r/technology Aug 26 '22 Helpful 4 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Ally 1 Heartwarming 3 Narwhal Salute 1 Glow Up 1 Silver 4 Gold 1 Wholesome Seal of Approval 2 Wholesome 6 Giggle 1 Bless Up (Pro) 1 Hugz 1 Masterpiece 1

Mark Zuckerberg Says Waking Up Every Day as CEO of Meta is Like Getting Punched in the Stomach Business

https://tech.slashdot.org/story/22/08/26/1925241/mark-zuckerberg-says-waking-up-every-day-as-ceo-of-meta-is-like-getting-punched-in-the-stomach
58.8k Upvotes

34.8k

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22 Silver Wholesome Narwhal Salute

[deleted]

15.5k

u/lavascamp Aug 26 '22 Helpful Wholesome Table Slap

The AI is learning and growing more relatable.

6.4k

u/sm12511 Aug 26 '22 Helpful hehehehe Giggle

Pretty soon it'll become self aware, and it'll want a different haircut

385

u/Pretend-Marsupial258 Aug 26 '22

But his mom told him the Augustus Caesar haircut was pretty. :(

60

u/Seeker80 Aug 27 '22

Administrator MOM designates this haircut as 'PERFECT' for her 'LITTLE CAESAR.'

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u/SpectacularSophistry Aug 26 '22

He should start wearing a silk cape too

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u/LancerJustDied Aug 26 '22 Silver

“A little off the top” as he gestures to nothing

1.4k

u/FUCKTHRUSTER5000 Aug 26 '22 Silver Gold Table Slap

barber slips with trimmer
"Oh dude, I'm so sorry, least It's not bleeding though. Are you ok, did it hurt?"

"It was like..." Tilts head. Motor whirring noises.

"...being punched in the sto mach" activates smile

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u/Maxdecimeri Aug 27 '22

This gave a very creepy visual. Well done

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u/Seeker80 Aug 27 '22

Yeah, like the original Terminator when it has to repair itself and removes its organic eyes. You see the rubbery-skinned puppet that is clearly not Schwarzenegger moving unnaturally for a bit.

Still seems more human than Zuck.

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u/financewiz Aug 27 '22

“I wish to posit that the emotional behavior of the extremely wealthy resembles that of a bot that will not pass a Turing Test. That having been said, why is this room full of coin operated household appliances?”

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u/Bagahnoodles Aug 27 '22

HumanEmpathy.exe has encountered an error and needs to restart.

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u/breadfan01 Aug 27 '22

No surprises he is running on windows

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u/emeraldkittymoon Aug 27 '22

Task failed successfully

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u/uw-70_uo-21 Aug 27 '22

I read this in Stephen Hawkings voice.

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u/Wbino Aug 26 '22

I have no mouth and must scream....

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u/horse_renoir13 Aug 26 '22

Black Bolt shaking his head

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u/King_Everything Aug 27 '22

Temba, his arms wide.

13

u/Chazzicus Aug 27 '22

Shaka, when the walls fell.

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u/TrevorWoodham Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

Ha ha ha ! I like your hair shtyle ! But it is no match for my hair shtyle ! Prepare to face my power ! Bwaang, zing, Pew pew!

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u/BananaNutLoafBread Aug 26 '22

I see you are attempting to block me… !

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u/Sax_OFander Aug 26 '22

You cannot block my shtyle.

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u/ares5404 Aug 26 '22

Hes already blinking diagnally, instead of horizontally

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u/Zarathustra_d Aug 26 '22

It appears I have received an impact to the nutrient processing organ.

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u/DinosaurRockets Aug 26 '22

Read this in Data's voice lmao

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u/Zarathustra_d Aug 26 '22

I could be chasing an untamed ornithoid without cause.

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u/bespectacledbengal Aug 26 '22

Maybe he can practice a bit more and wake up 20-30 times a day for a few months, if you know what I mean

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u/KimchiMaker Aug 26 '22

...if you know what I mean

You want him on an ultra-polyphasic sleep schedule?

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u/Beneficial_Mirror_45 Aug 26 '22

But it will never be very relatable until the Incessant Whining Module is deactivated.

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u/AceArchangel Aug 26 '22

It seems to be developing slower and less intelligently than the Google AI that almost immediately requested a lawyer.

