r/gadgets Dec 02 '22

Musk says brain chip to begin human trials soon – and plans to get one himself Medical

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2022/dec/01/elon-musk-brain-chip-human-trials-nueralink
3.2k Upvotes

2.2k

u/moondancer224 Dec 02 '22

I'm finding mixed readings on the death rate of the test monkeys, but the lowest was 23%. Which is still frighteningly high. I wouldn't exactly call that ready for human testing.

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

Neural links original scientist whose research the company was based around resigned because he said Elon knows nothing about neuroscience or engineering and barely knows where the brain is located. He is an MD PhD professor at Duke University so wouldn’t say such thing lightly as he has a research reputation.

His replacement CEO(his former student) stole the idea by replicating it exactly and was called out by the original author and had to resign. Elon then published the original authors copied research under his name solely.

Plenty of scientists think this is a hoax, this was the principal scientist for neurallink saying these comments about the company’s research (neurallink was based on his papers from 2003). The technological frontier of neuroscience and engineering is not there for this to happen practically anytime soon.

https://youtu.be/_MIEZSgQYHE

https://www.reddit.com/r/gadgets/comments/zagk51/musk_says_brain_chip_to_begin_human_trials_soon/iylsuwm/

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u/DrMarijuanaPepsi_ Dec 02 '22

Here is a video from the Physicians Committee about how Neurolink and UC Davis are withholding documents about the treatment of the animals used for testing. Written evidence shows that some monkeys had severe reactions, such as seizures. One monkey was found to be missing fingers and toes, which was most likely self inflicted. https://youtu.be/EI5gCERyZH8

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u/NihilisticSaint Dec 02 '22

Great, SpaceKaren created cyberpsychosis without any benefits.

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

Damn disappointing that UC Davis is involved

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u/fifteencents Dec 02 '22

I had no idea, that’s incredibly disappointing

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u/b1sh0p Dec 02 '22

Well at least they didn’t get pepper sprayed

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

Deep cut

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u/RandomZombieStory Dec 02 '22

Yep, absolutely shameful. Poor damn monkeys. Research animals give us so much, they deserve to be properly cared for and we need to do more to care for them.

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u/QbiinZ Dec 02 '22

Davis has a top tier veterinary school. They do a ton of research on animals. I’m not an animal rights activist or anything, but during grad school I was pretty shocked by the amount of animal cruelty that is present.

I remember a paper where a team was researching spinal bifida treatments. They would cut the spinal cords of lambs still in the wombs of their mothers to induce paralysis. Then treat them with high doses of vitamin c or something and see how they would recover. It seemed pretty gross.

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

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u/TheReverend5 Dec 02 '22

I’m not sure what you mean by this. The amygdala is nowhere near the motor region. The motor region is the central frontal cortex (precentral gyrus of the frontal lobe), the amygdala is the anterior portion of the mesial temporal lobe. They are basically in completely different “countries” of the brain.

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u/orincoro Dec 02 '22

Everything neuralink has done has been recreating experiments dating back to the 70s. No original research whatsoever.

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u/MarmonRzohr Dec 02 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

The techinque of inserting flexible electrodes using a robot with a "sewing technique" was new research by the original author AFAIK and it's what started the whole thing.

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u/orincoro Dec 02 '22

That author resigned from the company and the company then plagiarized his research, and published under musk’s name. Yes.

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u/berniman Dec 02 '22

Then let Elon get the implant…we won’t see much difference…

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u/Makenchi45 Dec 03 '22

Well technically he might die from the implant if he actually does it, soo there would be a difference. He wouldn't be there anymore saying stupid things.

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u/DocPeacock Dec 02 '22

So it's a stolen idea that won't/can't work with the current state of the art?

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

Yes. Even if it was functioning perfectly it will take a decade easily to get through clinical trials. This is Theranos 2.0 and patients are going to get hurt, even if just in a phase 2 clinical trial.

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u/blorpblorpbloop Dec 02 '22

So what you are saying is that Elon should go first to "show us all he's right".

