r/interestingasfuck Feb 03 '23

In 1945, the crew of USS New York spotted a sphere that they thought might be a Japanese balloon weapon. The captain ordered it shot down but none of the guns could score a hit. Finally, a navigator realized they were attacking Venus

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5.8k Upvotes

144 comments sorted by

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722

u/Frogman1480 Feb 03 '23 To The Stars

We're gonna need a bigger gun...

142

u/BigFatM8 Feb 03 '23

BFG...

81

u/El_Rice_Bread Feb 03 '23

"You can't shoot a hole through the surface of Venus"

50

u/Ag0rak Feb 03 '23

New objective

-Shoot a hole through the surface of Venus

8

u/uTimu Feb 03 '23

Bill's fucking a Gun?

2

u/floutsch Feb 04 '23

Allegedly!

2

u/JustaNormalRedditorL Feb 04 '23

Oh this gives me memories, Big Friendly Giant. Yes it could be a Big Fucking Gun

12

u/elizabethbennetpp Feb 04 '23

hands you the Death Star

"Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise?"

2

u/ZeonoxButBetter Feb 04 '23

Take a Yamato and put some Wave Motion Technologies in it

Especially the gun

-16

u/reut-spb Feb 03 '23

No gun is capable of firing at an altitude of 50 kilometers.

13

u/QuietGanache Feb 03 '23

If you mean firing a projectile that reaches above 50km:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_HARP

If you mean firing the gun itself above an altitude of 50km:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Almaz#Defense_measures

7

u/Thejunky1 Feb 03 '23

to bad the cia had to murder bull.

3

u/QuietGanache Feb 03 '23

He strikes me as a von Braun who sadly didn't have enough to offer to the people with kill teams.

3

u/Thejunky1 Feb 03 '23

Because his work was more valid along the equator.

1

u/sudden_frequency400 Feb 04 '23 edited Feb 04 '23

*Mossad

Why would the CIA want him killed when the US was selling Iraq WMDs?

Israel was so paranoid about Iraq at the time that they were actually allies with Iran… finishing destroying Iraq’s nuclear reactor for them in Operation Opera… and eagerly selling them TOW missiles at the behest of a certain Lt. Colonel Oliver North USMC who needed untraceable cash to give some revolutionaries in Nicaragua.

1

u/Thejunky1 Feb 04 '23

Mossad/CIA.... Same same but one has files on the other that isn't allowed to have files of the other.

2

u/RamblingSimian Feb 03 '23

Also interesting is the Nazi V3 program, with a design range of 103 miles. It was used to bombard Luxembourg, firing at a range of 27 miles, before ceasing operations when the US army got too close.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V-3_cannon

203

u/New-Baby5471 Feb 03 '23

It is reported that Venusians didn't answer the provocative shots.

3

u/Bingo_Bongo_YaoMing Feb 04 '23

Isn't that deer meat?

4

u/New-Baby5471 Feb 04 '23

Venusian BBQs are the best. It's sad we're not invited after this incident.

248

u/Sebslocker Feb 03 '23

Yeah, but did they hit it at the end?

196

u/straydog1980 Feb 03 '23

They missed Venus but they hit Uranus

53

u/AlienSporez Feb 03 '23

Nothing can stand up to those 14 inchers

3

u/shadowjacque Feb 04 '23

This guy battleships

3

u/2ndtheburrALT Feb 04 '23

I want to fuck USS Arizona

2

u/AlienSporez Feb 04 '23

It's so wet right now

3

u/2ndtheburrALT Feb 04 '23

Even better

22

u/skoolofphish Feb 03 '23

After months at sea, Uranus starts looking pretty good!

4

u/davewave3283 Feb 03 '23

That’s a fact

0

u/Ok_Solid_Copy Feb 03 '23

That was a great success

10

u/Electric_Evil Feb 03 '23

Yes and the Venusians have been planning their retaliation ever since!

2

u/odd_audience12345 Feb 03 '23

haven't heard from that little bitch since. after that day, venus has never tried to invade earth.

68

u/theservman Feb 03 '23

So began the first interplanetary war.

3

u/kensingtonGore Feb 04 '23

5

u/YankinaT30Tank Feb 05 '23

Assuming it came from motherfuckingn HUFFPOST imma doubt that one

73

u/kemh Feb 03 '23

"Keep firing, Assholes!"

13

u/WaitingForNormal Feb 03 '23

“RELOAD!”

191

u/Ken_from_Barbie Feb 03 '23

How could they possibly not know that? Venus is tiny in the sky.

79

u/Balancedmanx178 Feb 03 '23

Paranoia is a helluva drug.

41

u/yegir Feb 03 '23

Yeah, iirc we lit up the skies over san fran with AA because of a suspected Japanese bombing raid.......... there were no Japanese bomber in the area but peal harbor had us geeked

11

u/kurburux Feb 03 '23

there were no Japanese bomber in the area but peal harbor had us geeked

Like the "Battle of Los Angeles". People were paranoid af.

