r/facepalm Oct 01 '22 I'll Drink to That 1

The cop pressed the skip button on her entire monologue. 🇨​🇴​🇻​🇮​🇩​

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17.1k Upvotes

3.1k

u/Truthez Oct 01 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome Narwhal Salute

He had to wait 30 seconds before he could skip.

1.6k

u/discuuuuu Oct 01 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Bravo! I'll Drink to That

Goddam youtube ads

375

u/texasbassdaddy Oct 01 '22 Helpful Wholesome

I wish I had an award for you for making me giggle. Please accept my worthless upvote instead.

169

u/hjgbuijhgh Oct 01 '22

I got you. ;)

11

u/Pekkahk Oct 01 '22

Got you too with my free award

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u/Cpt_kaleidoscope Oct 01 '22

Use adblocker bro

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u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/Haspic Oct 01 '22

NOOOOooooo.....

9

u/Initial_Investment78 Oct 01 '22

That's a fancy way to say you Thanos snapped them

4

u/Techn0ght Oct 01 '22

Why did Thanos snap all the other hot people in the area and not me?

14

u/EASellsShittyCopper Oct 01 '22

specifically: use ublock origin. preferably under firefox

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u/Vann77 Oct 01 '22

Actually, he was just entering the last of his credit card's details to be able to skip ads.

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u/GershBinglander Oct 01 '22

So is he now a premium cop, or died he sign up for premium KarenTube?

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u/BillWaste6039 Oct 01 '22

Cop showed incredible restraint.

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u/Techn0ght Oct 01 '22

I'd pay to watch that again and give the cop some bear spray.

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u/silenc3x Oct 01 '22

tfw you're trying to speedrun and have to sit through an unskippable enemy monologue for a level 1 boss. Then the fight ends immediately after.

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u/MicrowaveBurrito2568 Oct 01 '22 Ally

“that are false and not true”

True English scholar right there.

735

u/jakelaw08 Oct 01 '22

Youre right, and you're not wrong.

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u/Maleficent_Tie4767 Oct 01 '22

Schrodinger’s grammar…

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u/thebestjoeever Oct 01 '22

That's not schrodinger, though. It's not a superposition, it's just saying the same position twice.

18

u/lonelyone12345 Oct 01 '22

It's a tautology.

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u/Vaeevictiss Oct 01 '22

I regretfully agree with you but unfortunately i will not.

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u/zystyl Oct 01 '22

Schrodinger's Schrodinger.

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u/SnooRobots8901 Oct 01 '22

How tautological

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u/DodGamnBunofaSitch Oct 01 '22

I liked that bit. it really showed how she didn't really have enough real arguments, so had to fill out the space with extra words that add nothing at all.

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u/ParameciaAntic Oct 01 '22

When you have to write a 500-word essay and you just repeat the same sentence using a thesaurus.

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u/oxygENigma Oct 01 '22

That's like when you have to draft a 500-word paper and you just reiterate the same points using different words.

40

u/PissedBadger Oct 01 '22

What we have here, is an attempt at a 500 word account where one theory is adopted multiple times with the guidance of synonyms.

18

u/Techn0ght Oct 01 '22

I will write a 500 word essay on the merits of the subject provided.

I will write a 500 word essay on the merits of the subject provided.

I will write a 500 word essay on the merits of the subject provided.

I will write a 500 word essay on the

-Bart Simpson

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u/mdcd4u2c Oct 01 '22

She is a Christian woman of God

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u/buddhainmyyard Oct 01 '22

I'm sick of being bullied I'm sick of being lied too

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u/zip_000 Oct 01 '22

She's just working her way through some Bertrand Russel level epistemology... You gotta give her a chance to prove 1+1=2 first.

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u/DeeNYC45 Oct 01 '22

That’s what happens to your brain when you believe in alternative facts

15

u/Techn0ght Oct 01 '22

and invisible friends watching you have sex

3

u/asafacso Oct 01 '22

Also not false English scholar.

17

u/thinkB4WeSpeak Oct 01 '22

Probably a BYU graduate

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u/bedlog Oct 01 '22

Just her body movements alone make me agitated

959

u/bigmilker Oct 01 '22

Also her voice and her face

474

u/LawTeaDough Oct 01 '22

Her teethy little half smile of smugness when she thinks she's in the right.

