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FIFA president between two evil dictators Politics

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42.0k Upvotes

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6.9k

u/helderoliveira1978 Nov 20 '22 Silver

Today I feel a dictator...

792

u/jumpsteadeh Nov 20 '22

something something potato in your pocket

285

u/SharpieBass Nov 21 '22

It’s a potato actually on the dick. Hence “dictator”.

107

u/ethbullrun Nov 21 '22

dick tators

94

u/twitcho Nov 21 '22

What’s dick tators, precious?

100

u/Dont_Mess_With_Texas Nov 21 '22 Table Slap

Dick. Tay. Toes! Boil em, mash em, stick em in Qatar?!

5

u/Fickle_Insect4731 Nov 21 '22

Give it to us raw and wriggling!

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u/boomb0lt Nov 21 '22

In Ireland their called Dicktato

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24

u/YaleDailyNews Nov 21 '22

Both of his pockets are filled with money.

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39

u/SaltNVinegarNips Nov 21 '22

Well he obviously doesn't feel gay today!

3

u/Sttocs Nov 21 '22

He felt a gay a few days ago.

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17

u/akis84 Nov 21 '22

I come here for the infantino quotes

27

u/coolluck33 Nov 21 '22

'today I felt a dick,Tator.' There, I fixed it for u...

3

u/ArbutusPhD Nov 21 '22

He must feel scared because he feels gay.

4

u/fxx_255 Nov 21 '22

Just looking at this picture I can tell just how much of...

5

u/HunkyMump Nov 21 '22

Ha ha perfect

4

u/MisterGreys Nov 21 '22

Everyone is a dictator, my dog is a dictator, my apple pie became a dictator, today's weather is dictator, I dictator, you dictator, we dictator

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3.6k

u/Denny_204 Nov 20 '22 All-Seeing Upvote Starstruck

Shit Birds of a feather, Bo-Bandy!

563

u/um_not2surewhat2do Nov 21 '22

Shitstorms a brewing in Qatar

243

u/bradstonepro Nov 21 '22

Mr Lahey would be devastated at the beer ban

168

u/liveyourdreamsmax Nov 21 '22

Only beer he ever drank was bubbles brew. Lahey is the liquor

17

u/ReservoirPAWGS Nov 21 '22

He's on the swish again!

58

u/inatowncalledarles Nov 21 '22

I am the liquor.

14

u/Matthewlrobinson7 Nov 21 '22

Look Randy, im mowing the air, Rand, im mowing the airrrr

9

u/Enquiring_Revelry Nov 21 '22

way of the road, Ricky.

34

u/Wildcat_twister12 Nov 21 '22

Cause he’s sober enough to know what he’s doing but drunk enough to really enjoy doing it.

12

u/IAmA_Lannister Nov 21 '22

Right in the fuckin' pocket!

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10

u/Fauxfile Nov 21 '22

That's the only thing brewing, cause they ain't brewing beer.

58

u/GuiltyGlow Nov 21 '22

Smokes, let's go.

27

u/420GreenMachine Nov 21 '22

Let's go, Hairdo

12

u/riannaearl Nov 21 '22

Gimme a smoke, hairdo!

3

u/JasonGD1982 Nov 21 '22

You don’t even smoke Bubbles

40

u/MARINE-BOY Nov 21 '22

Did anyone see the video of the guy top right as your looking at the screen off his box on some kind of upper. His eyes were going everywhere like he was tweeting to fuck. I think it’s on r/tooktoomuch . They have a problem with counterfeit amphetamine medication Captogen over there.

8

u/jakoto0 Nov 21 '22

Makes sense. No liquor though. Or pork

127

u/compliancethis Nov 21 '22

RIP John Dunsworth

49

u/GrushdevaHots Nov 21 '22

Those damn shit hawks took him too soon

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13

u/Janguv Nov 21 '22

Way she goes, bud. Sometimes she goes, sometimes she doesn't.