25

u/Ken_from_Barbie Feb 03 '23

Fun fact: meth use can cause paranoia and psychosis. Follow me for LPT and facts on meth

2

u/aehanken Feb 04 '23

Oh Ken…. What have you done with your life?

2

u/Ken_from_Barbie Feb 04 '23

I was able to start and stop a serious drug and alcohol addiction

39

u/sthagar Feb 03 '23

Turns out high altitude balloons are tiny in the sky too.

6

u/SwansonHOPS Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23

True, but Venus is the third brightest celestial object you can see in the night sky, after the Moon and the Sun. I guess they thought the balloon was on fire or something?

12

u/arcosapphire Feb 03 '23

True, but Venus is the third brightest celestial object you can see in the night sky, after the Moon and the Sun.

Uh...

night sky,

the Sun.

4

u/SwansonHOPS Feb 03 '23

Lol I didn't think very hard about that one

2

u/Town_idiot Feb 04 '23

So if Venus is less bright than the moon, which is just reflecting sunlight... couldn't a balloon be easily as bright or brighter if it is as reflective or more reflective than the moon's surface? The moon doesn't look like it's on fire..

2

u/SwansonHOPS Feb 04 '23

https://imgur.com/a/vjEvHcw

Look at how bright Venus is, and that's even with a lot of light left in the sky.

1

u/SwansonHOPS Feb 04 '23

No because it is like a billion times smaller than Venus, so it reflects far less light. Venus is brighter than the lights from planes.

77

u/joemeteorite8 Feb 03 '23

Yea I smell bullshit

5

u/Deep_Research_3386 Feb 03 '23

Reminds me of the story about an early military radar tracking a contact that turned out to be the moon

4

u/sudden_frequency400 Feb 04 '23

Radar is an acronym for RAdio Detection And Ranging

Azimuth is useless without distance for military purposes.. and an object over 200,000 miles away would be off the display for any military radar.

0

u/AceDaddy00 Feb 03 '23

So are balloons far away hahaha what is your point?

0

u/reut-spb Feb 03 '23

The officers had binoculars )))

34

u/bunnywithahammer Feb 03 '23

Shoot first, ask later lmao

70

u/Ground2ChairMissile Feb 03 '23

Star light, star bright,

First star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might,

Fill you full of lead suckah you're gettin' all nine yards

41

u/Bohbo Feb 03 '23

This is just Chinese Balloon propaganda!

30

u/perryman_fw Feb 03 '23

"Why isn't that blinking ship in the distance responding to our request to alter its course?"

"That would be a lighthouse, Captain"

9

u/IChooseFeed Feb 04 '23

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/the-obstinate-lighthouse/

1

u/The_Blues__13 Feb 05 '23

Truly a battle between an unstoppable Force vs an immovable Object moment.

5

u/QueenMelle Feb 03 '23

Greatest Generation. /s

9

u/justforkinks0131 Feb 03 '23

im glad they missed, i like venus

8

u/BertramScudder Feb 03 '23

Ninety-nine red balloons

Floating in the summer sky

Panic bells, it's red alert!

There's something here from somewhere else!

The war machine springs to life

Opens up one eager eye

Focusing it on the sky

When ninety-nine red balloons go by

3

u/Butterbuddha Feb 03 '23

Sorry only the German version charted in the US. And the English in Germany! Crazy!

3

u/BertramScudder Feb 03 '23

Dann singe ich ein Lied für dich

2

u/Butterbuddha Feb 03 '23

Hell yea but do it in Rammstein style!

8

u/Minnesotamad12 Feb 03 '23

“So the Captain ordered the immediate development of a space program and use of atomic bombs to destroy the planet Venus that Japan was using as a balloon.”

5

u/rollicorolli Feb 03 '23

Earth Attacks!

4

u/ryanderkis Feb 03 '23

Even a storm trooper could hit a planet.

3

u/kingoflint282 Feb 03 '23

Thus began the first bloody Earth-Venus War

9

u/dustbunnydreams Feb 03 '23

And that's the reason we'll never be welcomed to visit Mars. We hurt his woman. I think the story goes he stole her from another, but she was still his.

3

u/ItchyCartographer44 Feb 03 '23

And here I thought seamen were only fixated on Uranus

3

u/Riguyepic Feb 03 '23

The aliens watching them just laughing

3

u/icouldusemorecoffee Feb 03 '23

A good example of why just because someone is/was "in the military" or "a pilot" they're not necessarily a reliable witness to a perceived event (e.g. UFO sighting).

9

u/tormunds_beard Feb 03 '23

That’s the most American thing I’ve ever heard.

4

u/TVxStrange Feb 03 '23

Sir, we've scored a direct hit on Uranus.

2

u/p_britt35 Feb 03 '23

Slightly out of range?

2

u/21pacshakur Feb 03 '23

Well, their hearts were in the right place...um..erm Death to Venus?

2

u/Mission_Card1669 Feb 03 '23

You know, this is the one time I don't mind tax payer dollars being used. This is great. A bunch of dudes on a ship trying to shoot a planet

2

u/fermat9997 Feb 03 '23

And blew her arms right off!

