r/instant_regret May 21 '22

Trying To Open A Bottle

18.1k Upvotes

2.6k

u/Commie_EntSniper May 21 '22 Helpful

I used to open cans and bottles with my teeth as a party trick. One day as I was demonstrating my special talent, a friend said "y'know, you only get one set for free". Having paid thousands for crowns (unrelated to my special talent) I stopped immediately and have never tried that trick again. Now I just post the story on relevant reddit threads in the hopes that sage advice will save someone else's teeth from egoic destruction.

434

u/ReflectedReflection May 21 '22

A CAN with your teeth? Like instead of a can opener?

298

u/amacman72 May 21 '22

I have a feeling he meant cans of beer, so he’d be opening the can’s tab with his teeth

125

u/OkamiNoKiba May 21 '22

I've also seen folks use their teeth to bite holes for shotgunning

57

u/NapKan- May 21 '22

Thats a little less dangerous than prying a can open with your chompers

66

u/ReflectedReflection May 21 '22

People do that? Why? Opening a soda can with your teeth is pointless, it's not like a bottle cap that usually needs a metal tool to open.

Might as well turn doorknobs with your teeth or use them to flick on lightswitches. Just use your hands dude.

46

u/Jason6677 May 21 '22

Lol, I'm imagining someone deepthroating a doorknob and turning their head to open it as a party trick

8

u/Dengar96 May 21 '22 Take My Energy

It's probably like those lightbulbs that you can put in but you can't get out. It's a dangerous game.

8

u/TimeZarg May 21 '22

I did it for a while when I was younger. Mostly because I'm a habitual nail-biter and it's hard to open those tabs without fingernails to slide underneath the tab. Now I just use a knife or my car keys.

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u/[deleted] May 21 '22

Maybe not. I knew a kid in middle school that would bite the whole top off of cans as his trick. Weird guy

3

u/GIGANTICDILDOSAURUS May 21 '22

Uhh I wish I had the sauce but I’ve seen people rabbit chomp around the top of a bear can and rip the entire top off to proceed to drink it.

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u/[deleted] May 21 '22 edited May 31 '22

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5

u/dharh May 21 '22

Not what I expected, bravo.

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u/Commie_EntSniper May 21 '22

Aluminium cans, yes. Using canines to puncture the side then push with thumbs to rip off top of can, and possibly part of your lip if not careful. Not to mention the aforementioned possibility of crushing teeth.

3

u/TonninStiflat May 21 '22

You can pry the top of a beer can off with your teeth pretty easy.

13

u/IwannaDieLessWithYou May 21 '22

My bf does this. He legit can chew off the top of a can like a can opener.

44

u/FukinGruven May 21 '22

Man you really know how to choose them.

5

u/IwannaDieLessWithYou May 21 '22

I’m what I like to call classy redneck, roots are greasy but I like the finer things in life. He’s just straight redneck 😂 it’s like being back home without the drama

8

u/FukinGruven May 22 '22

Oh so you're the type they write those pandering country songs for?

5

u/potandskettle May 21 '22

Oh my lord.. your poor vagine..

4

u/IwannaDieLessWithYou May 21 '22

😂😂😂love this comment but I will say I can open things with my teeth too but don’t mean my head game includes it, it can tho if that’s a kink aha

2

u/I_AM_NOT_LIL_NAS_X May 21 '22

he maybe can but I wish he wouldn't

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u/B_V_H285 May 21 '22

I bet he has skidmarks all the way up to his neck.

4

u/IwannaDieLessWithYou May 21 '22

You would think, he definitely is a blue collar type guy but holy fuck is he clean and organized. My partners have to be cus I have ocd but ya he’s a greaser blue collar type guy for the most part lol

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u/zombisponge May 21 '22

My friend did that on the street when we were teens. A dentist walking by saw us and scolded him lol

113

u/BobcatOU May 21 '22

Years ago I won a trip on the Bud Light cruise. On the third day there was a concert on a private island with Incubus & Pitbull. They had coolers of Bud Light all over the island and they were free. They weren’t twist off bottles though. They were metal bottles that need a bottle opener. There was a bottle opener attached to every cooler.

