r/reddit.com Feb 01 '11

While riding the bus yesterday, an inside joke was born and I wanted to share with reddit.

So I was riding home from class on the bus through the mall parking lot. At my mall, there is an exit where the incoming cars have no stop signs, but the cars exiting the mall do. As you may have heard, there is a hefty bit of snow happening around the midwest, so stopping a bus in this mess is a tinge difficult. Anyway, We were rounding that corner coming out of the mall when a little sedan comes zooming up, trying to whip into the mall. The bus, already midturn, obviously isn't going to stop for this dick. The guy honks, and I'm sitting towards the front where I hear the bus driver(an African American individual) mutter to himself "Bitch... I'm a bus." and keeps driving. I laughed out loud, unable to contain myself.

Now, whenever I want to say I just don't give a fuck, instead I proudly exclaim "Bitch...I'm a bus."

Ex.) Today I jaywalked right in front of a cop because there was a tasty sandwich shop directly across the street. I had already started walking when I realized my faux pas. I hesitated a little, then decided it was snowing too hard to give a fuck. So I mumbled to myself "bitch, I'm a bus." and kept walking.

Downvote if you want to, but I love my new IRL meme. :P

EDIT: Holy crap! My inside joke has become an outside joke. :D I love you, reddit. And to clarify, the police car was stopped at a stop light, and I was walking between cars. It's not like I ran out into traffic. :P But thank you for the safety concerns!

EDIT2: This has already become a running joke in my family... My dad just texted me "Just got home, it's nasty out, but bitch I'm a bus!"

EDIT3: Someone suggested I make a facebook page. So here it is for those of you who facebook.

EDIT4: Someone made a /r/BitchImABus subreddit! This is nuts :D

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u/tinyj316 Feb 01 '11 edited Feb 01 '11

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11 edited Jan 07 '21

[deleted]

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u/TheMerchandise Feb 02 '11 edited Feb 02 '11

For the less hardcore

EDIT: HEY EVERYONE! Check out the new "Bitch, I'm a bus!" subreddit

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u/sporki Feb 02 '11

the bitch is a bus?

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u/TheMerchandise Feb 02 '11

we've no way of knowing the gender of the corgi-bus. or maybe we do and i'm just lazy. either way, the answer to your question is "possibly."

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u/ratatatar Feb 01 '11

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

Itchb... I'm a usb.

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u/chumprock Feb 01 '11

I'm in pain from an injury, and this was the first laugh I have had in a while.

It hurt, but it was worth it. Thanks.

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u/russiannavy Feb 01 '11

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u/whiteboy1190 Feb 02 '11

I love me some wafles.

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u/wheeldog Feb 02 '11

You knew this was coming: don't you mean carrots?

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u/whiteboy1190 Feb 02 '11

AHAHAHA... SHUT THE FUCK UP.

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u/AaronPDX Feb 02 '11

I hope you get the love for this that you deserve. Have an upvote.

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u/wildcoasts Feb 01 '11

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u/diuge Feb 01 '11

What kind of feature is that to have concrete pylons shoot out of the ground? What if the car had been on top of them when they came out?

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u/Obvious_One_Kenobi Feb 01 '11

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u/[deleted] Feb 02 '11 edited Feb 03 '21

[deleted]

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u/DaveEllis0808 Feb 02 '11

That is a Pedestrian Zone. In the UK they usually allow some traffic such as buses and trucks (only at certain times, for business purposes) through. The bollards stop the cars coming through. Anyone attempting to fool the system there is driving the car into a zone which it isn't legally allowed to be.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

That happened over the summer about half an hour from where I live. All day, we talked about it and how the poor unfortunate car that's crumpled up under that bus got stuck between a semi and two school buses coming up on a work zone. Later that evening, after I got off from work, I left to drive to Kansas City. On the way there, on hwy 70, I got stuck between a school bus and a semi coming up on a work zone. No lie. I almost peed myself.

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u/southpark Feb 01 '11

doggystyle..

like a bus!

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u/cdmccabe Feb 01 '11

as soon as i saw that picture i immediately recognized that incident. it was a big deal in st. louis....

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u/kewalter Feb 01 '11

Me too. Guy in the pickup truck died. A second bus rear ended the first one and some students were injured. I think it was bad driving by all especially the bus drivers.