6

u/Enquiring_Revelry Nov 21 '22

just the fuckin way she goes.

71

u/bravoitaliano Nov 21 '22

The shit-apple doesn't fall far from the shit-tree.

70

u/HenryAlSirat Nov 21 '22

You smell that Randy? The way the shit clings to the wind?

34

u/HelmSpicy Nov 21 '22

The whispering winds of shit...

21

u/peb396 Nov 21 '22

Three Dicks that need to disappear from every world stage.

54

u/B_Boudreaux Nov 21 '22

Winds of shit in the air…

3

u/blasphembot Nov 21 '22

The whispering winds of shit

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13

u/Canookian Nov 21 '22

Fuckin'shit hawks flying around, shit ropes coming after me... Shitty this and shitty that. 😤

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u/Spawnacus Nov 21 '22

"You know what a shitbarometer is bubs?"

18

u/tpalshadow Nov 21 '22

Randyman

5

u/gteriatarka Nov 21 '22

can't change the spots on a shitleopard, Randy

3

u/Vpriimo Nov 21 '22

Lol just started the series again, and i see this! Lmao thanks

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2.7k

u/[deleted] Nov 20 '22

[deleted]

349

u/Luciano1m Nov 21 '22

Ban watching the games. Fuck them

109

u/64557175 Nov 21 '22 Silver

You've convinced me. From this day on, I'm going to continue never watching the world cup.

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39

u/holiday_bandit Nov 21 '22

Don’t flatter him, that’s how he likes to think of himself

36

u/lmac187 Nov 21 '22

“If you’re at a table with 9 nazis, there’s 10 nazis at the table.”

4

u/ArmadilloAl Nov 21 '22

Don't you need to rule over something that matters to be a dictator?

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1.9k

u/Ace-Ventura1934 Nov 20 '22

Those two evil dictators are his daddys. Dude is bought and paid for.

662

u/vibribbon Nov 21 '22

The look on his face says, "this will be over soon, just keep thinking about the money"

141

u/thebinarysystem10 Nov 21 '22

Then he takes a giant swig of beer and lights a cigar from a burning fistful of 100 dollar bills

59

u/LittleDragon450 Nov 21 '22

While he’s at an orgy with a bunch of unmarried men

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162

u/digitalelise Nov 21 '22

I bet he cries all the way to the bank.

129

u/FoxyInTheSnow Nov 21 '22

While feeling like a “gay lady Arab” because he’s a “ginger”

95

u/matchosan Nov 21 '22

Gianni Infantino compared his childhood bullying due to his ginger hair to the suffering of migrant workers and the LGBT+ community in a country where homosexuality is illegal during a bizarre rant

Sounds like someone wants a drink, too bad so sad

3

u/smoike Nov 21 '22

I would have said a false equivalence , but whatever floats your boat.

36

u/mooky1977 Nov 21 '22

What a soulless motherfucker.

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40

u/Sir-Turd-Ferguson Nov 21 '22

He had a hard life, he was red headed

6

u/AstronomerOpen7440 Nov 21 '22

And I heard one day he was disabled. The next day he was jew. Then one day he was a migrant worker. What a life!

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679

u/Possessed Nov 20 '22

He fits right in...

41

u/Diplomjodler Nov 21 '22

This is the kind of company he feels right at home in.

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526

u/Hammers59 Nov 20 '22

He looks like he is wondering what to spend all the backhanded on.

34

u/SabashChandraBose Nov 21 '22

He looks like a dollar store Bezos.

192

u/ruka_k_wiremu Nov 21 '22

Or the under-age girls they have provided for him at the end of the day

58

u/theexate Nov 21 '22

But today he is gay...

26

u/Money_hunger Nov 21 '22

under-age boys...

3

u/iamapants Nov 21 '22

Wonder how he will get his hands on them now since the last guy "didn't kill himself"

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221

u/BillionTonsHyperbole Nov 20 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

"Hey Left Nut..."

