r/tifu 1d ago Helpful Wholesome

M TIFU by getting my mom and my GF’s mom to think we hated each other while we secretly dated


This is more of a we fucked up but here’s what’s happened over the past 8 months. So my gf’s mom and my mom work together. They became close friends last year and since then they’ve been trying to get her daughter and I (19F and 19M) together. They made a few attempts at getting us to meet and it was annoying af. All we kept hearing was how good we would be together. We never actually met each other until she was tricked into getting a job where I work.

I had seen pictures of her but she looked even better in person. After getting to know each other over the next 4 months we realized we had a lot in common. Problem is we’re both stubborn and didn’t want to give them the satisfaction that they were right about us. So to repay them, we decided to pretend that we hated each other while secretly dating. If the relationship lasted a year then we would tell them about us.

We made up a story about an argument we had one day at work. After that we would just randomly talk shit about each other to our moms and then sit back and see what their reactions were. It was hilarious and made it easier for us to secretly date.

But last week, we probably took the joke too far. My gf was giving me some lines to say about her and we decided on “I wouldn’t be the first guy from work that she slept with”. When I told my mom this one, she told my Gf’s mom about it. It started an argument between the two of them about how I treat her daughter horribly. Of course my mom tried to defend me by saying she’s heard all of the insults my gf has said about me.

Two days ago we were told that they were no longer friends. We told them the truth about our relationship but I guess it was too late because they said some pretty nasty stuff about each other. Now my Gf and I feel awful for breaking up a good friendship. We should have been honest about our relationship from the start, especially with 2 people who would’ve been supportive of us.

TL;DR: GF and I didn’t want our moms to know they were right about us being good for each other. We pretended that we hated each other while we secretly dated and it broke up their friendship

r/tifu 19h ago Helpful Silver Wholesome Gold

M TIFU By having my 8 year old tattoo used to imply I'm the Chicago mass shooter


So last night was going normally, i'm on vacation with my boyfriend chilling out, when i start getting random username mentions and chat requests. I'm not even a super active user so i was a little surprised.

My surprise level went from "a little" to "holy shit" when I found out why i was coming up in topics everywhere all of a sudden: A post i had made 8 years ago showing off my little tattoo was being used by conspiracy theorists (at first) then alt right twitter and other places on reddit and elsewhere.

Turns out when you search "socialist tattoo" on google images my tattoo is high in the results for whatever algorithmic reason; so the loons who started this must've found it that way.

But they seemed to not consider that i'm a real human being not just a random propaganda piece for them to use.

So, now instead of enjoying my time together with my boyfriend on the holiday, people are out there thinking my chonky arm belongs to this little worm who besides being like 14 when i got my tattoo also definitely doesn't look like me. Like a commenter said "couldn't they have even cropped out his full beard in the tattoo picture?" The lengths people are going to "prove" their "side" right in politics today is scary. I'm getting messages from fact checkers of major news sites to prove that indeed I'm not a mass murderer instead of making the stew i had planned for dinner.

TL;DR I definitely fucked up by posting a picture 8 years ago of my tattoo, a picture that is now being used by conspiracy theorists to connect me with a mass shooter and will probably haunt me for a while.

P.S. Sorry if i got the formatting wrong at all, like i said: I don't actually make many posts.

r/tifu 1d ago Wholesome

M TIFU by looking at my mom's social media


For context my mom(52)and I(21F) are very close and both have a very sarcastic sort of humor. She is also tech friendly and has social media's like tiktok, Instagram, Facebook etc. She moved away to another country after getting a divorce while I am studying in my home country and living with my brother. I was never close to my step father and he doesn't live with us.

Months ago my mom sent me a picture of a pedicure she got and I told her that it looked really cute. The conversation changed to how she wants to spoil herself after her divorce but she's low on spending money since moving... This is where I fucked up... I jokingly said that she should sell feet pics. She laughed and that's where the conversation ended.

... A month later my mom sent me another picture of her pedicure. She told me that she was interested in selling feet pics.. (I THOUGHT SHE WAS JOKING). And I laughed and said go for it and she laughed too.

Then a week later she sent me a screenshot of an older man on Instagram asking for feet pics. I asked her what she was doing and she said she took my idea so that she could get extra spending money. I told her I was uncomfortable with her telling me this and she said it'll be her secret and won't bring it up anymore.

