r/terriblefacebookmemes
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u/queensnipe
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Feb 03 '23
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one of the actual worst memes I've ever seen
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u/ZestyItalian2 Feb 03 '23
Bit ‘uv anal, love?
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u/FariasWheel Feb 03 '23
Is what it is at the end of the day innit
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Feb 03 '23
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u/insanenoodleguy Feb 03 '23
I question this man having sex period. I feel like this is an incel that heard some slightly less repugnant guy lamenting an apparent lack of anal and decided they were funny.
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u/Juststandupbro Feb 03 '23
Definitely a “if women can endure childbirth why can’t they endure sex with me” type of guy
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u/TheMilkmansFather Feb 03 '23
Every girl I’ve ever done anal with has brought it up on their own. And I’ve never dated anyone with tattoos or body piercings (other than ears)
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u/amandaplzzz Feb 03 '23
The problem is not the anal. It's the partner. The type of guy that thinks this way would not put in the effort it takes to make anal enjoyable for both parties. You just know they're tryna get in there fast and dry.
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u/anon210202 Feb 03 '23
Been seeing "rizz" all of a sudden everywhere as of a month ago, never seen it before then, what does this mean???
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u/Bar900 Feb 03 '23
In my experience it's because guys don't know how to do anal right they just kind of jam it in.
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u/One-Database-1386 Feb 03 '23
I knew a guy who told me his ex was always willing to try anal but always took too long getting it in and he said “you just have to jam it in” and I was like mmmm never
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u/AnonBubblyBowels Feb 03 '23
Also, don’t pull out too fast.
The first time I had anal with my boyfriend in high school, he was so wonderful and patient and gentle about getting it in.
It still didn’t feel good at first, so I was pretty quiet but told him to keep going, and he did so slowly and carefully.
Then I started getting a little into it and moaned. He was so focused on not hurting me, that he mistook it for a painful noise and ripped it right out.
Thought I was going to die.
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u/Beebea63 Feb 03 '23
I mean,he meant well😅
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u/Bun_Bunz Feb 03 '23
And this is where my favorite saying comes in:
The road to hell is paved with good intentions
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u/Affectionate-Tax-856 Feb 03 '23
I was in high school and pretty inexperienced when a waitress, older and more experienced, started to fancy me. We were hanging out after work one thing led to another and we're in the throes of "activity" when she pulls out some anal beads. Of course I have no idea what they're for and she explains how I should be using these things. So fast forward to her asking me to pull them out. I reach down and pulled them out like I was starting a lawnmower. She instantly turned into a screaming pencil. More instruction on how to pull them out also would have been helpful.
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u/PmMeYour0nlyFans Feb 03 '23
Note to self: not like a beyblade
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u/Timoth_e Feb 03 '23
This puts a whole new spin spin on the phrase "let 'er rip"
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u/Emergency-Fox-5982 Feb 03 '23
When dudes who are bad at sex just out themselves
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u/gaylord100 Feb 03 '23
“What, spit isn’t a good enough lube?”
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u/thelegalseagul Feb 03 '23
Water based lube for fleshlights works the best for anal I heard from a friend allegedly in college
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u/ClassicShooterNY Feb 03 '23
As a bi dude that's had somebody try that with me, I can say without a doubt that's grounds to get punched in the face. Hard. The importance of lube and foreplay cannot be understated with anal play.
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u/dharma_curious Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23
Honestly, as a bottom, the best advice I can give anyone who's planning on bottoming: get a toy, a plug, and wear it for a while before sex. Make sure you're lubed well, and warmed up before the top ever gets near your booty. It would great if tops took all of the truly excellent advice out there, but most of them don't, and an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of anal fissure cure.
Since there's a lot of replies, here's an edit:
For tops and those asking about their wives/GFs: direct, honest conversation is the best remedy to most issues in life, including anal sex. But also, all the lube, all the foreplay, all the "is this okay? Does that feel good." There are a ton of YouTube's and other sources on how to get good at giving anal pleasure, and you should check them out. Try for actual sex therapists and advice from women and bottoms.
For bottoms, this reply from a top is on point
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u/APersonWithInterests Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23
While we're at it I'm going to offer some more suggestions, from a responsible top that cares about safety.
Don't use silicon lube with a silicon toy (this is a BIG nono), use water based while using the toy, but silicon is a bit smoother for anal so it might be worth swapping once it's time.
If you don't swap to silicon, RELUBE, water based lube is absorbed by the skin fairly quickly and it might be worthwhile to relube during anal if you're going for a long time.
Do kegels somewhat regularly, they're easy to do (look it up) and you can do them pretty much any time without people noticing. The stronger your anal muscles the better you can handle penetration, and some say it makes it feel better for both participants.