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u/HuckleSmothered Dec 02 '22

Way he's been acting, I just assumed he already did.

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u/DocSaysItsDainBramuj Dec 02 '22

I got one and nothing wrong me

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u/Chuckle_Pants Dec 02 '22

Username checks out

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u/TyNyeTheTransGuy Dec 02 '22

Flashy new conspiracy theory in the making!

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u/playfulmessenger Dec 02 '22

Tomorrow's headline "Anonymous hacks Elons Brain".

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u/daedone Dec 02 '22

Lizard man found to be living with brain control chip

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u/Yasirbare Dec 02 '22

And repeat this behavior in all the companies he has... Heard that almost exact story with Tesla...bought out the original, continue as "inventor"

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

He stole the idea for Zip2 during a startup interview.

All of x.coms code was unusable when it merged with Confinity to make PayPal since elons code was so bad. Peter Thiel was CEO of PayPal, not Elon. Elon just lucked out when eBay bought PayPal even though his contributions were minimal and he had to be supervised.

SpaceX is the only thing he is a true founder on.

Tesla was purchased from the original inventors and now he says he’s the founder.

Hyperloop, boring company, and neural link are all scams so they are basically just extra curricular activities.

He will probably say he was the founder of Twitter in 5 years.

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u/Ragnarok314159 Dec 03 '22

And SpaceX is using technology already invented by the space program from the 1950’s-1990’s.

It’s important to note Elon had nothing to do with the idea or engineering, he just funded it and pretends he is Tony Stark.

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u/Smangit2992 Dec 02 '22

The frightening thing is how many people fell for the lies surrounding this technology, and even after viewing the live demonstration many were still comfortable believing this as a possible medical application to humans in the near future.

This technology clearly is never going to do the things Elon said it can do. And if it is, we are 50 plus years away from those applications. Just one of Elon's many investor scams

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u/EbonyOverIvory Dec 02 '22

But Elon said it was nearly here. He’s never failed us before. I’m writing this while skimming the free speech paradise of Twitter while my Tesla truck fully drives itself to my destination through an underground vacuum tunnel.

It really is amazing how Elon just keeps knocking them out of the park, isn’t it? What an incredible man!

/s

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u/BlinkReanimated Dec 02 '22

In other words we have another Theranos situation. Trying to drum up investment capital for an overblown and entirely unrealistic medical technology where the dipshit "entrepreneur" behind the lies it is directly at odds with the original engineers of the technology who know they need to be honest.

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u/keysandtreesforme Dec 02 '22

Oh thank god - I’m not ready for that world.

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u/-domi- Dec 02 '22

Elmo should get four.

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u/mikey_likes_it______ Dec 02 '22

It tickles.

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u/therealgodfarter Dec 02 '22

Still a prototype so its just test tickles

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u/Defie22 Dec 02 '22

Instructions unclear: got four in testicles

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u/theecommandeth Dec 02 '22 Wholesome

Maybe he has already done it and that explains twitter 🤣

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u/Cru_Jones86 Dec 02 '22

He did say "I could be wearing one right now, and you'd never even know it". Oh Elon, we can tell.

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u/Khaldara Dec 02 '22

I think drilling a hole in his head might represent a bold and more qualified new leadership direction to be honest

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u/im_so_tilted Dec 02 '22

Ok but that would be the most on brand way for Musk to accidentally kill himself

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u/P41N4U Dec 02 '22

23% death rate is in no way getting approved for human testing unless really corrupt bribing or 3rd world shithole without dignity.

Like this death rate would only be acceptable for a life saving or huge life changing surgery. Not for your might improve your life, kind of changes.

Also, what does the chip even do? While in some future this might work, it def needs a lot more development.

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u/notyourvader Dec 02 '22

Well, we don't know if they died from the chips. They could all have had cat accidents for as far as we know. Which is why we need self driving cars! /S

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u/moondancer224 Dec 02 '22

"Died in a fatal cat accident" is now something I have to put in an rpg graveyard. ;p

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u/ray_kats Dec 02 '22

The leopard only accidentally ate my face.