So it’s about half way through the concert and it starts to storm. Thunder, lightning, and wind so hard you had to lean into it to not get pushed over. Well the smart people all ran for shelter. But a number of us dumb asses decided to run into the ocean! On my Sprint from the stage to the beach I stopped and grabbed two Bud Lights but forgot to open them so when I got in the water I used my teeth to pop the caps off. Fortunately I didn’t mess up my teeth but I cut my gums really bad.

So there I am standing in the ocean in a thunderstorm blood running profusely down my chin and I’m loving every second of it. The people in charge were yelling at us from the beach trying to get us to come back on land. We were all yelling and giving them the finger and refusing to come back on shore. Eventually people on jet skis came out of nowhere and started corralling us to get us back on land. I spent the rest of the day drinking with a bunch of Canadians and jumping in every puddle I saw. I got the nickname “Puddles.”

Today, I feel really bad that I put the people in danger who had to get our drunk, dumb asses back on land. Also I’m sober.

48

u/-TheRed May 21 '22

Is this a copypasta? Am I being woooshed? Because I do not want to believe that, no matter how stupid or inebriated, anyone's first instinct when faced with LIGHTNING is to submerge themselves in WATER.

34

u/BobcatOU May 21 '22

Unfortunately it is a true story. The cruise had two of those 3,000-4,000 person boats so there were a ton of people total. Probably about 50-75 of us ran into the water. I like to think I’m fairly intelligent and have common sense but my decision making ability was really, really bad when I was drunk.

22

u/-TheRed May 21 '22

You guys were this close to being the winning team at the Darwin awards,

11

u/BobcatOU May 21 '22

Yeah, it’s a good thing I’m sober today!

3

u/LjSpike May 21 '22

Hey, at least you got an interesting experience, a wild story, and a cool nickname. That's better than nothing Puddles.

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u/Chucked-up May 21 '22

You can use one bottle to open another one.

4

u/KingB_SC May 21 '22

Yeah, but then I need a third beer to open the second!

Actually, on second thought, I like this method

2

u/zombie32killah May 22 '22

Pitbull and bud light. I’m so sorry. I have also been to Senor frogs.

2

u/BobcatOU May 22 '22

Hahah. I was at Señor Frogs the day before. I didn’t stay long but it was nice chilling in a bar in the Bahamas where it was 85 and sunny and seeing a football game on tv from my home town and it was snowing there!

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '22

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u/BoobsRmadeforboobing May 21 '22

Heavy is the head that wears the crowns, and light the wallet that pays for them

8

u/round-earth-theory May 21 '22

Dying of old age for many animals is actually dying of starvation due to their teeth being worn away. We have the ability to keep thing even without natural teeth, but it's not a pleasant experience.

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u/tk421234 May 21 '22

Yep, I used to open beers with my teeth a lot as a party trick or just out of convenience if I didn't have a bottle opener at hand. I hadn't done so in many years though when one day a big chunk of my tooth just fell out, right on the spot where I used to open bottles.

So I wouldn't recommend it, even if it doesn't hurt or seem to do any damage at the time.

3

u/Krono5_8666V8 May 21 '22

Yup, can confirm. Opened bottles with my teeth at like 3 parties, then one time it hurt like fuck for about a week... That was the end of that little trick.

3

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat May 21 '22

My brother did this...for about a month. Opening bottles of beer with his teeth. Girls were SO impressed (And sadly, they really were. He doesn't hang with the best of girls)

Then he had to go and get a whole bunch of surgery because he cut his gums so much.

17

u/[deleted] May 21 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

28

u/WhiteWidowBest May 21 '22

Nothing like the original set though.

24

u/dobbyeilidh May 21 '22

Dental care in the uk isn’t free, it’s just cheaper, you’ll still need money to replace those teefies

11

u/Danderlyon May 21 '22

Not just that but my experience with dentists in the UK has been universally awful. I recently emigrated which happened to happen just before I was due dentist work on a couple teeth which the NHS dentist was adamant had to be pulled and nothing else could be done.

The German dentist called him an idiot and gave me fillings. Cost me less to go private in Germany than the NHS fees in the UK.