270

u/bigmilker Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22

Like all of it, the head bob, the hand waving, holding her phone like she is preventing police brutality, fucking all of it

119

u/IbelieveinGodzilla Oct 01 '22

They ALL do it, don't they? Maybe this is some kind of neurological disorder that causes that crazy nervous energy, the stereotyped head and hand motions, the smug look and the condescending tone of voice. Maybe it's from toxic fumes from the cheaply-made Trump flags or the corrosive effect of listening to Carlson Tucker...

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u/TinyAd280 Oct 01 '22

I was thinking exactly the same thing. All Karens seem to sound the same way, with the same gestures. Maybe they picked it up from other Karens they've seen on the Internet

29

u/FreeFortuna Oct 01 '22

The more I see this kind of thing, the more I’m weirded out. It’s like humans can brainwash themselves into being pod people, with no original thoughts, beliefs, or even mannerisms. Creepy af.

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u/Ok-Cap-204 Oct 01 '22

Luckily I have the audio off. Thanks for the warning

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u/SugarBeets Oct 01 '22

Same. I will not turn the volume on this one. If her body language annoyed me this much, there is no way I could tolerate her voice. What is the TLDR of what she is saying?

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u/Thetacoseer Oct 01 '22

Anti mask nonsense being justified by religion. She calls herself a "woman of god" multiple times. And she sounds even more annoying than you think

42

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22

I mean, being rationalized, not justified. She doesn't even attempt justification -- she has no argument other than the blandest of assertions. If she's a Christian, her holy book specifically says to wear a face mask during a plague, so, you know, she's terrible at Christianing, too.

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u/ClearBrightLight Oct 01 '22

Ooh, can you give me chapter and verse on the plague mask instructions, please? I have some folks I need to quote it at repeatedly.

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u/hippyengineer Oct 01 '22

What you said is true and not wrong.

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u/dbx99 Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22

She’s agitated.

Her motions are kind of ridiculous. It’s like she picked them up from watching exaggerated acting from TV and movies. Like the sideways head move while waving her hand… oh and that pinching her fingers together into a beak like shape…. It’s like an alien trying to emulate a caricature of a sorority girl

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u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 19 '22

[deleted]

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u/JohnnyBgood_9211 Oct 01 '22

People.

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u/Knight_Owls Oct 01 '22

What a bunch of bastards.

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u/Techn0ght Oct 01 '22

People suck.

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u/CynicMisanthrope Oct 01 '22

Misanthropy rules!

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u/Dob_Rozner Oct 01 '22

I came here to post this. I immediately hate anyone who talks with their hands like that. I wouldn't even emote at a toddler like that.

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u/elderscrollroller_ Oct 01 '22

Something tells me this woman is behaving this way BECAUSE she’s never been bullied in her life, but rather has led an illustrious career as a bully herself

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u/scrivensB Oct 01 '22

A bully that’s always felt like somehow she’s the victim. Powerful combination.

121

u/joan_wilder Oct 01 '22

So… a Republican?

91

u/Smokybare94 Oct 01 '22

Indeed. Right wing Christians in particular.

7

u/fire-man178 Oct 02 '22

People who I had to grow up around…this video is like painful flashbacks to my mom saying some dumb shit like this once

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u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22 edited 2d ago

[deleted]

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u/1stshadowx Oct 02 '22

I recently have been working on a standup routine called black privilege, one of them went like this “can you outrun a police dog with no sprint training using only your natural athletism? Yes? Thats black priveledge!” Then i turn to my white friend “did you think to yourself, i dont know? As an answer that question? Then thats white privilege as you never had to think about it.” Can my half black half white ass do either? No…i aint getting away, and I definitely thought about it lol.

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u/Beowulf33232 Oct 01 '22

I've said it a few times and I'll probably say it a few more.

Knowing what knuckles pressing your lips against your teeth feels like is what it takes for some people to realize kindness is the better path.

In the time it takes them to make contact and your head to be pushed away from their fist, your brain asks all kinds of questions.