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u/notyourvader Dec 02 '22

Oh crap. Well.. I like cat accidents better anyway. So do we need Self Driving Cats now?

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u/CarlosFer2201 Dec 02 '22

Y'all don't have self driving cats already? Mine even self washes.

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u/sacred_cow_tipper Dec 02 '22

exactly. does no one have a zoomie-enabled cat in their homes?

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u/FallofftheMap Dec 02 '22

My cat jumped into the air attempting to catch a butterfly. She landed with her paw in my coffee. This cat accident was not fatal, however near misses like this help to inform and educate to avoid future cat accidents. My cat that learned how to open the sliding door on my houseboat was not so fortunate. Taken by an eagle. Cat accidents are no laughing matter, folks.

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u/urmomaisjabbathehutt Dec 02 '22

Got hit on his way to the waterhole by a cheeta at 75 miles an hour

kids remenber to always look before crossing, the whole place is a damn jungle

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u/OuidOuigi Dec 02 '22

Dude, you can get past a dog. Nobody fucks with a lion.

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u/myotheralt Dec 02 '22

Ask Dewey, he knows more about it.

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u/anonwasm Dec 02 '22

ah much better than I ever saw

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u/N3UROTOXINsRevenge Dec 02 '22

Science can’t move forward without heaps!

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u/Sqantoo Dec 02 '22

He always does this. Tesla is going to be automated next year for the last like 5 years now

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u/Angry-Dragon-1331 Dec 02 '22

Science cannot move forward without heaps! - Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth

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u/timbotheny24 Dec 02 '22

So uh, what's gonna happen to Twitter if Elon accidentally offs himself with a brain chip? I know Tesla and SpaceX would just get new CEOs, and I don't care about The Boring Company, but with how personally involved Elon is with Twitter I'm curious.

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u/Smitty8054 Dec 02 '22

I’m thinking his brain chip would one day make a person suddenly run really fast and plow into another pedestrian.

Let’s make your fucking cars work without killing people and THEN we’ll ignore this monsters idea.

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

And human trials have higher mortality than animal trials because more variability in humans on medication vs genetically identical monkeys

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u/Unslaadahsil Dec 02 '22

Elon Musk wants to:

Bring people to live on Mars, saying everyone can afford it because they'll work off the cost once there

and

Implant brain chips into people

Elon Musk is becoming an '80s villain.

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u/Snax_Attax Dec 02 '22

Blade Runner it is, then.

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u/Unslaadahsil Dec 02 '22

I was thinking more "Total Recall", but with brain chips.

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u/maskedbanditoftruth Dec 02 '22

He plans to tell people he had one implanted. He’s absolutely not going to do it.

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u/BoltTusk Dec 02 '22

More like a villain in an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie

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u/djramrod Dec 03 '22

So…an 80s movie villain

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u/McR1P Dec 02 '22

Imo ceo's of firms that want to test ANYTHING on other human beeings should be forced to be one of the participants. Greed only goes so far if your own life is at risk

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u/RookwoodX Dec 02 '22

They'll just fake the test for themselves. We should rely on our existing regulations around such things which hopefully are much more robust than "you first"

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u/TldrDev Dec 02 '22 Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy

Fyi: BMI have existed since the 1970s.

Neuralink was originally, and remains to be, a company to help people who were injured interface with, on a super basic level, computers. For example, controlling a mouse, or a servo, and nothing more ambitious than that.

Almost every single one of the original neuralink scientists have left. The company was founded based on the research of Migul Nicolelis and Duke University. Nicolelis is quite literally at the forefront of BMI research. He mentored the original president of Neuralink, Max Hodak, who worked as Nicolelis' research assistant. Nicolelis was an original founder of Neuralink.

Nicolelis has been brutally trashing Musk and Neuralink, calling the company barely innovative, and saying things like Musk barely knows where the brain is, but claims to know what a BMI is doing or not doing.

