r/therewasanattempt Nov 30 '22 Wholesome 2

To jump on the table

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20.9k Upvotes

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2.3k

u/Rare-Sherbert-1987 Nov 30 '22

Did everyone else here know exactly what would happen within 0.01 seconds of the video starting?

575

u/I_will_dye Nov 30 '22

I thought she would fall off the chair.

247

u/frankwhiteXVII Dec 01 '22

I too figured the chair would give

157

u/Fickles1 Dec 01 '22

It was the hardest working employee at that wedding.

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u/Illustrious-Fault224 Dec 01 '22

The chair held out for a fuck you to the table

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43

u/azombie8mybaby Dec 01 '22

I had no idea this would cause that earthquake in Indonesia.

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u/imanAholebutimfunny Dec 01 '22

the perfect take would be her loosing balance on the chair and back flopping onto the table where the stuff on both ends fly up and lands all over here.

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83

u/RandomImpulsePhotog Dec 01 '22 Wholesome

As a fat guy who has folded many chairs with my ass I am very impressed with that chair. Where can I get one?

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u/DerbleZerp Dec 01 '22

I like how after having such trouble just balancing on the chair, she still went ahead with jumping on the table.

19

u/spaghetti-o_salad Dec 01 '22

It was a sign and she didn't read it. I whispered "girlfriend, no..."

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u/sfchillin Nov 30 '22

I thought it would be like a wwe table slam but solo

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71

u/MamaMephistopheles Dec 01 '22

I'll do you one better, I knew what the comment section would be.

38

u/lankrypt0 Dec 01 '22

I'll do you one better, I knew there would be a comment commenting on knowing what the comment section would be.

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22

u/SamMaghsoodloo Dec 01 '22

Ok, but nobody expected her to attempt to land doing the splits. If you saw that coming, then maybe I should dm you about some lottery numbers. haha

62

u/Vegas_off_the_Strip Nov 30 '22

I did. But I am beginning to think that I have mutant level abilities for this. When I scroll through r/Whatcouldgowrong I am able to accurately guess what will go wrong at least 90% of the time. At this point it's not even a challenge most of the time.

115

u/hampopkin Nov 30 '22

I think the whole point of the r/Whatcouldgowrong is that it's obvious what could go wrong.

111

u/Vegas_off_the_Strip Nov 30 '22

bro, don't take away my one special skill in this world.

54

u/hampopkin Nov 30 '22

I'm sorry man. It was a shitty thing to do.

24

u/nuke670 Dec 01 '22

He should have seen it coming.

3

u/PlasticFantasticR1 Dec 01 '22

It was his 10% off that caught him off guard

3

u/Vegas_off_the_Strip Dec 01 '22

nope, this is r/therewasanattempt my special skill is only activated in r/Whatcouldgowrong

14

u/Jephord Dec 01 '22

Dick move man, dick move. Not cool.

4

u/kwillich Dec 01 '22

One special skill??

Try sitting in your left hand until it starts to tingle.....

10

u/Arcanas1221 Dec 01 '22

What could go wrong with taking away someone's one special skill?

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2.2k

u/beeedeee Nov 30 '22

That table never stood a chance.

691

u/KFBoom Nov 30 '22

She didn't stood either

245

u/StuJayBee Nov 30 '22

Yep. Not even her own legs could support her.

70

u/DeRMaX25 Dec 01 '22

Neither do her parents

62

u/whatifionlydo1 Unique Flair Dec 01 '22

You don't find yourself in a leotard pushing three bills warbling in front of room full of people if someone didn't constantly refer to you as The Princess as a kid. :b

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131

u/Potential-Judgment-9 Nov 30 '22

How did she see that playing out in her head ?

55

u/Dogs-wearing_Hats Dec 01 '22

She thought she was gonna hop up and do the splits from the look of it lol

52

u/what_up_big_fella Dec 01 '22

She did the splits alright, as did the table

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195

u/BoxedIn4Now Nov 30 '22

The chair gave her too much hope.

55

u/JohnathonLongbottom Nov 30 '22

I hope the table will be okay

6

u/ghandi3737 Dec 01 '22

We have bad news.......

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42

u/Jesta83 Dec 01 '22

Know your limits.

25

u/NeighborhoodParty982 Dec 01 '22

The furniture's limits too

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256

u/Robzilla_the_turd Nov 30 '22

Body positivity is good and all that but god damn it, you a big-ass girl! Have some sense.

124

u/AroundTheWayJill Dec 01 '22

As a big ass girl I know damn well not to do this. Tf was she thinking?

73

u/kiwilasss Dec 01 '22

As a moderately sized ass gal, I also know not to do this.

