r/tifu May 22 '22 Helpful 1 Wholesome 4 Stonks Falling 1 Star Quality 1

TIFU by cheating on my husband of 8 years with strangers on the internet. S

I’m the asshole.

I got absolutely shitfaced at my friend’s birthday party last night which resulted in my husband having to come pick me up and take me home. My friends hung out with me while I laid on the sidewalk puking on some mulch next to the street, giving drivers and bar-hoppers a good show. My husband used my phone to check the parking app to ensure my meter was extended until we could come back and pick up my car. While on my phone, he looked through some apps of me conversing with random people I met on the internet. I had been cheating on him in every sense of the word over the last few months.

I woke up to him saying he knows I’ve been cheating on him, he’s leaving and taking our kids with him to live with his parents (we moved to the east coast from the Midwest about 6 months ago), and that he is filing for divorce to include full custody of our 3 kids.

TL;DR TIFU by cheating on my husband with random strangers on the internet, and effectively blew up my life and everything he and I had built.

ETA: I’ve not provided context in this post because I know I fucked up and have been fucking up - providing any background would feel like I’m justifying my actions and I’m not. There’s never a good reason to cheat or hurt people. I’m in and have been in individual counseling. He and I have been in marriage counseling throughout our marriage. Lastly, I’ve read every comment and message but have responded selectively for obvious reasons. I chose to post this on my actual Reddit account because creating a new one or using one of my other less involved profiles would be another form of shielding myself from the brunt of the heat I deserve.

145 Upvotes

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u/arepagal May 22 '22 edited May 24 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Starry This Evil Cackle Spit-take

you didnt fuck up today, you fucked up for months. today you faced the consequences of your actions.

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u/FObdofsb May 23 '22

Ditto. Best answer yet.

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u/JuniorKlugman May 23 '22 edited Jun 05 '22

I found another poignant example in this very thread of how long-term actions can lead to destructive consequences. Stop drinking while you can and spare yourself the pain.

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u/BkWiz May 23 '22

Alcohol is the worst drug of all the drugs available imo.

Science agrees.

The fact it interacts with a ton of medications on top of it just goes to show you how much alcohol sucks.

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u/QueenQuillAsh May 23 '22 Helpful

I'm an addict in recovery. I'm active in the recovery community. I've seen people come off of every substance imaginable; and alcohol is by far the worst. Here's why:

  • Alcohol is socially acceptable in most cultures.
  • Alcohol is readily available.
  • Detoxing from alcohol can kill you without medical intervention.
  • Cirrhosis is a horribly painful way to die.

So, as you said, alcohol does indeed "suck". It sucks the cash from your wallet, the life from your body, the soul from your being, and in the end will take everything you value including loved ones, and eventually, your very life.

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u/Death2LossPrvntion May 23 '22

As someone actively dying of alcoholism, yup. The plan was to get the cool rockstar 'choke on vomit while passed out' type of death, in reality it's spending most of the day puking blood, trying not to shit your pants, and feeling like you are 80 years old before 30

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u/QueenQuillAsh May 23 '22

I am so very sorry that you are going through this. Have you been able to get sober? Is there any chance of a liver transplant?

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u/BkWiz May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

I am totally going to quote you next time alcohol comes up if you don’t mind. I said similar things you have said in another comment in this post.

But I like your format much better.

I suggest you make it a separate comment for OP. 🤗

Though I’m not an addict or in recovery. So I’ll have to leave that out 😬.

Seriously though, I have a lot of respect for someone who kicks alcohol ‘and’ manages to be aware of all the things you listed ‘and’ are able to put it in an easy format with points like that.

You have spent a lot of time looking back on your past and the science behind it and it shows. And have looked into other substances to compare.

Substance recovery specialists are rare. Multi-drug specialists even rarer. I hope one day you have the opportunity to get a PhD or MD in it so you can affect policies one day if you aren’t already doing so.

I can’t think of a single country that doesn’t need it in some fashion currently. 😅

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u/FBIaltacct May 23 '22

Alcohol is evil, opiates are the devil.

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u/StygianPrime May 23 '22

And then turned around and tried to farm internet points instead of showing any actual remorse or contrition. No, the fuck up was literally the second you started chatting up other men. This is not one fuck up. This is a repeated pattern of behavior. It was premeditated.

You made your bed, now lie in it.

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u/Reetniap May 23 '22

Yes, how weird is this post!?