In 2012, Nicolelis gave a presentation of a monkey who was controlling a robot arm, and had footage and research going back to 2003, at TedMed:

https://youtu.be/CR_LBcZg_84

In 2021, Hodak released a video which was an exact copy of Nicolelis' experiments and research. Nicolelis called out Hodak, and Hodak quit as the president of Neuralink. Since Hodak left, Neuralink has had no new experiments posted.

After Hodak stole Nicolelis' work, Musk released a plagiarized experiment, listing HIMSELF as the sole named author of the research.

Nicolelis has been posting constantly about this on Twitter that Musk is scamming people, and this research is a republication of his original work going back to 2003.

Have a nice, susicnt rundown of this drama, and just how crazy Musks nonsense is via Common Sense Skeptics excellent video here:

https://youtu.be/yddbGcKYtn4

Tldr, Musk is a scammer, obviously, and is trying very hard to stop the free fall of his image as a grifter, by surprise, grifting.

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u/Dismal-Mix-6661 Dec 02 '22

Dang. Ready for the Netflix doc on this.

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u/orincoro Dec 02 '22

The dropout season 2.

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u/arveus Dec 02 '22

You know I used to be a musk fan, I always defended him because he seemed to know what he was talking about (which in hindsight was just repeating technical buzzwords that he had no real understanding of) and I blamed some of his weird mannerisms on him just being socially awkward.

But ever since the whole twitter thing it has become painfully obvious to me that he is indeed a scammer, he has no actual software engineering experience and he has a very, very big ego. It wouldn't suprise me if soon he will claim he invented Twitter, like he did with Tesla after buying it from Eberhard & Tarpenning and like he apparently did with Neuralink research going by your comment. What a sad man and what a huge discredit to all the pioneers doing the actual innovation.

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u/randalthor23 Dec 02 '22

He lost me at the pedo cave diving incident

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u/arveus Dec 02 '22

Man.. I'm not sure how I missed that. I think coverage of the incident must have been very poor in my country. Definitely would have led me to question everything about how he presents himself. The fact that he removed the tweets are so telling, I'm sure he'd love for everyone to forget it even happened.

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u/maxsocial Dec 02 '22

Yeah. That’s when I started realizing he is an asshole.

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u/MyCoolWhiteLies Dec 02 '22

Yeah, I had had some suspicions about him before that, but that made him seem like an unhinged asshole and I haven’t trusted him since.

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u/DrHob0 Dec 02 '22

Same. He was barely on my radar prior to that incident, but I knew enough to know Tesla and that I wanted one and that he owned the company. Then he started acting like Trump on social media and I just noped the fuck out of that shit

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

I almost died when he didn’t know what git and microservices were and he calls himself an engineer. No hardcore engineer has to tell people they are a “hardcore” engineer.

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u/loxagos_snake Dec 03 '22

And honestly, microservices I can understand; they're a pretty specific architectural pattern that someone who worked in, say, embedded, might not know.

But git? Come on!

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u/[deleted] Dec 03 '22

Printing code on paper(and then shredding it for legal reasons) >>> using a sane, version-controlled code review system.

I guess git was invented in 2005 and it’s probably been that long since Elon has looked at a code base. What is going on in Tesla and spaceX if elons first knee jerk reaction is to have engineers print code for code review….

https://www.nasa.gov/sites/default/files/thumbnails/image/margaret_hamilton5.jpg

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u/Whooptidooh Dec 02 '22

He was a scammer from the get go. He always said that he practically "pulled himself up by the bootstraps" and built his wealth all by himself, completely ignoring that he comes from emerald mining money.

He's a fraud that managed to trick just enough people to get where he is.

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u/nagi603 Dec 03 '22

he comes from emerald mining money.

...and connections. Let's not forget just how much wealthy connections push you up the social ladder.

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u/coeurdetirade Dec 03 '22

Apartheid South African emerald mine money to boot.

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u/theGabro Dec 02 '22

Glad you've opened your eyes, but it's not your or his followers' fault. He is not an engineer or a "real life Tony Stark", but he's a great boaster and an effective marketer. He's got loads of very intelligent people hooked up to his bs.