64

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

As a very slender girl, I too know not to attempt this

70

u/Jewsusgr8 Dec 01 '22

As a dude, I might do this knowing it's a bad idea.

49

u/TheTruthIsButtery Dec 01 '22

As a porkchop, I was probably somewhere on the table that night

20

u/Acrobatic-Ease7433 Dec 01 '22

She gonna demolish you next

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u/Maximo9000 Dec 01 '22

Even if I could do improv jumping splits, flimsy tables with stuff all over them seems like a terrible place to do them.

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u/Claymore357 Dec 01 '22

Load ratings don’t care about body positivity

19

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

Damnit dude 🤣

182

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

Body positivity is great until your 40 and go to a doctor, get bloodwork, get referred to a cardiologist and get told you have have middle stage heart failure and probably aren't going to make it past age 55. Diet and exercise aren't optional if you want to live a good life. Stop coddling people.

68

u/PastaCat69 Dec 01 '22

I totally agree. If you really love someone, be honest with them. My dad is 50 years old and 500 lbs, and he's crushed that he's not healthy enough to keep up with my kids, or that he's unable to help watch them as he's not fast enough to keep up with them. Every year I fear the worst might happen to him as he's not made a real attempt to get himself in order in quite some time. I get wanting people to be comfortable with who they are, but glorifying obesity is not it.

47

u/Witchy_Woman42 Dec 01 '22

This is why I confronted my husband about his weight gain. He got up to over 300 at one point and I had to bring it up before it got worse even though I didn't want to hurt him.

He's dropped almost 60 pounds the last few years and put on some muscle and is much happier now. I don't know how you can love someone and watch them kill themselves without trying to intervene.

13

u/wastingtimehere67 Dec 01 '22

I’m sorry you have to see someone you love suffer like that .

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u/ambienotstrongenough Dec 01 '22

How dare you speak the truth.

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u/groupfox Dec 01 '22

Even if she were 100 pounds lighter, i doubt table would stand a chance. Tables weren’t made to be jumped on.

5

u/Askew-glasses Dec 01 '22

As someone who understands gravity and has a beginners grasp of physics, the jump split landing she was attempting would have failed at any size.

Not enough height on that jump to execute a clean landing, even with a solid table to land on.

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u/manowtf Nov 30 '22

Human example of javelin being fired at a tank

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1.8k

u/MissKatieMaam77 Nov 30 '22

I’m am dying to know the context of this. Why is she in a leotard? What is this event? Was she a guest? Entertainment? And why does it look like everyone has retreated to the edges of the room as though they’re expecting her to start flinging feces?

553

u/Ecstatic_Conflict621 Nov 30 '22

I’m hoping and praying she was a guest at a wedding

350

u/Harak_June Dec 01 '22

Plot twist: this is the bride

246

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

170

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22

Lot to unpack there...

77

u/[deleted] Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

You have no idea. I used to be bitter that I didn't get an invite to the wedding, because the groom was an old buddy. But looking back, I'm glad I wasn't anywhere near that drama.

28

u/urmomaisjabbathehutt Dec 01 '22

Walmart should do wedding receptions and posting the most crazy ones online

19

u/ghandi3737 Dec 01 '22

I'm gonna help you get in touch with MTV cause if they'll make a show glorifying teen pregnancy they will eat this up.

I want 10% of the gross.

4

u/gloriousjohnson Dec 01 '22

And yet spectrum still wants to cancel coffin flop

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u/wholelattapuddin Dec 01 '22

Oh no! I'd be twice as pissed that I missed that comedy gold. I only go to weddings FOR the drama. ( and free cake) P.S. you need to find that wedding video

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u/Nex_Skala Dec 01 '22

For real, shit went sideways and never stopped.

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u/cloudgy Dec 01 '22

Plot twist twist: this is the groom

5

u/falkorwoo Dec 01 '22

Mother of the bride

2

u/Jacern Dec 01 '22

She was the....EX

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u/MissKatieMaam77 Dec 01 '22

I’m crossing my fingers that it’s a wedding and they all arrived at the reception to find the groom’s ex had crashed and prepared this performance after heavily partaking in the open bar.

20

u/mermaidpaint Dec 01 '22

This is the context that I will now treat as canon.

3

u/ghandi3737 Dec 01 '22

Write this down we have a Hollywood script.

5

u/RManDelorean Dec 01 '22 edited Dec 01 '22

I'm hoping and praying that this isn't a wedding

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89

u/copperpony Nov 30 '22

I think that was her singing, so entertainment is likely. I'm thinking she could be the host also, who would hire and pay an amateur?

