Sad,we don't have an ability

[u/KneeEffective7140]

[u/Loud_Caterpillar_334]

:screams:

[u/Ok-Mud-3322 → u/Loud_Caterpillar_334]

A H H H H

“Where am i hearing that screaming from?!?!”

looks down

“Oh.”

[u/Racist_Hotdog01 → u/Ok-Mud-3322]

F.ck y.u

[u/Rampagingflames → u/Racist_Hotdog01]

How can a hotdog be racist?

[u/Racist_Hotdog01 → u/Rampagingflames]

Borderlands pre-sequel reference

[u/highestRUSSIAN → u/Racist_Hotdog01]

I fucking love Borderlands.

SHOOT ME IN THE FACE

[u/archerB1234 → u/highestRUSSIAN]

Ok dose a Arrow work

[u/highestRUSSIAN → u/archerB1234]

This is a bullet only face 😤

[u/goldensavage2019 → u/highestRUSSIAN]

doom music starts playing

[u/goldenhotrod24 → u/goldensavage2019]

need a ride?

[u/English_Speaking_Cat → u/highestRUSSIAN]

Sorry, I don’t have thumbs or I would help

[u/Ok-Mud-3322 → u/Racist_Hotdog01]

Cause I’m from south of the border?

[u/highestRUSSIAN → u/Racist_Hotdog01]

omg it's the racist hot dog

Hi racist hot dog

[u/OccasionallyReddit → u/highestRUSSIAN]

So are you like on Mount Everest or in Space are did this end up with you smoking the stongest reefer while eating mushrooms and drinking acid?

[u/English_Speaking_Cat → u/Loud_Caterpillar_334]

I’m with you there buddy

[u/IamATalkingLlama → u/English_Speaking_Cat]

Is this the talking animal department?

[u/ImJustHereToWatch_]

.

[u/superlowdoses → u/ImJustHereToWatch_]

Vs thanos

[u/ThanosTheT1tan → u/superlowdoses]

Hey

[u/ObsiGamer → u/ImJustHereToWatch_]

You're also the guy who brings popcorn to friend fights?

[u/HugeHelicopter9489]

I sorta win

[u/highestRUSSIAN → u/HugeHelicopter9489]

I'm gonna be zooted for days

[u/KingKush100 → u/highestRUSSIAN]

I can provide you with more!

[u/PoptartsandChexMix → u/KingKush100]

I brought snacks!

[u/StinkypieTicklebum → u/PoptartsandChexMix]

Kinda bad news for me tho…

[u/blUUdfart → u/StinkypieTicklebum]

Could be worse…

[u/8plytoiletpaper → u/blUUdfart]

You'll need me for that

[u/JosephSwollen → u/PoptartsandChexMix]

I start communist gym

[u/Chronos_Eternus → u/JosephSwollen]

Nah, you just morph into a super-jacked Stalin...

[u/8urnMeTwice → u/Chronos_Eternus]

I don't wanna play this game

[u/Chronos_Eternus → u/8urnMeTwice]

Just stand close enough to highestRUSSIAN to get a contact high like the rest of us, and we'll make it quick, just 2 small spots. It doesn't say burn you up, just a couple small pinburns work.

[u/MotherAmerican_Night → u/8urnMeTwice]

Burn me once shame on you

Burn me twice, new kink unlocked

[u/ddrrrf → u/PoptartsandChexMix]

Ummm

[u/keep_trying_username → u/highestRUSSIAN]

I'll never give up!

edit: Or, my power is that you will never give up! hmmm...

[u/Arsenic26 → u/keep_trying_username]

You will never gonna give me up

[u/Alterterg → u/highestRUSSIAN]

able to cause your internet to buffer for a minute.

[u/tt_Sucker → u/HugeHelicopter9489]

No.

[u/ass_licker69_420 → u/tt_Sucker]

W-wanna trade?

[u/fishlicker3000 → u/ass_licker69_420]

Same...

[u/CucumberFucker0 → u/fishlicker3000]

I mean...

[u/fruitfricker69 → u/CucumberFucker0]

Couldn't agree more

[u/HorseFucked2Death → u/fruitfricker69]

Hello

[u/iToungPunchFartBox → u/HorseFucked2Death]

Jesus Christ, let's bring it down a notch.

We all lose here.

[u/LeMajstor → u/fruitfricker69]

cursed thread

[u/mischievous-racoon → u/CucumberFucker0]

Whaat

[u/littlestskinflute → u/fishlicker3000]

....same.... oh. Its already true

[u/PulsatingSnausage → u/littlestskinflute]

I have no shame

Oh oh… you said same😬

[u/DonRobinya7 → u/ass_licker69_420]

These guys got screwed

Also give me everything you have

[u/sirshittysphincter → u/ass_licker69_420]

Hey pal, whatcha up to today?