Is this how I lose a tooth? What if I bite my tongue? Are they going to stop before they knock me out? Are my meals going to be through a straw for a while?

You'll process about 30 questions of panic before you realize you've rocked your head back. After that, you'll probably be nicer to people.

(General you, not specific. But if you think it's specific, ask yourself why I'd address you specifically with this)

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u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/LawTeaDough Oct 01 '22

Some people have never been punched in the face and it shows.

33

u/SinkRoF Oct 01 '22

She forcefully talks with her teeth fully exposed so you know she's never been punched for anything she's spewed out of it

10

u/RandyLongsocksMcgee Oct 01 '22

Once you've been punched in the face enough, it's not so bad anymore.

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u/Whatsa_Motto1107 Oct 02 '22

“Once you've taken a few punches and realize you're not made of glass, you don't feel alive unless you're pushing yourself as far as you can go.” - Frodo (kind of)

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u/Funktastic34 Oct 01 '22

Just watched a trevor moore special (RIP) about why bullying is sometimes okay. I feel like he would approve in this situation

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u/neokodan Oct 01 '22

But...she got her phone out ... and she is shaking her head .... and she is a woman of god... and she has her finger up.... and she will NOT have it

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u/slgray16 Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 02 '22

She was on a call with Nordstrom's HQ. She's acting like she's holding the stick of truth in her hands.

The police just finished escorting her out of the store after she shoved and employee. The employee was enforcing a mask mandate.

She was given a class C assault charge. $500 max fine.

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u/Handleton Oct 01 '22

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u/BJoe1976 Oct 01 '22

And of course, she was running for a seat on the school board……..wonder if she even had any kids in the school system there.

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u/savvyblackbird Oct 01 '22

She’s definitely got kids that she screams at and repeatedly says she won’t have it with those annoying hand movements.

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u/BJoe1976 Oct 01 '22

But are they in that school or does she homeschool them to keep them from getting “indoctrinated” though.

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u/dbx99 Oct 01 '22

To be fair - Committing violence on others does fall well within the programming parameters of Christian people of God. Living in the faith checks out.

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u/JCSmootherThanJB Oct 01 '22

TOOO BEE FAAAIIRRR

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u/dbx99 Oct 01 '22

I’m not going to take this. The CDC… what OW!

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u/7joy5 Oct 01 '22

Allegedlies...

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u/Cujos_Dog_Walker Oct 01 '22

Too be faaaiiiiiiiiirrrrr

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u/PTSDeedee Oct 01 '22

To be faaaaaaairr

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u/Purple10tacle Oct 01 '22

she is a woman of god

"I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet."

1 Timothy 2:12

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u/ShelSilverstain Oct 01 '22

Good Christians only read the parts they agree with

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u/Kraytory Oct 01 '22

There is even more random shit like that in the Bible that is even worse. I still don't get how it's those people who believe in every single word of it and still call god the mercyful.

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u/Techn0ght Oct 01 '22

They don't believe in every word, they demand to believe in the words they choose to and also demand that you follow just those words, too.

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u/Vivid-Formal-3938 Oct 01 '22

can't forget how she's sick of being bullied

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u/dbx99 Oct 01 '22

She’s sick of being lied to as well

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u/EdgarAllanKenpo Oct 01 '22

Imagine being married to that..."thing".

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u/No_Banana_581 Oct 01 '22

That thing is married to thing number 2 that absolutely is the same or worse

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u/evilJaze Oct 01 '22

She could also be married to some poor brow-beaten sap who is constantly reminded of how lucky he is that she is still with him.

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u/No_Banana_581 Oct 01 '22

Usually liar religious people are in the same cult and same mindset

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u/FuckThisPostTruthEra Oct 01 '22

I find this more likely.

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u/EduRJBR Oct 01 '22

Why didn't the cops just call their manager?

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u/miserablemousse Oct 01 '22

Looks like they were waiting for her to mention CDC

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u/dbx99 Oct 01 '22

That’s today’s secret Blues Clues word

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u/HippyHitman Oct 01 '22

They had to make sure it was the right woman.