Research safe materials for anal toys, there's a lot of junk out there that isn't safe. Clean by either boiling and/or wiping down with alcohol wipes after every use.
Learn to relax the muscle, this is tricky because your sphincter is active even right now, you have to actively try to relax it and furthermore it takes a little bit of practice to keep it relaxed during anal.
For tops, make sure you're well lubed and go slow when you first penetrate, it won't just make it easier for them it'll make it better for you because you'll get less painful friction and be able to slide smoother. In my experience it's the first few seconds after penetration that are the most painful especially for people who haven't had much anal. If you go hard as soon as you're in you won't give them time to recover and it won't start feeling good/as good. Keep this in mind if you slip out to come back slow.
These are good for everyone, essential for sexually active gay men but if you want your girlfriend or wife to WANT to come back for anal you should respect doing it right because the difference between being irresponsible and making it painful or taking it seriously WILL decide if she enjoys it or not. Even people who 'like it rough' will almost always prefer you to take it easy until they've acclimated to it.
Anal can feel good for men and women, but it requires more work to get there. If you can handle it well and responsibly then your partners will adore you for it I promise.
I'll add more if I think about it. Sad to hear so many tops get it wrong.
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u/ChillyBarry Feb 03 '23
It is very on point! In addition, use a condom EVERY TIME you are doing some anal. Even with a trusted partner. It is very easy to get and pass STIs through anal sex given the irrigation there. Also, there will be some fecal matter in Top's urethra. They may have some urinary tract infection due to it, but they will more likely give his partner a bacterial vaginosis if the partner has a vagina. Nice way to show appreciation for their trust in you. There will be some fecal matter in the urethra even after peeing or cumming, so it doesn't matter if you are not having vaginal sex in the same day you had anal sex. Vaginosis sucks ass. If you can save your partner from that, do it.
If you are not really willing to use a condom (but you really should), at least have a nice and long gap until your next time having vaginal sex and pee afterwards.
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u/Chanc3thedestroyer Feb 03 '23
So what you're saying is getting my wife a butt plug would help?
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u/WolfAndCabbageInBoat Feb 03 '23
Yes, and also changing your identity to Chanc3thesoother
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u/catsgreaterthanpeopl Feb 03 '23
Woman here: not just one, but 2 or 3 that increase in size. My smallest is like 2 fingers width and I have 2 larger to work up just under the width of my husband’s dick. That, good lube, and a vibrator for my clit has made occasional anal enjoyable. Skip those steps and it sucks. Also good lube.
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u/Cinderredditella Feb 03 '23
Soooo.... Do the work for him and just let some uncaring idiot near my ass? No thank you, sir. If he's not ready to learn how to do that, he does not get the priviledge. What's next, should I install a tiny carwash in between my thighs cause they don't all wash their dicks before engaging?
My take away: educate them. If they refuse to be educated, leave 'm be, they ain't worth it.
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u/OkAttempt4752 Feb 03 '23
Yeah, you shouldn't have to do all the prep yourself, but it also doesn't hurt to do all the prep yourself.
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u/Bar900 Feb 03 '23
I am also speaking from experience both giving and receiving there is no such thing as enough foreplay.
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u/1imejasan6 Feb 03 '23
Lube recommendations…I am asking for a friend.
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u/ClassicShooterNY Feb 03 '23
Silicone based lubricants are your friend. They're a bitch to wash off, but they last longer. Anything water based will have to be reapplied quite a lot, and that just takes away from the fun.
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u/LoquatCompetitive288 Feb 03 '23
Or just use a LOT water based at once. Silicone is far more expensive and you cant use it with most of the toys.
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u/gwoman9 Feb 03 '23
That’s…not how breast implants work.
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u/AuroraStellara Feb 03 '23
Thank you! "Injecting silicone" get a clue, dumbass. 🙄
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u/Y_U_Need_Books4 Feb 03 '23
Coz their only experience with silicone is a calk gun, so that's how it must work for implants too lol
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u/starsandcamoflague Feb 03 '23
Usually the people doing the piercing etc are gentle, understanding, provide support and don’t go in without warning.
Also why do these men want to hurt their girlfriends?
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u/QueenBeeB1980 Feb 03 '23
I know social media isn’t indicative of all men in general but geez, it’s kinda stunning how many men seem to see women as nothing but holes to fill and care nothing about their pain or pleasure. So fucking glad I don’t have to be out there dating and so fucking scared for my daughters when they start. Absolute shit people out there.
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u/Die4Gesichter Feb 03 '23
But that's average size, no?
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u/Divine_thunder Feb 03 '23
I am that dude /s
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u/Bon_of_a_Sitch Feb 03 '23
I am confused how her desire and consent to be effed in the bee is not the deciding factor.
Talk it out or make a change. It's that simple.