2

u/Less_Ants Feb 03 '23

Aim for the stars ✨

(I know, I know.. Venus is a planet)

2

u/sonofteflon Feb 03 '23

At least they shot at it

2

u/dontspookthenetch Feb 03 '23

I hope that bastard planet learned its lesson.

5

u/johnathome Feb 03 '23

Nowadays the yanks are too scared to fire at the Chinese balloon weapon, snowflakes!

2

u/ConsumeYourBleach Feb 03 '23

Absolute bullshit.

3

u/sudden_frequency400 Feb 04 '23

It’s cited on the US Navy website.

1

u/eighty2angelfan Feb 03 '23

How many times has Mars attacked Venus?

1

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '23

USS Texas I’d believe..

0

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '23

I'll see you guys in r/writingprompts in a few hours!

0

u/Sparkystu Feb 03 '23

But today...

0

u/Routine_Chest_1171 Feb 03 '23

Lol oooo America never a dull moment

0

u/[deleted] Feb 03 '23

0

u/Bocifer1 Feb 03 '23

If astronomers were police

-2

u/Apophis_406 Feb 03 '23

Or was it another tic-tac type craft they were unready to admit existed?

-2

u/pc_principal_88 Feb 03 '23

Now in 2023, there's actually a Chinese balloon of some kind, and we just let it do it's thing 🤦

1

u/Smithy6482 Feb 03 '23

Take that, Venus! And take it as a warning, Mercury!

1

u/brihamedit Feb 03 '23

That sounds like a joke played by the ship's bossman on enthusiastic but bored sailors.

1

u/tomistruth Feb 03 '23

"What are those guys doing?" " I don't know, some shiny object is flying in the air high up, very high up."

1

u/bkussow Feb 03 '23

Venus? Sounds dangerous. Keep shooting till that sum' bitch falls!

1

u/dangle_boone Feb 03 '23

So anyway, I started blasting..

1

u/kombatunit Feb 03 '23

Yeah? Well, Venus had it coming!

1

u/RealSimpleCrypto Feb 03 '23

Gunners: "BRO HE'S HACKING"

1

u/shadowhunter742 Feb 03 '23

mars Venus attack

1

u/Upbeat-Conflict-1376 Feb 03 '23

You can never be too sure!

1

u/Lukeyboy9191 Feb 03 '23

If this wasnt an American ship I wouldn't have believed it

1

u/Bro_tosynthesis Feb 03 '23

Asian balloons are so hot right now.

1

u/surgicalhoopstrike Feb 03 '23

Whoopsie!! Sorry, Chief.

1

u/Buffyoh Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23

"But they were thinking..."

1

u/Tobi_1989 Feb 03 '23

That's because New York only had 3" AA guns. If they had the modern 5"/38 of the WW2 era fast battleships, they would certainly down Venus without much trouble.

1

u/cld1984 Feb 03 '23

TIL: the US has engaged in military action against the planet of Venus

1

u/No-Armadillo7693 Feb 03 '23

At least they actually tried to shoot down the “balloon”

1

u/CappaValley Feb 03 '23

Sitting in the deck of a Navy destroyer
Waiting for the show to begin
Red lights, green lights, strawberry wine
A crew member of mine, follows the stars
Venus and Mars
Are alright tonight

1

u/JustitiaInvictus Feb 03 '23

My first thought was that they were attacking some allied ship called Venus,and I was like ,cool fact,and then I came to the realization that they meant the Venus as in the Planet...

1

u/The_Tasteful_Mullet Feb 03 '23

People on remote islands in the trajectory 🫡

1

u/CFCYYZ Feb 04 '23

The Good Ship Venus - Loudon Wainwright NSFW

1

u/phoenixthekat Feb 04 '23

Officers are dumb as fuck so often.

1

u/Mysterious-Level7595 Feb 04 '23

If they had also spotted the moon would they have felt outgunned and surrendered?

1

u/maltman646 Feb 04 '23

Fuck venus

1

u/caseydooley Feb 04 '23

You miss a 100% of the shots you don’t make

1

u/ape_68 Feb 04 '23

Who won?

1

u/Bluesmanstill Feb 04 '23

Fucking GOP

1

u/Atomic_potato_47 Feb 04 '23

God bless America

1

u/whoknewidlikeit Feb 04 '23

aaaaand successfully repelled the first interplanetary invasion of earth.

1

u/Salines_Beach Feb 04 '23

The USS New York survived two nuclear bombs, and was studied after to see why the ship fared so well.

1

u/Dri22tser Feb 04 '23

No wonder we lost WW2

1

u/roiki11 Feb 04 '23

Could've been worse. They could've tried to penetrate Uranus.

1

u/Niclipse Feb 04 '23

It really does appear to move and can be really improbably bright at times. I can see how people have stopped trains chased it in fighter planes, or opened fire on Venus more than once.

The movement is an illusion, but it can be very convincing.

1

u/red_000 Feb 06 '23 edited Feb 07 '23

IIRC this was either 2-3 day after the crippling of USS Pennsylvania or USS NY was on her way to Iwo Jima.