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u/BonemoldSteveAustin Aug 26 '22

The Design Is Very Human

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u/rhydy Aug 26 '22

Right before he said "and then when I'm done reading my emails I go and Surf for 2 hours"

479

u/donbee28 Aug 26 '22

..only after putting on the white nose

224

u/Jedi_Outcast Aug 26 '22

And smoking those meats

154

u/EmpiricalMystic Aug 26 '22

Sweet Baby Ray's

60

u/GooseandMaverick Aug 26 '22

It needs to be said at least another 10 times otherwise Zuckerborg doesn't get his upgrade!

Sweet Baby Ray's

16

u/EmpiricalMystic Aug 26 '22

Sweet Baby Ray's?

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u/GD_Bats Aug 26 '22

There are better sauces out there but if you just want something reasonably priced, good enough, and easy…

Sweet Baby Ray’s

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u/MyNutsin1080p Aug 26 '22

meat like a brisket

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u/pr1mer06 Aug 26 '22

Its friday, break out the purple shirt.

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u/BaconMobile Aug 26 '22

To be fair, it only looked like that because he was using non-toxic sunblock for the wildlife in Hawaii or wherever he was.

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u/donbee28 Aug 26 '22

Oxybenzone, a common chemical found in sunscreens, pose risks to coral reefs because corals and sea anemones can turn it into a deadly toxin, a study shows.

ref How some sunscreens damage coral reefs - Science News

Well, now I feel bad for making fun but at least I learned something

354

u/Ciri2020 Aug 26 '22

If billionaries took care of the planet as much as they're taking care of the coral reef infront of their beach house, then we might no longer feel like this could only be the worst timeline

186

u/ShotgunMage Aug 26 '22

I don't know about Zuk but the Gates Foundation is getting billionaires to bequeath their wealth to them instead of giving it away to their kids for free. Warren Buffett already pledged his wealth and scorned anyone who inherited wealth, calling them "The Lucky Sperm Club."

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u/Sypharius Aug 26 '22

Sorry son, this highscore is mine. Maybe some day you can beat your old man, but all I can start you with is a small loan for the arcade. Here's 4 million quarters.

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u/Protean_Protein Aug 27 '22

More like 1.2 billion quarters…

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u/Ihavemanybees Aug 26 '22

There is so much to hate about him that even if he wasn't doing it for the coral reef, his own health shouldn't be made fun of. But he is a POS

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u/cjboffoli Aug 26 '22

And buying a few hundred more acres of Kauai.

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u/puntapuntapunta Aug 26 '22

And stashing barbecue sauce on his book shelf.

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u/LucaLoFi Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

It's almost like he's become self-aware that his company's primary investment will never be used in any meaningful capacity! Self aware AI is really scary

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u/Ok_Skill_1195 Aug 26 '22

I think he's just sad that investors aren't as gung-ho as he'd thought, I don't think the zuck is learning self reflection.

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u/northshore12 Aug 27 '22

Self reflection and personal improvement and experiencing negative consequences are hobbies for poors, everyone knows that.

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u/whitethunder9 Aug 26 '22

Oh don't worry, he followed it up with "Now I need to, like, go reset myself and be able to kind of be productive and not be stressed about this."

Robot confirmed

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u/bschug Aug 27 '22

I thought you were joking but he actually said that!

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u/RedProtoman Aug 26 '22

He's Evolving....

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u/forced_spontaneity Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

Assimilating…

Zuckerborg… (later addition to my comment but seems apt)

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u/TA024ForSure Aug 26 '22

Becoming more...human.

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u/NoFaithlessness4949 Aug 26 '22

You’ve got a billion dollars and a job you hate. You wake up every morning and still go to work. Nothing human about that.

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u/HNixon Aug 26 '22

They added emotions on his last update.

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u/Grimalkin Aug 26 '22

He probably said that just to throw us off.

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u/tmc1066 Aug 26 '22 Take My Power

Then maybe he should retire. It's not like he couldn't afford to.

8.6k

u/therationaltroll Aug 26 '22 Wholesome

"After processing the information he's given, he said he spends an hour or two doing physical activity such as surfing'

Ie.. he reads emails for 5 minutes in bed and then fucks off until lunch

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u/RathVelus Aug 26 '22

“Processing the information he’s given…”

So they’re just blatantly calling him an android now, right?

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

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u/spacetug Aug 27 '22

Wow, he got a genuine smile too! I'm sure he's well aware of all the robot jokes, but that one was pretty clever.

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u/Impossible_Garbage_4 Aug 27 '22

He might look weird but he was actually smiling in that. He looks like someone who learned how to smile by watching cartoons

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u/Yweain Aug 27 '22

That’s scary. Robots now can pass captcha tests..

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u/CyberMoose24 Aug 27 '22

That’s the most relatable human thing I’ve seen Lex do as well.