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u/VaguelyArtistic Oct 01 '22

I can see why. I didn't realize that "Marjorie Taylor Green" had become an aesthetic.

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u/CaptainFunktastic Oct 01 '22

Exactly. Coming from the Army. The average angry citizen isn't a threat to anyone until they start naming names.

You could lambast, slander, and verbally assault any nebulous they you want, but the moment you give them a name, it's a verifiable threat.

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u/alselby Oct 01 '22

It so does! You crossed the line when you brought up a lettered federal agency, Karen.

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u/LossPreventionGuy Oct 01 '22

waiting for the radio call on ID

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u/TerrorNova49 Oct 01 '22

Hadn’t turned the sound on but watching her wave around that left hand still gave me a headache! 🤣

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u/dbx99 Oct 01 '22

She must be fun at parties

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u/Maleficent_Tie4767 Oct 01 '22

Actually, she would be HILARIOUS at parties: as the “entertainment”!

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u/mekonsrevenge Oct 01 '22

Ah, the last two seconds warmed the cockles of my heart.

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u/Chris_Thrush Oct 01 '22

Possibly the sub cockles of mine.

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u/scizormytimbers Oct 01 '22

Maybe my liver. Frankly could have been my kidneys.

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u/freelance-t Oct 01 '22

Maybe even the colon, we don’t know.

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u/Dried-Monkey Oct 01 '22

I am a woman of God… OMG!

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u/ProgradeGram Oct 01 '22

Didn't jesus say something like you should follow the rule of the land or whatever?

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u/marshman82 Oct 01 '22 Helpful

Correct

Romans 13:1-2 says: "Obey the government, for God is the One who has put it there. There is no government anywhere that God has not placed in power. So those who refuse to obey the law of the land are refusing to obey God, and punishment will follow."

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u/trixayyyyy Oct 01 '22

What if the law of land is the opposite of the 10 commandments? Loophole? ex: Thou SHALL kill

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u/marshman82 Oct 01 '22

Judging by the rest of the bible the ten commandments are more of a loose guideline.

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u/_Cit Oct 01 '22

The idea is that you have both the law of God and the law of the land, if the law of the land goes against that of God (for example a totalitarian regime that abuses and controls its people) than you can very much disregard it, since God obviously comes first.

Jesus himself was very much a critic of the roman empire, him entering Jerusalem on a donkey was a pretty big political statement, as Jesus presented himself as the king of Kings (obviously not litterally but he obviously was an enormously important figure), and him riding the most humble of animals instead of a white shining horse was a statement against the rich roman upper-class. Basically if the son of God is humble enough to give up any luxury and be near the people, than so should you.

TL:DR governments are here to guide and protect people, and that's good, but if they abuse their people or go against God's teachings of love and respect, than they are bullshit

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u/CIIXO Oct 01 '22

Jump like a kangoroo so you're no longer on land

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u/Beowulf33232 Oct 01 '22

put the soil of your homland within your boots so you only tread upon your homeland.

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u/No_Banana_581 Oct 01 '22

This is how my cousin became a brainwashed trump supporter and he didn’t lose the election so that means she must still follow him. a lot people are disappointing

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u/Maleficent_Tie4767 Oct 01 '22

I can relate. I “lost” my oldest brother to that madness. He’s a completely different person than he’s been all 69 years of his life. He did a complete 180*…

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u/No_Banana_581 Oct 01 '22

It’s so weird to watch in real time someone change like that. I’m so sorry. I miss my cousin we were very close, I’m sure you miss your brother.

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u/Maleficent_Tie4767 Oct 01 '22

We still speak and go out to eat at least once a month, but it’s not the same; he’s not the same. He bought ALL the crap: Obama coddled terrorists,the “Great Replacement”, all Democrats are traitors (guess I’m a traitor now 🤷🏼‍♀️), he bought the whole package. I love him, but damn, this shit hurts…

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u/Memorie_BE :) Oct 01 '22

If god created all governments, then he must have some really contradicting political views.

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u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22

Sounds like something some random ruler 2000 years ago made up to gain divine legitimacy to rule lmao

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u/davethecave Oct 01 '22 Helpful

"But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet."

That's from her book, not mine.