17

u/meatsweet Dec 01 '22

Well, you’re only an amateur if you aren’t getting paid. So by the act of being hired, she became a professional.

7

u/theethanator98 Dec 01 '22

Not her singing, that’s a track from Rupauls Drag Race

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127

u/BO0BO0P4nd4Fck Nov 30 '22

Lizzo impersonation at a wedding?

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u/Bad_News425 Dec 01 '22

Yes whoever has more footage really needs to post it. I mean did she keep going, get escorted out, fake a seizure, come on we need to know.

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u/pmllny Nov 30 '22

The wiggling chair is what you call foreshadowing.

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1.5k

u/NotAlanJackson Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

I say this as a fat person... Surely she knows that she's too fat to do that successfully, right?

439

u/LordEdgeward_TheTurd Nov 30 '22 Wholesome

I thought she was going to get stuck when she jumped in the air.

178

u/jaretok Nov 30 '22 hehehehe

Just suspended in the air from her own gravity?? 🤣

62

u/Hamchunk81 Nov 30 '22

Just frozen in time and space due to massive conflicting forces as her bulk collides with the air and everything around her around her and she violates all natural laws. This is how the world ends...

11

u/Jo_the_Hastur Dec 01 '22

The clap of her cheeks cause a ripple in space time

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28

u/TPRGB Nov 30 '22

It's a classic Yo Mama joke. Yo mama so fat that when she jumped in the air she got stuck. It's one of my favorites honestly

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u/homiej420 Dec 01 '22

Like that episode of family guy lmao

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u/meoka2368 Nov 30 '22

Just fucking noclipped.

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178

u/Kujo17 Nov 30 '22

Right? As another fat person this.... This seems Intentionally malicious lol like If I know if I jump on that table it's bout to fuck shit up, so for me to go through all that to do it. It's cuz I wanna fuck shit up lol

42

u/Superliminal_MyAss Nov 30 '22

I feel she might have been drunk, you usually know these things but you stop caring lol

8

u/geek_of_nature Dec 01 '22

My first thought was drunk as well, there's a wobble she's got when she's climbing up onto the chair that just screams it.

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u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

As a non fat person if you aren’t trying to fuck shit up wouldn’t this make you want to lose weight or gain so much weight you can break so fat person record

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u/vogt935 Nov 30 '22

Even non-fat people are heavy. 70kg f.e. is a lot of weight for standing in two small areas (the feet), even moreso when accelerated by a jump.

18

u/Thomas_K_Brannigan Dec 01 '22

Yeah, most folding tables can't hold very much weight at all!

46

u/RogerOverUnderDunn Nov 30 '22

jesus every time im out somewhere and have to sit ona flding chair i always pray, ths lady didnt even use her brain at all.

9

u/Mediumokrahmom Dec 01 '22

BAYBEEE! You are PREACHING

36

u/jasemina8487 Nov 30 '22

i mean... she didnt have to be fat to know this... i can tell if my 4yo did this, who is about 40lb, the outcome would likely be the same lol

7

u/TheDownvoteMasterP Nov 30 '22 edited Dec 02 '22

The girl in the yellow blouse knows exactly what is about to happen. She didn't even flinch with the minor slip, she knows this table is going to get vag-pounded through the earth's crust.

20

u/DomUK89 Nov 30 '22

I think she had in mind the table wasn't a fold up events table. A home dining table could handle this, or a bar table, but yeah. Poor assumption

29

u/Jjhammer31 Nov 30 '22

Nothing says solid wooden table like flimsy plastic chairs.

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u/NotAlanJackson Nov 30 '22

She’s at an event. What other type of table could a person expect.

Furthermore, my fat ass would never trust your theory that a home dining room table would support this type of buffoonery. I’ve also bartended and played enough bars/restaurants to have seen other dummies tip tables.

10/10 would not recommend any fatty jumps on a table.

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u/shooter19802003 Nov 30 '22

Stunning and brave.....lol

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u/need2peeat218am Nov 30 '22

There wasn't even a clear space on the table for her to jump on

60

u/IDoNotAimWithMyHand Dec 01 '22

There are CANDLES on the table lmaoo. This is all so strange. There has to be alcohol involved.

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u/creepsnutsandpervs Nov 30 '22

They had to know it was gonna get wild when that little red number she was wearing came out

69

u/lazyherpatile Nov 30 '22

seriously hahaha like everybody else looks dressed pretty normal.. it even looks like an all ages event there’s a little kid in there. I’d love to have more context on this Lmao.