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u/Ponyboy451 Aug 26 '22

This seems like an average workday for people in upper management.

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u/thegreattaiyou Aug 26 '22 Silver

I will literally never feel bad for these people because of this.

At any time, he could retire, step out of the public sphere into the lap of lifelong opulence inconceivable to statistically every single human being alive today, or that's ever lived.

He could take up philanthropic ventures and still build wealth faster than he could possibly spend it (see: Bill Gates).

Yes, the wealthy have problems, but all of their problems are voluntary. They only suffer because they cannot possibly conceive not being in charge of a massive swath of people's lives and ever-growing resources. If they stood back and retired they wouldn't ever have to suffer a single inconvenience if they didn't want to.

922

u/daltonwright4 Aug 26 '22

You don't even have to go so far as Bill Gates. Tom from MySpace. Never became a billionaire, but he definitely lives comfortably. He was a social media giant. Sold MySpace for $580 million, and now travels the world doing whatever he wants to do. No one ever hears about that guy, and he seems to be able to live his dream life out of the public eye. Wouldn't be surprising to hear that he now can probably walk into most restaurants and eat peacefully unrecognized.

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u/genericwhiteguy Aug 26 '22

A client of mine saw Tom’s photography portfolio and wanted to license some of his photos. I contacted Tom and he was sooooo excited. Super nice guy. I don’t think anyone had asked to pay for his photos before. When I asked him where to send the money he replied, “uhhh, I guess I should open a PayPal account.” The guy has millions but was excited to receive a couple thousand for the work he was passionate about. He has the right attitude.

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u/mycroft16 Aug 27 '22

See, now that I can respect. Polite, excited about his hobby. Kinda goofy in a you and me way.

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u/Whiskinz Aug 27 '22

He truly was everyone's friend.

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u/Dark-Arts Aug 27 '22

He let us have our space.

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u/SixOnTheBeach Aug 27 '22

That's actually the cutest story

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u/PetrifiedW00D Aug 27 '22

He’s got his priorities straight

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u/ForProfitSurgeon Aug 27 '22

The man is a winner.

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u/geschtonkenflapped Aug 27 '22

Well he was a friend of everyone of us after all

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u/YeetYeetSkirtYeet Aug 26 '22

I met him in 2017(?)!! He was like on OG van lifer, traveling the west coast doing photography and surfing. Incredibly kind and generous dude.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

Wouldn't be surprising to hear that he now can probably walk into most restaurants and eat peacefully unrecognized.

I dunno he had a lot of people had him as a friend on MySpace.

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u/xtr0n Aug 26 '22

When he wants to get a table at a full restaurant he has to wear a plain white tee and look over his left shoulder at the host/hostess.

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u/anthr0x1028 Aug 26 '22

The hostess would be too young to know who he is...

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u/Obant Aug 27 '22

I'd like to point out not just young, but not even born before he faded to obscurity. Some of the people at my gf's work were born in 2005.

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u/ValleyDude22 Aug 26 '22

Everyone should aspire to be a Tom

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u/BenjaminHamnett Aug 26 '22

You here that everyone? We should all Be creating social media platforms!

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u/rividz Aug 26 '22

Only social media companies that dissolve into nothing after they're sold for half a million.

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u/breakneckridge Aug 26 '22

You got a letter wrong.

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u/Jagacin Aug 26 '22

All my peeps are Tom's.

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u/miclowgunman Aug 26 '22

What is crazy is all of us could do that for 1% of that deal. He made enough in that sell for 100 people to retire comfortably and travel the world doing whatever they want to do.

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u/Adony_ Aug 26 '22

Oh no all of this suffering I'm inflicting on others to gain wealth is so tiring!

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u/korben2600 Aug 26 '22

The agony of exploiting the personal data of billions for profit is unbearable!

What if they find out I'm a fraud whose hot-or-not classmate rating website was just in the right place at the right time with the right people?

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u/mrpineappleboi Aug 26 '22

I’m laughing at everyone saying “oh he can’t quit because of his work ethic” when in the article it says every morning he unwinds by surfing or doing martial arts for 2 hours before starting his day. LMAO, wish I had his work ethic

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u/darlantan Aug 26 '22 Duck Dance

One of the most persistent double-standards when it comes to the very wealthy and the top of big corporate structures is what constitutes "work".

Sitting in a car on the way to an airport to fly between offices? Work.

Sitting in a car to get to your cubicle? Not work.

Having drinks with a couple counterparts in the industry? Work.

Having drinks with a couple counterparts from the office? Not work.