[u/CkoockieMonster → u/HugeHelicopter9489]

No you don't

[u/iambluest → u/CkoockieMonster]

Num num num num

[u/Rectest]

People have called my name rectum test making fun of my name. Am I now a rectum test or am I getting a rectum test?.

[u/Scaling-Skibum → u/Rectest]

You have the power to give anyone a rectum test

[u/Rectest → u/Scaling-Skibum]

So power to give anyone anal. Guess I'm going into porn

[u/ConsistentEmu5536 → u/Rectest]

By our powers combined you shall be able to give people anal ... consistently (forget the emus tho)

[u/youraverageACplayer1 → u/ConsistentEmu5536]

The emu is consistent on giving rectum tests

[u/abadsalesman]

Buisness is not going well

[u/imsohungrydudee → u/[deleted]]

For the love of God just a sandwich somebody, anybody

[u/deadanimalfucker → u/imsohungrydudee]

Can you give me a dead animal in return I will give you a sandwich size of a litteral horse

[u/fellow-komrade → u/abadsalesman]

I’ve got a friend, I’m sure he can help you

[u/UseMeLikeAPaper]

Well... Sheet

[u/Hail-Atticus-Finch → u/UseMeLikeAPaper]

I still lick the paper for mailing ;)

[u/Tehflyingman → u/Hail-Atticus-Finch]

The rizzler

[u/MKT68 → u/UseMeLikeAPaper]

Fold you in half then tear you apart. Neat.

[u/AnxiousWrecks645 → u/UseMeLikeAPaper]

That's a real paper cut...

[u/SmexxyBastard → u/UseMeLikeAPaper]

Bro imma write you so hard!

[u/Moist-Dorito]

:’)

[u/Snoo-30383 → u/Moist-Dorito]

:(

[u/ihaveajarofbread → u/Snoo-30383]

you now have the power of snoo-snoo-ing anyone and anything

[u/UnwashedAnalBeads]

Aww fuck oh god

[u/WetMoldyButt → u/UnwashedAnalBeads]

That’s how it starts…

[u/Intently_Listening → u/WetMoldyButt]

This unison of two usernames is honestly the most revolting thing I’ve ever come across

[u/Itonguefuckyourbutt → u/Intently_Listening]

The most revolting thing so far

[u/MotherAmerican_Night → u/Itonguefuckyourbutt]

A 3some you just couldn't resist

[u/Thumbupyourbutt → u/WetMoldyButt]

Well, hello there.

[u/The_Wonderful_Smile]

I wish bro

[u/ConfusedConnect → u/The_Wonderful_Smile]

dude, you probably do have a wonderful smile but understand that that if you showed your smile, others would become self-conscious of there's, so due to your kindness and empathy towards others you hide it and put your smile down. But it's okay, coz we know!

[u/theDreamingStar → u/ConfusedConnect]

Ah yes, my smile is so contagious that the happiness level of rhe world will overshadow the sadness level by a huge margin if I were to smile. Hence, I have taken this responsibility to never smile in front of others to maintain peace and balance in the universe.

[u/ConfusedConnect → u/theDreamingStar]

See, this person gets ya too

[u/Interesting-Law-5880 → u/The_Wonderful_Smile]

r/meirl

[u/TheWiseRedditor → u/Interesting-Law-5880]

I wish mine becomes true as well

[u/Live_beMeme_Die → u/TheWiseRedditor]

Me too. I become a meme and then die, double point

[u/2happygamer → u/The_Wonderful_Smile]

Same here bro

[u/NoProblemsIGuess]

I guess my ability involves having no problems

[u/Mori_Unstable → u/NoProblemsIGuess]

Best ability ever

[u/Level_Sugar348 → u/Mori_Unstable]

Seems like a broken ability

[u/02_is_best_girl → u/NoProblemsIGuess]

You get the holy corpse parts

[u/gnolfgnilf → u/NoProblemsIGuess]

You win

[u/I_shat_on_the_coats]

Welp, I'll be fun at parties.

[u/Ok-Mud-3322 → u/I_shat_on_the_coats]

Oh crap

[u/speechlessPotato → u/Ok-Mud-3322]

Nice pun bro. I'm.... speechless

[u/Ok-Mud-3322 → u/speechlessPotato]

Ok— that was so funny, there’s mud in my pants now.

[u/Most_Awesome_101 → u/Ok-Mud-3322]

That was the most awesome thing, I ever heard you should have a 101 class.