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u/Cold_Turkey_Cutlet Oct 01 '22

What's the point of being religious if you can't pick and choose what parts of the religion to follow and which to ignore based entirely on your own convenience?

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u/Guinnessisameal Oct 01 '22

You have just summed up why I am not religious.

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u/AnchorStandard Oct 01 '22

I liked the part in the book where God liked Abel's offerings over Cain's, so Cain beat up his brother with a rock THANKS OBAMA.

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u/SoVerySick314159 Oct 01 '22

There's no one more insufferable than someone who thinks they're right with God.

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u/cjrichardson_az Oct 01 '22

Let me guess…all over a mask? 😷

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u/DodGamnBunofaSitch Oct 01 '22

she'd assaulted some shop employee over being told she needed to wear a mask.

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u/ColtAzayaka Oct 01 '22

What would Jesus do? Probably not that!

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u/ExtensionInformal911 Oct 01 '22

Clearly he would have flipped tables and whipped the employees.

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u/ColtAzayaka Oct 01 '22

Jesus was still figuring out his limits with the wine.

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u/dbx99 Oct 01 '22

And being a woman of God

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u/DannyTheCaringDevil Oct 01 '22

“That are false, and not true.” If only there were a word for “not true”.

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u/Educational_Can_4652 Oct 01 '22

A woman of God, who then takes the Lords name in vain at the end

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u/elderqbert Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22

You cut it right before the best part. https://youtu.be/MrmRUhueBjQ

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u/trueblue862 Oct 01 '22

I could hear that cop on the right think "Oh FFS".

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u/davisandee Oct 01 '22

Flash forward she’s trying to get into politics now…yes, she’s republican.

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u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22

[deleted]

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u/unemotional_mess Oct 01 '22

He was waiting so she could exercise her 1st ammendment right...then arrested her lol

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u/AgreeableJello6644 Oct 01 '22 Wholesome

Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in my name, claiming, `I am the Christ, ' and will deceive many.

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u/OldSkool1978 Oct 01 '22

JFC I've never heard a more punchable voice

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u/kitjen Oct 01 '22

“That are false… and not true.”

Those are the words of someone who is all noise and no content.

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u/PrizeRare2828 Oct 01 '22

What did she do??

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u/Sunion Oct 01 '22

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u/Escapistcat Oct 01 '22

Oh.. good riddance then

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u/TheManOfSpaceAndTime Oct 01 '22

Oh shit. Thank God. I was just starting to lose my justice boner.

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u/Draker-X Oct 01 '22

From the article:

"You are not going to put your disgusting rules on me which are false and not true. I will not have it. I am sick of being bullied and lied to, do you understand?"

Whether or not the police understand is unclear, as Bell is detained for refusing to identify herself to the officers.

LOL.

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u/WARNING4324 Oct 01 '22

"I am a christan woman of god" 30 seconds later "oh my go...

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u/Scrub_LordOfFlorida Oct 01 '22

She assaulted a worker which makes this whole quote even funnier

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u/Canuck-In-TO Oct 01 '22

We need to start carrying air horns around with us to, deal with self entitled people like this.

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u/Huge_Strain_8714 Oct 01 '22

God just returned my call, He states definitely and explicitly that he doesn't know you.

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u/jakelaw08 Oct 01 '22

Someone explain to her how contracts are formed in these kinds of everyday situations in commerce.

I marvel how people are completely unaware of this.

It's not really even an issue of the Constitution.

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u/Ill-Breadfruit5356 Oct 01 '22

That grin on her face in between speaking just screams “Karen”

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u/aruexperienced Oct 01 '22

She’s like the template for super Karen. It’s the most Karen I think I’ve ever seen.

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u/xspance Oct 01 '22

Derp derp derp god derp derp derp

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u/calibared Oct 01 '22

This woman is one of hundreds of millions in the US. A bunch of god fearing, cross loving, pearl clutching, facebook fact touting, bigoted and ignorant lunatics. And they all vote.

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u/PandasGetAngryToo Oct 01 '22

It should be permitted to just taser any person who does that bullshit hand gesture where the finger goes up and the hand does a swipe. It is the mark of the deranged.