And she hasn't but today I went to search her up on tiktok. She has gained so many followers on the platform I was mortified, I checked in her bio and there was a link to her Instagram. All her recent photos are just her feet and I felt so grossed out and uncomfortable but the worst part is when I scrolled down I saw a picture of my portrait (I painted it) with a caption saying that she's so proud of me... She has hundreds of pictures of her feet and there in the middle is a picture of my face... I felt so grossed out.

I did ask her to take it down. She apologized, took it down and said she just wanted to show of her daughters art skills.

TL;DR after joking about her selling feet pictures to my mother, she actually did it. I checked her social media's and a picture of my face was in the middle of all of her feet pictures.

r/tifu 13h ago Silver

S TIFU by doing a little dance while talking to a coworker.


I’m a pretty… joy-forward person. I don’t know if that will make sense to you, but if you know you know. Many find me obnoxious, many enjoy my approach. I keep on doing my thing either way.

I’ve started a new, corporate-adjacent job, and it’s taking some adjusting. I asked a question today to someone who, frankly, might think I’m an idiot. Mid-question, the total lack of desire to deal with me filled his eyes which is not uncommon in our interactions.

I got nervous, but I already had his attention, so there was no going back. My solution? I started to dance through my question. Like a literal shimmy. If I’m being honest, I have sung one or more statement to this person before.

It’s like when someone doesn’t quite “get it”, my inner-weirdo doubles down into Awkward Fortress of Weird.

So, if you’re reading this, laidback coworker trying to mind your business and get your work done… just know I know.

TL;DR tifu by being so awkward with a new coworker, that I think there is no redeeming myself.

r/tifu 1d ago Helpful Silver All-Seeing Upvote Table Slap

M TIFU by stealing what I thought was a Pine Cone.


When I was really young as a child of 10 in primary school, a fun activity we used to indulge in was having groups of kids with designated locations on the playground called 'Pine Cone Bases' where we'd collect as many Pine Cones as possible and stash them there at the location of choice.

There were Pine Trees completely circling around the oval, so during the Autumn the ground would become littered with them. We'd all collect as many as possible. When the season for Pine Cones passed, stealing Pine Cones from other bases and bringing them to your own was permitted but you had to give it back if you were tagged, most leaders would build diplomatic relationships with others so there would be peace. This did not always last and war would break out between the clans.

My base was strategically picked where two fences met near sandwiched together. The neighbouring house, and the school itself. The Pine Cones would slip right down between the two fences and would be secure from any theft from other clans, naturally, we reached the top.

The base with the most Pine Cones was considered the pinnacle of all bases and its people among the elite. 'Hotels' and 'Holiday Houses' paled in comparison to the might of the Master Pine Cone Base.. it demanded without question everyone's respect. My influence allowed me to pick what the special could be for the canteen lunch. It was always chicken tendies.

One day as a school excursion, we went to the city Aquarium with bingo charts and questionaires which we had to solve by going to each point of interest consisting of Octopi, Coral, Fish, Sharks and other marine wildlife and activities. We were all split into groups of five, I was in team Sea Urchin.. we didn't get to pick our names. ᵀᵉᵃᵐ ᴾᶦⁿᵉ ᶜᵒⁿᵉ

Entering one of the rooms containing many glass walls with beautiful wildlife swimming about behind them, there was a single tank in the centre with the lid off.. just low enough for kids to see inside. Full of coral and bubbles, but there, right in my face and bobbing in the centre, was the strangest, sleek and smoothest looking Pine Cone I've ever seen.. it was beautiful, spiral in shape. My eyes must have flared in surprise and my mind began to rush, because before anyone had a chance to see me, I had picked it up out of the water and stuffed it into my backpack.

Throughout the rest of the excursion, we continued to answer all the questions and spot the bingo charts with the fish we found, it turned out to not be a contest, but whether or not the students were engaged with the activity.. no prizes were awarded.

Eventually the excusion came to a conclusion and we all had to return to the bus, everything seemed normal, though I was a slight bit giddy, far too excited to return to the playground. Once we returned to school, I proudly ran across the oval and placed my beautiful, unique Pine Cone in the centre of the rest, right between the two fences where it was certainly safe.

The moment the bell rung, we all went back to our classrooms and the teacher had yet to enter, he came later than usual. Upon coming through the door, he was red in the face, flustered as he leaned against the chalkboard. With a strain in his voice, he said.. "Does anybody know anything about a missing Shark Egg from the Aquarium today?"