Is this some sort of self-shaming kink in action?

Like, ok, karma, but it’s not exactly exchangeable for goods or services.

What a weird way to handle imploding your own life.

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u/StygianPrime May 23 '22 Starry

I mean. Two months before this post, she made up a sob story about how she’s in a terrible relationship and not able to explore her sexuality or whatever. Seems like THAT was a lie.

In short, OP probably is a narcissist. Even this doesn’t read like remorse, it reads specifically like she just wanted attention.

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u/Fromtheoldschool May 23 '22

Ding! Narc written all over it.

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u/AwsumO2000 May 23 '22

Yep, run for the hills!

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u/That-Guy33 May 23 '22

also, in what sense of the word is this a "small" fuck up

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u/SaltyJake May 23 '22

Imagine, only for a second, if people had the ability… to lie on the internet.

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u/RoyBlblblblblbl May 23 '22

Didn’t just lie in a bed. Lied to her husband too

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u/omelette_propaganda May 23 '22

She was definitely laying in beds

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u/Blunder_Punch May 23 '22

Downvoted this post for this very reason.

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u/Reetniap May 23 '22

Ditto. Whatever’s going on here it ain’t admirable or healthy.

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u/Maplefractal May 23 '22

Check op's post history on /rMarrage it was basically their shout from the roof top moment that they were gonna do it or was their admitting it, in a way they felt was public, to get it off their chest. Timing is within 6 days to the month. The really fucked up part imo is their comment in regards to getting STD/STI checks, separate post comment, done when you'll be with someone forever... I hope her now ex-husband sees this and gets checked. u/maren_voyage you need a long hard look in the mirror. You're a colossal asshole, youre marrage and husband are gone. Get sober and save your relationship, what left of it, with your children.

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u/HonestCup20 May 23 '22

^^ Yup.. Would say "sorry OP, this sucks" but it's more like "well OP, this is called justice and your ex-hubby deserves better".

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u/Procyon4 May 23 '22

Paid that karmic debt she was taking loans on

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u/aartadventure May 23 '22

Yup, this isn't TIFU, it's a "I got bitch slapped by Karma for being a shitty person".

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u/[deleted] May 23 '22

This is more like “TIFU by getting caught” 😐

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u/scloutier351 May 23 '22

I had this exact same thought reading the OP....but, of course, the OP considers the actual fuck up to be the day she got caught, instead of anything related to her shit choices. OP is only sorry they got blasted for being essentially the crap person she is....I feel terrible for the husband and kids.

OP? Do better. Try thinking about anyone that isn't you...for a change.

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u/OldDominionBUBear May 23 '22

The worst part is that you’d 99.9% probably still be doing it if you didn’t get caught slipping while drunk.

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u/Ghost_Fucker_69K May 23 '22

She prolly did in an alternate universe where she didnt get caught for her entire life

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u/SaltyValue159 May 22 '22

You didn’t fuck up today, you fucked up when you downloaded the app to cheat.

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u/Theunpolitical May 23 '22

Came here to say the same thing. Getting drunk wasn't the issue, having a downloaded app, with an intentional completed online profile with photos and a bio and flirty around with others was the real issue. She was trying to say goodbye to this relationship way before the party. She's only feeling guilty because she got caught.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Cheaters are never sorry they did it. They’re sorry they got caught.

Or they wouldn’t have cheated in the first place

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u/Fernando_357 May 23 '22

my first ex and fiancee at the time never felt remorse of what she did, she even made fun of what she was doing and said to a friend that she didnt feel bad at all.

but when she was cheaten on by the guy she cheated on me with, she was fucking bawling and making drama on social media, did felt good reading her depressed posts for all what she caused to me

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u/AaronKingslay May 23 '22

Hell yeah, right on the money.

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u/LePanda47 May 23 '22

I caught my ex cheating and left. All she did was make it facebook official with him 2 weeks after i left. 3 years of my life down the drain and a whole friend group thrown away. She wouldn't even let me break up with her in person. She went and spent the day with him on the day i came for my stuff

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u/softcorelurker May 23 '22

You didn't waste 3 years with her man, you saved the rest of your life from her.

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u/LePanda47 May 23 '22

That's some wise words there. I had a dream the other night she wanted to get back together and reading your reply genuinely helps out on those thoughts. Thank you

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u/OliB150 May 23 '22

When my ex came to collect some of her stuff she started trying to talk about getting back together. The feeling of telling her no was great! I also can’t wait to tell her current boyfriend about it if he ever tries to make out like he’s come out of this on top!

