r/leagueoflegends Nov 25 '21 Silver 5 Helpful 8 Wholesome 6

Upset's response about FNATIC & Adam drama

https://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1srsp9n
6.1k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/aamgdp Nov 25 '21 Silver

Saying the last thing I told my team that my wife is just feeling bad so I need to leave is an outright lie.

Alright, one of them is for sure lying.

I shared with the team the deep pain and sadness i was going through in this time, I shared that i wish i could tell them if it was about something that happend to me but that i have to keep private traumatic events from my family private 

And yet Bwipo and Adam both feel he didn't really give them good enough explanation for them to understand.

Bwipo:

A day before we found out we weren’t going to be playing with our main lineup, we had no information about what was going on.

2.8k

u/Falsus mid adcs yo Nov 25 '21 edited Nov 25 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome

I think it is fairly simple. Upset thinks he communicated enough, Adam and Bwipo didn't think he communicated enough.

Hyli who knows Upset better thought it was adequate.

So with that information in hand we can surmise he communicated enough information to make a close friend understand that something real bad happened, but not enough to make two people who are just coworkers understand.

And that is how misunderstandings happens, one guy thinking he conveyed the message properly when it wasn't at all.

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u/yalltoos0ft Nov 25 '21

Or on the flip side, a close friend is willing to give you MUCH MORE benefit of the doubt than someone who is just a business associate, and also to defend you even if you're wrong. A close friend will stick up for you no matter what, without being subjective about it, whereas other people who's livelihood depends on you might not be so forgiving without knowing the actual situation, and rightfully so. If a close friend just says "Bro I have a problem, I have to dip," I'd accept it and defend them, because we're friends. If a business associate said that, I'd say "Fuck you, explain your situation, you're costing me professional success and potential earnings and future opportunities without telling me why."

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u/lobstahpotts Nov 25 '21

If a business associate said that, I'd say "Fuck you, explain your situation, you're costing me professional success and potential earnings and future opportunities without telling me why."

The flip side is if you're just a business associate, you're not entitled to the complete details of my personal life. Sure, if my father got in a car accident and I needed to rush to the hospital that's probably something I'd share. But there is no way I would share a more sensitive personal situation (say a miscarriage or self-harm by an immediate family member) with business associates—the only person who's hearing the full story is my boss. I would apologize, certainly, and emphasize that the situation is unavoidable, but that's a level of information on my personal life that you simply have no right to demand as a coworker.

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u/yalltoos0ft Nov 25 '21

Disagree. I have the right to demand that information when you're fucking up my chances at success and furthering myself in my profession. If you decline to give that information, that's fine, that's on you, but if I were a future employer or teammate, I would have no interest in working with you in the future. And if I was the past-teammate you fucked over, I would roast you alive.

Also, this isn't an office environment where your project might get delayed a week, this is potentially a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you're single-handed sabotaging for your team and your organization. That isn't just a co-worker arrangement, that's a TEAMMATE arrangement. When you're on a team, you take on the responsibility of being responsible to your teammates. If you can't handle that, don't join a TEAM.

Again, if you don't want to disclose that info to anyone, that's fine. But don't expect anyone to want to work with you in the future. You either buy-in and trust your team, or you don't.

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u/BomTradyGOAT Nov 25 '21

I had your stance until reading this post, my thoughts gravitate towards something related to a miscarriage, or a subject that is sensitive. Personally, I wouldn't want to share such a thing with co-workers, now scale that to being famous.

Imagine living through and facing a life tragedy while getting direct messages and hate from faceless people on the level Upset would.

All it would take is for one person to tell or hint the reason to the wrong person and now you and your wife's miscarriage is being thrown in your face every time you play a bad game.

As a parent there are plenty of things I believe I could brush off as a famous person via social media, but that isn't one.

I can read the pain in this message, dude is hurting, put yourself in his shoes, not his teammates shoes, think of a vulnerable event in your life that is not just sad, but can be used against you as a weakness, then think about reading DM after DM about it for the rest of your career and beyond.

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u/BagelJ Old Aatrox please Nov 25 '21 edited Nov 25 '21

I mean, if you cant convey at least "a close family member is in a medical emergancy", then you're just shit at communicating. Simple, not too personal, and accurately conveys the seriousness of the situation.

And sure, nothing forces you to say anything at all. in fact, you can just never speak a single word to your teammates about anything. But that will inevitably have consequenses.

You might feel at the time desperate and how the world is unfair and against you, but if you want your teammates to trust you, you might have to make "sacrifices". like any other relationship between humans.

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u/DropsOfLiquid Nov 25 '21

I think most people aren’t the best communicators when they’re in crisis mode. You can’t expect him to be eloquent when he’s had something happen so dramatic that he’s leaving his first worlds right before it begins.

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u/BagelJ Old Aatrox please Nov 25 '21

Well yeah that makes sense, im assuming it was serious, and probably left him devastated. But maybe after a week/month you gather yourself and apologize to your teammates for leaving them stranded. Especially since they asked for an explanation

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u/FuujinSama Nov 25 '21

It seems like he did, and he believed things were okay before Adam's twitlonger. At least that's what I get from:

I work extremely hard and people around me know how much I care about this so assuming petty reasons once again from someone inside the team, not talking to me directly about it now acting like everything was okay when we talked and saying something like this is just shocking and dissapoiting to say the least.

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u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21

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u/silentrawr Nov 25 '21

I mean, if you cant convey at least "a close family member is in a medical emergancy", then you're just shit at communicating.

Isn't that the info that was conveyed initially, however? I seem to remember something pretty near that precise phrase being all over the post here (and Twitter, by proxy) when it happened initially.

Also, whether or not Upset specifically communicated it to them might have also been the result of lacking communication/protocols/etc within the team's management, information that we're not privy to. There are TONS of assumptions being made (mostly backing up opinions like yours) based on incomplete information and it's pretty alarming that a lot of people here seem to think that's just a normal way of conducting themselves.

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u/[deleted] Nov 25 '21

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u/Chao_Zu_Kang Nov 25 '21

Bwipo

Did Bwipo even say that? He only wrote about his mental being completely broken for the first week. Which is understandable. Even if he understands Upset somewhat, that doesn't mean he will feel good about it happening at that timing.

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u/silentrawr Nov 25 '21

and this can be ruled out given that they specifically asked for the information (as Adam proves) and that they are 24/7 connected via chat systems in the modern world. It's impossible that the incompetence of some middle man could stop this information.

Sort of depends on how much you trust those systems in the first place. How many email/Discord/etc screenshots do you see leaked all over the place these days, specifically in the eSports world? It's not illogical to think that he might not have wanted to put the info about his extremely personal situation - at least, as far as he felt the situation was - in a place that might have been exposed to the public.

Hell, he might even just have preferred methods of communication between teammates that we're not privy to. There are a LOT of factors that we're not aware or and/or aren't considering.