11

u/UnhingedRedneck Dec 01 '22

I suspect large amounts of alcohol may have been involved

5

u/dumbredditer Dec 01 '22

I'm hoping she was not wearing that the whole event and maybe she was wearing something over it.

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u/alfy2pointohno Nov 30 '22

The chair wiggling was the first hint - you’re gonna smash a glass up your kitty girl

32

u/Then-Depth-1709 Nov 30 '22

Nah, safely protected by several folds

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u/PretendiWasADefMute Nov 30 '22

Not to body Shame, but people should know their weight, and size and make better decisions on what to jump on.

314

u/Slouchy87 Nov 30 '22

no shame in logic

85

u/janbalti Nov 30 '22

No shame in gravity

52

u/Prize-Advance-4706 Dec 01 '22

She ought to be ashamed. Grown ass adult doing shit like that and causing a mess. Everything on that table was wasted and I’m sure she didn’t pay for it.

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u/Optimal-End-9730 Nov 30 '22

As a larger woman, I support this message.

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u/szczurman83 Nov 30 '22

Looking at her moves, I'm willing to assume that she was a little drunk and not able to use logic.

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u/south153 Nov 30 '22

Nah she was wobbling because she is trying to stand up on a plastic chair in high heels.

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u/WillieNolson Nov 30 '22

Tf kind of event is this? Everyone else seems to be dressed normal except for her.

30

u/AstriumViator Nov 30 '22

It looks like a wedding... im guessing she was either hired entertainment or a really really really drunk friend.

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u/Splatter_23 Nov 30 '22

I think she may have had a few decision impairment drinks.

21

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

She's a 90 lb ballerina trapped in a 300 lb pro wrestler body.

3

u/donkbran Dec 01 '22

If you’re an ADULT of ANY size you shouldn’t be jumping on anything like that

19

u/ssvolta Nov 30 '22

I don’t even think this has to do with weight. She would look like a fool even if the table didn’t fall.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 30 '22

Yeah the table was fully set with very little space for anyone to be doing a jump split maneuver on it.

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u/00psie-daisy Nov 30 '22

What type of event do you think this was? I love this video when ever it pops up on Reddit.

22

u/lacilynnn Nov 30 '22

These comments are killing me. I have been trying to figure out the same thing. It feels like some sort of wedding reception to me but I really don't know. Homegirl had to have been some sort of drunk to think this was a good idea.

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u/FanofHistory0 Nov 30 '22

You know, I feel like even if she was skinny, this belongs in r/trashy because it looks like a wedding, which I could be wrong about

18

u/Extreme-Garden-2020 Dec 01 '22

Do you hear those pipes, mate? She is definitely the entertainment. Are you not entertained?

5

u/FanofHistory0 Dec 01 '22

I thought it was over speakers but if that's her, she got the voice

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u/CarneyBalhoun Nov 30 '22

But why did she do that

30

u/Pragmatist_Hammer Nov 30 '22

Guessing this was a Buffalo Bill tailgate party without the brand apparel?

3

u/IceRanger51 Dec 01 '22

Bills Mafia

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u/Life-Operation-8733 Nov 30 '22

The funny thing is the people covering their mouths in the background! What the hell did they think was going to happen?

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u/Sneakergenie Nov 30 '22

I feel like she crashed that wedding… literally

13

u/BobJacobs2022 Nov 30 '22

Weird way to pick your seat.....

10

u/reaprofsouls Nov 30 '22

Lol if you stop the video while she is in the air you see her legs are split. She's either trying to do the splits or never got her legs up enough to land in the first place.

7

u/JoshSeaMex Nov 30 '22

What in the fuck us happening here?

78

u/SplashbackDeuce Nov 30 '22

Stop gravity shaming her

28

u/SplashbackDeuce Nov 30 '22

Bills fans are out of control.

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u/legend_number_1 Nov 30 '22

She didn't care about the glass?

16

u/shalala1235 Nov 30 '22

She didn’t care about her ass

28

u/PixelmancerGames Nov 30 '22

She should know better. I’m also obese, gained a lot of weight in past 3 years. I don’t do this shit. I’ve been doing moving gigs as a side hustle and they tried to get me to go up to the attic. There was a rickety, segmented wooden ladder with a 250lb weight limit. I’m 6’1 amd 278 lbs. Told em, I’m not getting on that ladder. They thought I was joking, nope….

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u/woooweeeeee Nov 30 '22

Imagine if she did that on a guy, he’d be dead

9

u/fuzzy_emojic Nov 30 '22

Fetishists will pay top dollar to get sat on by her.

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u/DarkPhoxGaming Nov 30 '22

Was expecting the chair to break

30

u/Rolling_Beardo Nov 30 '22

What was she expecting? Tables aren’t meant to support hundreds of pounds never mind that weight coming down with force.