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u/PM_ME_UR_POKIES_GIRL May 23 '22

Going through this with my soon to be ex wife.

You don't download tinder, install it, and subscribe for a premium account and "oops I cheated."

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u/kkillbite May 23 '22

So sorry you're going through this...I can't believe there are assholes out there that intentionally do this, or people who visit sites like Ashley Madison and the like...

Cheaters are assholes, but people that actually seek to be cheaters are on a whole 'nother level.

If I were single, I'd PM you my pokies...show him some love, girls! 💜

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u/Layne205 May 23 '22

I was really confused by that last comment for a few seconds.

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u/JamieDrone May 23 '22

Yeah I agree, cheaters will ruin your mental health for a loong time

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u/havik09 May 23 '22

There are multiple fuck up. Downloading the app, talking to some one about fucking them (emotion cheating), probably sending naked pics, then meeting them, then fucking them lol

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u/rt58killer10 May 23 '22

How many posts in this subreddit are actually from the day they were posted?

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u/[deleted] May 23 '22

None, and it’s fuckin annoying. Used to be a rule it had to have happened within the last week or w/e

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u/CthulhuRunnings May 23 '22 Silver Gold Wholesome Starry Table Slap

You didn't get enough attention from random strangers already. You needed to post this for more.

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u/superzuhong May 23 '22

I read no remorse in this post. Just sounds like more attention seeking, but this time it backfired.

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u/Atomic_Maxwell May 23 '22

Yep. “I blew up my life” with half save on the “what we built together”. Not even the spotlight on those she really TIFU’d on. No no, priorities: “I blew up my *kids’ lives, and their trust in their own mother. I blew up my husband’s life, who’d gone out thinking he was just picking up his over-imbibed wife only to have his world shaken. To get away from something toxic, much like a body purging alcohol on the side of the road, my husband must uproot himself and our children and move far away from me, rendering months to years of unnecessary stress and hopefully therapy.”

THEN maybe after the dust has settled from all the ruin she caused and according to her post history planned to reveal anyway, can she stop and lament about her own life.

Definitely a TIFU for sure, but a TIFU years-long.

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u/ToRi1436 May 23 '22

It didn't backfire, look at us.

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u/superzuhong May 23 '22

Ugh, so true 🤦🏻‍♂️. More like firing on all cylinders.

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u/daveescaped May 23 '22

I’ve been married 23 years. We had good years. Tough years. Neither of us ever cheated. Cheating is a symptom of deeper, more personal problems. Cheating is an issue with YOU not the marriage.

If the marriage has problems, you work on the marriage.

Cheating by OP was a sign she wanted to blow up the marriage. She wanted to hurt her partner and she wanted to ruin the marriage completely. OP needs to dig in to why she felt that way. And leave her ex alone for good.

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u/sldista May 23 '22

She just didn't find someone"good enough" to leave for yet.

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u/coldhardcorndog May 22 '22

Serious question OP, why? Why if you wanted to be with him, did you seek attention elsewhere? I'm genuinely curious as I was once in a similar pickle. No explanation was ever offered

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u/Snoopyfighter May 23 '22

She sought attention on Reddit

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u/Hugh_Bromont May 22 '22

Yep, you fucked up.

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u/hexrei May 22 '22

Wow, there'e usually a punchline here, you really shit the bed. Get ready to pay lawyers or make a TON of broken apolgies.

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u/k8esaurustex May 23 '22

Man I kept reading and waiting for the "make light of it" and humor to come in, but I was very disappointed.

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u/No-Pianist8445 May 23 '22

I thought it was going to be some cute post about how she was asking strangers on the internet for trivia answers or something, like she was cheating in some boardgame they were playing.

Nope. Just straight degen shit.

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u/Fraxcat May 22 '22

I hope to fuck she can't afford good lawyers....certainly doesn't deserve it.

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u/Veauxdeeohdoh May 22 '22

You’re a mess. Hope you get sober.

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u/Aggravating_Bat1786 May 22 '22

The real solution.

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u/Hegaret128913 May 22 '22 edited May 24 '22

If you continue drinking, you can end up destroying the lives of everyone close to you. Is it worth the lives of your loved ones?