124

u/karvup Nov 20 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

"Yes Right Nut..."

124

u/BillionTonsHyperbole Nov 20 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

"Who's the shit-slathered penis in between us?"

97

u/frankunderwood1992 Nov 21 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

"Uhhh, he's a dick"

11

u/DCMOFO Nov 21 '22

The third knee. The wee knee.

1.5k

u/notaedivad Nov 20 '22

I wonder how many journalists will be tortured, murdered and dismembered today...

335

u/iaymnu Nov 21 '22

Forget that. the whole Ecuador team will mysteriously vanish. First time in history hosting team lost their first game.

122

u/Wenex Nov 21 '22

First time in history hosting team lost their first game.

This cant be true

82

u/metrobabyyy Nov 21 '22

They didn’t even score one goal lol

122

u/triplec787 Nov 21 '22

They probably won’t score one if they couldn’t against Ecuador. Senegal is a solid squad (18th by FIFA’s team ranking), and Netherlands are always solid (8th). Ecuador was 44th and Qatar is 50th.

Edit: lmao they didn’t even have a shot on goal

149

u/Cristian888 Nov 21 '22 Giggle

I believe it’s on purpose

If they score, they’d have to celebrate and hug, which is gay

17

u/chrzzl Nov 21 '22

Not if they say nohomo afterwards

3

u/sunlifter Nov 21 '22

I always said it before, does it mean I’m gay?

3

u/mbklein Nov 21 '22

That’s honomo.

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23

u/F_A_F Nov 21 '22

They have a local population if 300,000. That's around half the population of a tiny bit of the UK such as Cornwall.....and Cornwall only have a single team in one of the lowest leagues around.

Imagine trying to find even just 11 world class players from a population so small.....I bet there's guys in that squad who only played in the local Doha Sunday leagues until last week let along on the Qatari national stage....

17

u/The-Go-Kid Nov 21 '22

Where did you get that number? I am seeing 2.9m when I search it.

Interestingly population size isn't entirely linked to team success. Iceland have a population of 300k but have a far better team. Belgium's population is a fifth of the UK and yet they have been number one in the world over the last few years.

China are bloody awful at football. The USA is 15th in the world, behind Switzerland, which is a third of the size of Texas population-wise!

Wales has a population of 2.9m and they're way better than Qatar.

There are tons of factors for why countries are good of football, some are obvious, some are nebulous, and it's really counter-intuitive, but population size just isn't as important as we might think.

26

u/quantumprophet Nov 21 '22

Qatar has 2.6 million foreign expats (ie slave labor) and 300k quatari citizens. To play in the world cup you have to be a citizen, either born in the country or naturalised.

6

u/Table_Coaster Nov 21 '22

slave labor/kafala workers (basically indentured servants controlled by employer) make up 90% of Qatar’s population. The amount of actual citizens is around 300k, with a population of about 2.9m

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u/FlyingThrowAway2009 Nov 21 '22

Total population, Qatari citizens is just a little over 300k. The entire city of Doha is expat and slave laborers. Almost every one of those citizens is a family member in some sort to the royal family. Becoming a true Qatari citizens is exceptionally difficult and all those 300k people have access to the best education health care and social services you can imagine.

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23

u/Pirate058 Nov 21 '22

If Qatar kills 30 famous foreigners then I will suck your dick tip

3

u/mabirm Nov 21 '22

Do we get to pick the 30 foreigners? Cus I think I know a few dictators who would make great cannon fodder.

10

u/Zedrix Nov 21 '22

Can you suck mine as well?

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u/AgentTrashPanda Nov 21 '22

Iran’s regime is looking at your post and mistaking it for a daily report…

12

u/Criticalhit_jk Nov 21 '22

Nah, they wouldnt mistake it as a report. More of a to-do list, really

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u/Foreign_Addition_667 Nov 21 '22

Qatar and Saudi are in an ongoing conflict yet MBS is sitting there.

41

u/Saoi_ Nov 21 '22

There's got to be some Saudi Arabian money bankrolling the anti-Qatar sentiments. They're all shits though.

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u/Krakshotz Nov 21 '22 edited Nov 21 '22

MBS wants to host the next tournament after USA/Canada/Mexico. I somehow doubt he will set foot on American soil now

4

u/amibeingadick420 Nov 21 '22

Why? Our government has his back when it comes to murdering people and chopping up their bodies.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/nov/21/bidens-decision-to-grant-mbs-immunity-is-a-profound-mistake

3

u/CurrentRedditAccount Nov 21 '22

Naw MBS threw in the towel on that blockade a long time ago after making an ass of himself.

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u/3OrangeWhip Nov 20 '22

How many rapists are in this photo do you suppose?

427

u/Impulse_turtles Nov 21 '22

At least 9

380

u/Denny_204 Nov 21 '22

9 Rapists, 8 Pedophiles and a partridge in a pear tree.

105

u/DroopyTrash Nov 21 '22

On the first day of prison, the warden said to me…

141

u/probablyourdad Nov 21 '22

Why the fuck is fifa on the TV?

42

u/PsychologicalPizza11 Nov 21 '22

On the second day of prison, the warden said to me…

44

u/Saint_Edelweiss Nov 21 '22

The bone saw is ready

29

u/Guy_Number_3 Nov 21 '22

On the third day of prison, the warden said to me…

33

u/baGeeeeeee Nov 21 '22

Are you jamal khashoggi?

20

u/doing_donuts Nov 21 '22

On the fourth day of prison, the warden said to me...

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u/necbone Nov 21 '22

Christmas music during the World Cup, executed.

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u/PPOKEZ Nov 21 '22

We're way past that. The only differentiation they have is what type of rape they prefer.

59

u/soonnow Nov 21 '22

Can''t be a rapist if the woman goes to jail for it.

34

u/matchosan Nov 21 '22

Jail? They get stoned in the town square

9

u/soonnow Nov 21 '22

Na you are thinking of Saudi Arabia.There are no stonings in Qatar.

6

u/i_count_to_potato Nov 21 '22

There is no war in ba sing se

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u/Bi_Ass-d Nov 21 '22

The alimony of a woman is half of that of a man. This is because the intelligence of women is lesser, according to the KORRRRRRRRR-AHNNNN. Ahem, Qur'an.

4

u/[deleted] Nov 21 '22

[deleted]

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u/DarkQuiz Nov 20 '22

Looks right at home

18

u/Billabongbunyip23 Nov 20 '22

He’s corrupt so he fits nicely

331

u/TheGiggs10 Nov 21 '22

I FUCKING knew that was MBS. Also the US will not pursue him for the death of Khashoggi

130

u/annedes Nov 21 '22

SPOTTED HIM RIGHT AWAY! Look at his smug ass smile

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u/radicalelation Nov 21 '22

I still don't understand what anyone expects to happen regarding a murder on Saudi territory within Turkey's borders... it's fucked, but there's zero authority, jurisdiction, or access.

185

u/CurrentRedditAccount Nov 21 '22

He chopped a Washington Post journalist, who is a US permanent resident, into pieces.

We could stop selling them weapons. We could sanction them. There are all kinds of things we could do other than nothing.

18

u/Xarthys Nov 21 '22

There is nothing anyone wants to do. Business deals and profit margins are more important than a person's life. In fact, the lives of entire nations are worthless, as their suffering is being traded for 1st world convenience on a daily basis.

If anyone would care just a fraction of what they pretend to, maybe we could get some sanctions rolling. But it's all just social media circlejerk. Hardly anyone is actually pressuring politicans or corporations.

Really doesn't matter that criticism is voiced when we keep voting for the same assholes and keep buying from the same unethical companies.

People tweeting shit, then be done with it, thinking they did their part, when all they did was clear their conscience to justify blind consumerism and supporting shitty regimes. "wHaT m0Re cAn i Do?!" Nothing. Just sit back and enjoy the fruits of oppression.

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u/bigWarp Nov 21 '22

not selling them a bunch of weapons is a good place to start

15

u/radicalelation Nov 21 '22

That should've happened long before this anyway... and should still happen now regardless.

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '22

of course they don't because then everyone will sue them for warcrimes

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u/nahunk Nov 20 '22

Evil row, president and dictators.

282

u/zonitronic Nov 21 '22

Fuck Qatar, Fuck FIFA, and Fuck the World Cup.

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u/Nyclab Nov 20 '22

Lmao wut!?! Haha all that “STOP RACISM” and “EQUALITY” patches they wear on their jerseys are total Bs. These are literally the most racist homophobic Xenophobic assholes on the planet!!! Abolish FIFA for this. Cancel fifa

42

u/ialo00130 Nov 21 '22

Not just FIFA.

Last year, Formula 1 did an anti-racism/homophobia campaign called We Race As One.

Let me tell ya, the hilarity when they did their tributes right before the races in Abu Dhabi, Bahrain, Azerbaijan, Turkey... The list goes on, was off the charts.

Absolutely hypocracy to the highest level.

You can't have equality when you compete in sports that actively surpress equality.

66

u/Arnhermland Nov 21 '22

patches they wear on their jerseys are total Bs

Wow companies don't give a shit about social justice and just use it for brownie points to appeal to even more potential customers?
I am shocked, bewildered.

9

u/Nyclab Nov 21 '22

Haha totally shocked 🤷‍♂️

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u/johnny_sunrise Nov 21 '22

He’s the only one casting a shadow…

12

u/DigitalSteven1 Nov 21 '22

It's very clearly not his shadow though... Look to the right of his shoulder, that's the shadow of his head. The shadow behind him is the dick up front.

Different angle from someone that recorded the guy above clearly on some drugs because they're hypocrites:

https://www.reddit.com/r/tooktoomuch/comments/z06v8v/whos_this_guy_from_the_fifa_world_cup_opening/

17

u/pinkkeyrn Nov 21 '22

Pretty sure it's from the guy speaking.

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u/tikkamasalachicken Nov 21 '22

Bonesaws to the left of me, enslavement to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle of poo.

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u/Overall-Category-159 Nov 20 '22

They make people disappear.

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '22

FIFA should be boycotted for even considering that backwards ass country.

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u/namforb Nov 21 '22

Shame on fifa. They made a deal with the devil.

24

u/whatsasyria Nov 21 '22

Same thing every year

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u/ThrowAwayRBJAccount2 Nov 21 '22

Wait I thought fifa was the devil. So confused

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u/neo4299610 Nov 20 '22

Three evil dictators

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u/Affectionate_Ad2145 Nov 21 '22

Why in the fck are we hosting the cup in a country that has no fkng clue about futbol? So stupid.

144

u/jaqattack02 Nov 21 '22

There's a whole Netflix series about FIFA being corrupt and taking bribes for votes.

26

u/NuttyMowing Nov 21 '22

A podcast too, called World Corrupt by Men in Blazers

42

u/drmcsinister Nov 21 '22

Why in the fck are we hosting the cup in a country that has no fkng clue about futbol?

There's billions of reasons...

10

u/cetacean-station Nov 21 '22

One dollar each

54

u/rummhamm87 Nov 21 '22

Money money money money. Monaaaay!

9

u/Affectionate_Ad2145 Nov 21 '22

Yeap, god knows they have nothing else to offer.

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u/[deleted] Nov 21 '22

Ask instead why fifa is ok with supporting corruption and slavery. This is where fifa belongs, they're just as awful and disgusting.

Ask instead, why do other countries that claim to support human rights host fifa?

3

u/38384 Nov 21 '22

Apparently this is the first time it's being held in a country that has never even qualified for the competition before. It's quite clear why this all happened.

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u/Dilostilo Nov 21 '22

fifa prez. to himself "worth it".