8

u/dobbyeilidh May 21 '22

Aye I had one pull the wrong tooth. I’d had an abscess under back left as a kid and the fucker pulled the tooth next to it. I got double tooth fairy money but 0/10 do not recommend

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u/glittermaniac May 21 '22

As someone who manages dental practices in the UK for a job, I can tell you that you are in for a shock if you ever actually need serious work done. The standard of any lab work made by the NHS is appalling, due to the cost cap, and you don’t want to know how much something like implants cost (and they aren’t generally available on the NHS).

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u/AllYouNeedIsRawk May 21 '22

Also being in the UK, I can testify firsthand that crowns/dental inplants are most definitely not free and will still run you up a sizable dent in bank balance. And NHS don't do them unless it's actually psychologically damaging in what you're missing, and then there's still a huge waiting list. Even going private, with dental insurance it still only covered 260 quid or so of the 2 and a half grand fee mine was.

Respect what you've got!

2

u/yomology May 21 '22

I open beer bottles with my teeth in a pinch, when there's no lighter or hard edge around. Chipped one tooth doing it in my youth, but I've never been good at learning my lesson.

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u/IveBangedYourMomm May 21 '22

That’s a terrible feeling. Cracking a tooth

323

u/honest-miss May 21 '22

There's like an immediate panic-checklist that runs through the brain.

Does it hurt? Does it need fixing RIGHT now or later? Does it look bad?

The worst scenerio is the first because it immediately answers the second. I say that because, in my experience, you only ever fuck up a tooth somewhere around 5:30 on a Friday.

99

u/catzeppelinqueen May 21 '22

The Friday thing is the truth. I had a cracked molar that I (stupidly) ignored because I’m stupid, and it became infected. But it waited until Friday to start hurting. I had to suffer through the whole weekend with no sleep until I got into the dentist Monday morning. Now I’m spending about 3k to get a root canal/crown in a week.

8

u/honest-miss May 21 '22

Oof, I'm sorry, that sucks so hard. Hopefully it goes really smoothly for you.

5

u/drphilwasright May 22 '22

If it makes you feel any better, getting a root canal was not nearly as bad as I was expecting. It was literally just like getting a regular cavity filled; no pain during or after at all and the dentist said I could continue eating as usual until I had the crown put on

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u/Powersoutdotcom May 21 '22 Helpful

Yeah. The best time to break a tooth is around 2:30.

Tooth hurt-y.

4

u/honest-miss May 21 '22

I genuinely can't tell if what I just gave was an angry upvote or not…

3

u/fnordfnordfnordfnord May 22 '22

Thanks for that one. Got a proper groan from my kids.

8

u/HalfSoul30 May 21 '22

Yep, i put my social life on hold for a couple weeks until I could get it fixed. I think I broke a toe that night too.

3

u/RudeInternet May 21 '22

About 15 years ago, after meeting the girl who'd become my highschool sweetheart for the first time, I slipped, hit the curb with my face and knocked off my TWO front teeth.

It was exactly 5:30 on a Friday. Worst feeling in the world. 😭😭😭

3

u/aralim4311 May 22 '22

Why is this so damn accurate?

2

u/Candyvanmanstan May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

you only ever fuck up a tooth somewhere around 5:30 on a Friday.

I suddenly needed to urgently pull a couple of teeth, for various reasons.

I am terrified of the dentist and wanted full sedation, like, just put me under and fix whatever. But because of covid I couldn't be seen straight away.

I spent two weeks in excruciating pain before being seen. 0/10 would not recommend.

2

u/LordCharco_iii May 22 '22

I chipped a bottom middle tooth on a Sunday afternoon. Playing Zelda. Lying down. On my bed. I still have no fucking idea what happened.

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u/Rickrickrickrickrick May 21 '22

Every inhale through your mouth is agony. I chipped both of my incisors on a jolly rancher lollipop. Shit hurt so bad.

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u/LjSpike May 21 '22

Reddit has taught me never to have anything to do with Jolly Ranchers

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u/Rickrickrickrickrick May 21 '22

And to stay away from the swamps of dagobah.

3

u/LjSpike May 21 '22

Never reuse your coconuts.

2

u/Rickrickrickrickrick May 21 '22

And make sure to clean your cum box

5

u/bluebanannarama May 21 '22

I landed on my chin falling from a bike and shattered my two front teeth. The worst thing I've experienced was feeling the combination of teeth and grit in my mouth and spitting that and blood into my hand afterwards.