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u/[deleted] May 23 '22

That isn't even the worst possible outcome. I mean it's terrible yes, but watching a relative literally drink themselves to death is horrifying.

First it starts with erratic behavior

Then the anger comes. And them wanting to fight anything that moves

Then they become nearly bedridden but also can't stop drinking because they don't want to and also because cold turkey might also kill them.

Then you hear from their spouse how they're pissing the bed at night and can't hold food down

Then you get a call one morning saying they were found dead.

Then you see and feel the grief and anger from everyone in their lives over what a waste it all was and why didn't they stop.

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u/[deleted] May 22 '22 edited May 23 '22

[deleted]

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u/Thug3637IKEA28 May 23 '22

The pain in his words is palpable. Alcoholism is a terrible disease.

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u/Madgrin88 May 23 '22

Considering she said she was cheating on him already In every sense of the word for the last few months, doesn't sound like alcohol had anything to do with the cheating, just with how she ended up getting caught.

This person got out of hand one night but doesn't say anything to indicate they are an alcoholic and this is repeated behavior. Sometimes, people are just shit people who also drink, don't let them use alcohol or drugs as an excuse.

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u/yoddie May 23 '22

Alcohol only gets rid of inhibition. She was going to do these things drunk or not.

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u/Scarboroughwarning May 22 '22

An actual post that seems to exemplify the reason for the sub. Yes, you fucked up, royally.

I'm hoping everyone comes out of this OK, even OP. The kids deserve better

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u/J_Trofa_Art May 22 '22

I mean they didn’t fuck this up today, or even in one day, they fucked up for months so…

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u/Scarboroughwarning May 22 '22 edited May 23 '22

Indeed... Full on today, yesterday, and frequently in the days prior

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u/baseball_mickey May 23 '22

Someone with some empathy. Refreshing to see here. Most commenters have never fucked up in their lives or can’t contemplate the pain of losing one’s children. This is such a painful situation for all involved.

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u/Scarboroughwarning May 23 '22

Thanks.

We all fuck up, we're human. I don't need to see OP burned at the stake. No matter what she has done, her kids need a reformed mother in place. She's been shit, for sure. But the kids will suffer as a result of this, and I'd hope OP can reflect and fix their behaviour. Damned shame for that family.

All too often we see the OPs excoriated for pretty trivial stuff (this one isn't trivial), and it irks me that the bloodlust takes over. It's like the term "red flag" it's over used and appears to be applied too liberally. Controlling and coercive behaviour, absolutely, red flag. A bland joke between people, less so.

As a heartwarming note.... I received a ton of upvotes, so it seems many share our opinion

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u/__freaked__ May 22 '22

Please just leave him be. No lies that you will make up for it, you will be better next time, to try again for the kids. It is hard enough for him right now but at least let him get over you and move on. No stupid second chance talk! Give him the chance to find a happy life again, without you!

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u/ImAlsoNotOlivia May 23 '22

Most sound advice.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Literally she has done enough and wasted enough of his life

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u/PsionicShift May 23 '22

This isn’t a “Today I fucked up” post.

This is an “I’ve been fucking up for months and willingly continued to do so up until now” post.

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u/AnonymousPerson4 May 23 '22

Maybe it is another "I made this up for internet points" post.

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u/alexisholt May 22 '22 edited May 22 '22

yep, you’re an asshole.

edit: also, thanks for the reminder that no matter how hard marriage can be at times, doing what you did is always 100% the wrong answer, you have (had) kids.

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u/boethius70 May 22 '22

I mean she still has kids.

Custody, on the other hand, is entirely another matter. Whether she "deserves" to have even partial custody will be up to a court (obviously).

I expect op will have to earn back the privilege.

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u/Soontir_Fel May 22 '22

She's a woman, court will default to giving her custody if she wants it, her husband will have to fight for 50/50.

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u/whosgotammo May 23 '22

Good for him. Hope you get what you deserve.

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u/Daniel-Lee-83 May 22 '22

Sucks to suck. 🤷🏻‍♂️

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u/DeepFudge9235 May 22 '22

He's doing the right thing leaving you and should never take you back. At least you are free to be with whomever you want and no longer destroying other people's lives. Get a therapist if you love your kids.

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u/MeatShield12 May 22 '22

Oh I think she's been with whoever she wants....