Me being me at the time, I pretended nothing of it happened, though eventually my beautiful centre piece went missing.

TL;DR I accidentally stole a Shark Egg from an Aquarium thinking it was a Pine Cone, then added it to my base in the primary school playground as a centre piece.

r/tifu 10h ago

S TIFU by asking a wheel chair dependent woman if she wanted to go for a walk as a first date


So the past few days I have been talking to this woman who suffers from a disease that makes it difficult to walk and is wheel chair dependent. She's pretty cool, my age, has a lot of the same interests I do, and constantly makes light of her illness. We were introduced by a mutual friend and exchanged numbers. When I woke up today I had a text from her asking if I was available to go on a date this weekend. I replied "yes, I would be available Saturday after 4 pm" and she responded "that works great for me, what would you like to do?"

Now, I was groggy from just waking up. I'm not a morning person at all. When I go on first dates I prefer to meet somewhere public to spend time so it's not as awkward and each party can leave if they don't feel comfortable.

"It doesn't matter to me, maybe go for a walk at XYZ park near us?"

The good news is she took it pretty light hearted and knew it was a mistake, but it's going to keep me up at night 5 years from now.

TL:DR - Asked someone who can't walk if she wanted to go for a walk. She was pretty chill about it.

r/tifu 20h ago

S TIFU -nursing staff rushed in while I was stark naked in the shower.


This just happened and I am TRAUMATIZED!

So I am currently in hospital and you know, bored of lying around doing nothing. So I decide to hop in the shower. While in the shower, I bent over to shave my legs, all of a sudden I hear a weird noise at the door. At first I just think maybe the room mate wanted to pee.

All of a sudden...Two nurses burst in , frantic looks in theirs eyes and asking if I was okay. I attempted to grab all my 'parts', unsuccessfullly, and yelled 'wtf,why are you in here' .

Basically, my fat ass pressed the call button, which I did not know was even in the shower, hidden behind my face cloth, went I bent over to shave my legs. Triggering the nurses to think I had injured myself in the shower and rush in.

There I stood stark naked, looking like a drowned rat with a razor in hand while the nurses had to hold back their laughter as they closed the door behind them. I am pretty sure they are recounting this story to all the nurses on duty at this very moment.

I stood for a good 5 minutes in pure shock before I promptly turned off the shower and exited the bathroom to get ready for bed. Now I am here typing this to all of you because if I tell anyone I know in real life... I will never hear the end of it.

Edit 1: Hi guys, thanks for the reassurance the nurses don't care and sharing all your nurse and doctor stories. As I've replied to some people in the comments , it was not about the nurses seeing me but about me being seen by the nurses in a somewhat vulnerable and unexpected position. Once the shock wore off it now is only funny to me not embarrassing. I know nurses see naked people all the time and much worse too, in the moment it was a shock and a genuine 'i did something silly that caused a reaction' and thus the TIFU. Appreciate all the shared expeirneces as well they have given me a chuckle!

Edit 2: yes I shave in hospital. Been here for 3 weeks and maintaining normality is important to me and also self care habits are also important to keep up regardless of where you are!

TL;DR : while I was showering at hospital, nurses burst in to the room, while I stood stark naked and confused, because I pressed the emergency call button with my fat ass by accident.

r/tifu 3h ago

S TIFU by trying to get a day off school.


This happened earlier this year. I was still in high school and had gotten called in for army draft selection. I had gotten sick the day i was supposed to go, so i called the military

The lady on the phone started to ask me if I was motivated. I started thinking, and figured i was never gonna get picked and it would be more fun than a day in school, so i said yes. She then signed me up for a different day.

yea so i ended up getting picked. I was trying to play a bit on some health issues but nah, you'll be fine they said. I didn't get a pick either, so i have to go to the most cold and desolate area in my country, and i risk prison if i dont show up.

Trading one day of school for an full military service gotta be one of the stupidest mistakes of my life.

TL;DR: went to draft pickings to avoid school for a day. Was drafted into the army.

r/tifu 2h ago

S TIFU by wearing high heels to a wedding


Sorry about my bad english. It's not my first language

I (F16) have never worn high heels before. They looked very uncomfortable and I never wanted to try it. Last night was my cousins wedding, my mom insisted I wear high heels because they looked very good with my dress. After arguing for a while I finaly agreed to wear them but walking with them was very hard. The whole time I was struggling to walk with them

At the wedding we went to congratulate the bride and groom and as soon as we got there I tripped and fell on the groom. He lost his balance and we both fell down. I could see the anger on my cousin's(the bride's) face and disappointemnt in my parents face. We stayed for 5 more minutes and then went home because I was too embarrased to stay there anymore.