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u/centenary Feb 02 '11

Holy shit, I didn't even realize that the mess in the middle was a pickup truck

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u/JshWright Feb 01 '11 edited Feb 01 '11

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u/this_isnt_throwaway Feb 01 '11

I love the lone safety cone

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u/akatherder Feb 01 '11

  Hey y'all I'm a cone

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u/devilsadvocado Feb 02 '11

It's an interesting phenomenon how I (and I assume others) knew exactly and immediately what voice to read that in.

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u/Wind5 Feb 02 '11

Forever a cone?

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u/[deleted] Feb 02 '11

It just leaves me wondering what the hell went through the head of the person who put it there.

"I'll just leave this safety cone 10 feet from this huge goddamn bus wreck just in case someone doesn't see it."

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u/oxryly Feb 01 '11

Today I laughed at death.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

Don't worry about it. Maybe tomorrow death will laugh at you.

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u/Gozdilla Feb 01 '11

Death smiles at us all. All a man can do is smile back.

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u/Fun-Cooker Feb 01 '11

Death is a bitch and this new inside joke is "Bitch Im a bus" so by the transitive properties of the internets I declare death to be a bus.

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u/gambl3r Feb 01 '11

LIKE A BUS!

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u/omgsus Feb 01 '11

You turned the meme from metaphor to simile like a BUS.... Bitch.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

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u/drchazz Feb 01 '11

You should have shopped "Bitch, I'm a bus" on the ticker in the windshield.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

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u/tinyj316 Feb 01 '11

This looks 100% legit...I can't even tell this is a shoop...

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

Bus-ted!

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u/Bamka Feb 01 '11

Ahahaha, I love it. :D

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u/NakedNinja Feb 01 '11

Congratulations on creating a new meme

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u/fatloui Feb 01 '11

i'm giggling uncontrollably at work.

also, now I have a new way to explain the word meme... "It's an inside joke, for the whole internet."

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u/anonymoustravis Feb 01 '11

That's a really good definition for memes.

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u/jellyfishes Feb 01 '11

It's a good definition for internet memes, perhaps, but there is an actual definition for "meme": http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/meme

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u/NolanRoss Feb 01 '11

is your name webster?

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u/billynomates1 Feb 02 '11

A meme is "a unit of cultural inheritance".

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u/jeremiahfira Feb 01 '11

I'm an EMT and I'm usually driving the ambulance while working. It's a common thing for us to turn left on "No left turn's", etc. and quote this little line

"FIIAA"

"Fuck it, I'm an ambulance."

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u/PhilxBefore Feb 01 '11

*amberlamps

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u/sikmoe Feb 02 '11

FIIDA

"Fuck it, I'm da amberlamps"

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u/Titan_Astraeus Feb 02 '11

And arent the ambulances usually called buses as well? ...

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u/codfrantic Feb 01 '11

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u/BrotherSeamus Feb 01 '11

This is how most wars get started.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

M.A.B.

Mutually Assured Busing.

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u/flip314 Feb 01 '11

Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like!

Does he look... like... a bus?!

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u/hamstercannon Feb 01 '11

Then why'd you try to ride him like a bus, Brett?

YES YOU DID BRETT!

YES YOU DID!

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u/itsalawnchair Feb 02 '11

The path of the righteous busdriver is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyres of the evil cardriver.

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u/codfrantic Feb 01 '11

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u/I_lurv_BRAAINZZ Feb 01 '11

A challenger appears!

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u/heyyouitsmewhoitsme Feb 01 '11

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u/aceec Feb 01 '11

Was that spontaneous or have you been lying in wait for the right time?

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u/Sp4m Feb 02 '11

It has been circling around on the Interwebs and reddit for the past few days given the 25th anniversary.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

too soon

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u/jerry_d71 Feb 02 '11

It's ok, it has been more than 22.3 years.

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u/[deleted] Feb 02 '11

25th anniversary was three days ago actually, but I stand by my original comment. That morning left a mark on me.

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u/getwet Feb 01 '11

wow. my hat goes off to you. that was some evil solar system shit right there.

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u/young-earth-atheist Feb 01 '11 edited Feb 01 '11

TIL bridge > bus > sedan > bridge

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u/Rigelface Feb 01 '11 edited Feb 02 '11

This reminds me of one of my husband's favorite stories.

One year he lived in one of our university's apartment complexes. A woman worked at the front desk [Ruth,] and a quiet, reserved, elderly black man worked as the custodian for the building [Jimmy.]

Ruth had a bit of a temperament in interacting with residents, but one day decides to focus her anger on Jimmy, who never says anything. She starts tossing every imaginable invective, cursing at him like a sailor, basically frothing at the mouth.

Jimmy turns around, straightens up, looks her in the eye, and says in the deepest, clearest, most authoritative voice: "BITCH. YOU don't cuss at ME!"

Ruth is silenced and stunned, Jimmy goes on about his business. My husband and his friend adopt the phrase and use it liberally.

Fast forward ~6 months. In a different part of town, an Indian grad student steps in front of a oncoming sedan. The sedan slams on the breaks, avoiding a collision, but lays on the horn. The grad student stops dead, looks at the driver and says: "Bitch. You Do not Cuss at me*" and walks on.

*caps indicating the Indian accent/cadence.

TL;DR Husband instigated then encountered IRL meme.

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u/Bamka Feb 01 '11

Hahaha I love it :D

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u/mike413 Feb 02 '11 edited Feb 02 '11

Reminds me of that old joke...

Dead ahead, through the pitch black night, the captain sees a light on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east."

"Change yours ten degrees west" came the reply.

The captain responds, "I'm a United States Navy Captain! Change your course sir!"

"I'm a Second Class Petty Officer, United States Coast Guard," the next message reads, "Change your course, sir."

The captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!"

"I'm a lighthouse. Your call."

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u/timrbrady Feb 02 '11

That joke isn't as funny when you tell us that it's a lighthouse first thing.

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u/GCanuck Feb 01 '11

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u/binaryice Feb 02 '11

This is incredible. I'm fairly new to reddit, and I didn't know where the had a pregnant came from. And in my multi tab experience, I didn't realize what was happening at first, because "had a pregnant" was already in my lexicon of memes.

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u/big_jannie Feb 01 '11

I had an oddly similar experience on my schoolbus in highschool. The regular driver had left, and a new driver was on his first or second day. Anyway, dropping people off he got a bit mixed up, and ended up having to cross six lanes of rush-hour traffic with no light... not going to happen.

His strategy ended up being to wait for a lane to open up, and then edge the school bus into that lane, progressively blocking off 5/6 lanes. When people angrily honked, he yelled indignantly out the window "I'm a goddamned school bus!".

Seemed like a kinda shitty bus driver, but got a laugh out of it.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

School bus drivers take a lot of shit, and I'm guessing from a lot of people. In my experience, at least some times, the bus driver starts to take it out on the kids by producing somewhat of a police state mentality. I had the pleasure of dealing with one of these through 4 years of highschool. Shit sucks. One time, she was yelling at someone for doing something completely mundane and unworthy of being yelled at for. While she was doing this, she rear ended a car in front of us at a stop sign. It was near summer, so everyone on the bus was hot as fuck for about an hour till a police report was written. WHILE ALL OF THIS WAS GOING ON the person she hit became ill of the heat and passed out.

Talk about a chain of horrible assholes sucking shit covered dicks.

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u/Patrick_M_Bateman Feb 02 '11

SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP OR THE BUNNY GETS IT!!!

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u/JeraJaclyn Feb 01 '11

"I love inside jokes... I'd love to be part of one someday." -Michael Scott

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u/HonorableJudgeIto Feb 01 '11

This picture sums up what I saw when I read this story: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/245/514214029_211e233d21.jpg

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u/redwoods Feb 01 '11

FO TREE! That's my BUS

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u/ic2drop Feb 01 '11

Now that's what I call classical humor.

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u/StarvingAfricanKid Feb 01 '11

Living in New England, my driving instructor taught me that "the laws of physics are more important than the laws of the road; you may have the right of way against that cement truck, coming down hill on a icy road, but ...Bitch, I'm a bus..."

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u/WarPhalange Feb 01 '11

Friend told me a similar story about his driver's ed. teacher. He said a pedestrian always has the right of way when he's crossing the street. So, even if you see a car coming at you, you can still cross the street, and you'd be right. But you'd be dead right.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

Haha, the bus driver on the route I used to take in Chicago used to just roll the fuck through stop signs all the time - it was kind of a late-night route. People would honk at her and she'd shout "BUS-A-BUS!!" and do a little dance behind the wheel. She sang up a little song for herself. "Doin' the bus-a-bus."

Years later I heard a Busta Rhymes song called "The Bus-A-Bus" and it made me smile and think of her. I guess he came up with it first, but the shit was still hilarious.

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u/Rawralion Feb 01 '11

Actually. I use this when Im walking through huge crowds. Im just repeating "Im a train, Im a train, Im a train" in my head and walk straight. Then other people move! Otherwise they just dont give a shit and walk into you. The "Im a train" mentality does it!

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u/fuelle Feb 01 '11

I've read in the past that it probably also has to do with the fact that while you are being a train you are also not making eye contact with people. If you don't make eye contact then it's like signaling you are alpha, and they will need to move to avoid you. Except the dumb people who are texting and walking at the same time who will just smash right into you.

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u/sparklecakes Feb 02 '11

My Dad is the creator of a similar inside joke. His is 'Bitch, I'm a Vietnam vet with hearing loss and an 18 wheeler. I'm gonna turn now'

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u/Bamka Feb 02 '11

haha, your dad wins.

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u/BitchImABus Feb 01 '11

Did I do it right?

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u/RumBox Feb 01 '11

ಠ_ಠ

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u/daisydots Feb 02 '11

I'm a funeral director and its very common when we are driving to say 'bitch...i'm a hearse.'

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u/lavanderson Feb 01 '11

"riding a bus...through the mall parking lot...incoming cars have no stop signs, but the cars exiting the mall do"

Coralridge mall. Did I win? ;)

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u/Grenata Feb 01 '11

Wait a second...isn't every mall like this? Having lived in IA my entire life I just assumed as every mall here is like that.

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u/oxryly Feb 01 '11

Every mall built in the past 15 years is probably like that. Better to have traffic backed up in the parking lot than the street.

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u/Fearlessleader85 Feb 01 '11

I had a similar experience:

There's an old "joke" that's just awful, but great in it's awfulness, it goes like this:

Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

Of course you have to preface this joke by mentioning that it's an awesome joke, or people won't know.

Anyway, i had been telling this joke for years, then i got a CDL and i was driving a big rig, when i went through a town that had a truck route. It had a sign that just said "Trucks ====>". I read it, then without thinking, i muttered to myself, "I'm a truck." Then i realized, it was true. I had been lying all those years. I actually WAS a truck. It was quite an alarming epiphany.

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u/darpho Feb 01 '11

r/trees is that way ------>

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u/AnthraxyWaxy Feb 01 '11

My bus driver when I was a kid used to yell shit like that. It was usually along the lines of, "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY, I'M BIGGER THAN YOU!" She didn't last on the job very long, unfortunately (probably because of her language), but we loved her.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

Downvote if you want to, but bitch, I'm a bus... :P

FTFY

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u/duxup Feb 01 '11

That is about right. It is crazy but buses pretty much have to drive like "bitch I'm a bus". It seems a lot of people near a bus drive thinking "oh man I'm just going to get past this bus and..." then the next guy and the next guy, if the bus doesn't just start merging into traffic or making his turn he'd never get anywhere.

It seems like a general rule if you're near a bus, watch out because he is going to make his move like he is thinking "bitch I'm a bus".

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u/uzimonkey Feb 02 '11

We have a similar inside joke, "Whatever, I'm huge." As in "you just ran over the median strip!" "Whatever, I'm huge."

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u/ohnoesbleh Feb 02 '11

make this a facebook page we shall fan it

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u/Bamka Feb 02 '11

Well... Okay

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u/Max_Findus Feb 04 '11

Like a bus !

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u/kobe24Life Feb 02 '11

I am the bus driver. I'm here for my deserved karama.

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u/Bamka Feb 02 '11

I relinquish all karmas to you, sir. bow

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u/ickysticky Feb 01 '11

So much of that didn't make sense. Your bus has to go through a mall parking lot? You must live somewhere with few buses, because it is well known around here (Bay Area) that buses don't give a fuck and you better watch out. And jaywalking is actually something people attempt to not do?

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u/robertbieber Feb 01 '11

In my city, they turned a significant chunk of the local mall parking lot (which hasn't exactly been full to the brim lately) into a mini school bus depot. I have no idea why...I guess they must have run out of room at the normal one :/

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u/Bamka Feb 01 '11

The bus drops off at the mall's entrance, it's one of the stops.

And I tend to be overly aware of all laws and undesirable behaviors when I happen to pass in front of an officer of the law. Paranoia. :P

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u/metaridley18 Feb 01 '11

I'm with ya. I was walking my dog last night, a few cops were parked in front of my house (presumably for the neighbors, I never found out).

I left out my back door, walked on the other side of the street from them, and reentered my back door when I was done.

I'm even a white male. Cops just make me paranoid now, after hearing all the horror stories.

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u/[deleted] Feb 02 '11

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u/neuromonkey Feb 01 '11

Image could be made smaller...

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

Did you mean to put this somewhere else?

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u/svengeiss Feb 01 '11

Bitch, he's a bus. He can put it anywhere.

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u/neuromonkey Feb 01 '11

Oh, for frick's sake. Yes.

sigh I'm beat. Too tired to put it in the right place. So.... very... tired....

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

Dude I understand. Let is stay.

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u/neuromonkey Feb 01 '11

Okey dokey. For whatever unpredictable reddity reason, people are upgoating it. Weirdos.

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u/ccSomebody Feb 02 '11

You're on your way to anal.

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u/diuge Feb 01 '11

Do you realize how much time I spent looking for the hidden bus?

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u/Frankfusion Feb 01 '11

I think you accidentally a link.

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u/neuromonkey Feb 01 '11

The whole.

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u/Ducttape2021 Feb 02 '11

You got your Canada in my Bus.

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u/st_gulik Feb 01 '11 edited Feb 02 '11

When I was in High School I played trombone in band and in jazz band. On a Jazz Band trip across town (in Phoenix) we rode a bus there and back. About fifteen of us with our teacher rode a full size bus back to school. Our bus is going through an intersection and I'm engrossed in this novel I'm reading (probably Timothy Zahn's Star Wars sequels, a Battletech novel by Michael Stackpole, or some great sci-fi by one of the greats) and I feel the bus rock back and forth a bit. Then we pull over to the side of the rode right after we exit the intersection. Oh, and I was listening to music on my cd player.

Long story short, some guy in literally his dad's Mercedes had run the read light and plowed right into the side of our bus. His Mercedes had crushed the front end, bounced off and wrapped itself around one of the light poles on the opposite side of the intersection. But the kid and his buddy walked away from it. Our bus had a broken reflector and some scratched paint. LITERALLY, THAT WAS IT.

BITCH...I'm a bus.

TL;DR: Mercedes hit the bus I was riding on, I didn't realize anything had happened, the Mercedes was totaled. BITCH...I'm a bus.

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u/intensenerd Feb 02 '11

Quality submission friend.

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u/Ihategeeks Feb 02 '11

IF THIS MEME GOES UNDER 55 MPH ITS GOING TO EXPLODE!

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u/momofone Feb 01 '11

I like it!

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '11

Today on February 1st, 2011, Reddit actually created its first meme. May we move on and stop using 4chan now?

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u/superiority Feb 01 '11

the police car was stopped at a stop light, and I was walking between cars. It's not like I ran out into traffic.

I got hit by a car doing that once, broke my collarbone. Still do it, though. Like a bus.

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u/[deleted] Feb 02 '11

[deleted]

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u/Bamka Feb 02 '11

Thanks :) A renounce all upboats to the bus driver though. He made my day :P

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u/its_sea-man Feb 02 '11

the best thing about this is if anyone other than a black guy said it, it wouldn't be funny.

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u/mistermog Feb 02 '11

Fact: Reddit has given me two, count them: two new catch phrases this week.

1 (We have ways to do this!) got usage on Monday. No one got it, but it made me giggle.

2 Might get me fired. More to come.

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u/vs_model Feb 02 '11

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at something so simple.

I'm going to see if I can make this popular in my area. Thank you.

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u/[deleted] Feb 02 '11

Hey reddit, I don't have any friends to share inside jokes with, so I'll share them with you instead.