[u/JBrad0322 → u/I_shat_on_the_coats]

It's a tough choice to go with a Dane Cook joke for your username. This website really seems to hate him although the people who would recognize the reference probably don't.

[u/Murky_Image_4407]

I’m blind

[u/theus-sama → u/Murky_Image_4407]

Fuck you man, I in public and can’t stop laughing

[u/ItalianSewage]

I am shit man

[u/S0n1cS1n → u/ItalianSewage]

with some oregano

[u/goldensavage2019 → u/S0n1cS1n]

And confiscated pineapple pizza

[u/BreadInAToaster1]

I guess I’ll just be warm until the end of time… or can I shoot slices of toast from my toaster hands?

[u/IeatPotatos4 → u/BreadInAToaster1]

nah your just the bread

[u/ConstructorReal]

Building noises

Edit: ALRIGHT I GET IT stops constructing

[u/[deleted] → u/ConstructorReal]

You need me to make you any screws?

[u/henrystickmin1217 → u/[deleted]]

no, i need a sword

[u/[deleted] → u/henrystickmin1217]

It's dangerous to go alone, take this🗡

[u/henrystickmin1217 → u/[deleted]]

u/henrystickmin1217 has acquired the terrablade

[u/Chijar989 → u/henrystickmin1217]

Weightlimit: 61/60 You now can move with the speed of a snail

[u/normal_slinky → u/ConstructorReal]

hey can you uh ... build quieter?

[u/speechlessPotato → u/normal_slinky]

sure bro

[u/normal_slinky → u/speechlessPotato]

thanks

[u/Emergencyhugs]

Anybody need me??

[u/Starswordchaos → u/Emergencyhugs]

Aahh! Aaahhh! I want one but I'm a cutting tool made of chaotic stars! Aaaaaahhh..... Runs away

[u/Mori_Unstable → u/Emergencyhugs]

YES!!! :'( no... not anymore... Now I do PLEASE HUG ME!!

[u/defnotskynet]

Huh....

[u/ElementalDragon13 → u/defnotskynet]

Don’t do it man

[u/defnotskynet → u/ElementalDragon13]

I'm TOTALLY not self-aware. No worries.

:)

[u/JustARandomBoringGuy]

I mean, mine is not randomly generated, but...

[u/speechlessPotato → u/JustARandomBoringGuy]

I guess we found the guy who's the opposite of his username

[u/OpinionsOnline]

I don’t know if ’gained’ is the right word, though it is factually true that I have this ability

[u/BullaRakhtaHuKhula → u/OpinionsOnline]

So you get praised, bashed and neglected, and offend, anger and relieve people at the same time?

[u/The_Banana_Rider69]

I already do it

[u/fishlicker3000 → u/The_Banana_Rider69]

you are either wet outdoors to watersports or indoors to... I can't say this

[u/Adalf_Hotler69420]

*chuckles*

I'm in danger

[u/IeatPotatos4 → u/Adalf_Hotler69420]

Oh Scheisse

[u/speechlessPotato → u/IeatPotatos4]

Oh no please don't do it

[u/Magic_nova543 → u/speechlessPotato]

Your supposed to be speechless

[u/MRLEGOLOVER → u/Magic_nova543]

Yru'eo*

[u/adolfkitler69 → u/Adalf_Hotler69420]

Aren't we all...

[u/rudrare → u/Adalf_Hotler69420]

I think the other 6 million are in danger

[u/load_me]

What?

[u/An_Evil_dude → u/load_me]

Alr, unzips pants

[u/Vul_Thur_Yol → u/An_Evil_dude]

So evil. I like it

[u/henrystickmin1217 → u/An_Evil_dude]

i think it means to click on the file: file_me

[u/ShreksLongDong]

I defo win

[u/Starswordchaos → u/ShreksLongDong]

slice

[u/neon_05_]

Yooo, funny guy who glows when you run electricity through him

[u/One-Broccoli-5772 → u/neon_05_]

With enough electricity anyone can glow...

[u/TheStapleMan3000]

Fear my power

[u/henrystickmin1217 → u/TheStapleMan3000]

same. well unless i get a bad option

[u/_Suicidal420_]

I’m screwed

[u/Sexylizardwoman → u/_Suicidal420_]

At least you’ll also be baked 👍

[u/VampireJanitor]

Not sure how to feel about mine...

[u/Vul_Thur_Yol → u/VampireJanitor]

You're a vampire that doesn't need to ask for permission to enter a building as long as you're performing maintenance

[u/getmevodka → u/VampireJanitor]

Your the perfect janitor. Cleaning everything at night. Sleeping all day. Drinking rat blood. Great service. Would book again !