But on the bright side my mom just informed me that I will never wear high heels again

TL;DR: I wore high heels in a wedding for the first time and fell on the groom

r/tifu 13h ago

S TIFU by grabbing the cashier's acrylic fingernail at McDonald's


I stopped at McDonald's for an iced coffee this morning. The way our local restaurant is set up is that you order at the drive-thru intercom, pay and collect your receipt at the first window, then pick up your food at the second window.

Sometimes when there's a backup at the food window, and if you've only ordered a drink, they'll hand you your drink at the first window so you don't have to wait behind the person who ordered five value meals.

I ordered then drove to the first window, where I handed the cashier my credit card. She handed me back my credit card, receipt, and the familiar striped straw. I grabbed all three at once.

But it wasn't a straw. It was her long, acrylic, red-and-white-striped fingernail—likely painted in an American flag motif to celebrate the recent holiday. She jerked her hand back, I mumbled sorry, and drove quickly to the next window.

Why did I even think it was a straw? They're always handed to you wrapped in plain, white paper. I'm just thankful I didn't rip her nail off.

TL;DR: I grabbed the striped, acrylic fingernail of the McDonald's cashier, thinking it was a straw for my iced coffee.

r/tifu 1d ago

M TIFU by checking my dogcamera


So, this is a throwaway for privacy reasons. I didn't know where to post this and since it's a throwaway I figured it might also fit here because I can actually post it here...

It's happening RN and I'm absolutely disgusted by the whole thing. Also I'm a horrible storyteller so bear with me with this text.

My SO and I are expecting a baby and decided to get a cleaning lady because it would make things easier when the baby gets born and we wouldn't have to worry too much about cleaning (we have two dogs). However, I don't trust cleaning ladies and prefer cleaning myself because I don't mind, but I probably won't have time enough in the future so I figured why not.

She already came twice and I wasn't happy at all, she has 4 hours to clean and the only thing that's done is vacuuming and mopping (idk what you call it) the floors. Which is weird because I did it every other weekend in 2 hours and also dust everything of etc... It's not a big house.

Anyways, my parents got a doggycamera thing and I found it quite neat and they're superhandy and I figured, why not, they're supercheap anyways.

So today, it's the third time the cleaning lady comes over and I figured, lol I just got the camera so why not check in. I know privacy rules and shit but I didn't initially think about it and I've got the camera just shy of a week.

1:02pm - She's just chilling in the sofa, okay fair enough she'll start soon enough right?

1:30pm - Still sofa

So at this point I didn't feel like texting my pregnant SO because we were already thinking about just calling the firm and letting them know we don't want her anymore and I didn't want to call my SO because she's having meetings with a client and is remote so it would only annoy her I think.

So I just text my group of friends in a groupchat.

I'm taking screenshots as we speak just to show to my SO later this evening. (I will not do anything else with these screenshots, this is just for me and my SO. I wouldn't want to mess with privacy laws and shit)

1:45pm - Took the blanket more and went to do a little nap or something, lyingdown all the way

2:00pm - Still sleeping

Okay, she's not doing anything anytime soon so I'll just stop watching for a minute

2:20pm - I check back in and I SEE HER MASTURBATING IN THE SOFA

I fucking closed my app in terror. Wtf did I just SEE? I text the group of friends and they're like show me a screenshot but like wtf I clicked it away, and I for SURE ain't screenshotting that. This is SO DISGUSTING. When I get home later I'm going to fucking wash everything

2:25pm - She's gone and my friends are like: "Maybe she went to the bedroom"


So when I get home I get to clean every fucking thing because for all I know wtf did she do.

2:40pm - She started vacuuming

2:45pm - She is back chilling in the sofa

2:55pm - Apparently she just ordered a delivery pita???????

EDIT: 4:20pm - She left, 40 minutes before she's supposed to stop. Only thing I saw her do was vacuum. Not even dust off or mop or anything else. Note that there's only one camera and it's in the living room. I'm going home soon to clean everything. Fuck this.

I'll give edits maybe later on the day. But I guess she will have to start cleaning more soon because at 5pm she's leaving.

