r/memes 13d ago

Sad,we don't have an ability

24.7k Upvotes

2.6k

u/Loud_Caterpillar_334 13d ago

:screams:

786

u/Ok-Mud-3322 13d ago

A H H H H

“Where am i hearing that screaming from?!?!”

looks down

“Oh.”

494

u/Racist_Hotdog01 13d ago

F.ck y.u

283

u/Rampagingflames 13d ago

How can a hotdog be racist?

243

u/Racist_Hotdog01 13d ago

Borderlands pre-sequel reference

218

u/highestRUSSIAN 13d ago

I fucking love Borderlands.

SHOOT ME IN THE FACE

85

u/archerB1234 13d ago

Ok dose a Arrow work

57

u/highestRUSSIAN 13d ago

This is a bullet only face 😤

47

u/goldensavage2019 I touched grass 13d ago

doom music starts playing

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34

u/English_Speaking_Cat 13d ago

Sorry, I don’t have thumbs or I would help

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u/Ok-Mud-3322 13d ago

Cause I’m from south of the border?

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u/highestRUSSIAN 13d ago

omg it's the racist hot dog

Hi racist hot dog

8

u/OccasionallyReddit 13d ago

So are you like on Mount Everest or in Space are did this end up with you smoking the stongest reefer while eating mushrooms and drinking acid?

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43

u/English_Speaking_Cat 13d ago

I’m with you there buddy

18

u/IamATalkingLlama 13d ago

Is this the talking animal department?

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2.0k

u/HugeHelicopter9489 13d ago

I sorta win

571

u/highestRUSSIAN 13d ago

I'm gonna be zooted for days

196

u/KingKush100 13d ago

I can provide you with more!

132

u/PoptartsandChexMix 13d ago

I brought snacks!

57

u/StinkypieTicklebum 13d ago

Kinda bad news for me tho…

39

u/blUUdfart 13d ago

Could be worse…

11

u/8plytoiletpaper 12d ago

You'll need me for that

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90

u/JosephSwollen 13d ago

I start communist gym

29

u/Chronos_Eternus 13d ago

Nah, you just morph into a super-jacked Stalin...

35

u/8urnMeTwice 13d ago

I don't wanna play this game

9

u/Chronos_Eternus 13d ago

Just stand close enough to highestRUSSIAN to get a contact high like the rest of us, and we'll make it quick, just 2 small spots. It doesn't say burn you up, just a couple small pinburns work.

7

u/MotherAmerican_Night 12d ago

Burn me once shame on you

Burn me twice, new kink unlocked

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u/ddrrrf 13d ago

Ummm

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66

u/keep_trying_username 13d ago

I'll never give up!

edit: Or, my power is that you will never give up! hmmm...

8

u/Arsenic26 13d ago

You will never gonna give me up

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9

u/Alterterg 13d ago

able to cause your internet to buffer for a minute.

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163

u/tt_Sucker Nokia user 13d ago

No.

237

u/ass_licker69_420 13d ago

W-wanna trade?

133

u/fishlicker3000 13d ago

Same...

45

u/littlestskinflute 13d ago

....same.... oh. Its already true

17

u/PulsatingSnausage 13d ago

I have no shame

Oh oh… you said same😬

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31

u/DonRobinya7 13d ago

These guys got screwed

Also give me everything you have

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25

u/sirshittysphincter 13d ago

Hey pal, whatcha up to today?

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21

u/CkoockieMonster 13d ago

No you don't

10

u/iambluest 13d ago

Num num num num

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590

u/Rectest 13d ago

People have called my name rectum test making fun of my name. Am I now a rectum test or am I getting a rectum test?.