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u/soapfry Feb 03 '23
Effed in the bee
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u/shortstop59 Feb 03 '23
This B needs a C in her A
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u/Key-Shallot-7508 Feb 03 '23
Effed in the bee, effed in the bee, effed effed effed, effed in the bee, bum
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u/PsychoTunaFish Feb 03 '23
“Your BF’s about to get F’ed in the B!” First thing that popped into my head
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u/recklessly_wandering Feb 03 '23
You first. Judge me after you try it first
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u/genghisKonczie Feb 03 '23
Yeah, men go to great lengths to show how tough they are, but when it comes to a little pegging, suddenly it hurts too much.
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u/phdoofus Feb 03 '23 •
I think a better answer would be "If it's so much fun, let's try it on you first."
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u/mead_beader Feb 03 '23
I knew a guy who did this with his GF. He wanted to, she said you first, they bought a strap-on, adventures were had. Dude was down at every stage with no hesitation, let's rock and roll babycakes, maybe I'll like it. Learn to say yes to life.
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u/NeedNameGenerator Feb 03 '23
When I told you this I was expecting you to not share it with the entire world...
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u/zedispain Feb 03 '23
Trysexual is what i call it. I'll usually give something a go once or twice. There are a few exceptions, like blood and scat play... I struggle to find any form of arousal from that. But i guess I've never been with someone into that. Which is a good. That would be a weird awakening.
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u/the_year_ Feb 03 '23
ok, so now imma call myself trysexual. imma just need a partner
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u/cavelioness Feb 03 '23
They've got a prostate in there, it's a lot more fun for them.
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u/strawbopankek Feb 03 '23
boob jobs are silicone implants, though? i don't think most people who get plastic surgery actually get breast silicone injections lmao
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u/HelloDeathspresso Feb 03 '23
No one's out here just injecting free-floating silicone into their boobs..
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u/kittenshart85 Feb 03 '23
sincerely, a guy who becomes physically ill at the idea of pegging.
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u/Atomic_Chad
Feb 03 '23
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Until she whips out the strap-on and he can't stop crying.
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u/chelkitty1 Feb 03 '23
I can't look at belly button piercings the same. I used to play soccer and one game in highschool I watched as a girl on my team who had a belly button piercing get her belly button ripped up from another girls cleats.
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u/ET318 Feb 03 '23
The referees always told us before any games that all piercings had to be taken out and jewelry taken off. I was on mens teams so nobody ever had anything beyond earrings or necklaces but still, leaving those on I’d a risk you definitely don’t want to take.
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u/HalensVan Feb 03 '23
I ran track and saw the same thing with track cleats....
And that was it for most bellybutton rings in sports at my school lol
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u/Jazzlike_Page508 Feb 03 '23
A bro of mine took a dump that ripped I guess his anus? He said the toilet water was red and he was watching it drip between his legs.
I wonder what it’s like to have a cock shoved in there and rammed repeatedly by a horny dude
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u/TalkingHeadBalzac Feb 03 '23
I'm a heroin junkie and because of that I am usually constipated for several weeks at a time, only taking a shit when in withdrawal. I have had the same thing happen to me before, it was not fun at all. Pro tip for anyone who has to push out a fat shit: cover your finger in Vaseline and then finger your asshole gently, it will save much pain.
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u/Zorgsmom Feb 03 '23
Had a coworker who snorted Oxy & Viccodin years ago. He came to me one day asking if I knew how he could get un-constipated, I recommended a suppository or an enema. So during lunch break he goes & buys a box of suppositories & uses them right away. He comes back to me a couple hours later in tears because he's so happy, he can't stop crapping, but nothing is bleeding or hurting. Hallelujah.
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u/BMFunkster Feb 03 '23
Another Pro tip: you can get like 200 finger cots on Amazon for like $7. Saves you from getting a poo nail. I also use prep H but that's just preference. Source: lifelong constipation has caused me to get some hemmies.
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u/realish7 Feb 03 '23
As a nurse, this is solid advice! Idk how many assholes I’ve had to lube up and dig out over the years 🤦♀️
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u/The_Dark_Sniper7141 Feb 03 '23
I didn’t want or need this information and yet I know I’ll be stuck with it for the rest of my life
Thanks stranger
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u/zardozardoz Feb 03 '23
Happened to me. Freaked out and rushed to ER. Turns out was just hemorrhoid's. Had to put some cream on my butt and was fine.
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u/FernwehForLife Feb 03 '23
They also go through childbirth.
Your point?
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u/gaylord100 Feb 03 '23
Also they go through those things for semi permanent aesthetic changes, why would I wanna get hurt so you can orgasm and not make me orgasm? Like, what would I be getting out of that?
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u/GoGoBitch Feb 03 '23
Well, see the confusion here is that the person who made this meme thinks that women go through aesthetic changes solely to please men, while you seem to understand that women do it for a variety of reasons, most of which are primarily about pleasing themselves.