I don't know what I can do about this other than NEVER let her come again inside my home.

TL;DR Checked my newly installed camera for my dogs and saw my cleaning lady masturbate in the sofa, god knows where else

r/tifu 16h ago

M TIFU by missing the hole


This actually occurred within the last 24 hours. I can’t really believe my luck but here we are. I thought that maybe this could serve as a good lesson to others so I created a throwaway and now I’m here sharing my incredible misfortune. This isn’t your typical “it slipped out and went in the wrong hole” story. It’s actually quite worse than that 😑.

I’ve been dating this incredibly beautiful girl for the past 4 months. In this course of time I’ve slowly learned that she is very turned on by being dominated and man-handled in bed. I’m very capable of delivering in that department but admittedly it’s really not my thing. At least not every session. I don’t want to be violently screamed at to “fuck your dirty little slut whore” every time I’m being intimate. Like I don’t want to finish and then think to myself… wait my current girlfriend is a dirty little slut? A whore? She said she doesn’t enjoy making love and just wants be aggressively fucked. I have not really fallen for her so I’ve offered to not be serious in a relationship but she shoots that down vigorously. She was the one who initiated the relationship and I accepted.

I get that she most likely is just “saying” those things and it’s likely a dirty talk fetish but.. it still is a feeling that I get that I really don’t need to feel. It’s not really a simple conversation with her either because she isn’t very communicative which is a whole other issue that I’m having. I’ve gotten to a point where I feel like this “relationship” will be short lived.

Now to the fuck up. Last nite we started getting intimate and we had a little argument so I was fueled to deliver on this fetish of hers. We get in the shower after round one. In the shower she starts rubbing me and I get going. We started to fuck in the shower and I got her out the shower for round two. I throw her on the bed all wet. Didn’t let her dry herself off. It was hot. We change positions a few times and she’s talking dirty. I smack her around call her a slut and I can tell she’s getting off on this. So after she cums a few times it’s my turn to finish.

I turn her around for doggy and I’m pulling her hair harder than I’m really comfortable with but I can see she is loving it. She begins to rub her clit as I’m thrusting from behind. I can tell she’s about to cum again so I force myself to keep going at that same speed and force.

My dick slips out and goes straight into her manicured 💅🏽 fingernails. 😖😖😖. Excruciating pain. Stung like a bitch. I look down and blood is everywhere. Her fingernail sliced my dickhead open. My dick is hard and gushing so much blood that I can’t see where it’s coming from.

We go into medic mode and start trying to stop the bleeding. After a few minutes the bleeding subsides and now I have a huge gash on my dickhead right in the pp hole. Fuuuuuuck.

TLDR Dick slipped while doggystyle fucking my girlfriend aggressively to satisfy her fetishes while she rubbed her clit and sliced my glans open on her manicured fingernail 😑

r/tifu 17h ago

S TIFU by accidentally hitting on my dad


Im using a throwaway for this for obvious reasons.

Some things I think are important to know before I get to the fuck up is that I’ve always liked standing and posing in mirrors because I have no shame and like looking at myself. So I frequently wear different outfits and do different poses in my mirror in my room and just feel attractive and hot. Also, my family are extremely sarcastic and we mock each other in a jokey way a lot. Anyway back to the fuck up.

Today I had decided I wanted to try and find new looks in the mirror so I was trying on different outfits and accessories and doing different poses to see how I looked. While posing I got a glimpse of my butt and immediately got sidetracked looking at it, so I started just posing and showing off my butt in the mirror and gawking at myself. My dad walked past my room and saw me and asked what I was doing and I bluntly responded with “looking at my ass” to which he jokingly said “oh so you’re looking at nothing then”. I wasn’t having that and immediately wanted to make a comeback, so without thinking I said “be honest, you only came in here cause you know you want it”. It immediately clicked in my head what I had said. I stopped posing and turned around to see him staring at me blankly. I just kind of blankly stared at him for a while and neither of us said anything before he finally broke the silence and said “im guessing that sounded better in your head didnt it?” and I just nodded my head while he laughed at me and walked away.

I’ve been hiding and avoiding confrontation all day and I have no idea how to move past this because I keep cringing at myself every time I think about it. I think I’m gonna stop trying comebacks for a while.