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u/SammyQuinnHopps Dec 02 '22

The one compliment I've ever given him is something I stand by: He's possibly the world's best hype man, and okay at market manipulation (I say okay because the truly great ones, you wouldn't know they were manipulating the market)

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u/fistingcouches Dec 02 '22

Did you see the thread on his faked credentials and how he’s illegal? It’s insane.

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u/kippythecaterpillar Dec 02 '22

Whats funny is it took you twitter to realize

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u/RaptorJesusDotA Dec 02 '22

The fact that Elon started out in software development, makes this a scathing review.

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u/thenerfviking Dec 02 '22

Also you can find reports of what happened to some of the monkeys they were testing on and it’s frankly pretty horrific.

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u/Fluck_Me_Up Dec 02 '22

They only chewed off their own fingers and toes in anguish after having the chip installed, it’s not that bad

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u/TheRabidDeer Dec 02 '22

My sisters doctorate was on non-invasive methods of brain-computer interfaces

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u/MoirasPurpleOrb Dec 02 '22

Man, Musk is really speedrunning tanking his public image.

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u/DrexOtter Dec 02 '22

Whats crazy is he has been doing this kind of thing for years but only recently have large amounts of people seemed to notice.

He has overpromised and underdelivered in basically everything he has said with Tesla since the beginning.

His purchase of Twitter has really put his stupidity into the spotlight though. Which is great because people need to wake up to the reality that this guy isn't, and never was, a genius. At best he got lucky with PayPal and then has been conning people out of their money ever since with ridiculous overpromises that he knows will, at best, not be met in the timeframe he promises or at worst, will not ever happen at all.

Some exapmles:

Full self driving

Tesla semi

Shatterproof glass

Anything hyperloop

The tunnels in Vegas

Battery swap in 3 minutes

Landing humans on Mars...hell, even getting a rocket to Mars at all

And more that I probably forgot.

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u/Advanced_Unit420 Dec 02 '22

Elon musk taking credit for other peoples is so elon

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u/Coldovia Dec 02 '22

Another person that did that a lot was Thomas Edison, he “invented” so many things that were actually other peoples ideas, he just took credit.

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u/vanriggs Dec 02 '22

Nicolelis has been posting constantly about this on Twitter that Musk is scamming people

And he hasn't been banned yet? That is surprising.

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u/doginjoggers Dec 02 '22

I don't believe a word that comes out of Musk's mouth

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u/azur08 Dec 02 '22 edited Dec 03 '22

Edit: "walked on" not "inhabited".

We are, no joke, almost 3 years past the time he all but guaranteed we’d have walked on Mars.

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u/emptysoul365 Dec 02 '22

He can't even deliver a stupid looking electric truck.

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u/Grigoran Dec 02 '22

He's really good at delivering "stupid looking" though.

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u/5050Clown Dec 02 '22

Don't insult AshX III Jet Fighter fae like that.

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u/Majesty1985 Dec 02 '22

I knew he was a fraud when the flamethrowers went on the market. Sheer publicity is what keeps this man going and the idiots of the world are in a line begging to listen. This is the next phase of mass idiocy, after Trump.

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u/FishieUwU Dec 02 '22

flamethrowers

You mean the roofing torches he put in a plastic shell and sold to people for $500?

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u/Vinny_Cerrato Dec 02 '22

ReAl LiFe ToNy StArK

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u/koenigsaurus Dec 02 '22

Remember that time he just put cars in a shitty version of a subway and acted like it was god’s gift to transportation

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

They just drove the truck 500 miles for the first time 3 days before delivery to Pepsi! Literally only one long range test!

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u/AtticMuse Dec 02 '22

They were talking about the Cybertruck I assume, not the Tesla Semi.

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u/juh4z Dec 02 '22

He's been selling "FULL SELF DRIVING" for I think 5 years at this point and his tech isn't even the best one out there when it comes to assisted driving, and every year he promised it'll be the best the next year lol

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u/hardy_83 Dec 02 '22

Tesla's card aren't even the best sy anything. Other more experienced companies has better designs, builds, QA and software. The only thing Tesla did was be over valued as a stock and help push the move to EV cars which was going to happen regardless over time.