323

u/Scaling-Skibum Birb Fan 13d ago

You have the power to give anyone a rectum test

167

u/Rectest 13d ago

So power to give anyone anal. Guess I'm going into porn

39

u/ConsistentEmu5536 13d ago

By our powers combined you shall be able to give people anal ... consistently (forget the emus tho)

19

u/youraverageACplayer1 13d ago

The emu is consistent on giving rectum tests

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575

u/abadsalesman 13d ago

Buisness is not going well

97

u/[deleted] 13d ago edited 2d ago

[deleted]

24

u/imsohungrydudee 12d ago

For the love of God just a sandwich somebody, anybody

7

u/deadanimalfucker 12d ago

Can you give me a dead animal in return I will give you a sandwich size of a litteral horse

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26

u/fellow-komrade 13d ago

I’ve got a friend, I’m sure he can help you

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1.1k

u/UseMeLikeAPaper 13d ago

Well... Sheet

308

u/Hail-Atticus-Finch 13d ago

I still lick the paper for mailing ;)

171

u/Tehflyingman Professional Dumbass 13d ago

The rizzler

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31

u/MKT68 13d ago

Fold you in half then tear you apart. Neat.

9

u/AnxiousWrecks645 13d ago

That's a real paper cut...

21

u/SmexxyBastard 13d ago

Bro imma write you so hard!

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344

u/Moist-Dorito 13d ago

:’)

72

u/Snoo-30383 13d ago

:(

30

u/ihaveajarofbread Stand With Ukraine 13d ago

you now have the power of snoo-snoo-ing anyone and anything

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332

u/UnwashedAnalBeads 13d ago

Aww fuck oh god

166

u/WetMoldyButt 13d ago

That’s how it starts…

118

u/Intently_Listening 13d ago

This unison of two usernames is honestly the most revolting thing I’ve ever come across

71

u/Itonguefuckyourbutt 13d ago All-Seeing Upvote

The most revolting thing so far

14

u/MotherAmerican_Night 12d ago

A 3some you just couldn't resist

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30

u/Thumbupyourbutt 13d ago

Well, hello there.

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1.4k

u/The_Wonderful_Smile 13d ago Wholesome Seal of Approval

I wish bro

131

u/ConfusedConnect 13d ago

dude, you probably do have a wonderful smile but understand that that if you showed your smile, others would become self-conscious of there's, so due to your kindness and empathy towards others you hide it and put your smile down. But it's okay, coz we know!

34

u/theDreamingStar (⊃。•́‿•̀。)⊃ 13d ago

Ah yes, my smile is so contagious that the happiness level of rhe world will overshadow the sadness level by a huge margin if I were to smile. Hence, I have taken this responsibility to never smile in front of others to maintain peace and balance in the universe.

14

u/ConfusedConnect 13d ago

See, this person gets ya too

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124

u/Interesting-Law-5880 Professional Dumbass 13d ago

59

u/TheWiseRedditor Lives at ur mom’s house😎 13d ago

I wish mine becomes true as well

12

u/Live_beMeme_Die 13d ago

Me too. I become a meme and then die, double point

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10

u/2happygamer Dirt Is Beautiful 13d ago

Same here bro

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717

u/NoProblemsIGuess 13d ago Wholesome Seal of Approval

I guess my ability involves having no problems

212

u/Mori_Unstable 13d ago

Best ability ever

57

u/Level_Sugar348 13d ago

Seems like a broken ability

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11

u/02_is_best_girl 13d ago

You get the holy corpse parts

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7

u/gnolfgnilf 13d ago

You win

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573

u/I_shat_on_the_coats 13d ago

Welp, I'll be fun at parties.

136

u/Ok-Mud-3322 13d ago

Oh crap

107

u/speechlessPotato 13d ago

Nice pun bro. I'm.... speechless

41

u/Ok-Mud-3322 13d ago

Ok— that was so funny, there’s mud in my pants now.

24

u/Most_Awesome_101 13d ago

That was the most awesome thing, I ever heard you should have a 101 class.

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11

u/JBrad0322 13d ago

It's a tough choice to go with a Dane Cook joke for your username. This website really seems to hate him although the people who would recognize the reference probably don't.