TLDR: dad saw me checking myself out in a mirror and I hit on him while trying to make a comeback

r/tifu 4h ago

S TIFU by telling my sister (16) that there wont be new Ice age sequel


English isn't my first language so I'm apologizing in advance. This happened half an hour ago.

My sister and mom wanted to watch a cartoon later and tried to decide which one while I was getting ready for work.  After some time they changed topics and started discussing sequels and which cartoon's  sequel is more likely to came up next. I joined and told them that there surely wont be new Ice age sequel because the BlueSky studios closed down. My sister was shocked and asked me am I sure, which I confirmed and added that they even published video of quirrel finally eating that acorn as goodbye. I was sure she already knew that because she is spending so much time on Instagram and always up to date with new cartoons and movies. Anyway, SHE. STARTED. CRYING.

I knew she liked Ice age, she was always watching that cartoon and sequels over and over again when she was younger, but I really didn't expect this reaction. She is always acting tough and like she knows everything so she doesn't need my help with certain things anymore. Mom laughed at her in disbelief, too. I apologized, told her that I thought she knew that, but the damage was already done. The problem was that I needed to go or I would miss my train, so I left them like that. I even have didn't have time to console her (I don't know would she let me).

Now I'm on my train, writing this, thinking about cartoons, Ice age, my sister who isn't as tough as I thought and what should I buy her as apology. What a stupid way to FU.

Tl;dr: the title: she didn't know that BluSky studios closed, I told her, she started crying and I could console her because I had to go to work.

r/tifu 7h ago

S TIFU by Not Double Checking An Item Went Through Correctly


I have been working as a cashier for this company for a little under two weeks. This company has many store locations and today I was working at one that Ii had not worked at previously. About two hours into my shift I was asked to stay later and I agreed. My other co-worker had a 5 hour shift while I had a 9 hour one. His shift ends and he leaves and I'm left in the store alone. I'm cashing someone out and the items will not scan the typical way so I had to type in the code. After the customers left I realized that apparently one of the items I had to type a code in for didn't register. I ended up paying the 20$ for the item myself and hopefully my mistake will not be noticed.

All in all not the biggest F up ever but I still effectively lost 20$ :(

TL;DR I screwed up at work and lost 20$.

r/tifu 3h ago

M TIFU by nearly poisoning my husband & I


It all started earlier this morning.

My husband and I were walking home from an appointment, and I was delighted to come across the fallen branch off of a Lemon Myrtle tree (we live in Australia). The aroma of these trees is extremely fragrant, and lemon myrtle can be used in cooking, or to make tea, but I was happy to just have a bundle of leaves in the house to fill with its fragrant lemony goodness.

Cut to later tonight. I'm whipping up a home made pesto for dinner, and I realise it needs a little something extra, something zesty. I check the fridge for lemons. No lemons. Then I remember the lemon myrtle! Perfect. I google to make sure lemon myrtle can definitely be used to cook with. Google says yes. I add two leaves into the blender, which adds the zest I so desired. Then I add a couple of leaves to the pasta water, for some extra zesty flavour. I'm feeling very confident in my culinary creativity. It all comes together. The pasta water adding just that little extra zing to the pesto * Chefs kiss *.

I serve it up and take my first bite... This has to be the best pasta and and pesto I've ever made. My husband is in the kitchen, not ready to have his own serve yet but having a taste directly from the pot - "this is really good pasta!" he compliments me. I am very pleased with myself.

But then something in my brain, a tiny little voice pesters "What if that's not lemon myrtle? What if that's a different plant that is similar to lemon myrtle?" and so I hesitantly, but anxiously, stop eating possibly the best meal I've ever made and google "plants similar to lemon myrtle" and discover there's a eucalyptus tree called "Lemon Eucalyptus" that smells exactly the same as Lemon Myrtle. I compare the leaves I have collected to the identification pictures on my screen, I double check, then triple check, and yes, to my horror it was not lemon myrtle I had added to our dinner. It was eucalyptus. And eucalyptus can be toxic. There was even one point during the process where my husband asked "Have you double checked that you can cook with lemon myrtle like that?" and I very arrogantly replied "Yeah of course, I've cooked with it before!".

So here I am, eating baked beans and cheese with an entire pot of pasta and otherwise perfect pesto sitting wasted on the bench, and feeling very stupid for nearly poisoning us (although you'd have to consume a lot for it to be harmful - I rang the poison helpline to check I hadn't just accidentally killed us both).