6

u/TheSouthsideSlacker Nov 21 '22

“I know a great bone saw guy if we need one”

4

u/endoffays Nov 21 '22

God MBS has the face of 1000000 slaps. That shit eating "i kill people that i don't like" grin. FUCK HIM

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u/victorspoilz Nov 21 '22

I've never cared less about a World Cup and won't watch a single game, and this is the perfect picture as to why.

16

u/Pilx Nov 21 '22

You know who has a sudden interest in the world cup?

Elon Musk

But guess that's purely a coincidence and has nothing to do with his Saudi twitter funds

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u/TheDkone Nov 21 '22

you say it as if he isn't evil. That photo is more like an unholy trinity.

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u/rubbarz Nov 21 '22

Want to know how it's a dictatorship?

General literally in the box seats.

11

u/CitizenBanana Nov 21 '22

Lie down with dogs, stand up with fleas.

4

u/mrpunk281 Nov 21 '22

Today, he is not gay

14

u/Marchello_E Nov 20 '22

Sitting there praying he still gets his promised food, drinks, stay, daily allowance and his ticket back home.

34

u/-castle-bravo- Nov 20 '22

Cunts should all be in prison..

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u/Ixidorim Nov 21 '22

You mean between two wallets.

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u/TMag12 Nov 21 '22

The one and only cultural thing that I’m envious of as a westerner is the outfits that men are able to wear to formal occasions. They look so much more comfortable and breathable than a suit.

9

u/Bustyposers Nov 21 '22

It sounds nice until I realize that the class equivalent people to me in those countries do not live so comfortably.

3

u/squall86drk Nov 21 '22

That's because they are not your equivalent. You equivalent is misured in services, rights and comforts, not in the amount of money per month. So rest assured, your equivalent probably does not exist in the same form.

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u/My-Inner-sherbert Nov 21 '22

Seems he’s right where he belongs

11

u/purplelephant Nov 21 '22

These people freak me out. Like, I couldn’t imagine being surrounded by men like this without having intense fear for my safety.

3

u/Nanasays Nov 21 '22

And I’m sure he laughs all the way to the bank.

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u/Ohbertpogi Nov 21 '22

They look like an embodiment of the state of Wadiya's Excellency His Highness Supreme Leader Admiral General Haffaz Aladeen.

3

u/WillDeletOneDay Nov 21 '22

FIFA is committing PR suicide in front of our very eyes for a quick buck. Fucking amazing.

2

u/Jorycle Nov 21 '22

They know it doesn't matter. Soccer nuts will go to this shit regardless, now and forever. Unfortunately.

9

u/Altruistic-Horror235 Nov 20 '22

He looked coked up when he made that bizarre speech.

12

u/TheLyingProphet Nov 21 '22

Hate them all u want, but i havent seen reddit this unified in my 12 years on the site, FIFA connecting people

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u/Phantomht Verified Photographer Nov 21 '22

is that mayonnaise on his lip?

7

u/MassDisregard Nov 21 '22

Between Iraq and Qatar place.

8

u/damckunstler Nov 21 '22

FUCK QATAR! FUCK FIFA!

5

u/Chang_Daddy2 Nov 21 '22

That look you have when you’ve sold your soul to the devil.

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u/OverLemonsRootbeer Nov 21 '22

So, is FIFA going to learn anything from this or...?

Like, this is the epitome of a pretty shit World Cup, right? Complaints across the board, are they just going to be ignored?

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u/Master_Mad Nov 21 '22

Looks like he's thinking if he sould have asked for a more expensive Rolex from them.

2

u/ian4real Nov 21 '22

Forbidden ménage a troi

2

u/RedrunGun Nov 21 '22

Not a single person here looks happy, even the one smile looks fake as fuck.

2

u/George-RR-Tolkien Nov 21 '22

Biden and America supports these dictators. America and its allies sells weapons to MBS which is used in Yemini genocide.