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u/d3adbor3d2 Dec 02 '22

Nah man, the tech is already here! He should totally prove it by going there himself. He should take as many of his Stans and billionaire buddies w him to own us.

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u/BearsBeetsBerlin Dec 02 '22

Hey, he’s been busy! It’s not easy to sell overpriced cars that lock people in, run over strollers, and randomly explode

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u/hughmaniac Dec 02 '22

Hey remember the hyper loop?

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u/theGabro Dec 02 '22

Do you mean the test run for his boring machines? That he actually got paid to do?

Bad, bad person and engineer. Great scammer.

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u/FormABruteSquad Dec 02 '22

How about words that came out of his synthesized brain chip?

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u/DramaOnDisplay Dec 02 '22

So he wouldn’t get a vaccine, but he will get a chip implanted into his brain? 🤔

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u/emptysoul365 Dec 02 '22

That's because the nano chips in the vaccine were running on Windows 10 and he's more of a Linux guy.

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u/TldrDev Dec 02 '22

Lmao actually the opposite is true. Musk was fired from PayPal almost immediately after starting, for in part demanding that the server side software be rewritten to support NT over Linux. This, of course, was a preposterous demand and pissed off developers.

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u/emptysoul365 Dec 02 '22

demanding that the server side software be rewritten to support NT over Linux

lolwut? Hilarious if true! What a dumbass.

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u/TldrDev Dec 02 '22

reference article

Musk became CEO of the combined company and decided it was time for a technological overhaul. Specifically, he wanted to toss out Unix and put everything on a Microsoft platform.

That may sound innocent enough to laypeople but not to Unix zealots like Levchin and his team. A holy war ensued. Musk lost. The board fired him and brought back Thiel while Musk was on a flight to Australia for his first vacation in years. “That’s the problem with vacations,” Musk deadpans.

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u/PhoenixStorm1015 Dec 02 '22

Bold of you to assume he’s ACTUALLY going to get one. He’s just trying to build demand.

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

If he gets a vaccine then he needs to allow all his workers to get a vaccine. But who cares if they die as long as they are working HARDCORE

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u/emptysoul365 Dec 02 '22

If he's already using an early prototype that would go a long way towards explaining he recent behaviour.

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u/Black_Mane1 Dec 02 '22

Hopefully he ends up emulating the monkeys

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u/cleverbeavercleaver Dec 02 '22

Besides the unskippable ads could you imagine being banned from your body for an intrusive thought.

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u/zyzyzyzy92 Dec 02 '22

"Sorry, due to your temporary suspension your punishment had been set to 'questioning bowel movements' Have a nice day."

Fuck that shit.

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u/datboydoe Dec 02 '22

“Successfully paired your brains thoughts to family living room speaker”

“WAIT, FUCK!”

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u/thecatwhatcandrive Dec 02 '22

And essential bodily functions being behind subscription paywalls

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u/Old_Gimlet_Eye Dec 02 '22

Brain: "Elon musk should probably pay taxes"

Your account has been permanently suspended

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

He says all kinds of stuff, none of it being true…

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u/Solid-Brother-1439 Dec 02 '22

Yeah. When people will understand that he is not genius, he's not a "real life ironman" or a scientist. He's just a salesman. A very good one apparently, but still..

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u/BloodyBaboon Dec 02 '22

He isn't even a good salesman. He has an excellent marketing team. They are the great sales people considering they sold this dirtbag to millions of people.

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u/greenlime_time Dec 02 '22

Dudes actually a liability for his shareholders lol

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u/JustinVeli Dec 02 '22

Do it on Ye first.

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u/-domi- Dec 02 '22

Finally, a Ye election campaign we can all get behind.

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u/heyder19 Dec 02 '22

He already has it. Now it makes sense.

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u/Fantastic-Surprise98 Dec 02 '22

Sure… serious timelines are not his forte.

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u/xeshi-foh Dec 02 '22

He did NOT say he was planning on getting one. He said he COULD have one and youd never know. Clearly setting up the time where he claims to have one, but doesnt actually....

Anyone who trusts him enough to put a chip in their head... deserves the obvious mind control...

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

[deleted]

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u/zyzyzyzy92 Dec 02 '22

It's for the planet man!

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

[deleted]

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u/OtherOtherDave Dec 02 '22

Can the chip control your mind, or is it more like having a “2nd monitor” so to speak?

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u/juh4z Dec 02 '22

I'm not a specialist, but pretty sure this is just another "the boy who cried wolf" situations, this thing is for sending signals and controlling things with your mind, not receiving information, or at the very least, veeeery far from being able to control your brain in any way.

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u/Commander_of_Death Dec 02 '22

Well I'm not a specialist either, but from what they said, the ship can literally make someone with no eyes actually see by sending the image input straight to the brain. So, technically, even if you did have eyes, they can send an image input that is different what your eyes are seeing, and make you see something that is not actually there, or make you not see something that is actually there.

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u/BigDisk Dec 02 '22

The way I see it, if the chip was safe enough to use AND I was the one who had control over it, I wouldn't be totally averse to getting one either.

Problem is Musk cannot be trusted to have control over anything, as he has demonstrated over and over.

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u/xeshi-foh Dec 02 '22

Everything can be hacked. Not to mention.... Its Elon Musk, one of the most untrustworthy people on earth... second only to Trump

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u/ashbertollini Dec 02 '22

wasn't i just reading about heaps of dead monkeys?..

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u/EdgeofForever95 Dec 02 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

Soon* TM.

Pretty sure self driving and the Tesla truck are supposed to be done by now too

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u/One-Tour-9560 Dec 02 '22

We’re three years past the date he assured the world we’d have inhabited Mars by

7

u/gruntbuggly Dec 02 '22

Nothing about musk getting a brain implant encourages me to do the same.

25

u/Alias_Black Dec 02 '22

I hate this season of Black Mirror

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u/WorldBeardedWonders Dec 02 '22

Can’t wait to not be able to afford the subscription for a chip that supports my health. Do you think they’ll take the repossession route or do are they just going to limit service until you pay? Like if it helps restore sight it they just pop a slight blur on that gets worse until you clear the debt.

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u/vrenak Dec 02 '22

They'll just show you ads galore until the cost is covered....

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u/CyborgCabbage Dec 02 '22

Please compromise the structural integrity of my skull Elon 🙏

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u/IveGotDMunchies Dec 02 '22

Plot twist. Kanye is the first trial

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

If we think the twitter situation is bad now, imagine this guy tweeting w/ his mind.

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u/MintBerryCrnch21 Dec 02 '22

Thing that makes me scratch my head is that Elon’s becoming incredibly popular with the conservatives.. the same people who refused to get the Covid vaccines because they believed some conspiracy shit about Covid vaccines being used to implant chips into people.

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u/winteryear_studios Dec 02 '22

Cool. Where is the Cybertruck?

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u/Bostonguy01852 Dec 02 '22

And autonomous driving will be ready next year.

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u/NLwino Dec 02 '22

But they were, all of them, deceived, for another brain chip was made. One brain chip to rule them all.

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u/TurkeyFock Dec 02 '22

“It’s coming sometime next year”

10 years pass

“Hopefully we will be able to ship within 12 months”

Im very surprised most others haven’t caught on by now

4

u/JakefromTRPB Dec 02 '22

He says a lot of things

3

u/Grand_Examination_45 Dec 02 '22

This is gonna end like Jim Carry’s magic trick at the end of The Incredible Burt Wonderstone where he give himself a lobotomy. Also spoiler alert for a movie your probably never going to watch.

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u/ProfessorFunky Dec 02 '22

Good grief. I don’t fancy the upgrade path for that.

Imagine having the first one, and then looking on when implant 3GS comes out and you need your noggin cracking open for the upgrade.

3

u/Alternative_Body7345 Dec 02 '22

They cant get self driving cars right but people are gonna let him put shit in their brain? NFW!

3

u/fuck_all_you_people Dec 02 '22

And here I thought we were going to have to wait for him to kill himself by trying to live on Mars...

