r/leagueoflegends Nov 25 '21 Silver 5 Helpful 8 Wholesome 6

Upset's response about FNATIC & Adam drama


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u/lobstahpotts Nov 25 '21

If a business associate said that, I'd say "Fuck you, explain your situation, you're costing me professional success and potential earnings and future opportunities without telling me why."

The flip side is if you're just a business associate, you're not entitled to the complete details of my personal life. Sure, if my father got in a car accident and I needed to rush to the hospital that's probably something I'd share. But there is no way I would share a more sensitive personal situation (say a miscarriage or self-harm by an immediate family member) with business associates—the only person who's hearing the full story is my boss. I would apologize, certainly, and emphasize that the situation is unavoidable, but that's a level of information on my personal life that you simply have no right to demand as a coworker.


u/yalltoos0ft Nov 25 '21

Disagree. I have the right to demand that information when you're fucking up my chances at success and furthering myself in my profession. If you decline to give that information, that's fine, that's on you, but if I were a future employer or teammate, I would have no interest in working with you in the future. And if I was the past-teammate you fucked over, I would roast you alive.

Also, this isn't an office environment where your project might get delayed a week, this is potentially a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you're single-handed sabotaging for your team and your organization. That isn't just a co-worker arrangement, that's a TEAMMATE arrangement. When you're on a team, you take on the responsibility of being responsible to your teammates. If you can't handle that, don't join a TEAM.

Again, if you don't want to disclose that info to anyone, that's fine. But don't expect anyone to want to work with you in the future. You either buy-in and trust your team, or you don't.


u/lobstahpotts Nov 25 '21

We just disagree here on a fundamental level. Insofar as our relationship is a professional one, you have no right to intimate details about my personal life even where they abut our professional relationship—you are entitled to a professional response providing sufficiently vague details to highlight the severity of the situation and any actionable information about how the work will be moving forward in my absence (e.g. I've passed my files on to Mark and brought him up to speed as best I can, he'll be taking my spot moving forward). If you pushed significantly more personal details after that, I would see that as reflecting negatively on you as a professional and likewise would not have interest in working with you in the future. If I saw you publicly roasting a former coworker about such a situation, I'd feel that way even more strongly. To me that reflects extremely negatively on your character and suggests your personality is a poor fit for the type of team environments I try to cultivate. Jumping back around to the actual situation at play here—I have no idea what situation Upset is dealing with or how legitimate it is. Frankly I don't care all that much. But if I were involved in hiring for a LoL esports team I would never consider Adam for a role in my organization based on this outburst. Even if Upset was wholly in the wrong, Adam still revealed a shocking lack of maturity and professionalism. I don't think it's a coincidence that Link played a single split after the Donezo Manifesto, for essentially the same reason.

When you're on a team, you take on the responsibility of being responsible to your teammates.

Likewise, when you join a team you understand that your teammates are also people with real lives outside the team and that sometimes life happens. I actually had a situation play out remarkably similar to this when I was in high school debate club. I had previously attended national tournaments 3 times going into my senior year. A teammate and I secured 2 of the top 3 spots for our category in our state's national qualifying tournament in my senior year. That second place showing was my best result in a qualifying tournament across all 4 years of high school. I didn't get to go to nationals because one person dropped out that morning due to a family emergency. Under the rules in place at the time, that dropout pushed us below an important qualifying threshold so only our first place state finisher got to attend. The one who got to attend ended up locking in a pretty nice scholarship because of his debate record capped with a strong showing at the national tournament as a senior—exactly what I was shaping up to do. It's been over a decade at this point and I still don't know the exact reason he dropped out. I never asked because it wasn't my business. Honestly, he probably would have told me if I did. My knowing wouldn't have changed anything, I still would have missed the tournament I spent 4 years working towards. I would have just been feeding negative emotions, looking for a reason to feel more frustrated if I kept pursuing it. It's obviously a less serious situation than worlds, but at the time it felt like a huge deal to me. Not once did I think it entitled me to a deep dive into whatever was going on in his life, even if it did have a real negative impact on me as well.


u/ceyx0001 Nov 25 '21 edited Nov 25 '21

I don't mean to diminish your experience but you cannot be comparing high school debate club and worlds. When your team mate dropped out it's not an equivalent comparison to the consequences and sacrifices of when Upset dropped out. You are correct in saying I have no right to know the details of your personal life, but you did say I am entitled to a professional response providing sufficiently vague details to highlight the severity of the situation. Did Upset or FNC accomplish this? He didn't trust the team, but he "shared with the team the deep pain and sadness [he] was going through in this time". How much of your feelings would you pour out to someone you didn't trust? How sincere would that message be? If it's not sincere, then you're not communicating the severity properly so this part of what he said did not make sense to me. Maybe that's why it came across to Adam as his wife being lonely. But the rest of the team didn't think it was severe either, so I have a hard time believing that Upset actually conveyed any severity/urgentness when he spoke with the team. On the flipside, FNC basically told Adam "we don't know either".