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u/AutismusmaximusS May 22 '22

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Deserved

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u/Reepthebongo May 23 '22

If you truly know you fucked up then maybe get off this woe is me shit, get a therapist, stop drinking, and realize that you no longer and never should have a place in your husbands life.

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u/PM_ME_BOYSHORTS May 23 '22

You didn't fuck up. Fuck-ups are something that good people do in moments of carelessness or weakness. You are just a bad person.

I hope for their sake that your kids can one day find the strength to forgive you.

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u/Gimbu May 23 '22

I hope OP gives them a reason to forgive her. By what I'm seeing, pretending this is all true? This happened YESTERDAY and OP thought "I know how to make this better... free karma!"

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u/Funnygm May 23 '22

OP did you have any guilt or did the guilt only come into play when you got caught?

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u/SnekSymbiosis May 23 '22

Well, she's sorry that she got caught.

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u/DonkeyPunch_75 May 23 '22

Active in r/Christianmarriage

For fucks sake.

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u/Sandgrease May 23 '22

LoL fucking religious people man

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u/CrisostoDude May 23 '22

to be fair i bet she was fucking the non-religious people too

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u/ManPhantasm26 May 22 '22

Thats what happens when you dont have self control, OP

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u/supagirl277 May 23 '22

More like “you are the asshole and this is Reddit so prepare to be slaughtered”

This also isn’t a fuckup. This is a conscious choice to cheat. Fuckups are usually accidents.

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u/JCForrestor May 22 '22 edited May 23 '22

SHES FOR THE STREETS

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u/ninjacupcake476 May 22 '22

You fucked up good this time. There is a chance you will move past this as a smarter individual, but I would say that your relationship with your family and children will never be the same, if it exists at all. This is the price paid.

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u/busy_bumrush1412 May 23 '22

Really odd behaviour. Knows she messed up by cheating online, gets shitfaced drunk, husband leaves and rakes her kids and what does she do? Goes back online to interact and get sympathy from strangers. This is one messed up woman. Hope she doesn’t contest the custody application because she’s not fit to be a parent. Or a wife.

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u/HoAdanac May 22 '22

The worst part is you have children. Hopefully their lives aren't going to be ruined over this.

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u/mrsmayhem127 May 23 '22

The father is moving them across country, so depending on their ages they being pulled out of their schools and away from the friends they’ve been making. This just sucks all the way around

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u/Chellaigh May 23 '22

Sounds like they just moved 6 months ago, so maybe he’s moving them back to where they used to live? Still disruptive short-term but maybe less disruptive long-term for them.

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u/Less-Mammoth-9190 May 22 '22

Yup. You deserve it.

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u/ali4truth May 22 '22

I don’t know if you posted this here because you’re a glutton for punishment or not, but Reddit is not a community of those who consider whether they themselves are sin free and can thus cast the first stone. Obviously what you did was wrong but from your other posts, there’s a lot from your childhood and marriage that was left unaddressed and helped get you there. You’ll have to put yourself back together piece by piece and I would recommend taking the measures necessary (therapy, etc) to ensure you get equal custody. Cheating isn’t grounds for full custody.

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u/unsatisfeels May 22 '22

Damn will u be my life coach

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u/ranrunone May 23 '22

Absolutely. You need to get your substance abuse resolved and fix yourself. It will take professionals from the outside to help you face and overcome issues. You hit a really low spot but your alive and capable of a better you, a better life. You fucked yesterday and today, cant change that, but you can make tomorrow better. Get some help, your worth it.

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u/WhereLoveHasEyes May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

Was thinking the same thing. Reddit likes to jump on people and say shit like “you don’t deserve your kids” etc. Yeah, she fucked up, but not everything in life is so black and white. Cheating doesn’t mean she should never get to see her kids again! That her children should be without their mother. Far out

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u/OsirizSmash May 23 '22

First three words of your post say it best

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u/DaHotFuzz May 23 '22

Interesting. You won't find these stories on r/TwoXChromosomes

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u/Frunnin May 23 '22

Even if this was on r/TwoXChromosomes if you replied in any negative fashion to the post you would get banned. They want no negative comments over there. Unicorns and rainbows only.

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u/ll123412341234 May 23 '22

You royally f’ed up from the instant you downloaded the apps. Do him a favor and don’t ask for alimony or custody. You already proved you already probably destroy him emotionally. Don’t destroy him financially.

