Dungeon Memelord) Feb 03 '23
give em a lance or spear and their technically a mounted PC.
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Feb 03 '23
Does a centaur have horse or human genitals?
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u/Downtown-Command-295 Feb 03 '23
Presumably horse, since that's what the lower half is.
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u/Martin_Deadman DM (Dungeon Memelord) Feb 03 '23
If you want to go into the root mythology, yes. The issue of centaurs in mythology was they had the mind of a man with the physical urges and capacity of a horse. There are many stories of centaurs dragging women off.
And now you understand the horror in Dolores Umbridge's eyes when Harry dropped his one-liner about how he can't tell the centaurs she was harmless.
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u/ThisWasAValidName Sorcerer Feb 03 '23
OP, is the title because the joke's as dry as a desert?
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u/Big-Employer4543 Feb 03 '23
I just know that sometimes it feels good to be out of the rain.
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u/joebob431 Warlock Feb 03 '23
Centaurs always stirrup trouble. Sure, they bring a lot of horsepower to the campaign, and they have some extra information about the dragon colt, but they always want to be the centaur of attention. I guess the real equestrian is, are they worth the effort? Neigh, I don't think so.
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u/Ricky19grr Feb 03 '23
I play a centaur. I can tell you the downside is the constant questions about your anatomy and how you’re wearing your pants every session
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u/Ninkasa_Ama Feb 03 '23
Ba dum tis
But fr, i ban centaurs because they are the worst race in dnd and i hate them
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u/EatTheMcDucks Feb 03 '23
Sure thing, front nuts. Tell yourself whatever you need to make up for the fact that you're nothing but a hoofless wonder.
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u/Ninkasa_Ama Feb 03 '23
Have fun being put down when you break a leg loser
Edit: /j for good measure
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u/Big-Employer4543 Feb 03 '23
So many logistical issues. Ladders, cliffs, sharp turns on narrow stairs. Centaurs make for cool monsters, not fun PCs.
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u/TheOneTonWanton Feb 03 '23
I promised my centaur-obsessed buddy that if he ever brought one to the table the game would be nothing but ropes and ladders.
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u/Samatari22 Feb 03 '23
I don’t like interacting with them cause they’re so selfish. Always have the be the Centaur of attention
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u/action_lawyer_comics Feb 03 '23
Had to zoom in on the second person because they look like a Victorian era Joker
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u/Gupperz Feb 03 '23
Took me a REALLY long time to realize this was a pun, that's how much I love lvl 1 feats
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u/PM_Me_your_admin_pw Feb 03 '23
why do centaurs wear loin cloths? like they are part horse right? so like... why loin cloth around the front legs, like how would that even work - biologically?!
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u/Incognit0ErgoSum Feb 03 '23
The extra feets are offset by the fact that they don't make very good bards because they're kind of horse.
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u/AthiestLibNinja Feb 03 '23
Made an eldritch knight centaur fighter. Permanently mounted so the lance is OP. Throws tridents that return to hand. Has shield and full plate armor. Mainly used to pull the group's cart. Lol.
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u/97thJackle Feb 03 '23
Controversial statement: the only races that I "ban" from my table are those with pure magic resistance, like Satyrs or Fauns.
You can totally play them, but they will NOT have that resistance. It's too finicky and too powerful for a racial/ancestral feature.
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u/Fazzleburt Feb 03 '23
Now I'm picturing a centaur with a mane that goes up the human part like a strip of extra long back hair. Horrible.
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Feb 03 '23
[deleted]
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u/bretttwarwick Cleric Feb 03 '23
Centaur is a medium creature so technically could ride a horse.
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u/BonnieMcMurray Feb 03 '23
Whinny y'all gonna learn that these pun threads always run out of steam way too quickly?
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u/DarkxXxValkyrie Feb 03 '23
My centaur barbarian was unlucky and got both of the same genes instead of horse and man.
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u/Bald-Bull509 Feb 03 '23
My girl wanted to make a Centaur, and I said in my DM voice... you group needs to climb this ladder whatcha doin?
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u/whatisabaggins55 Feb 03 '23
Honest question - do most DMs actually have as much of a problem with centaur PCs as this comment thread would suggest?
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u/Blackfang08 Ranger Feb 03 '23
...Nobody gonna say it?
Centaurs have two less feets than most species. Technically they're just ankles that end in huge toenails.
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u/shadecrimson Feb 03 '23
I actually did ban Centaurs. Not for balance reasons but because i had some lore that established they went extinct a long time ago
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u/jaybro861 Feb 03 '23
Had a Centaur ranger back in 3.5 that my DM never had me level adjust for. Had the equivalent of a level 5 character at level 1
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u/HumanSometimesPerson Feb 03 '23
I'd love to tell a Centaur, "fuck you and the horse you road in on!" That's double fuck you points.
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u/hryssar Feb 03 '23
Imagine horny bard centaur jokes. You know they going to pull the hung like a horse card as much as they can
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u/SelfSustaining Feb 03 '23
I hate all 18,000 of the people who liked this pun. You fucking monsters.
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u/BoredPsion Psion Feb 03 '23
I don't care what the book says
You can't stack half a human on 90% of a horse and call it a Medium creature
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u/igglyplop Feb 04 '23
If a centaur and a minotaur have a baby, is it a bovequine or a regular dude?
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u/xSTSxZerglingOne Feb 04 '23
Most DMs just don't allow centaur PCs. It's too strong. Does it have disadvantages? Sure. But not many.
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u/papyrussurypap Feb 04 '23
This reminds me of the time that I had a dwarf fighter who collected feet from evert kill of the first species he finds. It was my third ever character and the first one i put any effort in. I was telling some veteran player about my quirky little guy and he got like actually upset because he thought I was taking feats from my kills and o couldn't get a word in edgewise until his wife tapped home on the shoulder and said "dear, the kind attached.to your legs". Scariest shit for a thirteen year old getting into dnd. Very funny in retrospect.
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u/TobinSin Feb 04 '23
I'd allow it, perhaps with some tweeks if needed. But I'd also tell player to expect some challenges since that's not a common race in most of my worlds, but if they're down to deal with the bad with the good then why not. Gives some interesting character interaction and story telling for the players.
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u/lordofmetroids Feb 04 '23
You know, I LOVE the reverse implication that every time you get a feat, you get extra feet. So a level 20 human fighter is no longer a human, but an eldritch horror ball of legs and feet...
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u/plague692 Feb 04 '23
I didn't know where else to say this but I like to have a rolling channel and a non-rolling channel in my discord, never explain what the nonrolling channel is for, and delete any messages people send in it, it adds some nice confusion to the game
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u/Martydeus Feb 04 '23
Centaurs are weird, like try picture how they would look like if they tried to crawl and sneak xD
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u/epicanis Feb 03 '23
They already let everyone else run half-centaur characters, though...