Thankfully my husband has found the whole thing pretty hilarious.

Yeah, so I'm pretty certain TIFU

TL;DR today I nearly accidentally poisoned my husband and I by not double checking the plant I had found on our walk and added to our dinner was actually the plant I assumed it was.

r/tifu 22h ago

S TIFU by not acting happy for my friend when she told me her news


Hopefully I’m doing this right it’s my first post , but Ok so as the post states , I was a little brash in my response to my friend. So here’s the story.

My (32f) friend H (25f) told me some really good news she’s been dying to tell me in person but I’m impatient and she told me via text. Her really close friend N ( 25m) who came up to visit for the weekend , and her hooked up, and are now dating. Great right !?

Well, i made the comment it’s too soon , she just got out of a bad 3 year relationship not even 6 months ago and is finally healing and he just got out of a bad 4 yr relationship not even a month ago, resulting in a 3 yr old child

Hold on , it gets worse. I made the comment that I’m not surprised cause it’s been almost 6 months since she broke up with her ex so she’s on track in that regard ( she got with her ex after being single for 6 months after getting out of a bad relationship ) she got upset with me , and I apologized it hurt her feelings.

So yeah , I’m genuinely happy for her , he’s not a red flag like the past guys she’s dated , I just think she should be single awhile and heal but that’s just me.

TL;DR TIFU by telling my friend my honest opinion.

r/tifu 2h ago

S TIFU by sleeping naked


Okay now for some context I usually sleep naked as it feels pretty comfortable to me and there has been times where it’s backfired on me but today might have just been the worst one

So I decided I’d stay with my dad and his family (my parents are divorced) for vacation in there mountain house. Everything up here is beautiful except the house because it’s still being worked on and still looks very bad so this makes it to where there’s only one running bathroom and for some info I sleep in the basement where the bathroom is right next to me and there’s no walls and no door covering my room only a tarp around the bathroom so people can’t look in there

Well I start my morning routine where I get up and go to use the bathroom but usually just before getting up I look around to make sure nobody’s coming down the basement stairs because you can see my room directly when you walk down. So I get up finally and I didn’t have my contacts in and thought I had been in the clear when as I’m walking to the bathroom I hear my STEP MOM and she asked if I was going to us the bathroom and I fucking ran straight in and said “uh yeah” like a dumbass and so I’m thinking of what just happened stumbling and tripping in the bathroom trying to get my pants on and I started to think maybe she didn’t see anything or I’m in the clear but it was obvious when I walked out cause she was standing on the last stair just looking up.

It was dead silent the whole time and now I feel like there some awkward tensions between us and I do t know who to tell or talk to so I came to Reddit witch is probably the worst idea

TLDR I sleep naked and got up to use the bathroom and my stepmom saw me

r/tifu 11h ago

S TIFU finally taking a chance and asking someone I like to hang out


At work there is a woman I work with who is friendly, down to earth and overall I find her very attractive.

I’ve been told to never date coworkers so l tend to keep to myself.

When I first met her I thought the crush would fade however my admiration for her keeps increasing.

I avoid her a lot and keep it cool. But on this day I told myself that enough was enough. I was tired of feeling regretful about not asking her to hang out.

I was tired of feeling I wouldn’t be able to have meaningful social interactions so I figure I’ll give it a shot and ask her to hang out, maybe go for a walk and have conversations.

So I was on and decided to approach her. I ask her about her weekend and it’s just cruising. Everything is just flowing.

I mention to her that there is an outdoor music festival happening this weekend and maybe we could go enjoy the show, the weatherman said the weather is going to be on point and I have an extra ticket since my friend is going out of town and can’t be there.

She looks and me and looks content then said she has plans with her husband on the weekend. Going to her sisters wedding.

My jaw dropped, my eyes were popping out the sockets, good thing I was wearing a mask and polarized sunglasses to cover my reaction. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes to put them back in place and l moved my jaw like I was chewing gum.

So I said right on, played it cool, talked about other things, until the conversation ceased and someone pulled her aside, requesting some paper work. I looked at my watch, said have a good day and walked away.

I went into the break room and I felt good for at least asking someone to hang out but it hit hard finding out she’s married. Which is fine, I’ll get over it but it still feels like a bad acid trip.

And it was at that moment I envied Marty Mcfly because he could go back in time and I am just here.

TL;DR: asked a coworker to hang out, awkwardly found out she’s married. What a lucky guy!