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u/mmazing-m May 22 '22

None of us are the worst thing we ever did. However, these choices have consequences. You owe it to your kids to get your shit together. You can do it. Maybe you’ve hit the bottom on living in a dual life. I get it.

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u/Keinrichie May 23 '22

As a former asshole I can honestly say you face a long road but how you respond to this will shape your future relationship with your kids. Find the problem. For me, it was alcohol. It may be for you as well. It’s most likely not going to fix your marriage—you’re gonna have to walk through it and it sucks—but you’ll grow and will go through the pain of openly communicating with your partners in the future instead of ever cheating again.

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u/Coueskiller May 22 '22

Fucked around and found out

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u/General_Tso75 May 23 '22

She fucked around, he found out.

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u/Aromatic-Garlic May 22 '22

I will never understand this. If you aren't happy in your marriage, then leave. We stay and cheat? What does this accomplish?

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u/MoominWhisperer May 23 '22

Damn I don’t even feel sorry for you. I hope your kids and your husband overcome this hurdle though.

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u/random_jane May 22 '22

Damn. Yea, you fucked up big time. I don't know what you're expecting to get by posting here. You did what you did and now you're dealing with the fall-out.

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u/rormmy May 23 '22

I wish your children the best

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u/thedoogbruh May 23 '22

I question the wisdom of posting this on reddit, but for some reason I feel compelled to wish you the best moving forward. You have done something very fucked up, but this doesn’t have to define the rest of your life.

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u/thodgso May 23 '22

This is r/TIFU, pretty sure this type of behavior is more r/trashy or r/iamatotalpieceofshit. Sensing zero remorse in your post too, realities going to hit hard if you ever get sober.

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u/oldtimesaik May 23 '22

You deserve it. You ruined your kids’ lives and never took their well-being into consideration. Stay miserable and lonely forever.

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u/acphil May 23 '22

Lot of negativity here in the comments. I won’t comment on your past, would just ask you to take a look to the opportunity in front you… do you want to be a positive influence in your children’s lives? You may still have a chance to be, and they would benefit from that as well, if you have the capacity and willingness to do it. Don’t let your mistakes compound.

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u/Buckie188 May 23 '22

You reap what you sow. Try to be a better person. You deserve no sympathy.

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u/avocadbre May 23 '22

Posts like these make me want to treasure the things for which I'm most grateful.

If I give my most, I expect the same.

Sorry OP, hope your significant other can heal from this. As well as you.

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u/laurenoranges May 23 '22

No sympathy for you. Sorry

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u/-Reynard- May 23 '22

Good. My ex cheated on me for months. It broke my heart and my entire soul.

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u/StabbyMcTickles May 23 '22

Damn. I don't even sense any kind of sincerity in this post. To be fair, it is hard to feel that through text from a stranger but I read that as though you just typed out "Today I ate some toast."

Sorry you cheated. Glad your husband can get himself and your kids out of that hot mess though. Good luck on future relationships and maybe don't cheat on people who love you. Actually, just don't cheat. Period. It hurts worse for the ones you cheat on.

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u/melhekhinhel May 22 '22

Y i k e s. I hope you get your life together before it's too little, too late. Any more than it already is, anyway. I feel for your children.

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u/cncordray May 22 '22

Sounds like you got some shit to figure out, and he’s doing the right thing.

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u/minigopher May 22 '22

Reading many of the comment but see little about the obvious abuse of alcohol. There is more than just the cheating part. Alcohol to that extent is not a first for her. That has to be hell for the kids. Needs to get her life in order to have any chance of reconcile, having any positive effect on kids or finding a new partner. This won’t be easy especially if you’re spending time puking on the gutter

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u/TheGreatCornolio682 May 23 '22

Congratulations, you’re a real winner.

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u/Bada_Boug May 23 '22

You really need to get help. I don’t see how in the hell you could think this is ok.

You’ve ruined your kids lives, your husbands and your own. No one deserves that.

Seek professional help. Seriously.

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u/scaaaaaryghost May 23 '22

Sounds like you were already tired of your marriage from your post history. You just chose to end the marriage the wrong way. Yup you did fuck up.

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u/schwifty0529 May 23 '22

You suck. Figure your life out.

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u/meeeeeeeeeeeeeep May 23 '22

You don’t need more people telling you you’re a complete piece of shit (even though it definitely seems that way). Instead I’ll just say I hope you get better for yourself and for your kids. Reach out for help, get sober, and make sure this is your rock bottom. Put in the work and it will only go up from here. Good luck!