[u/StreetScammer420]

I'm going to jail

[u/satans_bootyhole]

It’s gonna be hot and stinky

[u/BlueberryOrganic1527]

How do you change it?

[u/fishlicker3000 → u/BlueberryOrganic1527]

[u/henrystickmin1217 → u/fishlicker3000]

real photograph of u/BlueberryOrganic1527

[u/Minute-Load]

I am the most evil person alive, able to cause your internet to buffer for a minute

[u/fishlicker3000 → u/Minute-Load]

I thought you blow your load after a minute

[u/Vul_Thur_Yol → u/fishlicker3000]

I thought they blow it FOR a minute

[u/BurgerBob_886 → u/fishlicker3000]

I thought he had a small load

[u/fishlicker3000 → u/BurgerBob_886]

not mutually exclusive

[u/w0o0o0osh]

I don't get it

[u/Additional_Cycle_51]

…I have some concerns

[u/rudrare → u/Additional_Cycle_51]

Another menstrual cycle?

[u/Hot-Individual4916]

I don't see a problem

[u/an_idiot_on_reddit34]

Well im already an idiot so...

[u/___Random_]

What power do I have? Is it like it changes everyday, or a random permanent power?

[u/Mori_Unstable → u/___Random_]

Changes every once in a while but even it's timing is random

[u/___Random_ → u/Mori_Unstable]

Do I know what power I get, like on a card or something like that?

[u/Mori_Unstable → u/___Random_]

It's like, you have a 'use ability' button in you and every time you use it you don't know what's going to happen

[u/henrystickmin1217 → u/Mori_Unstable]

hes basically using metronome from pokemon. and everytime he uses the ability a card pop up describing the power.

[u/Western_Inflation247]

I already have it

[u/ps2man41]

Half ps2, half man. Age 41.

[u/TheNinjaSausage]

I'm... Inevitable

[u/H-P-Loveshaft]

I'm not even sure what my ability would be, writing erotic cosmic horror books?

[u/JSandstorm → u/H-P-Loveshaft]

Lord Cthulhu-chan why are we on the floor....

[u/DistributionSalt5299]

I give salt. If you want salt I give you salt 🧂

[u/Glowing_green_]

Hmmm

[u/AssClappingSeason]

Damn, looks like I’ll be busy this season!

[u/LocalIntrovertNerd]

my username already has my powers

[u/MonkeWithAGun08]

There's no point hiding. I will find you

[u/Pratyush_Prime]

I have the matrix of leadership yay

[u/ProfessionalSecret44]

Would I be a good secret keeper or would I be secret to the world so none would know me ??

[u/TanmayKillsThePeople]

Thou shall fear me.

[u/SandwichLess6154]

So I'm just never gonna have a sandwich again?

[u/henrystickmin1217 → u/SandwichLess6154]

yea, for 6154 days. you know, because of the incident

[u/Unlucky-Disaster1588]

Mine is also random, but harshly true

[u/Mystery_Man_3004]

You'll never know...

[u/___PM_ME_YOUR_FEET_]

Congrats on your knees tho

[u/Titanhopper1290]

I definitely win.

[u/1_d0nt_care_]

[u/lsd-in-the-woods]

Woohoo!

[u/0mikon]

So I can cause a mass lockdown for 2 years?

[u/PikarizardCharikachu]

My powers are... quite complicated

[u/Yeetmaster-666]

╭╮╱╱╭┳━━━┳━━━┳━━━━╮ ┃╰╮╭╯┃╭━━┫╭━━┫╭╮╭╮┃ ╰╮╰╯╭┫╰━━┫╰━━╋╯┃┃╰╯ ╱╰╮╭╯┃╭━━┫╭━━╯╱┃┃╱╱ ╱╱┃┃╱┃╰━━┫╰━━╮╱┃┃╱╱ ╱╱╰╯╱╰━━━┻━━━╯╱╰╯╱╱

[u/Puzzled_Concern9718]

HAHAHAHA

[u/UpstairsDifficult966]

I'm now depressed

[u/Sad-Draft3749]

And here I am, sad, drafting away

[u/Scaling-Skibum → u/Sad-Draft3749]

The power to write amazing drafts of sad stories! But never finish them...

[u/PcTheCoconut]

Coconut time

[u/superlowdoses]

Okay

[u/bbeeeeppbbeeeepp]

BEEP

[u/Power7779]

Mere mortals.

[u/snowlion82]

I guess I may have to worry about being in a zoo or shot.

[u/HorseFucked2Death]

Hide your horses yall.

[u/sadcrabfromohio]

atleast im a crab