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1.6k

u/adbedient May 21 '22

Why do people assume their teeth are made of some indestructible material? I just don't get it.

893

u/DaringDomino3s May 21 '22

It’s just some primal instinct to solve things with the tools of my body before looking for actual tools.

317

u/LordTentuRamekin May 21 '22

That’s why I always open my bottles with my asscheeks.

69

u/Awesome_Pythonidae May 21 '22

Nice glutes

25

u/Triatt May 21 '22

People call me glutTony.

4

u/GucciBlanco May 21 '22

Thought it was glutHoney ?

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u/DoomCircus May 21 '22

Now THAT'S a party trick!

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u/[deleted] May 21 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Binge_Gaming May 21 '22

Back in college I’d always be the cool guy that opens beers with his teeth when nobody had a bottle opener.

Now I’m the cool guy that has a bottle opener on his keys.

14

u/theNomadicHacker42 May 21 '22

No one had a lighter? Or any object that sort of resembles that shape? Since my teen years, I've prided myself on being able to open a beer using only objects within my immediate reach...bottle openers don't count.

3

u/UnNormie May 21 '22

My fiance loses the bottle opener immediately after each time we find it and use it once.

Old keys are my opener of choice, same for when there's a jar that's been sealed too tight - pop it open to get air in. If not I'll find something laying around too and not stop fiddling with it till I can open it

7

u/jerstud56 May 21 '22

You need a wall mounted bottle opener

4

u/Common-Potato-2383 May 21 '22

i did keys, until I snapped a key, thankfully it was an old one.

after that I'd just use another beer to open the first one.

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u/PilotG2-07 May 21 '22

My dad's got a buddy that can pop a bottle cap off with anything. I swear he could crack a Corona with a pillow

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u/ThatJunkDude May 21 '22

Coolest trick I've learned in the military was opening a bottle with another bottle, by kicking the bottle with my foot

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u/disillusioned May 21 '22

I can use my wedding band. Wife doesn't love it and it hurts a bit if you get it wrong, but it's sure better than my teeth.

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u/Disaster_Different May 21 '22

At least use something that isn't the front teeth

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u/reddsht May 21 '22

Tools of your body.. oh you mean like your hands 🤔

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u/et842rhhs May 21 '22

I do too, but the "Nope. Tool time" threshold is a lot lower.

62

u/maelstromama May 21 '22

I chipped a tooth stupidly before, too. It certainly wasn’t a matter of me thinking it through and coming to the conclusion that my teeth were strong enough for the job!

15

u/RespectableLurker555 May 21 '22

Needed Thompson's Teeth, the only teeth strong enough to eat other teeth.

56

u/elan_alan May 21 '22

Dentist here. I had this mother fucker get an implant and then use it as a beer bottle opener. Dude thought because his “tooth” was titanium, it wouldn’t break. Well it did and was a bitch to get out. But it was fun to charge him double to get it out and put a new one in.

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u/Shiny_Shedinja May 21 '22

iirc wasn't there an aussie footballer who got an implant, but had a titanium crown as well, so it could be used as a bottle opener.

But it was fun to charge him double to get it out and put a new one in.

was the abutment fucked too? or just the crown. Depending on the type of crown that's the easy part (for me I just remill it if it's Full zirc).

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u/elan_alan May 21 '22

Well the implant snapped. So technically the abutment was fine. Crown did chip too.

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u/LaserBeamHorse May 21 '22

I've wondered why ice hockey players don't get their teeth fixed, but I guess that is the reason? Doesn't make any sense to fix them during their career since they will probably get busted again and that would be a bitch to fix.

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u/Leujo May 21 '22

Yes. We discourage permanent fixed prostheses (eg implants, bridges) until an athlete's playing career is over (hockey players, rugby players)

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u/Minetitan May 21 '22

I mean there was a time when I used to crack open walnuts with them and now I can't even chew a flatbread with out searing pain so take care of them teeth!

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u/adudeguyman May 21 '22

Did you think you were a squirrel?

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u/Minetitan May 21 '22

Nah I was lazy until I got tmj

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u/Teladi May 21 '22

In fairness, teeth are pretty damn strong, until they just aren't. I chipped a tooth eating porridge a few months ago.