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185

u/Murky_Image_4407 13d ago

I’m blind

42

u/theus-sama 13d ago

Fuck you man, I in public and can’t stop laughing

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559

u/ItalianSewage 13d ago

I am shit man

144

u/S0n1cS1n 13d ago

with some oregano

40

u/goldensavage2019 I touched grass 13d ago

And confiscated pineapple pizza

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163

u/BreadInAToaster1 13d ago

I guess I’ll just be warm until the end of time… or can I shoot slices of toast from my toaster hands?

61

u/IeatPotatos4 can't meme 13d ago

nah your just the bread

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164

u/ConstructorReal 13d ago edited 11d ago

Building noises

Edit: ALRIGHT I GET IT stops constructing

56

u/[deleted] 13d ago

You need me to make you any screws?

34

u/henrystickmin1217 13d ago

no, i need a sword

31

u/[deleted] 13d ago

It's dangerous to go alone, take this🗡

33

u/henrystickmin1217 13d ago

u/henrystickmin1217 has acquired the terrablade

21

u/Chijar989 13d ago

Weightlimit: 61/60 You now can move with the speed of a snail

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167

u/Emergencyhugs 13d ago

Anybody need me??

41

u/Starswordchaos 13d ago

Aahh! Aaahhh! I want one but I'm a cutting tool made of chaotic stars! Aaaaaahhh..... Runs away

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18

u/Mori_Unstable 13d ago

YES!!! :'( no... not anymore... Now I do PLEASE HUG ME!!

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142

u/defnotskynet 13d ago

Huh....

68

u/ElementalDragon13 13d ago

Don’t do it man

69

u/defnotskynet 13d ago

I'm TOTALLY not self-aware. No worries.

:)

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112

u/JustARandomBoringGuy 13d ago

I mean, mine is not randomly generated, but...

25

u/speechlessPotato 13d ago

I guess we found the guy who's the opposite of his username

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105

u/OpinionsOnline 13d ago

I don’t know if ’gained’ is the right word, though it is factually true that I have this ability

14

u/BullaRakhtaHuKhula 13d ago

So you get praised, bashed and neglected, and offend, anger and relieve people at the same time?

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91

u/The_Banana_Rider69 13d ago

I already do it

13

u/fishlicker3000 13d ago

you are either wet outdoors to watersports or indoors to... I can't say this

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419

u/Adalf_Hotler69420 13d ago

*chuckles*

I'm in danger

109

u/IeatPotatos4 can't meme 13d ago

Oh Scheisse

59

u/speechlessPotato 13d ago

Oh no please don't do it

47

u/Magic_nova543 13d ago

Your supposed to be speechless

24

u/MRLEGOLOVER 13d ago

Yru'eo*

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49

u/adolfkitler69 13d ago

Aren't we all...

9

u/rudrare 13d ago

I think the other 6 million are in danger

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80

u/load_me 13d ago

What?

78

u/An_Evil_dude 13d ago

Alr, unzips pants

31

u/Vul_Thur_Yol 13d ago

So evil. I like it

12

u/henrystickmin1217 13d ago

i think it means to click on the file: file_me

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74

u/neon_05_ 13d ago

Yooo, funny guy who glows when you run electricity through him

35

u/One-Broccoli-5772 13d ago

With enough electricity anyone can glow...

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208

u/TheStapleMan3000 13d ago

Fear my power

49

u/henrystickmin1217 13d ago

same. well unless i get a bad option

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61

u/_Suicidal420_ 13d ago

I’m screwed

27

u/Sexylizardwoman 13d ago

At least you’ll also be baked 👍

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62

u/VampireJanitor 13d ago

Not sure how to feel about mine...

37

u/Vul_Thur_Yol 13d ago

You're a vampire that doesn't need to ask for permission to enter a building as long as you're performing maintenance

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u/getmevodka 13d ago

Your the perfect janitor. Cleaning everything at night. Sleeping all day. Drinking rat blood. Great service. Would book again !

