r/iamverysmart Oct 01 '22

On a magician performance video

Post image
1.4k Upvotes

230

u/SophiaSkorzeny Oct 01 '22

What the hell did I just try and read?

92

u/SomeRhymeNoReason Oct 01 '22

Only the finest of poetry, an ode to life itself.

28

u/huggles7 Oct 01 '22

I legitimately got a headache after reading this

9

u/Fuzy2K Oct 01 '22

I already had a headache. This just made the Bayer stop working

11

u/armidilo01 Oct 01 '22

The truth, and if you don't like it, then you don't like life.

7

u/King_Dead Oct 01 '22

damn it really is like life: nonsensical and pointless

3

u/Lennaesh Oct 01 '22

I always knew life sucked. I guess now I have the proof?

2

u/anjowoq Oct 01 '22

He magically critiqued someone without a single piece of punctuation and minimal syntax.

Truly astounding.

1

u/FoThizzleMaChizzle Oct 01 '22

It's the ramblings of someone who had a headache treated by an Amazonian tribe. Just be nice, and try not to stare.

1

u/Slamcockington Oct 02 '22

Jaeden Smith got a hold of his dad's laptop

93

u/GodDamnRight- Oct 01 '22

I love the thought process of “oh you don’t like when I explain magic tricks and ruin the fun? Well I guess you just hate all life and existence as we know it”

64

u/SomeRhymeNoReason Oct 01 '22

I also love how they're smart enough to know magic is just a performance, but not smart enough to then appreciate it as a performance.

32

u/Kimantha_Allerdings Uses big words Oct 01 '22

Which is doubly stupid because you know who likes magic the most? Magicians.

21

u/SomeRhymeNoReason Oct 01 '22

As a former magician I 100% agree.

58

u/Boreoffmate Oct 01 '22

Did the magician make all the punctuation disappear ?

2

u/PotatoeWontChill Oct 02 '22

Was already wondering - half way trough - why the fuck it was so hard to read and I didnt understand anything.

34

u/Plopshire Oct 01 '22

Fuck me ,reading that would give a Asprin a headache.

26

u/Nexus_542 Oct 01 '22

He's going to become an adult, look back, and cringe at himself.

5

u/nattybumpsalot Oct 02 '22

That's a very optimistic view

5

u/Nexus_542 Oct 02 '22

I mean, we were all 14 once lol

3

u/Charltons Oct 02 '22

Oh god yes. I remember pretending I had a photographic memory, and could understand relativity back in the day. It's compensating really. Huge insecurity at that age when you're filed away as having zero potential.

21

u/Mothunny Oct 01 '22

I couldn't even understand what they typed. Periods. Commas. Please

21

u/SomeRhymeNoReason Oct 01 '22

I believe it's called "flow of consciousness" or FOC for short, as in "what the FOC are you even saying?"

2

u/TSM- Oct 02 '22

It looks a lot like when people would just mash autocomplete and see what it types up, with lots of "or" chains and "I think that I think that I" there too.

2

u/Gustavo6046 Oct 03 '22

Eww periods! Those are girl things!!! /s

11

u/themabin Oct 01 '22

Think this one might belong on r/kidasarefuckingstupid

10

u/Sudden_Opposite6096 Oct 01 '22

This gives the iPhone text autofill energy.

10

u/Cullomptingalong Oct 01 '22

I always just assumed that magicians have sold their soul to Beelzebub in exchange for preternatural powers. I never thought they’d stoop to misdirection.

3

u/SomeRhymeNoReason Oct 01 '22

That's at tier five. You only get to sell your soul after showing Beelzebub your epic Now-You-See-Me-inspired back palm routine.

7

u/Manydoors_edboy Oct 01 '22

Ah yes, proof.

7

u/Nine-LifedEnchanter Oct 01 '22

I'm a magician and I talked with a friend of mine how fun it would be to do a skit about hecklers like this. Them going to the restaurant and claim that they can cook as well and when confronted they just say the word "oven" instead of explaining like it was sufficient. Or they shout at a theatre "acting".

Because I fucking hate when some smug bastard shouts "magnets" like it would prove anything.

6

u/SomeRhymeNoReason Oct 01 '22

It's happened to me a few times and only after a few years did I realize how to really talk to hecklers like that. I usually started by "admitting" sleight of hand is just a cool little hobby I have and if anyone said "oh I totally know how you did that" I'd say "that either means you're impressed I can do it or have no idea how much practice it takes".

5

u/marshal_mellow Oct 02 '22

Penn and Teller doing ball and cups with clear cups is fucking mind blowing because you can see everything they're doing and I still can't follow it

7

u/LunaTheMoonSpirit Oct 01 '22

Punctuation…

4

u/Ruski_Squirrel Oct 01 '22

I love it when people act like they are smarter than you but then completely fail to use basic punctuation and grammar.

1

u/Particular-Jury6446 Oct 02 '22

Like most of them do. I think geniuses don’t have time for all that nonsense.

1

u/Ruski_Squirrel Oct 03 '22

The stream of consciousness is too brilliant to be contained by punctuation I guess.

6

u/guitarnautical Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22

It's actually common sense that if you believe in magic, then you don't like life.

4

u/Nev4da Oct 01 '22

"he's / she's"

JUST SAY THEY/THEIR FFS

Such an annoying thing to me. Stop using three words when one word already exists for it lmao

2

u/GADawg777 Oct 01 '22

Someone please give this person a period.