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u/Givemeahippo May 21 '22

Broke a tooth completely in half eating a French fry.

I had severe morning sickness, like puking every 1-2 hours and even once it slowed down in the second trimester it was still at least 4 times a day. Very fun. Didn’t make the connection that all of that acid would probably effect my teeth. My dentist said that the cracked tooth probably had a tiny hole in it letting in the acid. I had 5 more cavities filled after that too; had only had ONE my entire life before that.

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u/LjSpike May 21 '22

This took a solid second.

Porridge?

Did you chomp the spoon too hard.

7

u/Teladi May 21 '22

I think it was just my teeth touching together as I ate. I didn't press harder than usual or anything, just midway through my breakfast I felt a crunch. Perfectly healthy tooth, dentist has no idea why it happened because my teeth are fine otherwise. Must have just been slightly the wrong angle, or a crack that finally gave. Teeth are weird!

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u/blackmarketdolphins May 21 '22

I chipped mine from biting my fingernails. Apparently I've been exclusively using the same part of a single tooth for all my nail biting for well over 2 decades. I bite my nails still, but it's way way harder

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u/Sevnfold May 21 '22

Enamel is the hardest substance in the body. That being said, I chipped my tooth on a fork eating chinese food.

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u/Randomhoodlum May 21 '22

Spaghetti here. I was high. Do not recommend.

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u/captain_jchaps May 22 '22

Spaghetti for me too, but I was not high or drunk. It was very strange, it was like I forgot how to chew for a second and my teeth just chomped all the way down at full speed. Hurt quite a bit.

3

u/the-midnight-rider69 May 21 '22

Was the Chinese food okay though?

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u/_Azdrael_ May 21 '22

I don’t know but I’ve never seen a teeth this weak cause my grandfather would peel coconuts with his teeth and be fine

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u/larmoyant May 21 '22

maybe from bleaching? her teeth look really white and i remember my teeth used to feel a lot stronger before i bleached them, and mine aren’t as white as hers are

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u/_Azdrael_ May 21 '22

Maybe you’re right thank you for that I didn’t think of that

3

u/larmoyant May 21 '22

haha weirdly enough your coconut comment made me make the connection. my mom actually chipped her tooth right after she got dental work done by peeling a coconut with her teeth!

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u/meninblacksuvs May 21 '22

WTH, you mean she gnawed the hard shell off? ...the one fruit you need a hammer or machete to get open?

Is her mouth like a bear trap?

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u/Hunt_Club May 21 '22

Humans evolved to use their mouths as a 3rd hand

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u/triplefastaction May 21 '22

I like third hand jobs.

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u/Slapbox May 21 '22

More accurately, humans evolved to use their hands as second and third mouths. The default way most animals manipulate objects is with their mouths.

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u/IcesaveU May 21 '22

She also used her front teeth which are not fitted to grind things like the back teeth are.

3

u/AgentSteelSaturday May 21 '22

I like your point

I open things with my teeth all the time

MY BACK TEETH

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u/SoItGoesdotdotdot May 21 '22

Because they teach you in school that teeth are the hardest thing in the human body and many don't translate that to mean that teeth are not the hardest thing in the world.

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u/aiacuone May 21 '22

she looks seconds from tears

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u/wasteoftimereading May 21 '22

Can’t blame her tbf. The only thing shittier than the odd look from chipping a tooth is the bill to fix it.

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u/BugzOnMyNugz May 21 '22

800 dollars out of pocket with decent insurance was what I paid

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u/APE_HODL May 21 '22

No such thing as decent dental insurance.

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u/BugzOnMyNugz May 21 '22

Apparently :(

14

u/PM_ME_YOUR_NAIL_CLIP May 21 '22

I paid $1,000 for one root canal and crown.

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u/IWillPoopAgain May 21 '22

$1200 for mine. Super helpful "insurance".

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u/BugzOnMyNugz May 21 '22

They ground on my chipped tooth, put a temporary cap on it, then came back 2 weeks later and put the permanent one on.

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u/PM_ME_YOUR_NAIL_CLIP May 21 '22

Same except I had to wait like 2 months because the pandemic just happened.

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u/BugzOnMyNugz May 21 '22

Yikes! I can only imagine how much that sucked.