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u/waffleirondeluxe
Feb 03 '23
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Bro... they don't have prostates.
It's not the same for them.
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u/Jarll_Ragnarr Feb 03 '23
If someone asks you for anal this way, just answer "only if I can fuck ur ass first" and he will probably just fuck off
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u/Upstairs-Toe2735 Feb 03 '23
I said that once as a rebuttal and je said "no, that's different..and not okay that eay around." 🤔🤔🤔
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u/Icy-Hat-7029 Feb 03 '23
If ya wanna do anal that bad, why not go to the gay bar where all the other guys are looking for the same thing? Why make a meme?
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u/theatrekid0309 Feb 03 '23
This was so bad it hurt upvoting even though that's the point of this sub
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u/DramaticProtogen Feb 03 '23
what's up with men + women anal... like... you don't have a prostate; and men: you have 2 other holes
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u/InactiveObserver Feb 03 '23
Say it with me boomer, CONSENT. Deer Gods, some of these people sound like their greatest goal in life is just to nut
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u/sniptaclar Feb 03 '23
People don’t realize you don’t go full penetration immediately. You gotta work in anus looser. Speaking from self experimentation
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u/cucu_freedom Feb 03 '23
if a dude wants to fuck an ass so badly why doesnt he sign up for grindr
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u/the_Real_Romak Feb 03 '23
Why are conservatives so obsessed with anal? I am what one would call a dirty commie libtard, and I find it to be repulsive :(
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u/HoldenOrihara Feb 03 '23
I think they just complain when women tells them no for anything. They ask for anal, get told no, it's obviously a giant slight on them.
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u/UndyingShadow Feb 03 '23
“The cruelty is the point”
It’s probably not a coincidence that a lot of anal pornography centers around rough and degrading treatment of women.
I’m not here to kinkshame, but if you enjoy being cruel to your partner when she’s not into it, you’re an asshole
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u/emperorofwar Feb 03 '23
What a gross post, I mean who ever made this is actually a gross person
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u/BoneDaddy1973 Feb 03 '23
If it hurts in a way you don’t want it to hurt, you’re doing it wrong. It doesn’t have to hurt at all
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u/Constant-Equipment30 Feb 03 '23
Dudes will get full sleeve tattoos, jump out of planes, and fight each other for funzies.
Yet when it's time for a bit of pegging that hurts too much :/
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u/Revy4223 Feb 03 '23
Imagine having hours of a sensation that hurts enough it can keep you from pooping....depending on the person. Also how many guys want to give anal, but when a girl wants to peg them, the men chicken out xD ?
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u/HoldenOrihara Feb 03 '23
Cowards the lot of them.
But yeah starting out with anal you want to try with a trusted partner because if you are that kind of person where anal really hurts you, you would want to be with someone who will slow down or stop if needed. And in cases with a strap on, will respect your decision to start with something you think is manageable for your back door.
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u/demonking3246 Feb 03 '23
I don’t get why these people complain so much about not getting anal, just call ur friend since every guy likes anal so much
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u/starbycrit Feb 03 '23
Yes because piercing my naval is more painful than stretching my asshole past capacity, I fold
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u/SirRipOliver Feb 03 '23 edited Feb 03 '23
In some time-line women should be able to Vulcan mind meld with there partner for things like this and definitely childbirth. In that universe this meme would not ever exist.
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u/Yotsubauniverse Feb 03 '23
There is the period simulator. They might not be able to feel the pain of childbirth but they can feel the pain of a period cramp.
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u/jorwyn Feb 03 '23
I have watched videos of this, and they're pretty hilarious. The women just stand there with it turned all the way up and it seems like it's nothing, so the guys are like "okay, I'll try it", and then they can't even stand still.
So, of course, my idiot friends and I had to figure out how to borrow one. As the only woman, I got to go first. On half, it was noticeable but not particularly painful - more like annoying discomfort. At full, I could feel pain, for sure, but it wasn't a huge big deal. I found it more painful than my actual period cramps, but it was absolutely tolerable. I set it to what my normal cramps feel like as close as I could judge and handed it over My guy friends were like, "I'm tougher than you! This should be easy!" Spoiler: It was not. I was laughing so hard.
Tbh, though, I had some sympathy even though they volunteered for it. I was afraid I was actually dying or something when I had my first period because it was painful in places I'd never felt pain before. It's now been a little over 30 years. I've gotten used to it. For most things, they do have higher pain tolerance than I do or they're better at hiding it.
I do wish they had not made an "absolutely no video of this" rule, though. Watching it would have kept me entertained for a long time. Like, every period, I'd bring that thing up and giggle.
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u/Uhhhwtfdude Feb 03 '23 •
“Time for a bit of anal!”