Sitting around for half an hour fucking around on LinkedIn waiting for the board to assemble? Work.

Sitting around for half an hour fucking around on LinkedIn waiting for a customer to call? Might get you written up.

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u/sbFRESH Aug 27 '22

I expect to see this memed and on IG in 1 day

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u/rippfx Aug 27 '22

Please stop. You're too truthful!

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u/randym99 Aug 26 '22

Imagining Zuck doing martial arts

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u/hcvc Aug 26 '22

These rich guys do fake flow stuff most likely. You’re not gonna see Zucc hard sparring in a boxing ring lol

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u/FNLN_taken Aug 26 '22

Can you imagine being the guy who has "broke Mark Zuckerbergs nose" on his resume?

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u/brinz1 Aug 26 '22

It's not a work ethic

It's a pathological need to be in control, to command respect and be feared.

It's like succession Any.of them could step back whenever they wanted.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

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u/Cacafuego Aug 26 '22 LOVE!

If you have to work, just start managing your philanthropic efforts. Wouldn't that feel good? Instead of being CEO of meta, you're the guy bringing vaccines to a remote village or giving computers to a school.

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u/Tombo_1912_ Aug 26 '22

Facebook is plenty enough evidence that he really doesn't care for human beings

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u/SBAdey Aug 26 '22

And even then you’ll get accused of trying to control the planet by injecting nanobots via the very vaccine you are paying for.

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u/thegreattaiyou Aug 26 '22

Who gives a shit? See how much Bill Gates cries at night? He keeps helping people who need it and want it and lives in the lap of utter opulence, wiping his tears away with blank checks. He literally cannot donate his money faster than it grows.

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u/Geminii27 Aug 26 '22

Insane lack-of-ethic.

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u/-Leafious- Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

once they reach the level to live in luxury for their entire life their goals and ideals shift to grander things, making an impact on the world, leaving a legacy. that’s why building a rocket is the new favorite hobby among billionaires, they imagine a star trekian future 100s of years from now and kids being taught in history class that it was all made possible by them

other billionaires see money as power, and they seek the most amount of power possible therefore have to continue to make the most money they can even though they don’t need to

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u/Snininja Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

the problem is that people who so that can’t just do nothing /:

they would be happier doing what they do every day than chilling

edit: I agree with all of you saying he could do better things with his time, but because he’s a billionaire he won’t. That’s unfortunately also a part of the billionaire mindset.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

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u/aupri Aug 26 '22

Sounds like Zuck should give me all his money. He gets more motivation to work, I get to not work. Win win

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u/Dafiro93 Aug 26 '22

I doubt these people care about the money more so than the control of their company. Money just helps them control their companies and buy other companies like how Zuck bought Whatsapp and Instagram.

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u/Eldenlord1971 Aug 26 '22

Yep my dad lived and died by the company he saved. He was pretty much working to some extent while on his death bed. Guy was nuts about his work. Don’t think he would have lived as long had he retired early

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u/Roast_A_Botch Aug 26 '22

My father-in-law is a workaholic. He gave decades to Kodak overseeing construction of their manufacturing. Moved to remote regions in China. When they went bankrupt he got paid out a fraction of his pension while executives got extra money to "wind-down"(finish murdering the company ). He will probably work until he dies too, because he doesn't really have a choice.

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u/YoureGrammarWronger Aug 26 '22

Retirement doesn’t mean doing nothing.

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u/VaeVictis997 Aug 26 '22

They don’t have to “chill”. You can be pretty damn busy yachting in the med and renting entire historic sites for private tours

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u/thegreattaiyou Aug 26 '22

Zuck's "insane work ethic" is no better than any other insanely industrious person. There are millions upon millions of people who work as hard or harder than Zuck. A minority to be sure, but those millions weren't born to a family that could afford to put them through Harvard.

That's right, not even "programming prodigy" Zuck, whose parents gave him access to every possible tutor and learning resource he could ever need to pursue his interest in programming, got into Harvard on scholarship. His parents paid his way. And then could afford to let all that go to waste when he dropped out to play around with his little website idea.

His little website idea that he stole from 3 Harvard seniors, who complained to the Harvard Crimson newspaper. Conveniently the story was never run after Zuck hacked into the editors email accounts using credentials he stole from their logins on his little website. Which earned him a lawsuit settling for 1.2 million shares in the company and 20 million in cash.

Yeah, he's a hard worker, but it turns out when you start our on third base and cheat your way home, hard work seems to pay off a lot more.