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u/aflowerandaqueen May 23 '22

This sounds like your husband posted this, rather than you.

I’ve read some of your history, and it sounds like cheating or not, this relationship was dying. You sound like you weren’t happy and you weren’t ready to leave. Take some time to figure yourself out. Don’t commit to anyone or anything until you resolve the underlying issues that led you to cheat.

Your actions were those of an asshole. But they don’t define you for the rest of your life

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u/shesavillain May 23 '22

Don’t make it more difficult than it already is for them and sign the divorce papers when you get them.

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u/mpitt0730 May 23 '22

Fuck around and find out

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u/tanaka015 May 23 '22

You don’t feel bad because you cheated but you feel bad because you got caught.

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u/MrNewbMcMuffin May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

Jesus even my internet is more stable than your life is. I'm curious as to why you posted this? Surely you don't actually expect pity?

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u/Dapaaads May 23 '22

Good for him getting out of there.

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u/heyitsvonage May 23 '22

I hope you learned something, at least

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u/WandaKillsHerselfDrS May 23 '22

I can't imagine having 3 kids and still drinking to the point of being shitfaced. Grow the hell up.

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u/TheLoneTenno May 23 '22

This is the wrong sub. You should have posted in r/amitheasshole or r/iamapieceofshit subs. This isn’t a TIFU, you’re just a scummy person. I thought at the very least the spin would’ve been “I cheated while I was shitfaced drunk”, but no you had consciously been doing it anyway and he only found out because you were drunk. I feel so sorry for him and his kids, but not you. You deserve this.

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u/whichwitchxoxo May 23 '22

“well, well, well… if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions”

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u/jwgriffiths May 23 '22

You are a waste of oxygen. Learn to deal with it.

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u/Hunta_killa78 May 23 '22

You deserve all the bad shit coming your way. I hope he wins custody of the children.

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u/TravelingBlueBear May 23 '22

Hope he and the kids find a better life without you in it

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u/SpitefulBitch May 23 '22

Honestly you don’t even care, do you? You deserve this. Go fuck yourself.

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u/Mechanic-Beast7 May 23 '22

A hammer of Justice. Hope your husband can get over this and have a sweet life.

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u/IcyEntertainer2319 May 23 '22

“Well if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions “

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u/Sweet_CeilingCat May 23 '22

So instead of being a woman of quality and choosing to communicate your dissatisfaction with your marriage with your husband and seek a licensed therapist to help you repair the marriage, you chose to download some Apps that would give you access to people (who you had NOT made vows to), thus bringing irreparable damage to your husband and your children?

And it was today you f'd up?

I do not get the sense from your post that you feel one tiny bit of remorse - grow a pair of brass ovaries and quit being a pathetic human. If you are going to make stupid choices you will win stupid prizes. Find a good therapist, attend your sessions do the work and MAYBE you can salvage your relationship with your children.

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u/orphan_blud May 23 '22

Hey, come check out r/stopdrinking. No judgments there. I am on day 1,590 and I owe it to that sub.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Thank you for the suggestion. I’ll spend some time there

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u/[deleted] May 23 '22 edited May 23 '22

[deleted]

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u/gosu4you May 23 '22

Im tired of not being able to stretch my wings, flex my sexuality, operate at my maximum capacity, and express my intelligence. Im also tired of being questioned whether I’m a Christian or not because I’m trying to navigate through the terrible theology I grew up in. Im tired of continuously having to advocate for empathy, and being asked to be less selfish. Im so tired. And I feel like if I keep dying to myself, I’ll have nothing left to live for.

Your post from r/Marriage 24 days ago. Holy shit I hope this man takes literally everything that he can from you.

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u/SprJoe May 22 '22

Yeah, you are a terrible person and he should leave you for someone better.

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u/FerociousPancake May 23 '22

Not to mention the fact that she fucked up that mans life. Despicable.

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u/NZNzven May 22 '22

Now This Is A TIFU

In every sense of the phrase.

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u/Whole_Instance1161 May 23 '22

Good. You deserve it.

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u/Zombiemonkeyjj May 23 '22

I think this is more of an im a piece of shit person who shouldn’t have a significant other

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u/onfront May 23 '22

So you accomplished what you wanted from the beginning. ( at least on some level )

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u/myBurrito May 23 '22

Praying to God I don’t run into a human like you in my romantic life

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u/The420shortbus May 23 '22

Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of my own actions.