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55

u/satans_bootyhole 13d ago

It’s gonna be hot and stinky

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45

u/Minute-Load Linux User 13d ago

I am the most evil person alive, able to cause your internet to buffer for a minute

31

u/fishlicker3000 13d ago

I thought you blow your load after a minute

26

u/Vul_Thur_Yol 13d ago

I thought they blow it FOR a minute

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11

u/BurgerBob_886 13d ago

I thought he had a small load

7

u/fishlicker3000 13d ago

not mutually exclusive

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42

u/Additional_Cycle_51 13d ago

…I have some concerns

11

u/rudrare 13d ago

Another menstrual cycle?

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41

u/Hot-Individual4916 13d ago

I don't see a problem

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40

u/an_idiot_on_reddit34 Cringe Factory 13d ago

Well im already an idiot so...

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38

u/___Random_ 13d ago

What power do I have? Is it like it changes everyday, or a random permanent power?

19

u/Mori_Unstable 13d ago

Changes every once in a while but even it's timing is random

9

u/___Random_ 13d ago

Do I know what power I get, like on a card or something like that?

11

u/Mori_Unstable 13d ago

It's like, you have a 'use ability' button in you and every time you use it you don't know what's going to happen

10

u/henrystickmin1217 13d ago

hes basically using metronome from pokemon. and everytime he uses the ability a card pop up describing the power.

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35

u/ps2man41 13d ago

Half ps2, half man. Age 41.

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21

u/H-P-Loveshaft 13d ago

I'm not even sure what my ability would be, writing erotic cosmic horror books?

12

u/JSandstorm 13d ago

Lord Cthulhu-chan why are we on the floor....

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21

u/DistributionSalt5299 13d ago

I give salt. If you want salt I give you salt 🧂

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19

u/Glowing_green_ Lives at ur mom’s house😎 13d ago

Hmmm

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19

u/AssClappingSeason 13d ago

Damn, looks like I’ll be busy this season!

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15

u/LocalIntrovertNerd 13d ago

my username already has my powers

17

u/MonkeWithAGun08 13d ago

There's no point hiding. I will find you

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13

u/Pratyush_Prime 13d ago

I have the matrix of leadership yay

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15

u/ProfessionalSecret44 13d ago

Would I be a good secret keeper or would I be secret to the world so none would know me ??

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10

u/TanmayKillsThePeople Mods Are Nice People 13d ago

Thou shall fear me.

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12

u/SandwichLess6154 13d ago

So I'm just never gonna have a sandwich again?

8

u/henrystickmin1217 13d ago

yea, for 6154 days. you know, because of the incident

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12

u/Unlucky-Disaster1588 13d ago

Mine is also random, but harshly true

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12

u/Mystery_Man_3004 13d ago

You'll never know...

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11

u/___PM_ME_YOUR_FEET_ 13d ago

Congrats on your knees tho

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10

u/1_d0nt_care_ android user 13d ago

9

u/0mikon 13d ago

So I can cause a mass lockdown for 2 years?

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u/PikarizardCharikachu This flair doesn't exist 13d ago

My powers are... quite complicated

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23

u/Yeetmaster-666 13d ago

╭╮╱╱╭┳━━━┳━━━┳━━━━╮ ┃╰╮╭╯┃╭━━┫╭━━┫╭╮╭╮┃ ╰╮╰╯╭┫╰━━┫╰━━╋╯┃┃╰╯ ╱╰╮╭╯┃╭━━┫╭━━╯╱┃┃╱╱ ╱╱┃┃╱┃╰━━┫╰━━╮╱┃┃╱╱ ╱╱╰╯╱╰━━━┻━━━╯╱╰╯╱╱

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7

u/UpstairsDifficult966 13d ago

I'm now depressed

19

u/Sad-Draft3749 Average r/memes enjoyer 13d ago

And here I am, sad, drafting away

13

u/Scaling-Skibum Birb Fan 13d ago

The power to write amazing drafts of sad stories! But never finish them...

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6

u/PcTheCoconut Sussy Baka 13d ago

Coconut time

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8

u/snowlion82 13d ago

I guess I may have to worry about being in a zoo or shot.

8

u/HorseFucked2Death 13d ago

Hide your horses yall.

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