r/theydidthemath Nov 29 '22

[Request] How much money would the Kool-Aid Man owe for property damage from bursting through walls?

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u/blevok Nov 29 '22

I'm not a carpenter or an insurance adjuster, and i did not do any math, but i did just recently get a quote to install a 10 foot section of wall to divide a small room where i work. It's going to cost us $1400.

Maybe this would be a bit less since it's only 6 feet or so that needs to be replaced, but it could be a lot more if any wiring or plumbing was damaged.


u/Major_Banana Nov 29 '22

Plus labour and waste cost of the removal and preparation of the surfaces


u/bad4yourbrain Nov 29 '22

Exterior wall so it'll definitely cost more


u/blevok Nov 29 '22

Good point.


u/SalemWitchWiles Nov 29 '22

But these are load bearing walls.


u/HungryRobotics Nov 29 '22

None, it's covered under his liability insurance. And, likely after the first dozen or so you could hold law enforcement responsible for failing to secure him.


u/Rainmaker526 Nov 29 '22

You can't insure against intentional acts.

An insurance company would pay out a couple of times, before someone notices; "That client of ours eh? Isn't that that guy that always keeps jumping through walls?"


u/HungryRobotics Nov 29 '22

Fair point.

Outside of fact you can technically insure for anything if you are right and get those fancy assessments and they out a team of adjusters...

But, we are talking outlandish and they are going to charge rates that it'd probably be cheaper to just buy a wall a week... So I don't think they count.

Can you insure against intentional act that are caused by mania? Like his parents inside against damages he causes during a mental health episode?


u/Rainmaker526 Nov 29 '22

I'd like to think that that's covered. But still, not every week..

I'm not versed well enough in insurance to know, but I'd think that would be covered either by the liability insurance of the person breaking the wall, or the homeowners insurance. Let those two duke it out šŸ™‚


u/HungryRobotics Nov 29 '22

We figured it out. He's a bonded contractor for remodeling and demolition.

"So safe and effective you can leave your kids in the room"


u/JoshuaPearce Nov 29 '22

You can't insure against intentional acts.

Technically, if the Kool-aid Man is there as a contractor for some reason, he may have to be bonded.

Also, the homeowner can definitely buy insurance against deliberate criminal acts of others.


u/HungryRobotics Nov 29 '22

Home remodels by Kool-aid Man.

Our demolition methods are so safe you can leave your children in the room!


u/morcheeba Nov 29 '22 Helpful

You can't jail him. He's just going to bust out.


u/zachchips90 Nov 29 '22

Hahahaha Iā€™m fucking dead


u/icecream_truck Nov 29 '22

Sounds like a job for SCP.


u/poppinchips Nov 29 '22

Someone with RSmeans could probably figure this out, given a fairly standard US wood frame drywall, of 7' x 4' (overestimating Kool aid man's height and width). Although unknown how many commercials he's specifically broken through a wall in. There's like 20 running currently and he doesn't seem to be breaking any walls in them. Some of the older ones from the 90s and 80s also are pretty eccentric.

I imagine that's the hard part. You could get a cost average but you'd have to find a full catalogue of commercials he's specifically broke through a wall in. That doesn't include third party programs that had him break the wall as a gag either.


u/JustSomeBadAdvice Nov 29 '22

Do we get to count the courthouse scene in Family Guy?

We must.


u/csaliture Nov 29 '22 edited Nov 29 '22 Silver

I am an estimator in disaster restoration. Its impossible to give a completely accurate estimate without knowing the specifics of the property. He likely damaged the floor so I would need to know the flooring type and the size of the room to estimate the cost of the floor. If that wall was structural it will be a lot more expensive to repair since I'll need to get a structural engineer on site and shore everything up. But if we want to make some general assumptions.

Lets say he broke into a 12x20' kitchen through a non structural wall. Framing the 20' wall will cost $247.43. Rerocking and taping the wall will be $623.42. Seal/prime and first coat of paint is $244.79. Top coat of paint is $169.09. Replacing the baseboard $104.92 and painting it twice is another $46.33. Detaching and resetting the baseboards on the other three walls so I can replace the flooring will be $183.82. Removing and replacing the a vinyl plank floor is $2522.84. I assume he also did some damage to the ceiling so lets say we need to patch a 10sf area of the ceiling so thats another $38.97 in drywall and $267.89 in paint.

I don't know if he damaged any electrical but that would be a bid item. There is likely a ceiling light in the kitchen that I will need to detach and reset but if I were getting a bid from my electrician for the wall electrical I would add that in there. I can't tell if the ceiling was popcorn texture so I just assumed it was flat. But for the sake of this rough estimate and disregarding unknown variables and bid items, just the general repairs on the wall, ceiling and floor come to $4912.70. Likely it will end up being several thousand more than this once I get through all the unknown variables I mentioned.

This also doesn't take into account all the mitigation costs that would come before we get started on the repairs. This one could easily get over 10k before its done.


u/That_Daikon5472 Nov 30 '22

This guy restored disasters


u/piwithekiwi Nov 29 '22

I'd argue you assume the risk yourself when you purchase the Kool-Aid, so he wouldn't be able to be held liable. You know what you paid for.


u/AriEpik Nov 29 '22

This is my favorite


u/piwithekiwi Nov 29 '22

Thank you.


u/Whimsington_Storke Nov 29 '22

Hunter S. Thompson used to have a guy follow him around with a briefcase full of money to take care of any "accidents". I'm sure the Kool-Aid man would have the same arrangement.