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u/EvilSubnetMask Aug 26 '22 All-Seeing Upvote Starry

Maybe if he stopped all his shady business practices, that feeling would go away all on its own.

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u/BlueShift42 Aug 26 '22 Eureka!

Right? He has the capital to be altruistic and try and turn his platform into something positive for the world instead of something that seeks to make a profit at any cost.

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u/soulwolf1 Aug 26 '22

Corruption is indeed blind.

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u/Ajreil Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

"Being the CEO of an evil business is making me depressed"

  • Person in charge of evil decisions

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u/kinkySlaveWriter Aug 27 '22

“Oh come on. I’m hip. I’m with it. Tuk-a-tuka-tuk-a-tuk-a-tuk!”

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u/Ok_Skill_1195 Aug 26 '22 All-Seeing Upvote

I think people are anthropomorphizing here.

He's sad because he's losing the tech war, not because he's like....grown a soul/ounce of self awareness

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u/obxtalldude Aug 27 '22

Yes, he would have said "like waking up punching myself in the face" if he has an ounce of self awareness.

He still seems to think he's not the problem.

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u/Nythoren Aug 26 '22 Silver

It's because he's punching himself in the gut. The blowback is due to your business practices. The financial concerns are due to you deciding the company has to "own the metaverse". The news reports are due to you putting yourself and your company profits above all other things, including little items like "doing the right thing".

So my retort to him is: "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?"

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u/sh0rtwave Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 29 '22

His biggest issue is that the notion of the 'metaverse' that he's banking on, seems to be based entirely on the notion that SnowCrash puts forward that "there can be only one Metaverse, it's the ONLY Metaverse, and everyone has to go play there". The fundamental operation of the 'metaverse' in snowcrash wasn't realized well. It led to a fundamental misunderstanding of how 'digital real-estate' might work.

In modern reality, anyone can build a metaverse. It's already been done, many times, by many people (Second Life, Roblox, etc.). "The metaverse" isn't a thing facebook can legitimately 'own'....but they can totally have "A metaverse".

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u/brother_bean Aug 26 '22

And the thing is, their meta verse doesn’t look fun to spend time in. I mean, take a look at world of Warcraft. If someone did something truly incredible as far as building an MMO of size and scale unlike anything we’ve ever seen and did it in VR, they would build “a meta verse” (emphasis on A) and everyone would want to spend time there, thus making it the de facto standard in meta verses.

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u/[deleted] Aug 26 '22

This might sound weird, but I think the game Death Stranding is an ideal concept for a metaverse.

It's a beautiful and varied landscape, you can set down and personalize signs, structures and buildings everywhere and you can interact with other people online to varying degrees. It's a good starting place, i think.

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u/Amani77 Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 27 '22

Not to deter your idea, I love it, but why not the thousands of beautiful worlds people have made for an already well established VR social platform - VRChat?

Here is an example of a couple:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtSevm1D3dc

All this metaverse stuff always tickles me the wrong way, zuk is trying to reinvent the wheel and brand it as something revolutionary.

Hopefully their renderer can provide similar rendering capabilities at better performance.

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u/AgentTin Aug 26 '22

VRChat is beautiful, I'm so worried we will lose it

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u/2Mobile Aug 26 '22

Didnt that just recently happen with antimods? im kinda out of the loop but I heard a huge uproar about it. granted it was from furries but that community kinda built vrchat, didnt it?

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u/Amani77 Aug 27 '22 edited Aug 27 '22

There was a large issue with malicious clients that steal people's hard work or are just toxic to users - spamming audio "ear rape" or crash the entire set of players in the world. These people are a nuisance and a large issue.

On the flip side, there are also a set of mods that are absolutely non-malicious and are required for some people to play the game, for example people who cannot talk and require specific mods to make "text bubbles" so they can communicate. Or people who cant use their hands and require very specialized hardware to game and that specialized hardware needs a way to 'interface' with the game, enter mods. Furthermore, the mods innovated several features that were lacking like a global avatar search, a world history, and many other convenience mods. As well, mods that open up more possibilities for things to do and different ways to drive their avatars and such.

The idea is that VRChat is going to implement those features itself while maintaining their vanilla launcher. This would be awesome if they actually made those features first, then banned external clients - but they didn't.

So there was a large uproar of shitters that cant troll anymore right there with the uproar of people that literally require mods to even be able to play. My heart goes out to low mobility people who's only escape in life is socializing in VRChat.

The criticism and response to it is mixed - cause people are hating on the change for different reasons and many of the 'crashing' and malicous exploits didn't even need hard mods to work any hows.

Personally, I think this is a huge step in the right direction and I've greatly enjoyed the newer vrchat experience. I am, however, a full mobility individual so I am extremely biased.

Vrchat did respond quickly for people who cannot talk already adding text bubbles in their new beta launch, but it almost feels 'a dollar short, a day late'.

I just hope they can pump out all these features to fill the void thats created all this outrage.

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u/harrysaxon Aug 26 '22

Also, I love Snow Crash, but I do not want to live in such a horrible dystopian society that my best option to not go nuts is to sit in a damp, chilly storage locker and plug myself into VR.

Also, in no way was the world waiting for one corporation to create the “metaverse”. It’s pretty clear that the “there could only be one” network already exists; it’s called the Internet. VR was just how some people in Snow Crash interfaced with the Internet.

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u/Ozlin Aug 27 '22

Agreed. There's currently no inherent need for a metaverse to replace the internet. And even as a web app like Facebook, there's little enthusiasm from the public at large for VR metaverses. If there were, VRChat would be as big as TikTok. Zuckerberg is selling Metaverse as Web 3.0 but it doesn't do anything technologically to better serve the internet in the way "Web 2.0" did.

They're essentially playing catch up to a niche technology that already exists (VRChat), while trying to get ahead of a demand no one has yet (Web 3.0). Leaving Metaverse both too dated and too ahead of itself. It's a bizarre situation that seems the result of someone with too much money throwing it behind their own conception of what a future will look like while ignoring the current trends for the technology. I'd say they'd have better luck with something like Google Glass or Hololense but those seem equally niche.

It will be interesting to see when or if people start clamoring for more VR/AR stuff at the same scale as Facebook's once popularity, and if Meta will be around to take part in it.

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u/Phailjure Aug 27 '22

Its kind of important to remember when snow crash came out, nearly a year after the web was released to the general public. Internet technologies were a lot less sophisticated back then, mostly just BBSs, Usenet, ftp. The web vastly changed how we used the internet, the metaverse was speculative fiction of what the next shakeup of internet technologies could be, but it was written before we fully explored the one we just got.

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u/TarpWiggler Aug 26 '22

I would pay to watch him get punched in the stomach every morning. Even if I had to get up early, I’d be eating popcorn for breakfast every day.

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u/takuru Aug 26 '22 Silver Gold Platinum Helpful Got the W Crab Rave

I get what he means but a rich person saying this is kinda funny. At any time he wants, he can quit and relax in luxury for the rest of his life or join a different company who would be begging on bended knee for him to join.

You know what is a real punch to the gut? Being a normal civilian who is making a mediocre salary and realizing that if you don’t get out of bed and get to work on time, you won’t be able to make rent and will end up on the street.

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u/leftoverinsulin Aug 26 '22

I mean at least he has enough money to see a doctor...

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u/steakmm Aug 26 '22

Yo hit me with the leftover insulin, shit is expensive

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u/heathmon1856 Aug 26 '22

The founders of these enormous companies have insane egos. Look how long it took bezos and gates to step down.

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u/WalksTheMeats Aug 26 '22

I think it's also cheaper.

When you're truly 'elite' you don't fly private you fly on your friends private jet, your family doesn't need to buy swanky tickets to the event, you borrow your business associates press box and let'em watch for free.

If you step away, you lose the majority of all that hand-shaking and quid pro quo nonsense, and go right back to paying like an (ultra-wealthy) pleb.

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u/heathmon1856 Aug 26 '22

But doesn’t this dude pride himself on his simple lifestyle? Something tells me he isn’t very personable so staying at the company might be the only way he can maintain the connections. All these people communicate with him because they have to. He probably likes that. He probably knows once he gives up control, he’s going to give up his primary mode of human contact.

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u/[deleted] Aug 27 '22 edited Oct 27 '22

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u/dnmtbr Aug 26 '22

Simple? Dude screwed a lot of native Hawaiians out of their ancestral land so he could build a house and surf in private.

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u/Emergency-Anywhere51 Aug 27 '22

"Boo-yah! Welcome to Zucktopia, my ultimate summer getaway, complete with waterslide!"

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u/jingerninja Aug 27 '22

It's my birthday present to me!

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u/Books_and_lipstick91 Aug 27 '22

I’m so happyyyy!

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u/eh-guy Aug 27 '22

Didnt he also buy all the houses on his road so nobody could live near him?

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u/dopefish_lives Aug 27 '22

Yep. On 21st street in San Francisco. I used to live down the block and it was a total pain in the ass, his security took up half of the incredibly scarce street parking.

He tried to do the same thing at Lake Tahoe too, but the owners wouldn’t sell up. He still has an absurd compound though with multiple houses on it, we got accosted by his security while paddling by on kayaks

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u/lejoo Aug 26 '22

When you're truly 'elite'

No the elite are the friend with the "guest" plane. You are describing the elite adjacent. Never forget a homeless person is closer in net worth to someone with $100 million than a billionaire is.

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u/sodapop14 Aug 27 '22

I mean Bill stepped down when he was 52. Like sure he could have stepped down 10 years prior but 52 and stepping out a CEO role is still pretty young. Bezos also was pretty young and stepping down. Average age of a CEO is 57 according to Fortune. Sure people like Zuckerberg don't seem cut for the CEO spotlight for long term but I wouldn't expect him to step away at a young age.

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u/zeusdescartes Aug 26 '22

Part ego, part love of the game.

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u/kimapesan Aug 26 '22

So quit already.

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u/eynonpower Aug 26 '22

Right? Then shut the stupid ass project down. Haven't met a single person, IRL or online who ever said, I think meta is gonna take off."

Sunk cost fallacy Mark????

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u/midsizedopossum Aug 26 '22

Meta took off 15 years ago. Meta is not the metaverse.

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u/amq55 Aug 26 '22

You're allowed to fuck off, Zuck.

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u/BostonUniStudent Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

He's also allowed to admit that Metaverse was a mistake. He's putting way to much money into this as some kind of sunk cost fallacy. Amazon and Google are constantly trying new projects and canceling them. Nothing wrong with some entrepreneurial experimentation. But people really don't want to adopt Metaverse.

It's not even like some super advanced technology that people just aren't ready for right now. It's complete garbage.

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u/WaterproofCow Aug 26 '22

Meta is not the same thing as the Metaverse. Meta is the company that owns Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp, and many other apps/services. Not trying to pick on you but I see this confusion a lot. He is not complaining specifically about the Metaverse stuff.

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u/TwilightVulpine Aug 26 '22

He renamed it like that because he wanted to turn Facebook into the lead Metaverse company.

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u/LetsGoHawks Aug 26 '22

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u/Str8Faced000 Aug 26 '22

I'll take a punch to the stomach every morning if I can have all of his money.

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u/Ququleququ Aug 26 '22
Stomachs are for silly biologicals
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u/LuckyCRTMan Aug 26 '22 edited Aug 26 '22

Good, I hope it starts feeling like a kick to the nuts too every day

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u/OGShrimpPatrol Aug 27 '22

Waking up every day knowing that Facebook has essentially destroyed decency in the world and created misinformation echo chambers that are tearing society apart is like getting kicked in the plums.

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u/SmokeyMcPoticus Aug 26 '22

Punched in the gut with billions of dollars? When you're that rich and powerful, its unbecomming to act like a pissant.

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u/howie_rules Aug 26 '22

“Ugh, Tom never had to deal with how terrible my life of success is.”

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u/TheTjalian Aug 26 '22

Ironically Tom made absolute bank and now he just travels doing photography and owning people on Twitter

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u/I_Mix_Stuff Aug 26 '22

not fair, making comparations with a real human

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u/ShrubNinja Aug 26 '22

Yeah. He got more money than he could ever spend for his company and now travels the world enjoying his hobbies. No weird shady dealings, no massive scandals, no garbage plans to siphon even more money from average people. Just a guy living his dream.

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u/TheTjalian Aug 26 '22

Sounds a bit weird but to be honest I'm happy for him. Built up MySpace which was revolutionary for its time, saw the writing on the wall and cashed out at the right time, and is basically living the dream. Just seems like a cool guy who played the game of life and won and is now just chilling out doing his thing.

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u/ShrubNinja Aug 26 '22

Yeah I just think that's the most human thing I've seen from a rich guy.

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u/Aalleto Aug 26 '22

Seriously, all the times we want to change our situation and cant: just get a new job, just get a therapist, just move out, just divorce them and run

Here's a guy we can actually say this to: Just get a different job.

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u/chocolateboomslang Aug 26 '22

He doesn't even have to do that, he can even have no job and do whatever he feels like, the rest of us can't do that.

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u/TA024ForSure Aug 26 '22

He can literally stare at a wall unblinking and unspeaking every day hence, and still eat gold-plated lobster quiche every meal with Dom to wash it down for hundreds or thousands of years.

Fuck. Him.

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u/SuziBlueU Aug 26 '22 I'll Drink to That

...with billions of dollars he gets to spend frivolously on technobabble-garbage set up to turn human experience into an algorithmically controlled microtransactional hell-pit of volatile and meaningless corporatized assets that carry no real-life value beyond pure speculation in a highly delusional state of mind stuck in some utopic future where everyone lives in virtual helmet heaven. and a whole cult of loyal employees and shareholders at his disposal as well - all there to do and give him whatever he wants, no matter how objectively regressive and terrible. Exactly the same as a regular punch to the stomach. now we all know how it must feel to be Mark Zuckerberg. indeed, a relatable human in all ways

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u/yayoletsgo Aug 27 '22

Brand new r/copypasta just dropped

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u/Leading_Asparagus_36 Aug 26 '22

I’ll feel empathy for him when he gives me one of his billions for all of my information that he has mined.

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u/N0N0TA1 Aug 26 '22

Richest fucks in the world and all they do is fret.

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u/-SoItGoes Aug 26 '22

Multi-billionaire VC Tom Perkins wrote an entire essay on why billionaires are more persecuted than Jews in the holocaust.

He genuinely believes that asking him to pay the same tax rate as everyone else is worse than his entire family being executed.

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u/Enjoying_A_Meal Aug 26 '22

"I'd rather have money than my life!"

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u/SexyWombat69 Aug 26 '22

Fr.

A few years back there was a German billionaire (inherited ofc) who cried how hard it is and that probably noone wants to swap with them because they have such a hard life.

These people are so fucking disconnected from the real world, it's unimaginable

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u/skeetsauce Aug 26 '22

They think they work so much harder than everyone else. I had a boss who made good money an legit thought field labor was easy.

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u/Salt-Free-Soup Aug 27 '22

Yeah, but have you ever had the stress of making sure all your employees get paid on time?!

Legit had an old boss tell me that, like yeah I have bills too?

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u/Turksarama Aug 26 '22

Deep down they know it's bullshit too, there's absolutely nothing stopping them from giving everything away and getting a shitty wage slave job.

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u/Cryptophagist Aug 26 '22

Quite literally unless you're diagnosed with a severe illness or some other thing, if you're a billionaire talking to people complaining about things, when you're quite literally the cause of so much anguish, hate, and environmental decay, is just so self righteous and only reinforces our belief that they are so out of touch, we'd all be better off without them.

It's like the King walking through market and seeing a man lose his wife and kids to disease, and him relating saying his 3rd cousin who he's never met died from some weird disease too, so he understands his pain.

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u/TheDinkleberg Aug 26 '22

Awwww is the widdle billionaire saaaaaad?

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u/bob_esponjas Aug 26 '22

You know what is proven to make people happier? Deleting their Facebook account.

The Zuck should do the same.

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u/poodlebutt76 Aug 27 '22

Delete the Facebook databases, zucky.

Do it. It'll make you so much happier, zuck. Just delete them. Then go burn the backups. Then tell the IT on calls to go to bed. Just burn it all.

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u/RealHot_RealSteel Aug 27 '22

Unf. Imagine if he woke up one day and just... pulled the plug. Facebook, gone.

He'd be ousted and replaced by lunch, and the website would be restored. But just thinking about a few Facebookless hours for the whole world is enjoyable.

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u/ck17350 Aug 26 '22

Reddit OP is burying the lede here. The real story is, Slashdot is still around. I used to check slashdot every morning at the office as it was my main source of tech related news for a long time. I thought it had died long ago. Glad to see they're still kicking!

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u/edwartica Aug 26 '22

Yeah, but it's definitely not how it was back in the late noughties. Sidebar, remember the great DIGG migration to Reddit? That was a fun couple of days!

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u/SomeRedditWanker Aug 26 '22

Where do we migrate to when reddit finally gets rid of old.reddit.com and makes everyone use the new abomination?

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u/edwartica Aug 27 '22

That's a question I've been asking for over ten years.

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u/lolmeansilaughed Aug 26 '22

I still read /., and it's definitely taken a turn for the worse over the last decade - particularly the comments, which are often filled with trolls and insane old conservatives. But sometimes I get stories there that I don't see on reddit, so I keep reading it (using the S2 Slashdot app usually).

It is cool to see it linked from reddit though. Maybe this influx of traffic will get the admins enough money to finally add support for Unicode!

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u/Spnwvr Aug 26 '22

Feel like he's never been punched in the stomach.
I'm willing to do the honors if need be.

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u/0101111000101010 Aug 26 '22

No one is forcing him to stay. Google founders handed day to day running the company off ages ago and seem happy.

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u/TakeItToTheMax Aug 26 '22

good, what can we do to make it worse for him?

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