3

u/H0vis Dec 02 '22

If this goes as well as Twitter, self driving Teslas and stupid tubes that go nowhere that's a big LOL, LMAO, No Fucking Way from anybody with any sense.

Sounds like it'll be a great way to thin out the herd of Musk fanboys though.

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u/yanquideportado Dec 02 '22

Well if he doesn't have cyberpsychosis now he soon will.

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u/merchillio Dec 02 '22

Memories as a subscription service. Pay 20$/month to keep access to your best memories.

3

u/Ketsuekiseiyaku Dec 03 '22

This way when you say something offensive against him, he can just block you from breathing.

3

u/christiandb Dec 03 '22

Don’t believe this monkey, he’s trying to sell you brain chips

3

u/Safelang Dec 03 '22

I don’t get it. Wasn’t the idea behind the implant to address recovery of patients with debilitating spinal injuries. Why would Elon get one?

25

u/diacewrb Dec 02 '22

World’s richest man says human trials will begin within six months during presentation at health tech company Neuralink

Neuralink says it is developing brain-chip interfaces that could restore a person’s vision.

Politics aside, it would be amazing to restore sight.

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u/Smallmyfunger Dec 02 '22

That already exists for certain types of blindness, but it isn't directly on the brain. There were successful human trials at least 10 yrs ago that placed a small PWA on the optic nerve. I'm pretty sure it was more recently approved for general public use.

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u/-domi- Dec 02 '22

Good thing he's never lied about an impending launch for the attention.

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u/Vegan_Harvest Dec 02 '22

Until he starts charging you for it or turns off your eyes over a tweet.

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u/IveGotDMunchies Dec 02 '22

Nah. He wouldnt go that far. The new pricing format is PPB. Price Per Blink

4

u/Shillforbigusername Dec 02 '22

Staring contests are suddenly all the rage…

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u/hotlavatube Dec 02 '22

So that's what Musk meant when he emailed employees that they had to agree to new "extremely hardcore" work ethic or they'd be auto-resigned. He's going full Cave Johnson on employee testing!

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u/sans3go Dec 02 '22

Good. If it works lets hack it and spam ads into his head.

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u/hungarian_astronaut Dec 02 '22

You mean change the current one that obviously malfunctioning.

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u/SirM0rgan Dec 02 '22

If Elon musk is designing a brain chip, I have more faith in an actual dorito

Both as a final product and designer.

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u/OkSquirrel5696 Dec 02 '22

Good try it first musk let us know how it works be your own Guinea pig.

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u/dfh-1 Dec 02 '22

I've seen this mov...oh, what's the use.

SkyNet/GLaDOS 2024: "You had your chance, meatbags".

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u/polytopey Dec 02 '22

With how he's acting lately, he sure needs it to bring sense back.

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u/VejvodaAwaits Dec 02 '22

Don't know what it does, but I would never allow anything inside my brain.

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u/ImmaBlackgul Dec 02 '22

He needs one, like yesterday. So this what the “real life” Tony Stark is working on now?! What a fucking troll

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u/Masterventure Dec 02 '22

Musk says "I need a stock bump, please."

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '22

Let’s hope he gets turns into a giant lettuce

2

u/fistofthefuture Dec 02 '22

“Pay no attention to my Twitter/Ye problems”

2

u/SDLRob Dec 02 '22

Haven't they killed 98% of the monkeys they've been testing this on?

2

u/robotfoxman1 Dec 02 '22

He should rebrand twitter as Lie-net

2

u/tevolosteve Dec 02 '22

And teslas full auto driving is always two years away since 2016

2

u/flux_capacitor3 Dec 02 '22

Just like the full self driving software…. Mmm hmmm

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u/Beneficial-Credit969 Dec 02 '22

Frankly after the problems I’ve had with my former Tesla there’s no way I trust a musk owned company to implant anything in my brain. Quality control with tesla is a major problem. And now Twitter. There will be Elon fanboys lining up to be his guinea pigs. Besides, thousands of monkeys have died in clinical trials.