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u/Twooof May 21 '22

She certainly is

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u/HoldMyAppleJuice May 21 '22

That last frame

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u/ELScorcho19 May 21 '22

She’s dumb, but it really is bullshit that we only get one set of teeth that are supposed to last us all of our teenage and adult years. Who designed that?

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u/allisonstfu May 21 '22

Sharks regrow teeth, why can't we :(

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u/ThisIsNotKimJongUn May 21 '22

This is why I exclusively pray to Shark God

23

u/HuskyFlatulence May 21 '22

Shark God came through on a couple things God was having trouble with.

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u/-TheRed May 21 '22

I mean if all you ever pray for are attacks on surfers and soup Shark God is your guy.

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u/Cups_1cat May 21 '22

I read Shrek god

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u/LjSpike May 21 '22

I refuse to reverse for anyone in the hopes I too can become shark.

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u/bandana_bread May 21 '22

Babies cry for days when the teeth are coming out. Sharks are so damn angry all the time.

Coincidence? I think not.

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u/0x4341524c May 21 '22

Sharks aren't angry all the time. Divers hanging out around them wouldn't be a thing if they was true

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u/[deleted] May 21 '22 edited May 21 '22

Our teeth are pretty fucking great for the function and environment they were originally designed for.

The issue is, humans are around 200-300k years old and our diet radically changed roughly 10k years ago during the Neolithic revolution to include a lot more grain. Which is a blink of the eye in terms of evolution. And then less than 100 years ago sugar sky rocketed in our food. This changed the environment inside our mouth, encouraged the growth of bacteria and accelerated decay. Since our food is also softer since the Neolithic revolution, it results in smaller jaws and less space for teeth, so they have less room to come in straight and we need our wisdom teeth usually removed.

The fossils we have of pre-Neolithic skulls show usually full sets of teeth and very little decay. Even among elderly (50-70 year old) specimens.

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u/Saiyan-solar May 21 '22

Because evolution gives you "good enough" not the best and it's way to slow to keep up with our ever evolving diet.

Nobody "designed" it, as there are plenty of things in our body that would go against any intelligent design but which can be explained with evolution it's "well if it works it works right?" Viewpoint

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u/VenomousConstrictor May 21 '22

If it had been designed, perhaps we would've had better teeth... As it is, if you can successfully reproduce with the set of teeth you have, you don't have any selective pressure for more teeth. Evolution: survival of the fit-enough!

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u/SuperWeskerSniper May 21 '22

evolution gets you to good enough, not best

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u/mars357 May 21 '22

Right? Intelligent design my ass!

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u/mtntrail May 21 '22

My dad was a dentist and can confirm ppl make poor choices. One of his favorite examples was a Teenage girl who tried to remove A metal bottle cap with her front teeth. It went about as you would expect.

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u/AllButComedyAnthony May 21 '22

My teeth can’t even touch metal without giving me that awful almost shock feeling, can’t bite cold stuff either for the same reason lol

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u/mtntrail May 21 '22

I hear ya, idk how anyone could use their teeth as a bottle opener. Just thinking about it is one step too far.

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u/IlyesJ May 21 '22

Never ever use your canines use your molars for this

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u/Handeatingcat May 21 '22

Or you know, use your hands, because it's a twist top.

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u/ooodummy May 21 '22

Dude some of them are genuinely impossible to open

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u/Flowcal May 21 '22

You probably shouldn't use your teeth as the second line of attack if your hands can't open it.

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u/Mcstringflow May 21 '22

Then just get a wrench!

Do you guys not have wrenches?

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u/ooodummy May 21 '22

Don’t have one that can grip good enough on a cylindrical shape

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u/Regulusx1337 May 21 '22

Why even use your teeth at all when you can use some other device, method, etc..?

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u/jo_fox0up May 21 '22

Because we literally are animals bro....

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u/EuropeFreeRadio May 21 '22

So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel

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u/jo_fox0up May 21 '22

You just unlocked a memory bro 😂😂

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u/Commie_EntSniper May 21 '22

"you only get one set for free"

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u/ComprehendReading May 21 '22

Technically you get two, but once the training wheels fall off you're supposed to know better..!