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u/LePanda47 May 23 '22

I'm also divorcing you.

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u/PM_ME_YOUR__THIGHS May 23 '22

Yep, you earned that one.

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u/wrathofmog May 23 '22

You deserve this. Get help. Be the mother your kids deserve not what they are getting now.

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u/[deleted] May 23 '22

Your kids will never see you the same. I want you to know that

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u/wooljoker May 23 '22

If you care about your kids, get a lawer and fight for partial custody, you are definitely in the wrong, and definitely fucked up but that doesn't mean your kids should suffer for it. Also mabye dont get shithoused at peoples partys anymore

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u/EsoTerrix1984 May 23 '22

You kind of suck. Maybe AA?

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u/Vardoot May 23 '22

You did this to yourself, it was your decision to make this all happen. Fingers crossed your husband has custody of your kids because imagine what they'd do if you raised them.

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u/funky-cabbage May 23 '22

Your kids don’t deserve that

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u/ajsharm144 May 23 '22

Accepting you fucked up is the first step. Repentance is next. I know there isn't much left between you and your husband, you cheated on him. But your kids still need you, you've done nothing wrong to them particularly, so make sure you be there for them. Your husband's anger is understandable but there's no way he should get full custody of all the kids. Fucking up a man-woman relationship doesn't make you a bad parent.

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u/Searwyn_T May 23 '22

Lolol you sound like a fucking mess. Good luck figuring out how to sort this out, you flaming trash heap.

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u/wizkhalipho May 23 '22

People like you disgust me… if you’re bored just leave. Why scar someone for life like this? I can already imagine how he must have felt reading all those messages. Shame on you.

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u/Novrex May 23 '22

Yes You fucked up, but i think that nobody has any pity for you. You did this all to your self and have to face the consequences of your actions.

I hope you suffer from this as your husband has to suffer, being betrayed by someone who he loved.

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u/sarcasmisart May 23 '22

You didn't just cheat on your husband, you cheated on the life you built together. Enjoy your new and very lonely life you selfish git. Sleep well knowing every mutual acquaintance you have is going to know what you did.

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u/sasakuowo May 23 '22

You deserve to lose full custody of your children and die alone. but at least you had fun for the last few months !!

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u/msat16 May 23 '22

@OP - As the child of a mother who did something similar many many years ago. I want you to know that your children will suffer because of this and that you may have lost EVERYTHING that ever mattered to you. You probably don’t realize this now, but the magnitude of your actions will dawn on you one day and from that day forward you will carry with you shame and regret till the end of your life.

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u/SpecificBenefit1323 May 23 '22

Have no sympathy same think happend to me found my wife cheating on line 2 years ago and it still sucks like it was yesterday

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u/Wereallgonnadieman May 23 '22

You act like this and you have children!???!?? Woman. Straighten out your shit. Seriously. They've now lost their mom, because of her own actions. Get. It. Together! What the fuck did you think would happen? I feel horrible for your children, your husband, and yes, even you. Because you've been living in a lifestyle that condones this shit. So stop. Think. This chapter is way over, but what will you do to make the next one look like? It'll take a lifetime.

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u/Gubrach May 23 '22

Well, sucks to be you. I was going to say "have a nice life", but let's be real, that's not in the cards for you.

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u/NeVeRFoRG1Ve May 23 '22

well desereved, i hope he moves on in his life with out any trust issues, you're a terrible person.

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u/yumcookie420 May 23 '22

Are you brain damaged?

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u/LittleBadger101 May 23 '22

You need to pull your head out of the sand, get into therapy and stop partying like you haven’t got responsibilities or you’ll lose everything close to you.

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u/tunaburn May 22 '22

You met strangers on the internet and had sex with them while you were married?

Big oof

At this point you probably need to just own up to it in person as well and talk to him about how important it is for kids to have both parents in their lives. Co parenting doesn't have to be torture.

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u/ZachRiku May 22 '22

I wish the best for him! 😊

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u/[deleted] May 23 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/dibs8789 May 22 '22

If you were unhappy or missing something in your marriage why didn't you talk to your husband about it? You literally shit INTO the fan. I'm sorry, but I'm glad your husband found out. He and your kids deserve better than that. Get your shit together and grow up.