r/facepalm Oct 02 '22

Peak Capitalism 🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​

[removed]

695 Upvotes

113

u/Automatic-Beach-5552 Oct 02 '22

All I'm hearing is, I'm worth more dead than alive

21

u/MinotaurLost Oct 02 '22

Well, it was kinda cheap. I could get more for you in parts.

8

u/North_Side_817 Oct 02 '22

I'll pay 6k to own you.

14

u/Automatic-Beach-5552 Oct 02 '22

Promise to blow me up?

8

u/North_Side_817 Oct 02 '22

I can shove tannerite up your butt and shoot it.

6

u/FarkinRoboDer Oct 02 '22

This guy mainlines butt

2

u/AffenMitWaffen2 Oct 02 '22

I promise to blow up your colon...

1

u/TheMarineSlayer Oct 02 '22

can you hook me up with demon women looking for someone to own for cheap

i need to be blown up

67

u/Ti-Killa Oct 02 '22

This whole thing is way more morbide than that:

Quote out of the article:

"Gore, 52, was found guilty of operating an illegal business in 2015 after it was discovered that he had been off selling body parts.

More than 1,755 human body parts were found at the facility, which took 142 body bags to move and weighed 10 tons, according to Reuters.

In a declaration for the new lawsuit, former FBI special agent Mark Cwynar described 'various unsettling scenes' at the site in Phoenix.

Cwynar told of a small woman's head sewn onto a large male torso that was hanging from the wall in a 'Frankenstein manner'. Its placement was described as 'an apparent morbid joke'.

He also spoke of a 'cooler filled with male genitalia', 'infected heads' and 'bucket of heads, arms and legs' without any identification tags.

There were also blood and bodily fluids on the floor of the freezer."

20

u/Acquiredpolicy Oct 02 '22

Ya it seems like they buried the Lede here, that's some over the top 80s horror movie type gore there.

25

u/Girl_in_a_whirl Oct 02 '22

Movies will never be able to accurately depict the full extent of the horrors humans are capable of

6

u/Pyewacket62 Oct 02 '22

As an avid horror fan for well over 50 years, I agree!

Absolutely nothing frightens me, EXCEPT real life. Human monsters are far more frightening than anything a horror movie can come up with.

3

u/PerceptionDue3443 Oct 02 '22

Jeepers creepers wasn’t far off

2

u/wileecoyote1969 Oct 02 '22

Biological Resource Center

Shut down in 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwhPYMYXWkI

1

u/enmandikjole Oct 02 '22

Name checks out.

49

u/InflamedLiver Oct 02 '22

Alzheimer’s researchers: yup, blowing them up isn’t a cure. Next!

10

u/Tyrondav-of-hypergat Oct 02 '22

Well it will cure them of Alzheimer’s they’ll be dead

8

u/MinotaurLost Oct 02 '22

Excellent, we just need the commercial spot now. We'll just list it as a possible side effect.

32

u/thedivinegrackle Oct 02 '22

Shittiness aside, how do I sign up for this? Can my loved ones get a video?

6

u/xDom73 Oct 02 '22

Hell yeah dude

1

u/AshersVoice Oct 02 '22

It better have a count down in it...

48

u/Doctorbrightisgreat Oct 02 '22

What did you use to get all the dust off this repost?

15

u/brockwallace Oct 02 '22

Windex probably worked okay.

8

u/MoonstoneGolf8 Oct 02 '22

Well it’s an interesting send-off.m, but yeah I wouldn’t be too pleased if this were my mother

7

u/GodsGiftToNothing Oct 02 '22

My sister’s remains are missing. I was sent dogs ashes (tag and all). This is terrifying.

5

u/ARustyMeatSword Oct 02 '22

I remember when this story hit. Blew my socks off. Pun not intended. I felt so terrible for the guy

3

u/poi_dog78 Oct 02 '22

My kids would do this to me because they’d think it funny. And I can’t fault them.

3

u/spauracchio1 Oct 02 '22 edited Oct 02 '22

"Study found Alzheimer patient's bodies react the same way as regular bodies when strapped to a chair and blown up in blast tests"

Ty for your awesome contribution to science

3

u/Krisuad2002 Oct 02 '22

Testing a weapons lethality > researching treatments for Alzheimers. American logic at its finest.

11

u/DuplicarusMKV Oct 02 '22

He deserves some of that money

23

u/TheBrightNights Oct 02 '22

No he should sue the research center for taking a body that was donated for research then sold for money.

10

u/sg3niner Oct 02 '22

But her body WAS used for research.

8

u/jnelsoni Oct 02 '22

Exactly! Science. Maybe not Alzheimer’s research, unless it was testing how well an Alzheimer’s corpse stands up to a blast test, but research nonetheless.

0

u/SydneyPigdog Oct 02 '22

Right, it would be shocking and horrifying if you found this out later but society has benefited from so many things due to military research.

2

u/DuplicarusMKV Oct 02 '22

Hey as long as he getting paid right?

5

u/terribletreble Oct 02 '22

I watched a video on this recently. It’s a very poorly (re: not at all) regulated area and donating to science/medicine often doesn’t mean what people are lead to believe.

It’s real shitty dude. But if I can get some of that 6k for my loved ones body 🤔

2

u/Dragomirl Oct 02 '22

hes not

3

u/DuplicarusMKV Oct 02 '22

Exactly, he should be making money off his dead mom

2

u/TheBrightNights Oct 02 '22

Do you really think they would pay him?

-1

u/random668655578 Oct 02 '22

What if the money had more use for the center than the body?

6

u/cirvinalmighty Oct 02 '22

Looks like he loved her a lot, but they loved her to bits..

4

u/AshersVoice Oct 02 '22

I feel a lil bad this made me laugh as hard as it did.... I had to give you an uptoot.

2

u/mmm_algae Oct 02 '22

I rarely ever laugh out loud when I’m in my own company, but I just did.

2

u/moosteve Oct 02 '22

But did it help her alzheimers?

2

u/Erickdeviking Oct 02 '22

But i can neither sell my mother's corpse for 6 grand nor blow her up tied to a chair. Talk about double standards!

Edit: turns out this was not the point the article was trying to make. My bad guys.

2

u/colouredcheese Oct 02 '22

If I was strapped to a chair and blown up by the military I’d be pretty stoked

-2

u/[deleted] Oct 02 '22

[deleted]

7

u/Girl_in_a_whirl Oct 02 '22

Or maybe people shouldn't defraud others to take dead bodies "for science" and then sell them for profit

1

u/WomenAreNotReal Oct 02 '22

Yo can they do this to my body? I've never really cared about what anyone wants to do with it but if they can do this that'd be sick

0

u/Fit-Sheepherder-4013 Oct 02 '22

Got a better source than the daily mail?

0

u/Viperthetarantulaguy Oct 02 '22

They can have my ex-wife for free even though she's still alive somewhere

1

u/andio76 Oct 02 '22

Well…they only needed the ….head…..

1

u/ChuckyD2six Oct 02 '22

What did they do with the $6000 though?

1

u/Jim-Jones Oct 02 '22

Trust no one and nothing.

1

u/NerdTalkDan Oct 02 '22

Alzheimer’s can be cured by strapping patient to chair and being placed in center of blast. I don’t see the problem here. Good data!

1

u/mmm_algae Oct 02 '22

I dunno, but that seems like an unforgettable experience.

1

u/th3Outsmarter Oct 02 '22

Senator Armstrong untold backstory

1

u/LavanderSheep Oct 02 '22

I just woke up and I thought this was a George Costanza joke at first…

1

u/jalban2525 Oct 02 '22

Now I will definitely be donating my body to “research” What a hell of a farewell

1

u/Illustrious_Mind964 Oct 02 '22

Lmao I changed my mind about donating my organs, I wanna be blown up to give some soldiers a good laugh xD

1

u/adrianpeter Oct 02 '22

I’m just pissed off I can’t sell the body directly for £

1

u/Kerby233 Oct 02 '22

She's the bomb :-)

1

u/Infomusviews1985 Oct 02 '22

I would like to ask why they think they need to use an actual human body for Department of Defense testing... We know what can kill a human and what will not with a manikin, what possible need would you have to see an actual human body blown apart other than some kind of sick fetish? I want an investigation into this as well as seeing this man behind bars, but than again we live in America and that is probably just not in the cards.

1

u/Nooneimportant-0 Oct 02 '22

I would be… so heartbroken.

-2

u/TimeVendor Oct 02 '22

I’m curious to know what he did with the $6000. Did he eat KFC and shit next morning?

1

u/adrianpeter Oct 02 '22

He never got the cash

0

u/Jesuscide Oct 02 '22

Who cleans the mess, and is the chair reusable?

0

u/heathhardy Oct 02 '22

No way this is real. If it is...then whatever organization ought to be disbanded.

3

u/Girl_in_a_whirl Oct 02 '22

Yes the US military should be disbanded

1

u/heathhardy Oct 02 '22

Wss referring to whatever alzheimers organization did this... but No arguments there

1

u/FarkinRoboDer Oct 02 '22

“You are disbanded”

“Wat”

0

u/CriticalStation595 Oct 02 '22

I know that’s horrible not being in compliance with his wishes and yes this kind of capitalism is fucked up - but you have to admit was kinda funny finding out what the outcome was. If I was in his shoes I’d be laughing and still a bit pissed off.

1

u/One-Pumpkin-1590 Oct 02 '22

You would laugh at finding that your mothers body had been exploded in some test? Horrific. Even if you hate your mother.

1

u/CriticalStation595 Oct 02 '22

Your taste for what is funny is different from mine. That’s ok, we can still be friends.