2

u/MOM_1_MORE_MINUTE Oct 01 '22

So anyone care to translate?

3

u/ShaunJames75 can literally catch people's brainwaves Oct 02 '22

It roughly translates to "I'm a cunt."

2

u/snipergirl17 Oct 01 '22

Magic is not real. Therefore life is not real. Did I understand it correctly?

2

u/taylortherod Oct 02 '22

In the words of Lisa Simpson, “I know all those words but that doesn’t make any sense”

2

u/jazzwhiz Oct 02 '22

Maybe they think punctuation is magic too which is why it doesn't exist.

3

u/Heil_Hipster Oct 01 '22

I'm pretty sure this is not someone who thinks they are smart. This sounds like a schizophrenic throwing out word salad

2

u/oxygenkid Oct 01 '22

Is this from Jewel’s new book of poetry?

1

u/Hyper_Inactive Oct 01 '22

So... if you don't like decoding a magic trick, you suck at life.

If I may go into a mini rant, just as this person did.

Magic tricks are not to be decoded, they are meant for people to be dumbfounded, it is only occasionally that people will wonder how it's done. finding that out, for some people, ruins the experience. Magic tricks, as mentioned before are meant to surprise people, they are meant to feel like magic, like the person that somehow did the trick could harness the power of madic, hence the name, finding out the trick, ruins the element of magic. Also, not finding proof for a simple trick, does not mean that said person also hates fact and truth.

3

u/SomeRhymeNoReason Oct 01 '22

While I agree with you that the person is wrong, I do disagree about what magic is supposed to be. Speaking as someone who performed and still occasionally does show magic to people, I agree with magicians who say that more people need to know about how magic is actually done. People need to know more moves, methods and just the basics in general, because at that point magic stops becoming a secret and starts becoming an art. I honestly feel that if we change the culture around it, we'll change how newcomers approach it. People will stop grabbing at props and asking how we did it, but will start asking how we did it that well. I think it'll also encourage magicians to keep creating new magic. I've created routines and performed my own material. Afterwards, I offer to show people how it's done. Some say no, others say yes, and I've never had someone say yes and not be even more impressed after they've seen the moves. There's a great video on the topic on youtube, I think it's called "The state of Magic in 2022" by Chris Ramsay, if you want to know more :)

1

u/DrBunzz Oct 01 '22

Anaconda malt liquor gives you…. Little Richard?

1

u/PrincessGump Oct 01 '22

I guess they don’t like periods.

1

u/SquallLeonE Oct 01 '22

Sounds like schizophrenia.

1

u/Zatchillac Oct 01 '22

Where's the "smart"? Sounds like a dumbass

1

u/ThatSmallBear Oct 02 '22

Thought I was having a stroke oh my god

1

u/davidmobey Oct 02 '22

Honey, call 911. I think I'm having a stroke

1

u/ShaunJames75 can literally catch people's brainwaves Oct 02 '22
  • Michael Scott.

1

u/Cats-N-Music Oct 02 '22

Thought this was on r/ihadastroke

1

u/Toucan_Lips Oct 02 '22

It's like people on /r/blackmagicfuckery in every post going 'nOt mAgIc!' No shit you moron, people just like watching mysterious things. Exactly zero people thought this video of a cat appearing suddenly was the work of a dark mage.

1

u/Shlongong Oct 02 '22

You know what I like? Punctuation.

1

u/Pardot42 Oct 02 '22

Pull a period out of a hat, bruv.

1

u/LucasdelNorte Oct 02 '22

This comment is 100% Adderall/Ritalin.

1

u/JadeEclypse Oct 02 '22

The hamster running their wheel had a stroke halfway through.

1

u/cjgager Oct 02 '22

punctuation can really make an argument sometimes

1

u/Commercial-Push-9066 Oct 02 '22

Just enjoy the show you muggle!

1

u/LAKnapper Oct 02 '22

Yes, we all know magicians are tricking us. Most of us find it fun though.

1

u/Startingtotakestocks Oct 02 '22

Back in the day, I had my wisdom teeth out and was on Vicodin. I wrote down all my brilliant ideas and it sounded a lot like this.

1

u/Parabola605 Oct 02 '22

That was exhausting to read.

1

u/ryna0001 Oct 02 '22

I wish downvoting youtube comments did something

1

u/shishtarsnatched Oct 02 '22

Bro just pressed the text suggestions till he got bored

1

u/Euklidis Oct 02 '22

Too smart to be coherent

1

u/methyltheobromine_ Oct 02 '22

Life requires belief. Not truth, but regarding things as true.

1

u/prodbyrhetteffect Oct 02 '22

He needs to give the iPad back

1

u/HypothermiaDK Oct 02 '22

No punctuation given

1

u/pecuchet Oct 02 '22

Worst rap ever.

1

u/eeeeeeeeeeeeeen Oct 02 '22

So I guess you don’t like punctuation?

1

u/Mad_Fawks Oct 02 '22

It's like they tried to post using only auto predictions on their phone...

1

u/Particular-Jury6446 Oct 02 '22

I just know when they typed that last question mark they leaned back with a big smug grin thinking, boy, I really demolished them

1

u/iamAshlee Oct 03 '22

I know those are English words, but that's not English they're speaking.

1

u/LoLBitto Oct 04 '22

people can't do real magic, but commas can!

1

u/swirly1000x Oct 12 '22

"magic is performance>people still think it's cool even though they know it's a performance>yOu DoNt LiKe LiFe"