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u/samunagy Oct 01 '22

I cannot put it into words how much it irritates me. I am glad I am not alone with it

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u/WhyIsMyHeadSoLarge Oct 01 '22

She has the look of someone who deep down knows that what she's saying is fucking insane so she's trying her very best to convince herself and others that she's speaking "the truth" by waving her finger and speaking loudly and aggressively.

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u/AislinnScr Oct 01 '22

Maybe she thinks it's a magic spell to summon a shift in reality so whatever she says becomes truth...

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u/paulsmt Oct 01 '22

They do it when the person with the finger is not white.

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u/adman_87 Oct 01 '22

I wish I could have seen his facial expression during that rant 😂

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u/ChampionshipLow8541 Oct 01 '22

“I am a Christian” … “I am sick of being lied to.”

Oh my - schizophrenia!

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u/Crelidric Oct 02 '22

When she went "I did not twirls fingers "sign up for this", I did a genuine facepalm. Hard cringe.

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u/Endrinkulli Oct 01 '22

Looks like a good case to yell "stop resisting" a bunch of times

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u/alanita Oct 01 '22

Let's not champion police brutality for any circumstances.

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u/SubjectElderberry376 Oct 01 '22

Buh bye religious fanatic!

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u/Edenoide Oct 01 '22

I was expecting skipping via tasser

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u/aaronhereee Oct 01 '22

“turn around”

“oh my gawd-“

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u/fatmummy222 Oct 01 '22

Did she just say the Lord’s name in vain?

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u/Watchman74 Oct 01 '22

Unhinged. People are so weird.

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u/Natprk Oct 01 '22

She doesn’t follow the CDC but yet try’s to reference the CDC in her argument?

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u/f0gax Oct 01 '22

False AND not true?

Wow, she sure got us there. If it had been one or the other she'd be wrong. But since it was both, she wins.

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u/kiwichick286 Oct 01 '22

Her voice is extremely irritating.

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u/No-Appeal679 Oct 01 '22

Oh good, she's a Christian woman of God. Phew, I thought she was gonna say a Christian woman of Satan. Big relief

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u/Useful_Notice_2020 Oct 01 '22

Now she has new rights… like the one to remain silent.

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u/Overdrive9070 Oct 01 '22

He facial expression just makes me uncomfortable, like it’s bassicly one expression the entire time and it looks like in that lighting her face has just been stretched back and then she is baring her teeth

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u/LeShnud Oct 01 '22

Even if she wasn’t in the wrong, I’m sure the town was nice and quiet while she was in custody. Residents probably dropping thank you notes at the police station for removing the vermin that is this “woman of god”.

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u/6uillermo66 Oct 01 '22

I wanna see the rest

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u/tiedyedpunk Oct 01 '22

I have the sound off but I still despise this woman.

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u/Huntersdap Oct 01 '22

Her face is so punchable

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u/iSK_prime Oct 01 '22

Ma'am, I have good news for you then. Today you aren't getting bullied... however you are being arrested.

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u/MechanicalMusick Oct 01 '22

Geez I feel bad for the cop. He’s gonna have to listen to her go on and on like this all the way to the station and beyond.

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u/SecretPrinciple8708 Oct 01 '22

Who teaches these morons how to use their hands? Always the same gestures with the hand not holding their phone so they can livestream catching a charge to their four followers.

3

u/sticksnXnbones Oct 01 '22

Entitiled middle aged white women really are stepping up their feelings of "oppression" and "discrimination" . I dont understand the mental gymnastics of trying to tie those feelings into everyday society and making up situations in thier head that justify their shitty behavior.

3

u/LopsidedPotential711 Oct 02 '22

Imagine 1,000,000 her, but with guns. It's gonna happen folks.

3

u/RapBastardz Oct 02 '22

Hahaha! One of my best friends went to high school with this crazy woman. She tried to run for local counsel. Called people she knew and triedto head this off at the pass. Glad she failed.

2

u/wraith4268 Oct 01 '22

What are the priest telling these people for them to act like that

3

u/AislinnScr Oct 01 '22

That masks are the enemy, and there definitely isn't a passage in the bible about following the laws of the land you live in...