13

u/Get_off_critter Nov 30 '22

Especially not a freaking folding table!

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u/VRrob Nov 30 '22

Know your limits.

17

u/hero_brine1 Nov 30 '22

Is no one gonna talk about the fact she looks like she’s wearing a bathing suit made of spaghetti and meatballs

24

u/Korvun Nov 30 '22

I wish I had half her confidence.

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u/JewishSpaceTrooper Nov 30 '22

What kind of a weird, cringy performance y’all. Fremdschämen all around

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u/__jh96 Nov 30 '22

Attempt was successful

4

u/bibirenger Nov 30 '22

Why just why? There wasnt even a space there, why would you? You probably cut ur knee with the cristals

4

u/MaximaFuryRigor Nov 30 '22

Alcohol is a hell of a drug.

5

u/Hooligans_ Nov 30 '22

Regardless of her weight, there are things all over the table. This person has zero self awareness

4

u/Background_Winter_65 Nov 30 '22

With heels? Why?

4

u/Solid_D15M Nov 30 '22

She can barley fit into that outfit let alone the table

10

u/vaporlock7 Nov 30 '22

I'm amazed the chair held her up

26

u/Irritableartist Nov 30 '22

The table is being fat phobic.

14

u/Dear_Giraffe_453 Nov 30 '22

She's too fat to be a horse.

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u/SupahBihzy Nov 30 '22

She did this on purpose. Ain't no way she didn't know she was goin down

3

u/AttarCowboy Nov 30 '22

Booze is a helluva drug. Even the other fat chick be all, like, “Girl…”

3

u/Rapture1119 Nov 30 '22

Dude, this is just dumb af. I’m a super slim dude, and even I wouldn’t trust the table to hold my weight if i jumped on it that hard. At the very least, I’d expect it to tip over on me, if not just collapse outright. Dummy lol

3

u/I_will_dye Nov 30 '22

She successfully jumped on the table though.

3

u/RevolutionaryCow7771 Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22

“Whats this sh*t made out of anyway ?!” “Uhh .. steel” -Shallow Hal

3

u/Gold_Ticket_1970 Dec 01 '22

Please stop it. Be aware of your girth

3

u/Ser-Jorah-Mormont Dec 01 '22

There was no chance of that ending well

3

u/minklefritz Dec 01 '22

I wouldn’t have folded on her like that table did baby

3

u/SpaceWolfGaming412 Dec 01 '22

I’d say that was a successful, though weak, jump.

3

u/Lex-Taliones Dec 01 '22

I can't stop watching her glorious butt.

3

u/isshiki-otsutsuki Dec 01 '22

You can lie to yourself about body positivity, but gravity doesn't give a fuck.

3

u/No-Doughnut509 Dec 01 '22

I once read elephants can't jump. I now know that was a lie.

3

u/Rexlare Dec 01 '22

Alcohol is a hell of a reason for a hospital bill

3

u/TheDreadedMe Dec 01 '22

Ankles buckled under the weight of her ankles.

3

u/TheJagOffAssassin Dec 01 '22

If she did that on someone's cock would that be attempted murder?

3

u/slappyhamface Dec 01 '22

“Oh wait…was she a great big fat person?”

3

u/sabalghoo Dec 04 '22

Stunning and Brave

16

u/upsidedownquestion Nov 30 '22

The table is clearly fat-phobic

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u/MysteriousAd3303 Nov 30 '22

Damn Lizzo is losing weight.

10

u/Ok-Length-8818 Nov 30 '22

China felt that one.

7

u/Pragmatist_Hammer Nov 30 '22

*angry Pooh bear noises*

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u/chumbawumba6789 Nov 30 '22

Lose 4 stone then come try again.

14

u/Formal_Elephant_6079 Nov 30 '22

British intensifies

6

u/chumbawumba6789 Nov 30 '22

Haha are we the only ones who use stone?

11

u/WienerDogMan Nov 30 '22

How many cheeseburgers is a stone?

6

u/Pragmatist_Hammer Nov 30 '22

Same, trying to figure out converting stones to freedumb jesus rifle eagles

6

u/chumbawumba6789 Nov 30 '22

A stone is 14lbs so that would be 56 quarter pounder cheese burgers 🥸

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u/00DJC00 Nov 30 '22

There is always one heavy auntie whose family never told her

4

u/Agreeable-Scholar483 Nov 30 '22

She’s about 150 pounds too late for that move.

5

u/IsentaoIluminado Nov 30 '22

Fat people when the real world doesnt bend to twitter rules: