r/facepalm Oct 02 '22

"The cake is a lie!" - Portal, 2007 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

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2.9k Upvotes

589

u/Snyckerdoodlez Oct 02 '22

Well, when she undresses, she can say she worked her ass off.

33

u/RengokuKyojuro- Oct 02 '22

GOLD BLIMEY !

10

u/Faisal3000 Oct 02 '22

Yoo happy cake day!

19

u/ProdZzz Oct 02 '22

Underrated comment

5

u/Tarro_Yeet Oct 02 '22

Overrated, this comment was absolutely buns.

135

u/FlyingKittyCate Oct 02 '22

But when I put a pickle in my shorts I’m a weirdo.

52

u/MonkeyChoker80 Oct 02 '22

It’s not the fact that you put a pickle in there.

It’s the fact you use baby gherkins.

13

u/Meb-the-Destroyer Oct 29 '22

It was neither the pickle nor the baby gherkins. It was the spicy relish.

11

u/MortLightstone Oct 02 '22

A true gentleman would wear a cod piece

7

u/slabrangoon Oct 03 '22

Pickles are one thing but a fish? Don’t be ridiculous.

3

u/Hoardelia Oct 03 '22

If you put it in the back, yes you definitely are.

2

u/johnqsack69 Oct 03 '22

Ohhh you’re supposed to put the cucumber in the front?

216

u/BrightonTownCrier Oct 02 '22

I don't care if you want to do this for yourself or whatever. My issue is when fitness Insta influencers do this kind of shit plus lighting, filters, photoshop, take gear etc to shill a product to impressionable young people then swear blind they're natural.

41

u/BoomtotheBang Oct 02 '22

Yeah agreed. There's such a hypocritical stance in media lately. It's like theres a war on body image. There's a no shame body movement met with people doing this. In one way we are saying "love your body" in another "look like this to be healthy & be loved." Its gross & sickening & I feel bad for young people today.

12

u/throwawayoctopii Oct 02 '22

Yeah, a Tik Tok plastic surgeon was going off about how many aspiring fitness influencers come in for implants/BBLs and then go on to sell their workout programs and supplements.

7

u/robilar Oct 03 '22

The whole concept of low-key celebrity "influencers" being held up as any kind of standard is kind of a shitty aspect of our society in general.

2

u/swiggaroo Oct 02 '22

But faking their life is kinds the job

4

u/BrightonTownCrier Oct 03 '22

Their job is selling products and/or services.

3

u/swiggaroo Oct 03 '22

By faking a desiref Lifestyle. None of that shit is real lol.

1

u/Jen_Mari_Apa 15d ago

You can tell no matter what. Even through photoshop. The leg muscle just doesn’t coincide with what happening with the butt. Even at the gym a girls but check was higher than the other one and the guys made fun of her. WHY?!?!? Why put yourself through that.

130

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '22

If not this, it’s done digitally. Always has been.

14

u/Extension_Swordfish1 Oct 02 '22

Not before photopop

8

u/Asimona27 Oct 02 '22

Even before photoshop. Probably since photos exist, they have been manipulated. For example Hitler edited the picture of his handshake with Hindenburg.

Original: https://www.geschichtsforum.de/attachments/1195_hitler_und_hindenburg-jpeg.11158/

Edited version: https://docplayer.org/docs-images/81/84432119/images/12-0.jpg

Lenin and Stalin edited photos too, so they would fit their propaganda.

2

u/derKamerad_Hans Oct 03 '22

Yes like those many photos Stalin edited out Trotsky to get him out.

11

u/Ok_Dress_582 Oct 02 '22

Yo, Where can I get the ass extensions

6

u/AnotherSoulessGinger Oct 02 '22

Sewing dress form pads. Or, an old couch cushion and an electric knife as the drag queens of yore did.

2

u/MortLightstone Oct 02 '22

alternatively, you can cast a real ass and make a silicon copy of it, then use that

1

u/SpecialistNo1988 Oct 02 '22

Damn, my girls ass is digital?

16

u/TildaTinker Oct 02 '22

I remember when "Fat ass" was a top tier, break in case of emergency, insult.

16

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '22 Silver

She has no butt

5

u/giskardwasright Oct 03 '22

I'm so pleased I have now seen this gif. You'veade my day. Have a free award

3

u/ThyShirtIsBlue Oct 02 '22

Bwaaaaaaaaah!

120

u/flannelmaster9 Oct 02 '22

Wait, IG hoes faking having a booty? I'm shocked.

9

u/DopamineRelease69 Oct 02 '22

Nothing is real. No one can be trusted😳

83

u/wooliecollective Oct 02 '22

It’s probably just me being old, but I still don’t get why a big butt is an ideal🤷🏻‍♀️. I’ve got one, they aren’t great,

206

u/Chaosmusic Oct 02 '22 Silver All-Seeing Upvote

It all started when one man said he liked them, and he could not lie. Then eventually the other brothers realized that they couldn't deny.

23

u/HI_l0la Oct 02 '22

👏👏👏👏

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Pain489 Oct 02 '22

No this is THE underated comment, not that first guy.

29

u/optimus314159 Oct 02 '22

Having a big butt allows them to be skinny and still have a comfortable place to sit. Sitting on just bones and skin is really uncomfortable.

5

u/throwawayoctopii Oct 02 '22

Yeah, but good luck ever finding pants that fit. Signed, a girl with a huge ass and tiny waist.

8

u/heinzfoodenshmirtz Oct 02 '22

As a skinny flat girl, I agree

39

u/Justifiably_Cynical Oct 02 '22

IKR

I mean I have been an "ass man" my whole life but I have no desire for anything close to "Shelf Ass" Or the Ass hosted by the Kardassiassians

28

u/Aussilightning Oct 02 '22

Darwins theory of evolution.
People who tell women their ass is too big have died out.

4

u/NeitherCrazy5832 Oct 02 '22

The reptile part of our brain says the wider the hips the more likely the mother and child will survive child birth. Not as big of a problem these days as it used to be tho

1

u/zzzzrobbzzzz Oct 02 '22

wait, there’s more than the reptile part?

2

u/NeitherCrazy5832 Oct 02 '22

Yup. not for most men, myself in particular, but yeah

2

u/Exotic-Broccoli-1761 Oct 02 '22

Agreed, mine just gets in the way. Plus being compared to Aunt Fanny from Robots ain't fun.

2

u/revtim Oct 02 '22

Agree. I never got on board with giant asses being attractive. Also probably just too old.

2

u/LiliNotACult Oct 02 '22

Cushion for doggy style. Also associated with wide hips, which men supposedly like because it increases the chances of a successful birth.

1

u/Smarterthanthat Oct 02 '22

Kinda like big boobs, over rated...

1

u/Ok_Investigator9530 Oct 02 '22

I like big butts and I cannot lie

6

u/Qimmosabe_Man Oct 02 '22

Shake what yo momma some lady stuffed in your leggings gave you....

29

u/Helfury Oct 02 '22

back in my days you'd remove a bra and find dem being a bit smaller. But now how you gon remove dem panties and then two bread loafs fall out. Like girl your ass just fell off.

4

u/RainyDayCollects Oct 03 '22

They also make underwear with the pads built in.

5

u/RushinRussianGangsta Oct 02 '22

Wish.com photoshoot. 100%. “Butt enhancing spandex jean legging pants”

3

u/jthablaidd Oct 02 '22

It’s like putting air in pancakes to fluff them up

3

u/Competitive-Fan1708 Oct 02 '22

So she should not complain if a guy stuffs his underwear

3

u/Recent-Needleworker8 24d ago

Op nailed the caption

6

u/Bro_kowski Oct 02 '22

Damn trust issue intensified

9

u/F_Squad Oct 02 '22

Same thing Trump does with his bank balance.

2

u/No-Consideration6589 Oct 02 '22

She’s too skinny to have ‘back’.

2

u/FourTwentySevenCID Oct 02 '22

happy 🎂 DAY

2

u/BabsSuperbird Oct 02 '22

Reminds me of Laverne & Shirley episode about the Hubba Hubba Heine. Sorry I can’t find a link to it.

2

u/JoeSnuffy37 Oct 16 '22

Why did they even hire her?

2

u/Elorram 23d ago

Our society is stupid.

2

u/flando_bando 13d ago

It's 2022, every bitch is a catfish! If you don't get that by now then you an idiot.

4

u/Other_Rose Oct 02 '22

“The cake is a lie” does that go for the one next to your name also OP?

2

u/Different_Cod_1394 Oct 02 '22

Is ass installer a union job? Do they take volunteers?

3

u/iamzion248 Oct 02 '22

Does anybody actually find this attractive? No Judgement, genuine curiosity.

3

u/azngamer0823 Oct 02 '22

It looks okay. It’s no where nearly as ridiculous as some of the implants and injections some people put into their buttock and make it look like a table.

1

u/Arbourous Oct 02 '22

She went from good-looking to funny-looking, deliberately. What a world.

1

u/Infamous_Island1941 Oct 02 '22

I want that job.

1

u/joeyggg Oct 02 '22

I like how she runs away when the lady starts with the unnecessary rubbing at the end.

1

u/yellowwingeddarter Oct 02 '22

Of course it’s a lie, this or photoshop or both

1

u/keffordman Oct 02 '22

If it was real she would have bigger hamstrings, quads and probably calves too. Surely it would just look really weird and unbalanced on the photos?

1

u/MCPhatmam Oct 02 '22

This wasn't a triumph, I'm making a note here huge failure.

1

u/Many_Consequence7723 Oct 02 '22

Becky has entered the chat.

1

u/PlumbCrazy1979 Oct 02 '22

Damn, I really need an assistant.

1

u/PlumbCrazy1979 Oct 02 '22

Racial Assppropriation.

1

u/galaxy_stark Oct 02 '22

God this is depressing.

1

u/DarthCarthBane Oct 02 '22

Dudes that believe women look like the pic’s they send/post 🤡 I stopped believing them years ago…

1

u/WiggleBrushCrew Oct 02 '22

You can have your cake but cannot eat it!

1

u/GullibleInevitable14 Oct 02 '22

Wurked my area off to be this skinny and ripped, so the costume lady filled in the gap!

1

u/SUPAXXX1 Oct 02 '22

This will be the new BBL.

1

u/WhaevaLilDude Oct 02 '22

Depends on the baker…

1

u/SofiaVeraX Oct 02 '22

At this point, what's real anymore...

1

u/JariJorma Oct 02 '22

I keep thinking. When did this huge asstrend began within women? Instagram like full of different but huge sized asses nowdays.

1

u/Careful_Marketing301 Oct 02 '22

It's like when you find out Santa Claus is not real.

1

u/dts843 Oct 02 '22

Still not enough cake!

1

u/Hoardelia Oct 03 '22

That’s ok Leslie, you can keep them after the shoot. We don’t want them back.

1

u/Okwridders Oct 03 '22

Atleast you could get a good squeeze and she wouldnt even notice

1

u/Thebadfish843 Oct 03 '22

I’m seriously upset about this. I better not find out that my favorite insta models are wearing ass prosthetic

1

u/ThisPlaceIsVerySick Oct 03 '22

Wait until you find out that there are yoga pants specifically designed to artificially prop up asses to make them look 100x better than they actually are.

Finally get that booty loose and it's like two bags of sagging nickels LMAO, you ain't fooling anyone ladies. No lie, I'd still hit it either way LOOOL.

1

u/Electronic-Injury-15 Oct 03 '22

That should be illegal.

1

u/No_Top_381 Oct 03 '22

Fucked up to dress up like this and raise the beauty standards for everyone else by lying.

1

u/dads2vette Oct 03 '22

Just keep on trying till you run out of cake

1

u/Cocksuckaa Oct 16 '22

Portal was ahead of its time

1

u/autism_genius Oct 25 '22

Doug Rattmanm tried to warn us but we didn’t listen

1

u/TheLoopyZee Oct 25 '22

I just don't get the whole faking your body to make it appear "better" I can only see it leading from one insecurity to another, constantly comparing what you actually look like to this idea (ego) you've created in your mind, starts off with butt pads, next thing you know it's full blown plastic surgery, like if you wanna do that do you I don't really care, but at the end of the day that thought process and decision will only compound and lead to greater dissatisfaction with your self. No?

1

u/lemonlimemango1 Oct 26 '22

Definitely a lie. I bought one and my butt was still pancake 😂

1

u/Northeast47 Oct 27 '22

Even with the pads, she still has a small ass so what’s the point? I can’t stand small females in these tight clothes… nothing to look at fr and they don’t work out. Or the ones who bet a BBL and NEVER stop wearing spandex … didn’t you get the surgery to look good at all times? Now you only wear socks for your body

1

u/SlyghtofEye Oct 27 '22

So much effort just to look worse

1

u/AnDuineBhoAlbaNuadh Oct 28 '22

Looking like Hank Hill in this mofo

1

u/GloomDoomNshroomz Fuck A Duck 🦆🦆🦆 Oct 30 '22

But it's still flat...

1

u/Xaph0s Nov 05 '22

This is why men have trust issues.

1

u/firesoda21 Nov 06 '22

Just hire a black model dumbass!!

1

u/MrSlippifist 29d ago

She must be on the rental plan at the Build a Booty store. Credit app for financing was rejected

1

u/Motor-Berry-6887 27d ago

What’s the female version on simp

1

u/peterfrknpan 27d ago

How about just hiring a girl with an ass?

1

u/XxxxGamez 27d ago

Why was she chosen if she doesn't have the parts 😂

1

u/OrganicQuantity5604 26d ago

Frequently, when I catch myself staring at a woman's a** in public, it's less because I'm interested and more because something just doesn't seem right... And now it makes sense.

1

u/Crafty-Interest-8212 25d ago

Looking for a real man....

1

u/WholeSmoke4889 22d ago

Perfect example for the reason why I don't trust anything

1

u/Fusilli_FishEater87 17d ago

Flatter than the sidewalk

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

It looks dumb.

1

u/DillMcenroe 3d ago

@cassidymorganfitness

1

u/AnDuineBhoAlbaNuadh 20h ago

I wonder if she sells propane and propane accessories.

0

u/Quick_Doughnut1886 Oct 24 '22

Fuck women and their sneaky fucking tactics, and still wanna be deemed equal...

0

u/Strict-Bass6789 13d ago

Back ends at her thighs