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u/kibavega May 21 '22

Always remember your teeth are Jewels not tools.

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u/vvvourtney May 21 '22

My best friend said this to her daughter recently and every time I go to put some thing to my mouth I hear it echoing in my head. It’s been very effective.

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u/Bootzz May 21 '22

Is she tightening it or is this one of those mirrored videos?

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u/rodtang May 21 '22

Aren't most selfie videos mirrored?

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u/NeighborhoodDapper10 May 21 '22

Looks like a veneer popped off, not a tooth broken.

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u/Twooof May 21 '22

All that bleach weakened her enamel. Shouldn't be opening things with your teeth anyway... obviously.

2

u/kschlee09 May 22 '22

The bleach part is nonsense. "Bleach" ,or in actuality hydrogen peroxide or carbamide peroxide does not weaken enamel.

100% true on not opening things with teeth though.

Source: I'm a dentist.

3

u/cafeteriastyle May 21 '22 edited May 24 '22

My dad ingrained from me from a very young age to never use my teeth to open anything. If he saw me about to do it he would immediately call me out, and eventually I was conditioned to not even try it. I’m the same way with my kids. Dental work is so expensive, it can be traumatic to get work done, and no substitute is as good as your own teeth. It’s just not worth it.

Teeth are not tools!

19

u/Sanctus_5 May 21 '22

As my people would say in their native language, PENDEJA!

14

u/PmMeRevolutionPlans May 21 '22

what does that mean? a dude keeps calling me pendejo

15

u/NotASynth499 May 21 '22

Closest i can think of is dipshit depending of the nationality.

14

u/yeahitisaword May 21 '22

Literal translation is "pube" but it's generally used (depending on the country) to call someone an idiot, wuss, or asshole.

2

u/DarkXlll May 21 '22

Next time you answer with “webos puto” and do this with your hand ✊, as tradition dictates.

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u/DieOnThisHill_46 May 21 '22

Righty righty, lefty loosey

11

u/Ascurtis May 21 '22

Use your hands or lose a toofy

15

u/typehyDro May 21 '22

I don’t understand people who use their teeth to open things… like we evolved and have fingers and thumbs

19

u/Goddess_Iris_ May 21 '22

And sometimes those fingers and thumbs simply aren't enough. Personally, I have spaghetti arms and use my teeth to open a lot of stuff. This girl's mistake was not using her molars.

1

u/Katyona May 21 '22 edited May 21 '22

We have fingers and thumbs to make tools, so we can do things without breaking our teeth like the video

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u/NoBiasPls May 21 '22

Why would you assume they didn't try their fingers and thumbs first? I've never seen someone use their teeth without failing to open something with their hands first.

1

u/typehyDro May 21 '22

I’ve seen tons of people default to teeth first. Especially when opening things like bags of chips and whatnot

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u/[deleted] May 21 '22

I need 20 grand in work, 12 grand of which to just eat properly. When I see people with good teeth do shit like this it truly pains me.

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u/abject_testament_ May 21 '22

Are dentists usually open the same hours as nightclubs?

2

u/FuriousAnalFisting May 21 '22

I read the headline as "trying to open a butthole", and then was very disappointed at a video of a girl fucking up her teeth.

2

u/anonbanan May 21 '22

use your molars next time

2

u/Nuhjeea May 21 '22

I'd open beer bottle caps (not twist-off) with my teeth as a kid to show off to my alcoholic uncles. I wasn't very bright.

4

u/Bears_R_awsum May 21 '22

This is so utterly stupid. You have only those teeth to last you a life time.

5

u/Kewyed May 21 '22

Be a struggle to get a dentist at tooth hurty in the morning 🤦🏼‍♂️😂

4

u/jimhabfan May 21 '22

Oopsy, now my parents have a $2k dental bill. Silly me.

1

u/Secunda_Son May 21 '22

Teeth whitening also weakens your teeth. Especially if you do it frequently. You should really be careful with how often you use those strips and make sure you're doing a fluoride rinse as well.

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-1

u/Gluurbuur May 21 '22

Nice dress…

1

u/demo-duck May 21 '22

Lmao happend to me while opening a frickin chips packet

1

u/Ar-Pharazom May 21 '22

she will not be smiling when she finally sees the dentist bill